Author's Note: Last week I had to take Benadryl for an allergic reaction to spider bites. This is what happened. Complete crack.

He'd seen that smile before. That crazy smile with the eyes and the teeth and the...yeah. It wasn't good.

Which is why Finn Hudson wasn't surprised when he found himself tied to a chair in Rachel Berry's basement. Nevermind the fact that the knots weren't really tight and he could easily slip out of them, what really concerned him was that Rachel and Quinn Fabray were the ones that had gotten him there. Okay, so yeah, he had totally jumped at the idea when Rachel had first said the word 'threesome' because, duh, he's a teenage boy.

But now...totally not what he was picturing.

Rachel and Quinn were both staring at him with ithat look/i on their faces. That scary, creepy, serial killer kind of look. And oddly, both of them looked a little ill. Faces a little pale, raw, red nose...

There was one other thing, though. They were both kind of...well he was pretty sure they were on something. Because all Rachel could do was giggle and Quinn just kind of kept staring. And Rachel was holding a rubber knife.

"Do it," Quinn said, her teeth bared. "Doooooo it."

Finn barely flinched when Rachel poked his chest with the rubber knife, the "blade" bending as it made contact. She tried again and again but obviously, nothing happened.

"Quinn! It's not working!"

"You're doing it wrong."

It was a little scary that Quinn knew where to hold the knife on his throat as she attempted to saw through his skin. It did hurt a little, but Finn was pretty sure it was nothing compared to having an actual knife at his throat.

"There's something wrong with this," Quinn slurred, throwing the knife at the wall. "Your knives are shit, Rachel!"

Rachel didn't respond. When Finn glanced over to her to find out why he saw her curled up on the stage in the basement with a pillow, snoring. Quinn looked back and forth between the two before eventually shrugging and joining Rachel on the stage, spooning behind her. Finn jumped at the opportunity and freed himself from the ropes before either girl could awaken. As he headed up the stairs he ran into Rachel's dads, both with panicked looks.

"Are they down here?" Leroy gasped. "We leave for ten minutes to get more medicine and they disappear!"

"Uh, yeah," Finn said, gesturing down the stairs. "They uh..." he scratched the back of his neck, "they called me to get some stuff off a shelf. Why is Quinn here?"

"Oh thank God," Hiram sighed. "Judy's a good friend of mine and she has business in Cincinnati this weekend. She asked of Quinn could stay here since she came down with mono again. And..." the man looked at Finn sympathetically, "Rachel...she came down soon after."

"Okay," Finn mumbled. He was a little disappointed, yeah. Because with Rachel sick that meant they couldn't really... "Wait, Rachel..."

"We'll leave you to discuss that with her later," Hiram said. "I think you should go home now."

Finn could only nod, intent on getting out of that house as soon as possible not just because he had just found out his girlfriend had cheated on him with his ex-girlfriend but he was really, really afraid that both of them were going to wake up and try to kidnap him. Again. Obviously, they weren't going to stay together. But Finn was pretty alright with that because if Rachel ever got sick again he wasn't sure he wanted to be around if she was able to get a real knife in her possession.