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Ella: Hey guys! Max and Ella here. You were expecting Fang, weren't you? Can you keep a secret? We've just hacked into Fang's blog (with a little help from Nudge, of course).
Max: Here's the thing: Fang won't be updating his blog anytime soon. Why, you might ask? He's suffering from a little condition known as extreme humiliation. Or, in scientific terms, extremus humiliationus.
Ella: …Courtesy of us. You see, devoted readers of Fang's blog, Fang and Iggy stole Max's diary recently.
Max: Journal! It's a journal!
Ella: Whatever. Anyways. Fang and Iggy recently stole Max's journal, and read a few entries out of it. Namely, the one where Max went all hysterical because Fang gave her a promise ring.
Max: Hey! You weren't supposed to tell anyone about that!
Ella: Max! If you keep interrupting, I'm never going to finish telling Fang's readers why he's in bed with extremus humiliationus!
Max: Sorry.
Ella: That's okay. Moving along now. Fang and Iggy read Max's journal, in all of it's gushing-teenage-girl glory. We couldn't let them get away with that heinous crime, now could we?
Max: No, we could not. And that's why we waxed their legs. Let me tell you…I'm still deaf in one ear from Iggy's agonized screams. And Fang, his legs covered in a dull green mud mask, withering in pain? Not an image I'm likely to forget soon.
Ella: You know what the best part was? We got it on video.
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Max: Welcome back. As you have just seen, Ella and I took the video of Fang and Iggy's torture.
Ella: After it was done, we decided to embarrass them further. How?
Max: By making them watch the video.
Ella: Below is an excerpt of their exact reactions while watching it.
Iggy: (winces) I didn't know my voice was so…high.
Fang: You're the only one. That's good though, it's about time to accept the fact that you haven't hit puberty yet.
Iggy: Max and Ella are horri—oh God, what was that? Did my voice reach previously uncharted levels of squawky-ness?
Fang: Your face reached "previously uncharted levels" of redness too.
Iggy: Good to know, Fang, good to know.
Fang: Oh crap. We're almost at the part when I get my legs waxed.
Iggy: BWAHAHA! I'm looking forward to this.
Fang: I'm not. (Glares).
I don't get why girls always make a big fuss about getting their legs waxed. It's not like it's that bad. You've gotta learn how to take it like a man.
Iggy: Words to live by. Your big moment is almost here, Fang!
Fang: (More glares).
Oh! Just what we need!
Iggy: Just a few more seconds…
Fang: (Grabs a pillow, whacks it down on Iggy's head, while taking another pillow and burying his head in it).
Gah! My skin's peeling off! What is this! I never knew mud had the potential to be used as a torture device…I can't look. Are my legs eaten away to the bone?
Iggy: Yeah, that's right Fang. Take it like a man.
Fang: Shut the hell up. If I recall, it was you, screaming around like a mutant monkey while your legs were getting waxed. At least it took that Brazilian expo-thingy to get me to crack.
Iggy: And yet when you do, it's so, so funny.
This-this atrocity is such that can only be endured by women!
Fang: Death by green goop. Who could've guessed?
Iggy: I think we should to lie down.
Fang: Why?
Iggy: We're coming down with extremus humiliationus.
Fang: Actually, I'm normal. You're coming down with extremus douche-y-us.
Iggy: That didn't even make sense.
Fang: Whatever. Go away.
Max: Ah, Fang and Iggy. You've embarrassed yourselves so much! I hope this has made you finally learn your lesson on taking my stuff without permission!
Ella: Oh, they've learned their lesson alright. About a hundred times over.
Max: Feel free to leave comments below.
Fly on,
Max and Ella