Heinz may have been evil, but he knew what it was like to feel love. He loved Vanessa, he had loved Charlene, Elizabeth, and Linda, and there was another kind of best friend / nemesis love that he felt for Perry the Platypus.

This love blew all those out of the park. It wasn't just that she was gorgeous, with auburn hair and green eyes. It wasn't just her name sounded so evil - Olivia - It just rolled off the tongue in the most wonderfully evil way. It wasn't even how beautifully evil she was. Heinz felt like he connected with her on a whole different level. Like they were made for each other. He could feel it - it was almost magnetic. Every time he touched her, it was like he zapped himself with a Buzzing-inator.

He was so glad that he had made that date. This feeling was so exhilarating. Instead of making him feel less evil, it made him feel more evil. More alive. He felt like he could do anything.

They walked to the pier. The moon was beautiful. For once, he was glad the plan to blow up the moon had failed. And the plan to stop the full moon. Maybe he'd carry out the plan he thought of to blow the moon into the shape of a heart.

He took her hand. He wanted to be with Olivia forever. He looked deep into her eyes. "I have never been happier in my whole life!" He meant it.

And suddenly, the Anti-Love-inator fell from the sky. Oh no! It might zap my Olivia! Heinz took decisive action. He grabbed Olivia, and, not wanting to take any chances, shoved her into the water, which, luckily, wasn't too deep.

"Heinz?" The laser lit up the area that Olivia had been standing. That was a close one. Heinz picked up a stick, pressed the Self-Destruct button, and leapt into the water to rescue Olivia.

They climbed onto the beach, sopping wet. "Heinz, what was that about?"

"Oh, that was my Anti-Love-inator. It was going to make you not feel love, and the idea, well, it broke my heart."

"Wait. You built a device so I wouldn't feel love?"

"No, I built a device to remove the feeling of love from the entire Tri-State Area. You know, in case our date didn't go well."

"You were going to do that, just to ruin everyone else's life?" She seemed angry. Heinz braced himself.

"That's so petty - and evil. I must admit, I find that extremely attractive."

"You do?" Heinz was overjoyed. "You really do?"

"Well, of course! Now, let's go home. I don't know about you, but I'm getting cold in these sopping wet clothes. How about we schedule a… second date?"

"Oh boy! A second date! I've only had two of those! And I've only had one third date! Yippee!"

Olivia laughed. "Heinz, you are adorable. And evil. You're adorably evil."

"You are, too, Olivia. Olivia, I - I - I think I love you!"

"Heinz, I love you too."

:) :) :)

Author's Note: Alternate ending to "Chez Platypus," of course. The original ending was depressing. And the name Olivia is a coincidence.

Please review! I appreciate them.