I DON'T DESERVE THIS

Summary: Max was recently in an abusive relationship, but got out with the help of her friends Nudge and Ella. Her second year of college gone (all three are 20 years old), she has nothing to do over summer break except mope...until her two friends gift her with a three-month, all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii to take her mind off things. While there, she and her friends meet three guys who could just be the loves of their lives. Inspired by "Circles" by Hollywood Undead. WARNINGS: AU, OOC, intense language, dark themes, lemons 'n' limes. Rated M for a reason, people.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Maximum Ride or its characters (all of that belongs to the genius who is James Patterson). I DO own my conscious thought and the plotline in this story, though, so please don't print or copy and paste without my permission.

CHAPTER I

"You bitch!" he snarled. I felt the sting on my cheek, and my head swung to the side, making a sick "crack" sound against the drywall. "You think you can disobey me just because you want to?" I felt the sting again, heard the "crack" again as the wall broke under the force. I felt myself falling, and I crashed down on the floor on my butt. My breath left my in a huff.

"I'm s-s-sorry," I whimpered, covering my head. There was a sudden, searing pressure against my rib cage, and another, different cracking sound. I felt flames pour out of my side, but when I looked through my tears, there was no fire.

"Sorry doesn't change things!" he growled, and kicked me again. And again. And again. And again. I fell on my side and curled in a fetal position, but the kicking didn't stop, and I think my vision went black around the edges, but I couldn't be sure. My eyes were closed. "Get UP, you useless piece of shit!"

I attempted to scramble to my feet, but the pain was too intense, and I was showered with horrible bolts of lightening, hitting me, kicking me, slapping me, hurting me. I cowered in fear, unable to move, unable to save myself.

"S-stop!" I whispered. I couldn't make my voice any louder. The pain was too much. It hurt, threatened to suck me under. "P-please." He couldn't hear me. The kicking didn't cease, but it slowed, as if he was getting tired. I grasped the opportunity. "D-Dylan. Dylan, you're h-hurting me."

"You're hurting me!" I screeched, my voice finally grasping volume. I shot up out of bed, horrified. My head swerved from side to side. I saw no threats, but my heart rate didn't lower and my breathing was still heavy. It was dark, I noticed; the glowing numbers on my digital clock pronounced that it was 3:30 in the AM. I fell back against my pillow.

It had been two months since I'd left that son of a bitch, Dylan. But I hadn't done it alone. I'd practically been forced by my best friends, Tiffany (affectionately called Nudge) and Ella, to break it off. It had happened after they noticed a particularly large bruise on my face, hardly coverable by makeup. They hadn't known it got that bad; they believed the abuse was purely emotional, and though they greatly disapproved and I got many lectures, they couldn't force me to budge.

Since that time, I'd been having nightmares every other night—and paranoia issues 24/7.

I shivered and grabbed my cell phone off my nightstand, quickly pulling the covers over my head for warmth; the sweat that covered my like a film was giving me a chill. I hurriedly texted my friends.

r u guys awake?

The reply was almost immediate, and I felt a pang of guilt for making them both so anxious.

Nudge: always...wats up?

Ella: tell me evrything.

I told them about my dream—leaving out the swears and the emotions that had coursed through my dreaming brain—and there was hardly a pause before I got my replies.

Nudge: im sorry max. want us to come over?

Ella: hang in there, im on my way.

I winced. That hadn't been what I was going for. I didn't want to rouse them from their sleep—or potential sleep, at least. I felt like a horrible person for forcing them to feel sorry for me. Pity was the last thing I wanted.

I peered out of my cocoon of sheets at my clock. 4:00. I hated myself even more. A sudden buzz from my phone made me jump, and I looked at it warily.

Ella: dont feel guilty. its our decision. im almost there.

Her kind words made me want to cry. Feeling the wetness in the corners of my eyes, I immediately shut myself down. I had to be strong. My life was screwed up, but I had to be the tough one. If not for my dad or for my friends, for myself. I didn't want to succumb to the whimpering baby I'd been when I was still with him. I was better than that now. I had to be. My fingers automatically texted the two back with a quick note of thanks.

I took a deep breath to steady myself and looked out my window at the darkness. Then I remembered. Today was the first day of summer. I actually found myself stifling a giggle at how highschool-esque that sounded. Then I felt a familiar bleakness crawl into my mind. Without school to occupy my attention, I would have more time to think. With more time to think, I'd have more time to remember. With more time to remember, I'd have more flashbacks, more nightmares about the abusive asshole who'd caused me so much pain. I gritted my teeth and got up, stretching my thin form, taking care as I straightened my favorite black camisole so it wasn't scrunched up around my torso and pulled down the edges of my knee-length grey yoga pants that had begun to ride up. It was my favorite sleeping outfit: comfy, light, and cute.

Yawning, I made my way downstairs, trying not to wake my mother and sister, the latter being Angelica, known to family and close friends as Angel. A quick bowl of cereal later and I was opening the door for my two bedraggled friends. They made their way over to the table with me in tow, and when we reached it, we all sat down. Ella looked at me with determined eyes.

"Tell us everything."

When I finished and everyone had done their songs and dances (AKA, "It's okay, Max," and "Everything's fine. He's not going to hurt you anymore, Max."), there was silence. I looked down at the table, unable to meet anyone's eyes. I felt so weak and needy. Nudge cleared her throat, and I braced myself for the chatterbox's monologue.

"We need to get you outta here," she said firmly, and I looked at her in surprise. She shot a quick glance over at Ella, who nodded, inviting her to go on. Now I was curious.

"Whaaa?" was my intelligent reply.

"We need to—" she started again, but I cut her off.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard that," I interrupted briskly. "What do you mean? Like, a vacation?"

"Exactly!" Nudge exclaimed, then clapped a hand over her mouth. I glanced at the clock. It was about five. Mom and Angel were still sleeping. I raised an eyebrow.

"We think that a change of scenery would be a welcome change," Ella continued as if none of that had passed. I turned my attention to her. "We were brainstorming with your mom about...well, taking you on a sort of long vacation with us. To somewhere nice. Away from here."

"How far away?" I asked, and noted with deepening suspicion that the two glanced at each other.

"Well, like...Hawaii?" Nudge replied. It sounded like a question. I stared at her, confused. Hawaii? Why...how...when...? I mentally slapped myself for thinking so incoherently. Yes, Hawaii, Maximum! That IS what she said, isn't it? But...how...? Okay, back to the incoherency...

"I can't afford Hawaii," I said stiffly, so as not to confuse my already muddled brain. Nudge grinned.

"That's just it, Max!" she practically shouted, and Ella and I shushed her. She sheepishly hung her head before continuing in a quieter voice. "Well, like, my grandparents have a bajillion frequent flyer miles and stuff from all their vacationing, and so they said they'd put the miles towards tickets for us if we wanted, and plus we all have money set aside for college, but we already got grants and part-ride scholarships so we didn't need any of it, so all of that is going to be more than enough to get us there and back. I guess it would be enough even without the savings on our part, but I mean, you're always so stubborn about finances, so I assumed you would want to have some of your own money in the pool. But my grandparents would be happy to cover it all. I'm their favorite. I'm also the prettiest. They told me on my last visit there. They said, 'Tiffany, you're honestly the prettiest girl in the world.' Can you believe—mmrphg!"

Ella quickly covered Nudge's mouth with her hand once she realized the rambling had started. I grinned. This was nothing new.

"So..." I said after a moment of silence, so casually that there was a round of giggles from everybody. "When do we pack?"

Nudge clapped excitedly and Ella's usual smile grew wider. The latter hurriedly filled me in on the details.

"The plane is taking off at about eleven o'clock tonight, so we should get to the airport around ten," Ella quickly calculated. "That means we should leave at 9:30 or so, just in case of traffic. It won't hurt if we get there a little bit on the early side."

"Tonight?" I asked incredulously. "How am I supposed to pack for a trip to Hawaii in less than a day?" I froze at their expressions, which were slowly turning into smiles so large I thought their mouths would just fall off their faces onto the table. "What?"

"We already packed," Nudge replied briskly, quite unusual for her. I raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. "So we could, you know. Help you."

I was practically beaming. "Thanks, guys. I'll tell my mom when she gets up. She'll need to know where I'm going for...how long is this going to be?"

"All summer long!" my friends chorused, and I laughed at their corny reference to Kid Rock.

"And your mom already knows," Ella added, looking embarrassed. "We were both kind of counting on you saying yes, so...surprise!"

I laughed again. They sure knew how to turn the mood around. This was going to be awesome!

"What are we waiting for?" I asked with a smirk. "Let's get cracking!"

"This is so amazing!" Nudge squealed as we felt the familiar butterflies that meant the plane was descending. "We're in freaking Hawaii! Like, wow! Can you believe it? We're gonna get leis and we're gonna go to luaus and everything is gonna be so epically cool! Do they really have pigs with apples in their mouths at luaus? Not that I'm insulting the culture here or anything, but that's just so gross. I wouldn't want to eat a pig. I mean, I guess I eat ham and stuff, but actually looking at its face? I don't know if I could...um..."

Nudge shifted and fidgeted in her seat as a flight attendant walked by, eyeing her with a slightly bemused look. Ella and I grinned at each other and Ella made a "zip" motion across her mouth. I had to laugh. Then the seatbelt light came on, and the pilot gave his spiel about landing. I was practically bouncing in my seat with anticipation by the time he was finished. I looked over at the others, wondering if they were excited as I was.

Then we fell out of the sky.

"Oh, my God!" I exclaimed. I grabbed Ella's arm. "We're gonna die!"

She looked at me like someone would look at a turtle who just barked. "Max, chill! We're just going down."

"That's what I'm afraid of!" I practically wailed, looking around frantically and ignoring the glances. Come to think of it, it might very well have just been some random encounter with turbulence. But for someone who hates flying with a vengeance (ahem, me) and tightly enclosed spaces (me again), descending from the sky in a bumpy manner might very well be the source behind some nightmares for weeks to come.

Ella grabbed my arm to steady me, and I calmed slightly. If my friends weren't scared, I had nothing to be afraid of, right? Anyway, almost as soon as she touched me, the plane hit the ground. We bounced a few times before finally sticking, and the pilot talked us through the unloading process as we taxied.

"Alright, guys," the crackly voice said. "For those of you coming to Hawaii for the first time, and even those experienced travelers, aloha!" There was a chorus of alohas back at him, and a round of laughter. "Since we've had so many flights here today, all of the terminals are being used. That means we get to kick you all out on the tarmac!" A few laughs. "Tough crowd. Anyway, we're going to get a couple of stairs out here so y'all can get off without breaking your legs, and there are going to be some nice ladies handing out complimentary leis for the trouble. Aloha again, and mahalo for flying with us to Hawaii."

As promised, we were soon off the plane and heading across the airport with purple leis around our necks, talking and laughing.

"That was such a long flight!" Nudge complained. "I wanted to get up and walk or something, but I couldn't. I mean, how hard would it have been for you two just to move so I could pee? Not hard, right?"

Before she could start an all-out rant, Ella broke in. "I thought it was a great flight...until someone thought the plan was crashing." She eyed me warily.

"I don't like flying," I muttered. "But at least I didn't annoy the flight attendants every time they walked by!"

Nudge rolled her eyes and flicked her hand, dismissing my jab. "Whatever. Let's just get to the resort."

"Ooh, resort," I teased. "Fancy."

"It is, actually," Ella chimed in as we paused momentarily for a ruffled family of five to cross our path. "Its rating was amazing. They've got individual cottages for different people to rent out. Plus they rent out snorkel and scuba supplies. And they have a food court, gift shop, and a complex full of department stores."

"So we had to pack why?" I asked sarcastically as we resumed our walk. Ella looked up at a sign and we abruptly turned left. I had to jog to keep up. "And where are we going? Checked bags are the other way."

Ella groaned and I laughed as we made a wide u-turn. "I hate airports."

"Why?" Nudge asked, sounding stunned. "This is a Hawaiian airport. It's beautiful here. And it's mostly outside. Do you find it strange at all that the weather here is nicer than it is back in Arizona? 'Cause this is Hawaii, y'know, and it's always supposed to be hot here? Or is this like the year-round temperature? If that's the case, I definitely want to move to Hawaii. Well, maybe I would move here even if it snowed all the time, because it's so beautiful. Ooh, unless the snow made it ugly. Then I would want to live somewhere prettier. I guess Arizona—"

"We're here," I interrupted, and Ella shot me a thankful glance. We waited for our checked luggage to arrive on the conveyer belt and quickly rolled them in the direction the sign that stated "Hotel Pickups" pointed. Directions were extremely overrated, as it turned out, because we ended up by the bathrooms.

"Ugh," I moaned. "Why would they do that?"

Nudge and Ella shrugged, and we looked around for more signs that would hopefully be more help than the ones we had recently encountered.

"Need some help?" a voice asked. We turned and saw three guys about our ages standing there. There was a pale, blonde one and a brown-haired, slightly tanned one. But I wasn't really looking at them. I was looking at the God who had spoken, standing in the middle. He was very tan with dark hair and deep brown eyes. He was wearing a short-sleeved black dress shirt, but I could still see the ripple of well-toned muscles under it as he moved.

I quickly shut my gaping mouth to avoid catching flies and said, "Yeah, um...do you know where hotel pickup is?"

"Sign didn't help?" the blonde one muttered, and the brunette punched him playfully.

"It's that way," the latter instructed us, pointing. "It's where we're going, too."

I waited, but no one seemed to move an inch. Sighing, I started walking quickly, and heard Nudge and Ella follow. The boys easily kept pace off to our left. I rolled my eyes. It felt like forever, but we finally made it. I looked back at Ella, who nodded towards a bus that read "OCEAN VILLAGE RESORT" on its side. A man stood next to the door, talking to people and helping them load their luggage under the bus. Sweet. I made a move to walk over to it, but Ella shook her head and nodded again, this time over to the right. I slid my gaze over and saw a red convertible with the top down. The license plate read "RENTAL: 1274855". My jaw dropped.

"That's the resort," Ella told me as we walked over to the car. "But I decided it might be nice to rent a car so we can drive around the island a bit instead of just relying on cabs and buses for three months." We crammed our luggage in the small trunk. "This company charges by the month for residents and long-stay vacationers so...I thought why not get a nice car?"

Ella got in the driver's seat as Nudge and I hopped in the back. I had to admit, her logic was uncanny. Nudge glanced behind us and giggled.

"Guess who just got on the bus?" she whispered excitedly. I turned just in time to see my personal Greek God hit the steps and disappear. They were going. To our resort. Our resort. Our freaking resort.

For the first time that vacation, I relaxed in my seat and closed my eyes.

"This is going to rock."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, how am I doing? Do you want this story to continue? COMMENT, PEOPLE! The more reviews I get, the faster I update. That's the deal here. If you guys can somehow come up with ten by the end of the day, I'll get the next chapter up by tomorrow. 'Cause I'm just that awesome. Peace out, yo. =D

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