SOOOOOOOO sorry for the long wait guys! Life's been a cluster fuck of stress and one measly chapter got in the way and that's actually spawned an extra chapter…this one. Serves me right for trying to write with any kind of plan. Never posting a story again until it's complete. In my defense, I've never made you folks wait long before, so I'll hope you can forgive me. This story has gotten away from me, but I'm trying to take care of as many dynamics as possible…hence, this chapter. Then…the one that caused the huge, posting time lapse that I hate beyond the telling of.

CHAPTER FIVE:

Derek leaned against a large pine along the perimeter of the grounds halfway between camp and the dock. He watched as Reid sat at the end of that very dock pretending to be reading some book he'd packed for the trip, painfully aware the kid hadn't so much as flipped a page in fifteen minutes. He let out a long sigh and shook his head wishing his courage and their near decade-long friendship would give him the strength to muster the right words. Hell, any words at this point. He just wanted his best friend back but every time he resolved to go speak to him, that hurt expression flickered into his minds-eye, much the same as the fire that had illuminated it the night before.

"Aww. If boy genius had a little fishing poll I could take a snap shot of him and write 'Wish You Were Here' on the back." Garcia cooed as Derek managed to keep from jumping at the sudden intrusion of his brooding state.

"Hey baby girl. Kevin."

"What, I don't get a cute nick name?" Kevin huffed tersely.

"Oh, I could think of a few." Derek said with a quirk of his brow.

"Wow. He looks glum. Have you tried talking to him?" Garcia cut in, oblivious to the hackles rising between her boys.

"Not really. I'm at a loss, and I doubt the Hallmark card selection for 'Sorry I Was Such a Colossal Dick' has been created yet."

"Aww, sweetie, just go talk to him. If you want, Kevin and I could block his escape. And you can shove your keys down your own pants this time just in case. He'll have no choice but to hear you out." She giggled. "Unless he really is up for some fishing." She considered a bit too happily.

"I'm surprised he hasn't hotwired a car yet. GOD! I really am an asshole." Derek said with clenched fists.

"Honey, just go try. That might be all it takes."

Derek thought about it for a few moments and realized that any momentum he'd been building was now gone and he needed time to think.

"In a while. I need to figure out what I'm going to say. I don't wanna make things worse."

"Okay. Alright. I'll go. He looks like he could use an ally. I'll soften him up for ya." She winked, then squeezed both men's biceps before walking down toward the dock.

"Well, I guess I'll go see Will about-" Kevin started, turning away.

"Hey man, we're cool right?"

"Huh? Uh, yeah. Sure."

"Really? Because you still seem pretty uncomfortable when Penelope and I interact."

"Nah. It's fine. I've long since come to terms with the fact that you two have a long-standing friendship and very…obvious…close…flirty…borderline, questionable bond that seems to work for the two of you…"

He trailed off as Morgan waited for him to continue and Kevin seemed to be considering something. After a long, awkward stretch of silence, the computer wiz turned very suddenly to Morgan with a look in his eye that he assumed meant business.

"Look, I may not be some delectable side of grade 'A' beef, I mean, let's face it, you're filet mignon and I'm closer to meat loaf. But where I may not last two seconds in a physical confrontation with a man of your admittedly, impressive physical size and considerable ass-whooping capabilities, make no mistake, I would NEVER let someone like her go without a fight." He declared almost desperately.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Listen, Kevin," Derek said, placing a hand on Kevin's shoulder. "I love that girl. She's a sweetheart. She's one of a kind. She's beautiful inside and out and amazing as hell…"

"I knew it you…cad! Put 'em up!" He shrieked, hopping into a stance reminiscent to Derek of a poy-bellied Meerkat on crack.

"And she's yours." He said with a stern sincerity that caught the tech geek's attention. "I wouldn't have it any other way. For all the flirting, we don't see each other in that light. We just like to kid around because that's our thing. When she looks at me, I see a familial love. When she looks at you though, I see something in her glow. Like how my mom used to look at my dad. I swear to you Kevin. I am the last person that would ever get in the way of that. I just want her happy and you…you make her happy."

Kevin stopped and stared into the distance after Penny for a time, eyes glistening and glazing all at once. Then they narrowed and shifted back to Derek.

"Is this some kind of nefarious, Jedi mind trick designed to gain my confidence thereby lowering my guard and giving you ample opportunity to strike out your competition, all the while hypnotizing my sweet, perfect Penny-blossom with your tight, rippling, man boobs, washboard abs and dazzling, white choppers?"

Derek stared at him for a long moment not even sure what to do with any part of that tirade.

"No." He settled on.

"Well okay then." Kevin smiled and offered a hand to Derek which he accepted in a firm handshake.

Kevin gave him a sheepish look but before he could say whatever was on his mind, Derek's hand tightened.

"That being said, break her heart and I break your legs." Morgan stated flatly.

Kevin didn't shrink back though. He didn't even gulp or look nervous in the slightest and Derek knew this was for not one but two reasons. One, they both knew that if Kevin ever broke Penelope's heart, Derek would be the least of his worries. Two, Kevin would never do anything of the sort. He was well aware of how lucky he was.

"She really looks at me that way?" He asked with a tiny, hopeful smile that reminded Derek of someone he missed dearly.

"What, are you blind man!" He laughed, patting him on the back, leading the way toward camp.

"Actually, without my specs-"

"Save it pookie."

"Pookie?"

"Hey, you wanted a cute nickname."

….

Spencer was sitting there, eyes glued to the poem Annabel Lee in his Complete Tales and Poems by Edgar Allen Poe book, not reading a word. He felt so…lost. He barely fumbled to catch the book from slipping out of his hands dangerously close to the water when he heard her voice.

"Ah, but we loved with a love that was more than love." Garcia quoted dramatically as Reid glared.

"Can I help you?"

"Wouldst his majesty allow thy lady passage to his kingdom by the sea?"

"If you mean to ask if you can sit on this smelly, old dock by the freezing, cold lake, then sure. It's a free country."

"Hm. You were a lot more fun back when you were a convalescent." She said, plopping down beside him.

"And still, I get no cookies." He said with a twitch of a smile.

"Well, where once again I fail to come bearing any baked goods, I do have a bit of advice you can chew on."

"Advice?"

"Yup."

"I wasn't aware I was in need of advising." He stated flippantly.

Reid sighed at the look Garcia shot him and rubbed his eyes, setting his book aside.

"My apologies fair maiden, goddess of all things inconceivable to we mere mortals, and bearer of unsolicited advice, please, do continue." He said with a bow of his head and flick of his wrist.

"Lucky for you, I've chosen to interpret your sarcasm as poorly veiled awe and carry on with my quest." She huffed with her nose in the air and a flip of her hair. "Alright sir stuffy britches, here it is, so listen closely…" She said as he stared at her intently. "Forgive him."

Reid tilted his head as if waiting for more. When no more came, he raised his brows at her almost amusedly.

"That's it? That's what all of this build up was for? "Forgive him"? That's your brilliant advice?"

"Yup."

"Wow Garcia. Just think of what you could do in a campaign for world peace."

"Look mister, you can quip and banter on all you like but the truth of the matter is clear. You're both miserable. He's dying inside over what happened. It's like there're little shame bunnies in his belly nibbling away from the inside out leaving nothing but big 'ole piles of funk dung in their wake."

"Yeeeah…as moving as that visual masterpiece you just painted is, I'm afraid it's just not-"

"Come on Reid! He's an alpha-doofus! They all say stupid things because they're totally clueless as to how to react when their emotions are at stake! Don't hate him because-"

"I could never hate him." Spencer stated softly, eyes darting down to the hands in his lap, body visibly deflating. "He's my best friend Garcia. What he said hurt. A lot. But he was right."

"Oh, sweetheart-"

"Don't get me wrong. I am angry with him. But I'm just as angry with myself. Which only serves to make me angrier." He said with a bitter, breathy laugh. "In the heat of the moment or not, some part of him meant what he said. I did promise him I would back him up. But he's also not really given me many fair opportunities in the past to do so. I'd like to think that I've embraced each one presented, especially after Emily, but apparently he's been keeping score and it just isn't enough." He said grabbing his book and getting to his feet.

"Reid…"

"I used to feel this need to prove myself. But he always seemed to go out of his way to make me feel like it wasn't necessary. Like I was already an equal despite his over-protectiveness. I'm used to people underestimating me. Thinking I'm weak. But to hear him, of all people, direct anything akin to that at me…it just…I'm sorry…I…" Spencer said, voice cracking as he broke away walking briskly up the dock and across the clearing.

Garcia didn't call after him or give chase. She knew he needed time to figure things out. She had faith in their bond and that things would find a way of working themselves out. She had just hoped it would happen sooner rather than later before it had a chance to permanently altar said bond in an unfavorable way.

"And men say women are difficult. Stubborn asses." She grumbled, pitching a stray stone into the water, the small, ripple effect getting her gears turning. She smiled.

….

"Hey Will, how's JJ?" Reid asked, approaching the older man who was stepping from the cabin.

"She's doin' fine. Seems my mama's recipe did the trick. She should be up and around soon. Nothin' a little R 'n' R can't cure. Speakin' of, have you seen Morgan around? I'd like a word with him."

Reid shook his head curtly with a mumbled 'no' as he made to move past him into the cabin.

"Everythin' alright doc?" Will questioned with his warm, trademark smile.

"Yeah. Everything's just fine."

"Listen, I don't pretend to know you all any better than you know one another, and it seems to me when it comes to profilin' you all are a force to be reckoned with. But forgive me for sayin' that when it comes to personal matters, you bunch are about as lame as a pirate with two eye patches."

"Excuse me?"

"My daddy was a prideful man. Took pride in his job, his reputation and everythin' else he did. But it seemed, sometimes, he forgot to look at the bigger picture. That's why I gave up everythin' to be with Jen and Henry. I knew I could go my whole life tryin' to make a career that would rival the one my daddy poured his life into, but bein' everythin' to a town seemed like small potatoes when I could be everythin' to my family. That kind of choice came with sacrifice. But it was mine to make. I had to learn to pick my battles cause I chose my callin' and I support Jenny in hers. I know that given what you all do, time is no guarantee, so I have to let go of a lot of the hurt and hold onto the good cause time spent bein' angry will only buy you future regret. When we love someone, we should try to forgive 'em their short comin's and focus on what it is we love about 'em in the first place. Make warm memories to curl up with in their absence. It may not always seem fair, but people aren't perfect. We all need someone to be the bigger person now and again. Bottom line is, ain't a one of you who wouldn't die in a heartbeat to protect the other. Guess it just seems silly to me that anyone would more readily give their life than their forgiveness."

Reid just stared at Will. He wasn't quite sure what to do with what he'd just heard. It was slightly intrusive but he appreciated the sentiment and wasn't about to make more waves by cutting off the offered hand. But he still needed a little time to digest and everyone meddling wasn't helping.

"I appreciate what you're saying Will. I do. And you make a great point. But I take time to process things. What Morgan said was really hard to take. With our history I-"

"Morgan? I was talkin' about the discord between the whole team over the Emily situation. Hell, I thought you and Morgan were on the same side of the fence. But hey, I've said my piece and I'm grateful to you for hearin' me out. I hope everyone can find a way to patch things up. S'pecially you and Morgan. You two'er like peas in a pod." Will grinned at him with a nod as he made his way down the front steps.

Spencer felt his cheeks heat up a bit but chose to ignore it as he allowed Will's words to roll around in his mind. Maybe he was right. Maybe Garcia was too. Rather than stewing, he should just play nice and make the best of the time they had here and talk things through calmly back at home if the opportunity presented itself. It's not like he himself had never said things in anger he'd later regretted. Yeah. For his own sake and the sake of eliminating some of the tension amongst the team, he would try his best not to let his emotions get the better of him. After all, it was he who'd dragged Morgan here in the first place. Sure. He could do this. Hell, he's had a lot of practice over the years.

….

A couple hours later…

"Listen up everyone, I realize this is a team retreat, but as we all know nothing about this team or the way we function is exactly traditional, so I hadn't planned on any of the traditional "bonding games" usually associated with these things. I'd suspected we would all bond in our own ways. But Garcia…" Hotch began with a less-than-convinced-any-good-could-come-of-what-he-was-about-to-allow tone.

"Took it upon her wonderful, brilliant self to plan a fun, little game for us all to play together." She finished with the enthusiasm her boss was lacking.

A collective groan spread through the group, but Penelope was used to needing to convince her less sparkly teammates of what was good for them.

"Come on kiddies, everyone has been mulling around like a bunch of zombies as if there's anywhere better to be on a weekend than with best friends and family. Excluding Disney Land of course. Now let's make the best of this opportunity!"

"Says the woman who got a full night sleep on a cushy bed in the warm cabin." Rossi mumbled.

"Dave, quit being such a sourpuss. I think it's a sweet gesture on Penelope's part." Lombardi chided.

"Says-another-woman-who-got-a-full-night-sleep-on-a cushy-bed-in-the-warm-cabin." Rossi reiterated.

"Those beds are hardly "cushy" Dave. And the mattresses smell suspiciously of fish and rubber." Penelope amended.

"Before or after you spent the night in them?" Prentiss teased, earning herself a playful smack.

"Thank you for that thought Emily. Doesn't change the fact that Garcia's "fun time" sounds like a recipe for disaster." He added.

"Let's just give it a chance shall we? In the spirit of unity?" Emily requested at Pen's little grumpy face.

"I'm voicing this particular opinion for the sake of that very notion." Rossi argued.

"Dave. If you're going to be a Grumpy Gus, you can just go take a nap in one of those cushy beds you've been coveting." JJ stated with a little smile.

"What? And miss the fireworks when Celia bites it in the sack race? No way."

"Not everyone is so top heavy they would fall over so easily as you Mr. Bobble-head." Lombardi shot.

"Oh, we all know you're lacking up top in more ways than one Celia."

"Guess I'm just your type then huh Dave?"

"Not really fond of bowling pins."

"That why you've had so many strikes?"

"Hmmm, maybe you two should do some of your own bonding exercises back at the cabin?" Morgan suggested with a sly grin and added brow wiggle.

"Not all of us solve our issues with sex Morgan." Lombardi growled.

"Not everyone can when they obviously have a stick wedged so far up…" Rossi started.

"Alright! Before this turns into a one-hundred-and-one-ways-to-get-written-up-for-sexual-harassment-demonstration, I suggest we get started with the real itinerary." Garcia injected, noticing Hotch about ready to blow a gasket and Reid looking a little green.

"Itinerary?" The youngest member asked cautiously.

"Yes, my little Vulcan prince. Itinerary. Some fun game time and possibly a little 'Team Talk' to wrap up the evening." She smiled sweetly, as if that explanation alone should inspire understanding and excitement.

"Wow. Sounds like we're living the dream," Rossi stated and Garcia beamed. "One nightmare at a time." He concluded and her smile fell.

"David Alfanso Rossi, drop the cynicism or I will let a lot more than your unfortunate middle name slip." Penelope threatened.

'ALFANSO?' Prentiss mouthed to JJ and Morgan before slapping a hand over her trap to stifle a giggle, the rest of the group following suit.

Rossi opened his mouth to retort but thought better of it when he saw the look on Hotchner's face, instead choosing to take the higher road.

"Please magnanimous one, do continue with your oh-so brilliantly thought out plan for achieving BAU-nity."

So maybe more like the high road to hell…

"BAU-nity…HA! I get it! That's pretty clever Rossi." Kevin chuckled and Garcia wacked his shoulder.

"Alright friends…and Rossi," She glared half-heatedly. "I have here with me two, fully charged cameras…" She said, digging in a large, canvas bag.

"Uh, Garcia, I don't think that's the kind of bonding Hotch intended when he asked us up here." JJ laughed.

"Get your mind out of the gutter my little woodland nymph. Besides, I would have come far better prepared if I'd had that in mind." She stated with a sly grin. "No, this will not be a special addition of Profilers Gone Wild, although I have to tell you that would be a very intriguing…"

"Intriguing isn't the word I would choose to describe that scenario." Reid mumbled not hiding his grimace.

"Hey, no worries boy genius, I would have just brought a pack of wife-beaters and hosed everyone down for a good ole fashioned wet t-shit contest." She grinned.

"Garcia. Please." Hotch sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"No kidding. Besides, it wouldn't be fair unless we shaved Dave's sweater off first." Lombardi quipped.

"You shave that moustache of yours and I'll consider it." Rossi shot back.

"That was weak David. You're slipping in your old age."

"So is your brazier."

"OKAY! Hello! Are we doing this or what?" Penelope called, waving her arms.

"I'm going with the 'or what' option." Reid said under his breath which Garcia chose to ignore.

"Alright, we're splitting into two groups for a photo scavenger hunt."

Another collective groan and more ignoring on the bubbly blonde's part as she motioned to Kevin and Will and they split the less-than-enthusiastic team members off into two groups.

"Now, earlier today while our sweet JJ was resting, I put her wonderful William and my cuddly Kevin to work on two identical lists of ten things they then put into sealed envelopes, which only their eyes have seen. Each team will get an envelope which they will only open once they are away from the campsite as nothing in said campsite can be used except what is currently on your person. Each challenge listed is worth ten points, and creativity will earn us all extra points. Meaning the most creative team of each challenge will win an additional five points per picture. Both teams have an hour and a half to complete the list. Got it?"

"What incentive do we have to finish at all?" Rossi asked with a smirk.

"Victory hugs?" Garcia smiled sweetly. Everyone just stared at her. She rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine, a case of beer with dinner."

Penelope Garcia felt herself being yanked away by a stampede of suddenly overly-enthusiastic agents.

….

These characters have run amuck in my noggin' and I'm only writing what they tell me to. Ha! That's a total cop out. Also, quite a few people have been frustrated by my lack of smut lately so I've been thinking of upgrading this to an 'M' rating. Tell me what you think! Just keep in mind, it's posted as an M/R story!