Last week I suddenly felt inspired to write Carlisle's story, and here it is, an additional chapter to the O/S I posted many months ago.

Thank you Malice Slashlover for pre-reading and Sue273 for betaing it. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

Chapter 2

Carlisle POV

I scrunch down against the wall of the small bathroom in Edward's basement and the closer I get to the floor, the more the smell of urine hits my nose. It's Edward's responsibility to clean the bathroom and the small living room down here. I know this because he's often made Jasper and me help him do it in the past. As he used to say, we're making as much mess down here as he does.

Now that we don't hang out here as much as we used to, I guess he's not taking this responsibility so seriously anymore.

Right now, I don't fucking care what odor I smell. All I can think about is the guy on the other side of the door. How the hell can my best friend be gay and I never knew about it? And now he has met someone on the internet – fucking Alec. What kind of stupid name is Alec? I press my knuckles into my eyes and almost welcome the pain it gives me from the stitches. No, I don't want to hurt myself. I want to hurt a stupid guy living in fucking Chicago – I really hate him.

My head is swimming with alcohol and thoughts of Jasper and Alec together. Why am I so jealous? Fuck, I am jealous. No, that can't be it. Why would I be jealous of some guy chatting with my best friend, who just told me he is gay? Jasper likes guys; he likes cocks and flat chests, not big titties and floral perfume. Isn't that what I'm supposed to like? That's what society has told me my whole life; men like women, fuck them and reproduce. That's the way life is.

Of course, I know gay men and women exist, and I don't have a problem with that, but my best friend? Jasper? He's never had a girlfriend and when I try to think about it, I can't remember him talking about girls either. Never, actually. I have never seen him look at them. I've looked though. I have tried so hard to get them to kiss me and let me touch them, just as I'm supposed to, but for some reason they always turn me down. Edward and Jasper laughed at me. Said I should find a friendly girl to tell me how to treat them, what to say to make them like me. Problem is I kind of don't like them myself. How can I be a good enough actor to make them like me, if I don't like them in return?

I want to be brave, like Jasper, to admit to myself that I don't like pussy. I can't seem to get hard thinking about it. I only dream of hard muscles and firm bodies just like Jasper's. Oh, God, Jasper! He's so tall, taller than me even, his blue eyes shine at me, and his smile when he laughs at my jokes ... I'm not really a joker - I'm kind of a serious person, actually. But when I first made Jasper laugh, I had to see it again. I had to search for my comedian gene, buried deep down, polish it and now I'm a fucking master of making his dimples appear. I want to touch them, put my finger into them and trace the lines of his lips, kiss them even.

Fucking Alec! I hate him. I'm sure he can't make Jasper laugh for the life of him, and what kind of relationship can they have over the internet? Not one that matters, for sure.

I get up from the floor, determined to get to the bottom of the relationship between Jasper and Alec. If there is one at all.

"I don't love him," I hear Jasper say when I open the bathroom door and my heart jumps with joy.

"So, you don't love him, you only use him for sex?" I ask him. I have to know this. How far has their relationship gone? The joy in my heart vanishes when Jasper admits they watch each other jerk off. I sit beside Edward, staring at Jasper as his cheeks turn bright red talking about this and I can't help but think of him jerking off, holding his hard cock in his hand, his cheeks red like they are now.

Why oh why haven't I had the courage to admit this to myself before? I like Jasper! I fucking like a boy. I want to be the one to make him come, not Alec and not his own fist. I want it to be my hand, my mouth and, oh, fuck I want him to come on my cock. I stare into Jasper's eyes. "So tell us more about what you do together?"

"Sometimes it's really hot," I hear him say and when he says they stroke their dicks, I feel my own dick coming to life. Sitting in front of Jasper, seeing him staring at me like that so intensely and talking about himself wanking, makes me harder than I've ever been in my entire life.

I become aware of where I am. I'm sitting here together with my two best friends, hard as a rock, and I frantically look around for a pillow to hide it behind.

Jasper's large, sinewy hand is in his hair - it's so soft to touch. I know because I have accidentally felt it a few times. Not on purpose, of course. When his mouth, his perfect lips forms the words 'porn movie', 'blowjob' and 'fucking', all thoughts of where I am disappear from my consciousness and I can only focus on Jasper, how hard I am and that I have to do something about it.

Ah, Jasper stares at my hand in my jeans, and he says he stroked his dick and used his fingers – for what? "Say it out loud," I demand. I need to hear him say what he used his fingers for. Oh, please say it. I can only see Jasper's eyes, his huge, black eyes and I pull my zipper down just as he does and I start to stroke myself. It feels so good. I have this huge pressure in my balls and all I can think of is getting relief, watching Jasper pleasuring himself at the same time.

Breathlessly, Jasper says, "We used our fingers in our assholes. Oh, fuck!" He jerks himself to orgasm just as I come all over my hand in the most mind-blowing release I've ever felt. It takes me several minutes to come back to the present and then I realize that Edward came too as I see him wiping his own cock with a tissue. The image of Edward coming doesn't arouse me at all. It's all Jasper for me, I think. Or maybe it's just some guys? I really have to think this through, and preferably with a clear head, and not clouded by alcohol and Jasper's presence.

I'm his best friend he says. Friend, not anything more. He has several friends he jerks off with now. Edward, me and Alec. But he doesn't love Alec he says, and I'm here lying on the floor, trying to sleep but my brain is wide awake and Jasper's lying on his side, staring at me. I focus on a spot in the ceiling.

My opinion means a lot to him. I'm his best friend, he says. Friend, that is all.

"You are my best friend too," I say, because he really is. He just doesn't know that he is more than a friend to me. Heck, I didn't realize until tonight either, so how can he know?

So am I gay, am I attracted to boys or is it just Jasper that makes me come harder than I've ever done? I have no idea, and I hope he can help me figure this out, so I turn to him. His face is just a few inches away from mine and I whisper to him, "Jasper, I'm so confused!"

He is so close, his cheeks so red and pupils dark. I could just move my hand a tiny fraction and touch his dimple. I know how to make it appear, but I can't seem to come up with a joke right now. He's staring at me so intensely. "What are you confused about, Carlisle?" he whispers, his breath washes over me, beer mingling with the smell of him, and I breathe it in deeply.

I so want to kiss him, not only feel his lips with my finger, I want to touch them with my own lips, taste his tongue and feel him close to me. I reach out and, before I know it, his hair is between my fingers when I see his startled expression. I quickly drag my hand away from him, but his hand snaps up, closing around my wrist and he holds it in a surprisingly tight grip. "What are you confused about, Carlisle?" he asks again, his tone demanding.

"I . . . I think I like you?" I stutter and have trouble meeting his eyes.

A few seconds pass and I have to see his expression, so I glance up at him. His eyes are intense and searching, looking between my eyes at high speed. "You like me?" he asks, not believing what I told him.

"Yeah, I think I do," I mumble.

His eyes turn hard as he accuses me, "Why are you saying this now? Is it because of Alec?"

I shake my head.

"Is it because I told you I'm gay?"

I shake my head again. I have to be honest with him, as honest as I have never been even to myself. "I don't think I really like girls, Jasper. The only person I think I like is you," I whisper to him.

"You think? You're not sure?" He's so demanding. I hadn't come to this conclusion before just now. How can he demand a thought through answer right at this minute?

I sigh deeply, turn my face to the ceiling again. "I'm confused, all right?" I tell him tiredly. "This is so new to me. I'm sorry about being so vague, but I only just realized it tonight," I admit.

"Hey," I hear him say as I feel his hand under my chin, turning my face to him again. His eyes are huge, and filled with warmth, can it be hope? "No, I'm sorry," he says. "I don't mean to pressure you in any way. I know I just dumped this me-being-gay-thing in your lap a few hours ago. I had never dreamed that there was a possibility that you liked me too."

My heart jumps up in my throat. Did he just say that he likes me? I stare at him and, without me cracking one of my stupid jokes, his dimples appear just on their own. His eyes are glittering and his smile huge as his finger strokes from my chin up to my lips, tracing the lines around them. "I've thought about touching you so many times, Carlisle. I never thought I'd have the chance of actually doing it. Please tell me I can kiss you!"

I feel butterflies swirling around in my stomach. Is my first kiss going to be tonight? Is it going to be a guy that gives it to me? My whole body screams 'yes' and I nod my head frantically. "Yes, please do," I whisper and his smile turns into a huge grin. He is so beautiful. How can I have been so stupid not seeing this before?

Then his eyes becomes all blurry as he leans in, closing the few inches that separate us and I feel the heat from his skin and his soft lips brushing against mine before he pulls away, staring intently at me. I wrinkle my eyebrows - was this all? My first kiss, and then it was all a teasing brush. "More," I whisper and he smiles happily at me, leaning in to kiss me with more pressure.

He feels so good, his smell, his moan and just . . . him, and I press myself against him. His tongue licks along my bottom lip. I open my mouth to taste him, and the taste of another person's tongue in my mouth is more than I ever have dreamed about. It must be that it's him. Oh, God, I have Jasper's tongue in my mouth, mingling with my own, brushing against the insides of my mouth.

The thought I had before of my cock being inside him is gone. All I can think about is his hands on my achingly hard cock and him buried as far as he goes into me. I groan into his mouth. All of the images that my mind presses forward at once show me that it's what I want.

He slowly pulls away from me. "No?" I whisper to him.

But he gestures his head to Edward's sleeping form. "Not now." And I understand what he means. We're moving too fast and we're in the presence of our other best friend. The friend that we both want to keep and stay close to.

I reluctantly nod at him, showing him I understand.

"We should get some sleep too," he whispers. "It's really late." I yawn just as he says the words and feel his hand sneaking under my neck and I snuggle against his arm, brushing my lips against his naked skin. His skin is surprisingly soft, over the strong muscles.

I wake the next morning with Edward nudging my side, saying, "Carlisle, wake up!"

"No, I don't want to," I whine, snuggling closer to the warm body beside me and I feel more than I hear the chest of the person vibrate, as his deep voice chuckles. He? Deep voice? It takes me a few seconds to realize where I am and what happened last night. I look up at Jasper's face and see him staring seriously down at me.

I can't help the smile that forms on my face all by itself when I remember everything. His confession, myself becoming aware of the feelings I have pressed down for so long and . . . and I remember his lips – my first kiss. Jasper grins happily at me when he sees my smile. "Oh, thank God, it wasn't a dream, or only alcohol talking!" he exclaims.

I lean forward, wanting him to kiss me again, but I feel a nudge at my side again. "You guys! You're all sweet and shit, but we are fucking late! The game starts in half an hour and you don't have any of your things here. We need to leave pronto if we don't want coach to kick our butts! And remember it's Jacob's team we're meeting today, we really have to win this one," Edward urges us and we both jump up and start folding our sleeping bags.

"We'll talk more tonight," Jasper hurriedly promises, as we rush to Edward's car.

Jasper and I spend as much time alone together as we can over the next few weeks, and I do some much needed self-searching. We talk to each other on the phone late at night and a couple of times we jerk off together as we lay in our bedrooms listening to each others groans as we come. When we're together in my room or his, we talk and kiss but touch over our clothes only, and try to take this as slowly as our hormones let us. We haven't kissed or held hands in public yet and the only people who know we're together are Edward and a couple of other close friends.

He stopped talking to Alec the night after our first kiss, not because I asked him too, but because he didn't want to anymore. I feel so sure about my feelings for him. It didn't take me long to realize them once I allowed myself to think about them. I have no idea if I could ever feel attracted to a girl and I don't care about that at all. I know society looks at couples of one boy and one girl as normal, but I only know what my heart tells me, and that is that one boy is natural for me, and his name is Jasper.

This Saturday there's another party at La Push beach and we're staying the night in tents again. This time it's only Jasper and I sharing a tent though. Edward has set his eyes on this new girl, the police chief's daughter who just moved here, and he hopes to persuade her to share his own tent tonight.

Jasper and I sit on a rock, sipping our beers as we watch him work his charm on her. He seems to have the hang of it and we turn our focus away from him and over to the crowd around us. I catch Jacob's eye and see him looking at Jasper and me with a wrinkle on his forehead, assessing the lack of distance between us. He strolls unsteadily over with a beer in his hand at the same time as to my horror I see Esme approach us.

"Oh fuck," I mumble.

Jasper hears me and looks up to see the two people in front of us. "Well, hello there," he says charmingly to Esme. He completely ignores Jacob who kicks his foot.

"Hey, Cullen. What's the deal between the two of you? Are you two gay or something? Huh?" he says, his voice dripping sarcasm.

I knew he would give me trouble one day after I kicked his ass on the football field a few weeks ago. I look over at Jasper questioningly. We haven't discussed what we're going to tell people who ask us a direct question.

"So, are the two of you fags or what?" he slurs, his voice filled with mocking. Jasper jumps up so fast, my beer slips out of my hand and smashes on the ground. It's suddenly quiet all around us, and I nervously look around, hoping to see Edward's friendly face, but I can't find him. I see Esme's face though, and she's angry. Before Jasper can react anymore to Jacob's cruel words, her fist is in Jacob's eye so fast that both Jasper and I turn stunned to her.

"You idiot!" she yells at him, loud enough for everybody to hear. "Don't you dare say that word again!"

Jacob clutches his eye and his friends rush over to help him. I hear them say to him, "Jacob, you idiot! What did you say to her?"

Another one says, "God damn, that girl can hit! I think you might need to see a doctor, Jacob."

I smile at Esme, mouthing 'thank you', before I walk over to Jacob to take a look at his eye. He winces when he sees me, but I tell him loud enough for everybody to hear, "Do you want me to take you to Edward's father and let him stitch you up? Or don't you want to be in the car with a gay couple?"

They all stare from me to Jacob, and he mumbles, "Sorry man, I didn't mean it."

Jasper comes up behind me and folds his arms around me, kissing my neck. "That's all right," I tell Jacob. "I forgive your ignorance this time. Do you want me to take you to the doctor though?" I ask him again but he shakes his head.

"No, I don't think I need it, thanks," he mumbles, his fingers probing his eyelid.

"Okay," I tell him happily. "I'll go make out with my boyfriend then. See you on the football field in a couple of weeks, and prepare yourselves for some serious ass kicking."

We walk away from him hand in hand and Esme hurriedly follows us. "Hey, Carlisle, I'm sorry I punched you in the eye the other week. You said the most degrading things to me but I know I shouldn't have turned to violence. I just can't help it sometimes when people use those kinds of words," she shrugs.

"I'm all right now," I reassure her. "I'm so sorry for what I said to you before."

"Yeah, well, my cousin is gay too and I guess I hate it when people use such disrespectful words to anybody really," she explains.

I look over at the people around us and, there at the back of the group, I see the new girl yelling at a red-faced Edward.

"Hey, Esme!" I say. "Could you please go over to Edward and give him some hints on what to tell a girl to make her like him? I know he fancies her," I point at the girl. "But he has no clue on how to be romantic."

Jasper chuckles beside me, squeezes me against him and kisses my head.

A/N: Thank you for reading!