12.

He didn't know how he'd make it work, but he knew that he would. He was committed to her and to their children more than anything or anyone he'd ever committed himself to before.

Could she see it, he wondered?

In his eyes, could Sam see his determination to walk through whatever hell his emotions dragged him through in order to make a life with her and their children work? He noticed the tension in her body relax a fraction and hoped she could, did see it, and believed it. But he wasn't sure. He wasn't as good at reading her anymore.

Jason sighed.

He took a steadying breath. He needed to tell her, to actually say the words. He couldn't rely on their unspoken connection anymore, not after all he'd done to sever it. "Sam, I ..."

"So, did Hope ever get her party?" She cut him off with the first question that came to mind, before he could make promises she wasn't sure she trusted him to keep.

She'd known what he was about to say. She'd seen it in his eyes. They gleamed with determination and another look that scared her now almost as much as it once comforted. She'd seen that look of love and devotion from him before when they were at their strongest, when she thought it impossible for him to ever fail her. Now she knew better and, though his intent pleased her beyond words, it also scared her to think he might fail again despite his best intentions.

She quickly reminded herself it was different this time. That look wasn't for her. It was for his children and if there was anything she still believed in, still trusted, when it came to Jason Morgan it was that he was incapable of failing a child. He would and had always put what he believed to be every child's best interests first, even if it meant sacrificing himself. She shouldn't worry Jason would walk away from Daniel, she reminded herself, because she wasn't Elizabeth. And, after all, Jason had only walked away from Jake at Elizabeth's urging. And even that, going by the nursery upstairs, hadn't kept him away for long.

"What?" His brain stumbled over the redirection of thought.

"Hope's birthday, did she ever get to celebrate? I imagine she wasn't up for it right away, but I hope she still got to have her party." Sam licked her lips and tried not to let on how nervous she still was about ... everything, despite her personal pep-talk.

Why didn't I just let him say what he wanted, she berated herself. How would they make any progress if she stopped him from expressing himself?

"She wanted to wait for you." Hope had told him if her first mom couldn't be there, she wanted to wait until her new mom could. Jason had given her the card and gifts from Bridget on her actual birthday as well as a gift from him, but there had been no party.

Carly thought it would be good to have something happy to distract them all and had done her best to change the little girl's mind about waiting, but Hope stood firm in her desire and Jason had been impressed to see it. There weren't many adults who could deny Carly for long when she really wanted something and he'd never met a child that capable. After lengthy negotiations over ice cream sundaes, Carly had finally huffed in defeat against the determined toddler and proceeded to tell him that, for someone who didn't share a lick of her father's DNA, it was amazing how she'd inherited his stubbornness. He'd had to almost smile at that. Leave it to Carly to find her unyielding match in a three year old.

Sam was touched by Hope's wish to wait for her, but saddened too. Her little girl had waited long enough to be celebrated. She found herself lost in thoughts of a perfect birthday party that had the toddler surrounded by people who made her feel as special as she was.

Jason was lost in thought too as Sam's questions brought to mind those first days with Hope. The lawyer that had helped Bridget win custody of Hope had met them at her hospital bedside that day to begin the steps for the private adoption. Together, the two attorneys ensured all necessary paperwork was executed and promptly filed with the local Department of Children and Families.

Bridget had given legal guardianship to Jason before she died and, despite a sketchy arrest record, the assigned caseworker found no reason to object. Jason had never been convicted of a crime and also held glowing references from upstanding members of his community as a responsible and successful businessman, as well as an amazing uncle and godfather.

Unfortunately, he was unable to leave the state with Hope until the local social services received the go ahead to transfer the case from Massachusetts to the state of New York. So, he and Hope had stayed in Bridget's apartment through Christmas and New Year's to allow Hope time to adjust while Jason began the process of marking items to be moved or donated.

Bridget had no living relatives other than Hope and Rita so, aside from having immediate responsibility for the care of a grieving toddler, Jason was left to handle funeral arrangements for Bridget and to see that her apartment was packed up. He wasn't sure what Hope might like to have of her mother's one day, other than a few items Bridget had specified, so he'd arranged for everything else to be shipped to a storage facility in Port Charles until she was old enough to decide for herself. Hope's things, other than essentials, were boxed and shipped to his penthouse.

Everything had been handled as efficiently as possible. However, due to the holidays, it took nearly two weeks before they received word that the transfer had been accepted thereby allowing their return to New York, and so Jason hadn't been there for Michael or his best friends the night his nephew died. He'd had to learn of that devastating news over the phone, from Robin.

Carly had fallen apart in her mother's arms after hearing Patrick's confirmation minutes before midnight, New Year's Eve. It was her heartbreaking cry for Jason that had Robin calling him to let him know what happened, and that Carly and Sonny needed him. More than that, though, Jason could tell Robin wanted him home so she could be there for him. She'd been a good friend during the trial with Jake and his subsequent losses, as good a friend as he would let her be anyway.

It was still hard, at that point, to let anyone that wasn't Sam get through his walls, but Hope had already started to change that.

That little girl broke through all his defenses from the moment he'd laid eyes on her again. The hopeful yet timid trust in which she regarded him left him with no choice other than to love her with his whole heart and do anything if it meant doing right by her, whether it was easy or not because that was what he'd promised Bridget and himself. He would always love Hope and do right by her and part of that meant allowing loved ones into his life more, for Hope's sake, and not shutting everyone out despite his grief. So he had, because he wanted his daughter surrounded in love, and he was relieved to have kept his promises to and for her so far.

"We shouldn't make her wait any longer." Sam said suddenly, pulling Jason from his thoughts.

"It's okay Sam. She's just happy to have you here. We can wait until your mom is better."

"I know and I'd love for my mom to be there, but that's the thing. Time is precious, Jason, and I don't want to waste another minute with Hope. I want her to have the birthday party I promised Bridget I would give her." Sam said.

"I guess it couldn't hurt to start planning." He wanted his little girl to have a party too if that's what she wanted, but he knew Sam had a lot going on at the moment and he didn't want her stressing herself out. It really wouldn't hurt to wait a few weeks, at least.

"We should include Hope in some of the decisions." Sam suggested, excited at the prospect of putting a smile on her daughter's face.

Jason agreed. "You two should plan it together. It'll be a good way for you to bond." Plus, he never was big on parties and even less enthusiastic over the planning of one.

Sam eyed him with playful suspicion. "Don't even think of trying to get out of your daughter's birthday party."

"Never," He half-smiled. "There are three ladies on this earth I'd never dream of standing up and Hope is definitely one of them." Jason's raised spirits fell as he thought of the others. "Two now." Emily had been the third. To count Carly would have been a lie because he'd dreamed countless times up standing her up. Not that he actually ever had, but he'd dreamed of it.

She watched his expression sadden and knew he must be thinking of his sister. She wished they were still close enough that she could comfort him, but wasn't sure he would accept it or if she would send a wrong message if she tried. Sam wasn't used to having to maintain boundaries with Jason. They'd always shared everything of themselves with one another, until the end.

She also found herself wondering who the other one aside from Hope might be, but didn't ask. She was afraid to hear the answer, afraid she already knew from the brief look that had flashed in his eyes. She shook it off. She had to be imagining things. She'd left him and kept his son from him. His feelings toward her were probably closer to hate than love and she refused to give thought to any fine line between.

Jason shifted in his seat and tried to clear his head. His emotions were all over the place. He wanted nothing more than to hold Sam and never let go in one minute and berate her in the next. He fought confusion and anger, recalling he had a son he'd known nothing about until only minutes ago. Would he have ever known his child if Alexis hadn't been seriously injured, forcing Sam to return? In her letter to him, she'd been so against Elizabeth keeping Jake from him. How could Sam turn around and do the same thing? Was it the same? He didn't know.

He was angry at missing out on so much; seeing Sam's stomach grow and swell with their child, hearing their child's heartbeat for the very first time, holding Sam's hand when they learned they were having a boy and feeling his first kicks and hiccups the way he had when Sam carried Lila. He wasn't there to help Sam bring their baby into the world, to cut the cord or to witness his son take his first breath. He'd missed all of that and he felt cheated, but he knew he was more than a little at fault for it too.

Still, that didn't stop the anger from festering; anger at himself, at the situation and at Sam too as illogical as that might be depending on what she had to say about it. He still didn't know anything for sure and he owed her the chance to explain before he decided on any of his feelings. Some might say she didn't owe him anything considering how he'd handled things with Jake, but Daniel was his son. If nothing else, he at least had a right to know he had a child. He'd told Sam the same thing when she'd been pregnant with Sonny's child and that belief hadn't changed.

There was still much to be resolved and answered regarding Hope, but she could sense the change in Jason and knew he was ready to have some of his questions about Danny answered now too. He had a son he knew nothing about; not even the day he was born. He wouldn't even know when to celebrate his son's birthday.

"I'd like to tell you about Daniel now." Sam began.

Jason could only nod and swallow hard, unable to trust his self not to reveal any of the warring emotions if he spoke.

"The first thing you should know is that I never intended to keep your son away from you, Jason, never! From the minute I found out I was pregnant, there was never any question that I wanted our baby to know you as his dad." Sam didn't want him to think for a second she doubted her faith in him as a father.

"Then why didn't you tell me you were pregnant, Sam? Why didn't you let me be there for his birth?" His voice choked closed with emotion before he could say more.

"There were several reasons, but the main reason was safety." Sam answered and immediately regretted that choice of words as she saw the hurt fill his eyes. "Not like that, Jason. I've never doubted your ability to keep your loved ones safe. You know that. This was about us and the way we left things. It was a miracle I was able to carry to near term. Dr. Lee wasn't wrong about that. My pregnancy was extremely high risk and with the stress between us at the time, I just couldn't risk it. Even with no stress and following all of the doctor's orders, there were still no guarantees. I almost lost him twice and I just, I wanted to spare you that pain and worry if I could. I wanted to wait until our baby was here, and safe, and healthy and then put him in your arms." He could tell Sam wanted desperately for him to understand, to believe her, and he did.

When he looked in her eyes, he had no doubt she meant every word. But he was still hurt and he was still angry. He still felt cheated and he still wanted to rage. But he didn't want to say something in anger he couldn't take back and may not even mean, so he simply nodded his understanding.

"When ..." He swallowed. He couldn't finish his question.

"When was he born, when did I find out or when was he conceived?" Sam said in effort to help him. She could see he was struggling.

"Yes." He answered simply and she would have laughed if the pleading look on his face wasn't so heartbreaking.

"Last April, the night you and Sonny were almost killed in that ambush with Alcazar." Her voice softened at the tender memory. She didn't have to say any more for him to know that was the night their son was conceived. Things had been strained between them, but that night they were reminded just how lucky they were to be alive and to have each other. They'd made love all night and had finally fallen asleep clinging to one another as if afraid to lose the connection they'd found after weeks of emotional distance.

How ironic was it that, in a way, Alcazar had a hand in both of their children's existence, Jason thought. Lorenzo had found Bridget in labor during the blizzard and delivered Hope, and his act of violence last April was what pushed him and Sam to let go of their troubles long enough to make love, to make a baby. Who knows, Jason considered, maybe if he hadn't been arrested for Alcazar's murder he'd have found Sam sooner and the stressful reunion may have caused her to lose their child before they even knew about him. Maybe it was some kind of screwed up karmic balance since Alcazar had been the cause of him losing his baby with Courtney.

"I didn't find out until a few weeks after I arrived in Australia. I took a spot on the crew of a cargo ship the night I left here and that's where I ended up."

"Port of Brisbane," Jason mumbled and Sam nodded. "I looked for you there." Jason told her as his eyes drifted off. "I should have looked harder." His last remark was almost a whisper.

Any anger in his demeanor had clearly given way to hurt now and Sam just wanted to comfort him. It was so conflicting. She was still angry with him for how he'd treated her, but it still hurt to see him hurt and his words reminded her of how he'd told her he never stopped looking for her and now she knew why he hadn't been there the day she stepped off that freighter the way she'd once wished he would have.

"Jason, I didn't know you were arrested and held for Alcazar's murder. I didn't know about the trial or Emily or Michael or any of it until yesterday. If I had known, I would have been here if I could." Sam swore to him and Jason nodded, unable to hold her gaze.

He believed her, but it wouldn't do any good to tell her just how inadequate those words left him in light of everything now. The emotions coursing through him were his problem and he needed to deal with them without pulling her into it, so he stated the obvious rather than his actual thoughts and feelings in that moment just to break the awkward silence and avoid pushing her further away. "It was probably for the best. The stress wouldn't have been good for you or the baby."

He'd meant what he said, but there was no emotion behind the words. He held those on a tight leash because if he let go, even in the slightest, he wasn't sure he could stop until he'd said too much.

Sam huffed at his words, drawing his reluctant gaze back to her. "Apparently you aren't the only one to think so. Jax and my mom both knew and they kept it from me. They were so supportive throughout my pregnancy, but they kept a lot from me and I'm still not comfortable with that."

"They probably didn't want to worry you. It sounds like they were looking out for you." That was painful for Jason to say, but Sam would have never known it. His voice was as devoid of feeling now as his heart had often been accused.

He'd reverted to his stone cold survival mode because Jason didn't want to think of another man looking out for the woman he loved or their child. He should have been the one looking out for them. Guilt and anger swirled in his gut, rising like bile, but he choked it back down. He had a tight grip on his emotions and he couldn't afford to let that slip. It could cost him any chance he might have left with Sam, even if it was less of a relationship than he wanted with her.

Although his defense of Jax and Alexis surprised her, it wasn't so much the words he'd spoken that put her senses on high alert. It was the voice in which he'd said them. Sam twisted her body toward her ex-fiance to study him from where she sat. She noted the cool facade that fell over him now, the detached voice, enigmatic expression, controlled breathing, the blinking, the staring and the stillness of everything else on him. She wasn't speaking with Jason Morgan any longer. He was now Stone Cold and Stone Cold had no business speaking to her about the children she shared with Jason.

"You're holding back." It wasn't a question. It was a statement, a condemnation, and Jason knew it. Sam was done holding back, no more filtering. That was what led to their problems in the first place.

He breathed deep and thought better of his actions. Hadn't this been what he'd done the last time they'd talked before she walked out? He'd closed himself off and filtered his responses and she'd seen through it then as clearly as now. He'd once again committed himself to doing whatever it took not ten minutes ago and yet he was already shutting part of himself down.

He knew he had to do something different, but he still wasn't great at balancing the stronger emotions and there were no stronger emotions for him than when it came to Sam. It had always been all or none with him, but that wouldn't fly this time or ever again. It was past time he learned to do better.

He took another deep breath and went for it, allowing the pain and uncertainty he felt at that moment to show. "What do you want me to say Sam? It hurts. I feel cheated. Would you rather I blow up about it?"

"If that's what it takes to get you to be honest, yes! We need to work this out so we can work together for the kids, and to do that we need to be real with each other." Sam insisted, allowing her annoyance and frustration to show.

"Why do you care, Sam?" He couldn't hold back a slight edge of bitterness in his tone as the glare of her wedding ring hit his eye. Why'd the damn thing have to be so shiny anyway? "It's not like we're together anymore. How I feel shouldn't matter to you."

Sam shook her head as a disgusting sigh escaped. What an asinine thing for him to say! "It matters if you're harboring your emotions and letting them eat away at you! Our children will pick up on that, and they'll pick up on any tension between us as well. We need to work through it!"

"Fine!" Jason shot up from his seat as his voice rose. He couldn't sit still and he began to pace. "I'm angry Sam! I'm pissed off that I missed out on so much with you and our baby, that another man got to be and do all the things I would have done if I hadn't been lied to about my son! But I guess I should be happy now since you can finally relate to what I did." He scoffed with an incredulous shake of his head and felt some of his anger dissipate at the thought. "You lied to keep your son safe just like I did for Jake."

Now Sam was the one squirming in her seat. "What? This isn't the same at all. I always intended to tell you about Danny. You never intended to tell me about Jake! And how, exactly, would telling me about Jake have endangered him anyway? The danger our stressful relationship imposed on my pregnancy was a very real threat, Jason! I was never a threat to your son and the fact that you think otherwise ..." She clenched her jaw and refused to cry. She was hurt, but she was angry too and she embraced it to keep the tears at bay.

Jason held Sam's dark and defiant gaze, his tone softer but as resolute as ever. "I never thought you were a threat to any child's safety, and especially not mine. I was the threat, and I feared telling you would not only hurt you but give me the excuse I wanted to change my mind. But I never doubted you would have loved him. As for our intentions, I don't really see a difference. I mean, I may have been wrong to lie and you may have been right, but the results are the same in the end. We were both hurt by the lie regardless of how long it was kept. We were both just trying not to hurt each other, so how could I judge you?" Jason shook his head and sat back on the sofa, deflated and at somewhat of a loss. "I can't. I can't judge you and I don't blame you either, even though ..."

"Even though, what?" Sam wanted to know and then realized she already did because she'd felt it too. "Even though you wish you could."

Jason nodded. "I know I'm the one at fault, but what I lost because of it, it's a steep punishment to take."

Sam sighed, feeling for him and relating to him more than she wanted. "I'm sorry Jason, but not for doing what was best for our baby. I'd do it again if it meant keeping him safe, but I am sorry my decision hurt you. I didn't do this to punish you."

"I know. I know you didn't and I didn't lie to you to punish you either, but I bet it felt like I did when you found out." Jason hedged.

Sam nodded. Part of her had felt that way, like Jason hadn't truly forgiven her and was punishing her for being with Ric. Even after she'd overheard Jason talking about it with Spin and knew his real reasoning, it took a while for her to truly believe at least part of it wasn't about punishing her.

"I understand why you didn't tell me. In my head, it makes sense." Jason told her. "I guess it's just taking my emotions longer to catch up."

Sam could understand that. It had been the same for her and she still wasn't sure her emotions were all caught up. She figured that was due to the fact they'd never really talked about what happened with Elizabeth and Jake. He'd just given her the perfect opportunity to address it, but it probably wasn't a good idea to get into that any further with the kids sleeping right upstairs.

"When was he born?" He realized in the silence that they'd been sidetracked by his emotions and she hadn't answered that question yet. He wanted to know more about his son. He wanted to know everything about him.

"Three minutes after midnight on New Year's Day," Sam smiled sadly as his eyes registered the significance. She'd learned from Robin that Michael had died only a few hours before Daniel was born. Jason had lost one son and gained another almost the same day. Some might see it as a cruel twist of fate, but she would never see her child with Jason as anything but a miracle, the best gift she'd ever received.

Jason sat in silence for a moment just taking it all in. At the same time he'd sat doubting God's love for taking the boy he'd loved as a son away from him, he'd been blessed with a miracle.

"I struggled during the entire pregnancy with whether or not to call you so you could be there for the delivery. I finally decided I would, but then I went into labor earlier than the planned c-section and everything was happening so fast. I was afraid ... There were complications and I was unconscious for a while afterward." Sam confessed.

Jason's heart dropped at hearing how similar her second labor sounded to her first. He could have lost them both. "Was it the same as before? Are you okay now? Is Danny?"

"Danny is perfect. He was a week early, but he's a perfectly healthy three week old now. It wasn't a placental abruption. Your son was just impatient. Danny was never in danger during labor, but they were unable to stop my bleeding after delivery. There was a problem with it clotting again like before, but I'm fine now too." She watched, touched, as his body visibly relaxed at her assurances.

Her mother and Jax had made sure she and her baby had the best care money could buy and she was certain that was the only reason her womb was still intact. There was still hope one day she might have another child should she decide to go through with a new reconstructive procedure her doctor informed her about. By the time she was ready to have another child, her doctor had told her, the procedure should have been perfected.

"I wish I had been there." His son had been left without a mother or father to look out for him and from the sound of it Sam had almost died.

"I know, but Jax was there and I'm just so thankful he was. He cared for Danny until I was able to." Sam didn't fail to notice the way Jason's jaw clenched at that news.

"He was just respecting my wishes, Jason. I wanted you there for the delivery, but when I went into labor early I got scared history might repeat itself and I just couldn't do that to you again. I told Jax unless I didn't make it or unless the baby needed consent I was unable to give that I wanted to be the one to tell you about our son. Fortunately, I did make it and our son was born the picture of health." She knew Jason still felt cheated and she couldn't blame him really, but there was nothing to be done about it now and so she just wanted to help him focus on the positives. They were both there now, alive and well.

"I'm glad you're both alright." He knew he should focus on what was most important, but it was hard not to still feel the darker emotions too.

"I owe you and our son an apology."

"You already apologized for ..."

"Not for that, for the way I reacted when you told me Danny is ours. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was rejecting him or didn't want it to be true. I've never wanted anything to be true more than that."

Sam could tell he was telling the truth and that only made her even more puzzled by his reaction. "I know it had to come as a shock, especially given the way I kind of just blurted it out. It just seemed like there was more to it."

"There was."

"What was it, Jason?" Her voice was so full of compassion it nearly brought tears to his eyes thinking of all he'd thrown away, of all he'd lost when he lost her. No one had ever loved him better.

He swallowed hard and took a deep breath, determined to be as honest with her as he could, but it was still so hard to talk about. He tried to find a way to explain it so she could understand. "You remember the time we broke into Alcazar's looking for evidence, and we found Skye's baby instead?"

Sam wasn't sure how that had anything to do with them now, but she nodded and remained silent allowing him to get it out in whatever roundabout way he needed. She could see him struggling with every word.

"The baby started to fuss and you picked her up to comfort her, but then ..." Jason swallowed again. His mouth had gone dry as if it, too, rebelled at the thought of speaking of it. He forced himself to continue. "But then, when you looked at her, you, you remembered our Lila and you just froze. You froze and begged me to take the baby."

Understanding dawned. "Is that what happened with you? Did holding Danny remind you of Michael?" Tears pooled in Jason's eyes and Sam's heart went out to him.

"Not just Michael. Jake too." Jason's words were spoken in nothing more than a harsh whisper as if his voice had been rubbed raw from the pain that so obviously embodied him now, and it frightened Sam to see him that way. Few things ever left Jason Morgan that vulnerable.

She considered his words and the intensity of his emotions. She thought of the empty nursery upstairs that looked practically untouched and flashed to her daughter's nursery, the one she never got a chance to use. "Where is Jake, Jason? I saw the nursery earlier when I put Hope down. Where is Jake? Why don't you use his nursery anymore?"

Her voice was almost desperate, her eyes pleading with him and he couldn't take it. He couldn't bear to look in her eyes and admit how he'd failed his baby boy. He stood up and started for the fireplace to put some distance between them. He didn't deserve her comfort, not when all she'd ever done was to try to do right by him and his son and he'd shut her out for it.

"He's gone." He still couldn't bear to say the words, that Jake was dead. He could barely stand to think them, let alone say them out loud.

"What do you mean? Did Elizabeth take him? Did they move away?" Sam turned to watch him as he turned from the fireplace and stood before the doors at the terrace, looking out.

"No." Jason sighed. He'd always been so direct and straightforward when he spoke, but he found this outcome hard to formulate so concisely so he started from a place that felt easier to speak about in an attempt to work his way up to the part that wasn't. "About a week after you left, Jake was kidnapped."

He closed his eyes to Sam's audible gasp and breathed deep. He didn't want her to pity him. He just wanted to explain it the only way he felt able.

"Oh my God, Jason, I'm so sorry! Is he still missing?"

"Lucky found him a few days later. He was taken by a woman who'd just lost her own baby in a house fire. Jake was returned safe, but that is what made me finally understand what you'd said to me in your letter about danger being inevitable and how important it is for a child to know their parent's love before it's too late. I was still locked up and facing murder charges against Alcazar, but I swore to myself if I made it out I would do whatever it took to do right by you and Jake." Jason rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. He had failed them both. It was too late to do right by Jake and now Sam was married to someone else and it was too late to do right by her too, in the way he'd hoped anyway.

Sam sat silent. She wasn't sure what to think or feel about his revelation of wanting to do right by her and his son so soon after she'd left or of what the kidnapping had to do with Jake being gone if he'd been returned safe and sound. It wasn't like Jason to take an indirect approach. That was more like her, and while he used to take pleasure teasing her about it and she'd laughed right along with him, there was nothing funny about him acting so out of character. It actually kind of scared her. Not for herself, but for him.

"I began to make good on that promise right away. The day I was found not guilty and set free, I had Diane file for joint custody of Jake and I followed up on Spinelli's leads to find you. Lucky had learned the truth by then and decided to stick with Elizabeth to better their chances in the custody suit. It worked. Full physical and legal custody was given to Elizabeth, but I was granted a few hours visitation each week and a chance for reevaluation in six months time." Jason sat against the edge of the pool table with his hands clutching the side. He still couldn't bring himself to look at her as he revealed his shortcomings, his failures.

"I'm surprised I didn't hear about it. Not that I made any effort to keep up with the news in Port Charles after I left, but I can't believe Maxie never said anything even if Alexis didn't." Sam said.

"Don't blame your mom, Sam. She was bound by client confidentiality and Maxie wouldn't have known. I had Diane move for a change of venue and issue a gag order to protect Jake in case it turned out the way it did. Without legal custody, I wasn't allowed to have a say in Jake's security which meant no guards. I couldn't risk claiming Jake as my son if I wasn't able to protect him." He explained.

"What do you mean client confidentiality? My mother fought against you for custody of your son?" Sam was shocked even though she shouldn't be and definitely pissed.

How could her mother keep Jason from his son knowing how much she wanted Jason to have the chance to be a father? It was bad enough Alexis tried to persuade her not to tell Jason about Danny before he was born, but now she also helped take Jake away too. Alexis' convictions were so strong that it made her turn around that much more confusing to Sam. Alexis had practically begged for Sam to call Jason right away to discuss their child. At the time, she'd assumed that child had been Danny. But now she knew her mother must also know about Hope. Had Alexis had a change of heart regarding Jason's ability to be a good father, or did she intend to help Sam take Hope away from Jason too? Her mother needed to get better quick. They had a lot to talk about.

"Lucky and Elizabeth hired her knowing how she'd fought against Sonny being in Kristina's life. I don't blame her for doing her job. If it hadn't been her, it would have been someone else." He and Alexis had actually come to an understanding in the last couple weeks. They'd agreed to put the past behind them for the sake of Hope and Sam. Jason had hoped it meant she intended to get word to Sam about their daughter. He was usually a good read of people and that had been his read on Alexis, but then weeks went by and nothing. Now that he knew about Sam's health issues, he figured Alexis must have been waiting for Sam to deliver and recuperate before telling her.

"Well I do care, Jason. At least then I'd be pissed at someone else and not my mother!" Sam couldn't believe how easily he let Alexis off the hook.

"She only did what she felt was right at the time and I agreed with her at one point. We've moved past that now anyway. She's actually been really supportive of my relationship with Hope since she found out." Jason found himself drawn closer to Sam as he spoke. Wanting to ease her distress, he moved to sit with her again on the sofa.

Sam sighed. So it was true. Her mother had known about Hope and kept it from her. She had mixed feelings over that, because while it angered her she also knew her mother's omission came from a place of love and concern for her daughter and grandchild. These people she loved really needed to stop doing this to her.

"Really?" Sam was relieved to hear it was a change of heart in Alexis and not some plot to take Jason's children away from him. She suddenly felt guilty for nearly condemning her mother when she wasn't there to defend herself. Please wake up soon, mom, she prayed. Their journey as mother and daughter couldn't be over yet. They still had so far to go.

"Yeah, I think she planned to tell you about Hope. She said she had no doubt you'd want to be her mom and that she couldn't wait to be a grandma. That was right before she threatened to take me out if I ever referred to her as the g word." Jason mused and was happy to see his recollection brought a smile to Sam's face, even though it was bittersweet.

"She's got to wake up. She never even had the chance to meet Danny." Sam said.

"She will. She's a survivor, just like you." Jason consoled her. He wished he could hold her.

"Thanks." Sam bit her bottom lip. Their conversation had taken an awkward turn. Here Jason was freely comforting her when she'd been reluctant to do the same for him moments ago.

"I'm sorry. We were talking about Jake." Sam needed to know what happened to his son and distract her mind and her heart from the thoughts and feelings Jason evoked when he treated her as if he might still love her.

Jason's jaw clenched. He swallowed hard and nodded. "My visitation with Jake started after the court ruling in early September. I got to have him for four hours, four times a week. The last time was Thanksgiving. We spent it at the Quartermaine's." He shrugged, his eyes focused far off. "It seemed like the right thing to do after all they'd lost."

"I'm glad you told them about Jake. Edward must have been thrilled and I see the way Monica adores Hope. I'm sure she loves Jake the same."

"She did." Jason glanced at Sam as he said that and could see the question in her eyes.

"Lucky had to work, but Elizabeth was off the day after Thanksgiving. She wanted to catch a few early morning sales for Christmas so she let the boys spend Thanksgiving night at her grandmother's. She called me to let me know I could pick Jake up from Audrey's for my visitation that day. I knocked when I got there and rang the bell, but there was no answer. I saw Audrey's car in the drive and called Elizabeth who said the boys were still there and that they should be at home, but Audrey wasn't answering the house phone or her cell. Elizabeth was concerned and I got a bad feeling. She told me where to find the spare key and I let myself in, but it was too late."

"No. Oh Jason," Sam prayed what she already knew in her gut wasn't true. He couldn't have lost Jake too.

"Carbon monoxide, paramedics said. Audrey recovered, but Cam's on life support. The doctors say there isn't anything more they can do for him, but Elizabeth isn't able to let go. They said, they said Jake was just too little. He didn't make it." That was it. He couldn't talk about it anymore. He closed his eyes and prayed for the final vision of his deceased son in that crib to stop haunting him.

He opened his eyes when he felt her hand on his. She'd moved closer, tears in her eyes, as she pulled him into a hug. "I'm so sorry." She whispered as he closed his arms around her and never wanted to let go.

He reveled in the feel of her, but refused to allow himself to really let go. She was so good to him, even now, when he didn't deserve it.

Jason allowed the hug to linger a moment longer and then forced himself to pull back. Sam held Jason's gaze as their physical contact ended. She ignored how hard it was to let go of him. Things were different now, but she still wanted to help him. He'd been there for her after her daughter died and she wanted to help him too. "I want to help you."

Jason took a steadying breath. It was so hard not to take her up on that offer, but he would never use his grief to ingratiate his way back into her life. "You have. You kept our son safe and allowed me to share in his life."

"I know it won't be easy, but we'll figure out a way to raise our children together." Sam promised.

Jason nodded and took another deep breath. "We can work out a schedule."

He rubbed his hands over his denim-clad thighs to keep from reaching out for her.

"That sounds good. I think it'll help Hope feel more secure if she has a set schedule." Sam agreed, recalling her conversation with Jax the previous night.

Minutes passed, and as they allowed their heightened emotions to settle, Jason and Sam filled one another in on Hope and Danny's daily routines. They even managed to work out a rough schedule to be tweaked as needed for the time Sam remained in Port Charles. Of course, new arrangements would need to be made once Sam returned to Hawaii, but they agreed to defer that conversation until Alexis was better. Jason hoped Sam might change her mind by then and stay in Port Charles, but Sam wasn't sure what she might do now and needed time to think it over.

Sam was pleased with the progress they'd made in figuring things out for their kids. They would start slow, with their little girl spending just a few hours at a time during the day with Sam until Hope felt more comfortable. Daniel would spend those hours with Jason which worked out well since he was still too young to be away from his mother for long. They also arranged times during the week for each of them to have both children at once so Hope and Daniel could bond as sister and brother.

There was a lull in conversation and so Jason offered to get drinks for them while Sam went upstairs to check on Daniel. His emotions had been all over the place today, but he and Sam had made a lot of progress and he felt good about it. He'd pushed through and been honest when he felt himself shutting down. He'd kept his anger in control and prevented any blow ups that might set them back. He may never have Sam for his wife, but he missed their friendship and he hoped to get that part back at the very least. They still had a long way to go, but today's talk felt like a step in the right direction and he took comfort in that.

Jason sat on the sofa with their drinks on the coffee table in front of him as Sam descended the stairs. He turned to see she had Daniel in her arms and his heart raced at the sight. He wanted to hold his son. He just hoped the panic wouldn't hit again.

Sam gave him a warm smile as she moved to sit next to him on the couch. She sat closer than before to allow Jason to get a good look without forcing him to hold Danny before he was ready. She held their baby up so he could see his father. "Danny, this is your daddy. Daddy, say hello to your son, Daniel John Morgan."

"Hi son." Jason placed his large hand over Daniel's chest and felt his little heart beat against his palm. This was the child he'd created with the love of his life and he was alive and well. He swallowed the lump in his throat at the thought.

"Morgan, I thought ..." Jason murmured as he gazed at his son. He was surprised yet thrilled to hear Sam had given Daniel his last name.

"He's your son, Jason, not Jax' and his birth certificate reflects that. You are the father of record and will be in every other way that counts. There has never been any confusion about that with me or with Jax, and there never will be with Danny either." Sam was happy that Daniel's proper surname was already listed on his birth certificate along with Jason's name as father. A signed affidavit from the father of record wasn't required in the state of Hawaii. Although, the law stipulated that any certificate of birth without a signed affidavit gave the father listed the right to challenge it. But Sam knew that would never be an issue. Jason would take one look at their son and know who he belonged to.

"I know why you chose Daniel and I'm glad, but why John? Wasn't that Jax'..."

"Jax' father, yes. Jason, Jax was an amazing friend to me when I needed one. I don't know how I would have made it through my pregnancy without him. There was some unresolved bad history between us regarding his dad, and honoring him ..." Sam shrugged. "It just felt like the right way to help make amends."

Jason nodded in understanding.

"I should probably also mention that I chose Jax to be Daniel's sort of unofficial godfather. I wanted to wait until you met Danny before we talked about baptism. I've never been a very religious person, but I know you may have stronger feelings on that and I'm okay with it if you do. I just ..." Sam trailed off.

"Thank you." Jason told her without looking at her. The actions Sam took to ensure his rights as Daniel's father and include him in the important decisions in his life meant everything to him, but for the first time in his life since Sam entered it he found his eyes drawn to someone else instead. He just couldn't take his eyes off their son.

He lifted his index finger from the tiny chest and Danny's fingers curled around his larger one. "He's perfect." Jason smiled, a real smile.

"I think so." Sam smiled back unnoticed then looked down at Danny who seemed to be staring at his father just as intently as his father stared at him. "You want to hold him?"

Jason glanced at Sam then back at Danny and nodded as Sam began to hand him over. "Stay, stay close. Okay?"

"I'm right here, right by your side." Sam assured. "You've got him. You're fine. You're both fine."

Jason let out a pent up sigh full of nerves and felt himself relax as he stared, mesmerized, by the miracle Sam had given him. His heart was so full of love for her and the tiny being they'd created together he could hardly contain it. He wanted to thank her again, over and over, but he didn't even know how to begin to thank her for such a gift. So, he just sat there, quiet and full of love for the both of them and vowed he would find a way to do right by them this time. His family deserved nothing less.

Page 18 of 18 Created: 2013-08-05 Updated: 2016-06-05 Words: 8424 Characters: 44365