March Madness

The current week had many names: the week before Spring Break, the week of midterms-galore, the week of really crazy shit happening in the wee hours of the night…

"I CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING COMES FROM AN EGG!"

Wally tossed his pen across the dining room table and leaned back in his chair until the gods of physics trembled violently. He fell forward and slapped his cheeks with both hands. His bloodshot eyes stared widely at the diagram before him.

"LIKE, ISN'T THAT CRAZY?" he continued to yell as if all the epiphanies of science-past had crashed into his buzzing brain in one nano-second. "Chicken EGG, Drosophila EGG, C. elegans EGG!" He jumped out of his chair and half-walked, half-waltzed, to Artemis.

She was sitting cross-legged on the living room couch, a fan of papers in one hand, and a lap-top snuggled on her lap. She silently mouthed the words to whatever song was currently playing through her one dangling ear-bud, and just generally looked slightly more…well, sane, than her boyfriend.

"Eggs, Wally, yes…" she replied, her voice trailing off as she began furiously typing.

Wally spun in place and then slumped face-first onto the floor. He spread out his arms and continued to lay there. Brucely perked his head up and would have raised an eyebrow at his prostrate master had he the conscience to do so. Instead, the pit bull just went back to sleep.

It was currently 3:00 AM at the Spitfire apartment in Palo Alto, and both Wally and Artemis were powering through a mountain of study material, lab write-ups, and essays. Midterm season tended to bring out the crazy in everyone.

Wally mumbled something, and Artemis finally looked up. "Yes, Babe?" she asked.

He turned his face towards her and spoke again, "Can I has another energy drink?"

Artemis leaned forward to peer into the dining room, and counted 1…2…12 empty cans of Monster stacked into the shape of a pyramid. She then slowly turned to Wally with a look that clearly read, "That…wasn't…enough…for…you…why?"

"Faaaaaaaaast metaaaaaaaaaaaboliiiiiiiiiiiiiiism," Wally whined into the hardwood panels.

Artemis sighed. She pulled the ear-bud from her ear, paused the music, gently moved her laptop and notes to the coffee table, and softly walked to Wally's side and knelt down.

"Wally."

"Nehhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Wally, c'mon, get some sleep."

"Genenenenenetics."

"You've been up for what… seventy hours now?"

"High levels of hunchback in the anterior end, low levels of bicoid…"

"See, you know your stuff! You're going to be just fine for tomorrow's exam." She stood up, picked up one of Wally's arms, and began dragging him across the floor. Surprisingly, he didn't protest, not even when he face rubbed against the living room rug.

When they reached the bedroom, Artemis dropped his arm and nudged his shoulder with her toe.

"Up you go."

Wally's only response was a twitch and a snore.

Artemis groaned. "Son of a…!" She was tempted to just leave him face down on the carpet, but then what kind of girlfriend would she be? So she positioned her legs around his torso, slipped her hands underneath his arm-pits, spat out a few swear words, and heaved his head and chest onto the bed, followed by the rest of his torso, and then one leg after the other.

She finally huffed, and stood back with her arms on her hips to admire her handiwork.

"I present to you," she whispered proudly to no one in particular, "'The Slumbering and Snoring Speedster'!"

There was a snort from Wally, and his mouth—relaxed just moments ago from feigned sleep—formed into a smile and he gradually started giggling…and then chuckling…until his whole body was shaking with laughter.

Artemis glared silently at him, and then with a war-cry, tackled him.

"YOU WERE AWAKE THE ENTIRE TIME?" she cried out. "AND YOU MADE ME HAUL YOUR HEAVY-ASS—YEEEK!" She suddenly screeched as Wally flipped around and began attacking her with ferocious tickles.

He then began to unleash fake-cries of woe into the night. "AND ALL I WANTED WAS ANOTHER CAN OF MONSTERRRRRRRRRR! UH HU HU HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Brucely then appeared in the doorway, and jumped excitedly onto the bed with his masters. Wally turned his tickling talents to the dog instead, and a newly freed Artemis took the chance to head-butt Wally in the chest. And then it was Artemis's turn to unmercifully tickle Wally while the barking dog covered his screaming master's face with slobber.

Well you know what they say… study hard, tickle-slobber-laugh-fight harder!

A/N: ...I don't remember why I wrote this.