Hey guys! So, nothing really to say but...Hurricane Irene is on its way, I'm stuck inside my house with nothing to do but write, which I love to do right now considering I have a lot of stuff on my mind. Please enjoy this one-shot I'd like to call "Toy Soldier"...

A Special Thanks To My Beta Reader-SomeoneNamedLiz

Also, good luck to all of you who are starting school! I sadly go back Thursday :(

TOY SOLDIER

LOVE: We think about it, Sing about it, Dream about it, and Loose sleep worrying about it. When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. When we have it, we fear losing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But, we don't know which it will be from one moment to the next. Is it a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define and impossible to live without.

CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE

"I'll be back Clare, I promise," these are the six words that have haunted my mentally unstable mind ever since the twenty first of December, one year ago.

Elijah Goldsworthy, the boy of my dreams, my best friend for as long as I can remember, my husband of six years and the wonderful father of my five year-old daughter, Jessica.

He's been on leave for one year, to this day.

Being the wife of a soldier, how to describe it in the least words as possible, not easy.

Many people ask me how I do it, how I remain faithful to Eli and how I take care of my little girl all alone...my reason, love.

As cheesy and ridiculous as that sounds, my love for Eli and love for my daughter are the only two things that keep me waking up on every dark morning that I feel like sleeping in my bed for the rest of the day and crying myself back to sleep.

"You know, she's going to need a father figure in her life-," I cut Jake off and hissed through gritted teeth, "she has Eli."

Jake Martin, the man who has been my "friend" since childhood and the only so called friend who stayed around when I needed a good laugh or just someone to lean on when my weak heart had started to bleed hopeless love.

"Clare, I know she has Eli, but now that he's been out on the battlefield, she's going to need someone to drop her off at kindergarten and stick up for her when a school bully pushes her into the sandbox during recess," I smiled kindly and watched as my little girl ran around with the other care-free children in the park.

"Jake, I know you care about us so much...but, we've made it this far on our own and I think one more year without Eli won't kill us," I whispered while taking a deep breath and wiping the tears away with my ice cold finger tips.

Tears.

The one thing, the one fluid that is constantly being released from my body ever since the day Eli left me all alone, in the pouring rain, at the airport.

"If you're not going to take me up on my baby daddy offer, then can you at least promise me something?" Jake asked as we both looked at Jess, who was giggling uncontrollably while slowly swinging back and forth on one of the swings as the wind picked up and her hair flew lightly in the wind.

"Depends," I mumbled while glancing at him as he turned to face me and say, "If you ever get lonely or ever need someone to talk to about anything, I'm just a bus ride away...or a three minute run, or you know, a twenty second jet fly."

I smiled and said, "I promise Jake."

"Good," he whispered in my ear when he wrapped his arms around me and tightened the grip that he had around my waist.

Oh how I wish these were Eli's arms...

When I pulled away from our embrace, I called out Jessica's name and told her it was time for all of us to go home. It was getting late anyway, the sun was going down and it was yet another day to cross off the calendar until Eli comes home.

"Can we come back tomorrow Mommy, please?" she begged, her tiny hands tugging at my jeans while glancing up at me with those piercing green eyes.

Just like her fathers...

"Sure sweetheart," I said while tapping her lightly on the head as she darted in front of me as Jake chased after her, pretending to be the boogie man and screaming playfully...

"What are you going to do for your birthday tomorrow?" Jake asked me as I smiled, handing him a steaming cup of coffee while saying, "going to the park of course!"

I glanced at Jess, noticing she had fallen asleep in Jake's arms as he said, "Come on Clare, you need to have fun. I mean, you're the only woman I know who looks over this little girl like she's breakable. You're the best mom out there."

And Eli's the best father out there...

"Thanks Jake, but I think it's time for you to go home. I'm tired, Jess is asleep and-," Jake quickly stood up, holding her securely in his arms while smiling, "O-oh yeah, of course no problem...I'll just, put her in her bed and go."

As Jake made his way upstairs, I made my way to the kitchen and I couldn't help but stare down at the stack of mail that had been piled up on the table since this morning.

Tears began to drip onto the single envelope that was placed firmly on the top of the pile as I gripped it tightly in my hands that had my name written in perfect, faint black letters.

"Oh god," I whimpered as I shakily opened it and unfolded the letter from Eli.

I looked around me, making sure Jake or Jess was not around me and still upstairs, as I sniffled, wiping my irritated eyes and began to read the heart racing letter...

My dearest Clare,

It's that time of the year again, the one day where I can undoubtedly smile no matter where I am without you. As you already know I would already walk billions of miles with no shoes on just to say "happy birthday and I love you". You are my special girl and I miss you so much. Please know that I can't wait until the day I wrap my arms around you and Jessica. Tell my little girl I love her to death. I want you to know that ever since I had to let go of you and Jess at the airport, you guys are the only two girls on my mind. Just one more year Clare...one more year.

I love you Clare, so much.

-Eli.

P.S. Please don't cry during/after you read this letter because I love you and want you to stay strong Clare. This year will fly by, I promise...

I took a deep breath, slamming my hands frustratingly down on the counter as tears unintentionally dripped onto the letter, making the writing on the paper become slightly smudged.

"Clare, come on, it's time for you to go to bed," I heard Jake say while trying to pry Eli's letter from my hands as I screamed, "No! Don't! Stop it! Let me hold it!"

Due to my voice raising unexpectedly loud, I had surprised the both of us as I jumped back, gripping the letter tightly as I whispered, "Thank you for putting Jess to bed. But, now it's time for you to go Jake, seriously."

Running away.

That's always been one of my favorite things to do, one of my favorite outlets in life when things get tough. It's always been there and will always be there for me..as an option.

I quickly ran up the steps, shutting the door behind me as I flopped down on our bed, clenching the letter tightly to my broken heart. The tears had nearly blinded my sight as the lonely darkness took over...

Slam!

"Mommy! Mommy! Wake up Mommy, it's your birthday! Wake up! Get up!" Jessica screeched loudly, her words echoing through my head as I groaned, turning onto my side and saw the time through blurred vision.

"Honey, it's only three in the morning, go back to bed sweetie," I mumbled as she tugged at my shirt and begged, "Mommy, you have to see your present I got you!"

I sat up slowly, rubbed my eyes lazily while whispering, "Okay, okay."

My body was being dragged out of bed by an over excited five year old girl as the letter from Eli had fallen to the floor. When I bent down to grab it, Jess grabbed it before I could and said, "You don't need this! Come on!"

I made my way down the steps, as Jessica smiled while saying, "I didn't really have time to wrap it, but I still think you'll like it...or I hope so!"

My lips curled into a smile as I whispered, "Of course I will sweetie."

"Close your eyes mommy," she said as we faced the door and she ordered calmly, "No peeking."

"I'm not, don't worry," I said groggily as I felt the doorknob 'click' meaning that the door had been opened and a gust of cool wind hit me square in the face.

"What did you get-," I stopped talking when I opened my eyes, only to see the man that I fell hopelessly in love with. A caring smirk was plastered across my face as I couldn't help but try and find ways to breathe.

Was this real?

"Did you miss me?" Eli asked, tears rolling down on all of our cheeks as he held his arms wide open as Jessica wrapped her tiny arm around Eli's leg and asked innocently, "Do you like my present mommy?"

"Yes sweetheart, I love it," I whispered as my knees buckled in shock and Eli quickly wrapped his arms around me before I hit the wooden floor.

"You're really here," I whimpered as he embraced me in his arms, kissing my lips chastely, sliding his tongue through my parted lips, his warm breath engulfing my cold mouth.

My lips trembled when he pulled away and Jess jumped in my lap, screeching, "We missed you so much daddy!"

I gazed up at Eli as he wrapped his arms around the both of us, caressing us in his grip and I whispered, "Yeah daddy, we missed you so much."

Eli sniffled, his strong arms embracing the both of us tighter than anyone could imagine as he said, "I love you guys so much."

His smooth lips came in contact with my temple, as I breathed out a sigh of relief and when I noticed that his bags had been piled up in our living room, I glanced up at him with a look of hope as his head bobbed up and down with tears streaming down his face.

"Happy Birthday, Clare Goldsworthy."

END OF TOY SOLDIER

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Love you guys,

Cliffhanger Girl

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