From the desk of Dr. Leonard L. Church - Entry 3

We were 17 in our third year of high school when our already confusing relationship took on a new, and generally frustrating on my part, aspect.

Now in school I always held high academic achievements in the areas of math and science in fact I could have graduated with high honors had I cared enough for any of my other classes to actually do the work. But as Literature and history bored me and I cared or rather I care little for the visual arts I came out of those classes with nothing higher than a C average. Now this was not my only characteristic that mother would try to sweet talk out of me, no the one that cause her constant turmoil was my habit of locking myself in my room for days on end to work on my newest ides, a trait I kept throughout my life. And as my father would never complain, for more often than not my ideas ended up helping his company, my mother made it her personal mission to relive me of this habit. But over time I learnt how to throw her off. In an attempted to appeases her and stop her insistent nagging at my becoming a hermit I joined the schools science club. Somehow I had become the head of the club a rather remarkable achievement as I was the one least likely to show up to the actual meetings, but they could not deny that if anyone was going to get something done it was me. The club would often bother me on the phone or insistently ring my doorbell if they needed my assistance, an all to frequent occurrence. Soon they found out that when I did not want to be bothered I'd leave the house through the back or shut off my phone. They then learned that Alison would be the go between for a nominal fee; she made a fair amount of money off them over the years.

While I had flourished in the areas of science and technology Alison became fluent in more socially accepted areas namely sports. Alison had a different sport for every season and although she was quite possibly the most exceptional member of the teams by raw talent alone, she was never given recognition, even when offered to her. If asked to be team Captain she would refuse and recommend someone else and if she heard a rumor that she would get the title of MVP she would miss a few games. No one ever truly understood why she did this though not from lack of trying. It seemed as though every week she was taken to either a coaches office who would tell her the many opportunities she would miss if she continued to down play her achievements with her behavior or the consolers office who would try to "understand her" in that ever so condescending way that would make one want to physically hurt the poor fool. Even I myself didn't realize what she was doing until much later in life. She wanted to make sure she never disappointed anyone like the people in her life, namely her parents, did to her, just as she assumed everyone else in her life would all eventually do.

When working on a particularity exciting new program or blue print I'd work non stop only coming out of my room for food, to relieve myself or to keep up appearances, my mother never did find out that I had constructed a stow away ladder in order to leave my room. During these times Alison was the only one permitted to enter my room, sometimes she too would make use of the ladder and waste the day away, other times it was to warn me that the school would be calling soon or that the science club actually did need help, and on rare occasions she would come to make sure that I was eating. So when she entered my room as though it were her own, I gave only a half hearted greeting with a question as o why she was there. Normally she would nonchalantly say something along the lines of "Those science nerds need your help," or "Better get your ass to school or your moms gonna take your laptop away again," or even "Did you eat today?" But this time nothing, no sarcastic come back, no witty retort she just fell down on my bed. At the time I thought she was just sleeping having not being able to at her own home as she would often do and I left her alone focusing on my project. I later realized that she was not sleeping but rather thinking.

I don't clearly remember how much time passed while I worked the day away but I do know that when I had finally finished she was still there on the bed. At the time all I cared about was getting something to eat and reliving myself but I later realized that Alison did not move an inch when I came back, now to some this would mean very little but I knew that the only times she remained completely still was when she upset or thinking about something of relative importance, but at the time I did not care far to exhausted from working 20 hours straight. I remember collapsing on the bed next to Alison trying to will my mind asleep but before I could Alison spoke up.

"Hey, you still dating that girl Tiffany?" I should have questioned her about this but I was too tired to make an argument out of it so my reply was a simple yes. I remember the girl quite clearly; my mother introduced us in a diluted attempt to make me more social. Tiffany went to a private all girls catholic school and as such was exited at the mere thought of having a boyfriend not really minding that I rarely called her or showed any interest in what she cared about but she knew not to bother me while I worked and the relationship helped to distracted my mother so it was good enough.

"You ever think about sleeping with her?" Now that got my attention. I could blame it on my sleep-deprived state but in all honesty the only response I could give was,

"What?" Alison turned to me then and seeing what I can only assume was complete and utter confusion on my face decided to explain herself.

"Will's kinda been pushing it lately." I never liked any of Alison's boyfriends usually it was from my own jealousy and had she merely been a friend most of the guys she chose to have an actual relationship with were decent enough but every now and then she would date someone I absolutely despised, Will was one of them.

"But that's nothing new. What's bugging me now is the girls' on my team they've been talking non-stop about that shit, and you know I just started thinking is it really that big a deal? It's like no one even waits for marriage anymore so like aside form disease what the big deal of waiting? Just looking for your take on the whole thing." As she said this to me I realized what she meant, sex was everywhere then and her mother was not what one would call the best role model regarding this topic. I could have said something to completely stop her thought of sleeping with Will had my brain had been operating at a higher capacity instead I told her what I truly thought about the topic.

"I see your point but I still think you should wait until you meet the right person and no I don't mean your true love or any bullshit like that. I think you should wait for someone you really trust someone you know who isn't just gonna take what you give but who's gonna cherish it. So no I don't think about Tiffany that way I don't trust her." At that time I assumed Alison had not listen to me as she remained quite and I drifted off into sleep when I awoke the next day Alison had silently left, an all to common occurrence later in life.

Weeks later I was working on a blueprint for something I can't really recall, all I can remember is that I thought it would be revolutionary only to later realized it was complete garbage. It was at this time as I was inspecting my work that Alison unceremoniously dropped her bag on my desk and ripped the blueprints from my hand.

"So just what have you locked yourself away in you room for?" she looked over the design and gave a snort, "This has to be the dumbest thing you've ever thought up. For such a smart guy why do you waste your time with these things?" My only response to her was an angry glare because somewhere even in my young and arrogant mind I knew she was right. However that did not stop me from making a sarcastic remark about why she was there, Alison smirked and questioned just how I was spending my time with out my parents.

Deciding it was time I took a break Alison confiscated my blueprints and dragged me downstairs for Pizza, courtesy of my fathers funds, and a movie marathon. One would think I would be angry about this but the fact is I was not, I'll admit as she pulled me down the stairs I was disgruntled but when she told me her plans I warmed up to the idea of a break. Looking back on it now perhaps I should have made more of an effort to push her away that day.

"When are your parents supposed to get back?" Alison asked during a movie so softly that a barely heard her over the movies special effects.

"Sometime in the afternoon tomorrow not exactly sure when but I'm not complaining." I remembered not thinking much of her statement but looking back it was a rather odd statement for her as she was free to come and go as she pleased in my childhood home my parents thinking nothing of her presence there. But back then I cared more about re-watching some over paid moron pretend to flight off a horrid of zombies in poorly written movie than analyze Alison's actions. So I began to drink my cola when almost as though I were in a rather cruel romantic comedy she said,

"Do you wanna have sex?" and just like that it took all my self-control not to expel the contents of my drink on my parents coffee table. I faced Alison trying to search her face to give away any information that would make sense of her statement, but there was nothing. No sign of humor in her eyes, her lips in a perfect line, she was completely and utterly serious and I dumbfounded. I have always found stuttering a horrible trait mocking those out right for this common tick of the nerves but in this on instance I allowed myself to succumb to it.

"Wha...what? What are you... Your not... You can't...ju...where is..where is this coming from?" Alison shook head as though I had just asked something that had such a clear and known answer that there was no need to ask such as 'what color is the sun?' With a laugh she answered.

"From you. Remember you said the first time should be with someone you trust, and you know that made sense to me so then I thought who is someone I trust, and well unfortunately the only person I really trust is you." To this day I am still unsure of just what surprised me more about her statement, that she actually took my advice or that she admitted she trusted me above all others. I would like to say that I handled this situation with a level head that I treated this with the same nonchalance that Alison showed. But that would be a blatant lie. I was scared terrified even I wracked my brain trying to find any reason I could to change Alison's mind.

"Are you sure you want to do this I mean we don't even have you know protection," Almost immediately after the words left me she produce a small plastic square which I knew contained a condom. I remember trying to ask her where she got it but she gave me her patented 'do you really have to ask ' look, which told me she had taken it from her mother. With my first attempt being a failure I made another it was pathetic I realize, even then, trying to worm my way out of this scenario but I was young and may I say scared with no true idea on how to handle this situation. I honestly don't recall how long I rambled nor what I said but I do distinctly remember Alison's rebuttal.

"Leonard are you gay or something" she looked at me so curiously as though this was the only logical conclusion one could come to for my aversion to her idea.

"What! No! Jesus why would you ask that?" I believe it was at this moment that I stopped thinking rationally.

"Then prove it!" She smirked as she gave her challenge leaning in depriving me of my person space because she knew she had won out. In hindsight I realized that I should never have tried to beat Alison like this she knew my far too well, she knew that by attacking my ego she could get me to agree to just about anything. Before I knew it we were in my room once again this time for an entirely different reason. We sat on the bed both of us entirely unsure of our selves and what we had just decided to do. Alison made the first move, as I found she often would in this side of our relationship, pressing her lips powerfully against mine. For the second time that day I was left at a loss as to what I should do so passively I sat there and reveled in this moment in the feeling of her lips on mine. She stopped at one point and looked at me with eyes so filled with passion that made me think this meant as much to her as it did to me. This was only a theory however as Alison herself never did tell me why she had decided to do this always skillfully avoiding the question sometimes even acting as though the act never occurred. At that moment though my mind shut off and I acted purely on instinct capturing her lips with my own hoping foolishly that this would change things between us.

We were a mess of fumbling hands and awkward touches often laughing when something went wrong, such as when she missed one button on my shirt getting it caught on my head or when I fell into her when trying to remove her bra. Somehow Alison had positioned herself on top of me, a position she would favor for the rest of her life. Alison always enjoyed being in control so it never came as shock to me that only on special occasions would Alison allow me the privilege of being in control in these situations. Soon we found what it was we needed to do and when the proverbial deed was done we collapsed into sleep.

I awoke in a haze hours later Alison having already left the only reason I knew that what I just experienced was not a dream was the disarray of my room, the sound of the television that we never bothered to shut off and the bra she had missed on the floor. I sat there contemplating our actions and while a part of me an idiotically optimistic part of me hoped that this would change things between us and that Alison had crossed the line she set so long ago. I knew that this changed nothing.

The next day I arrived at school with her bra in a plastic grocery bag taunting her for leaving such an important item behind, she laughed and things were back to the way the were, I still dated Tiffany she stayed with Will. But to say that things stayed precisely as they had been would be a lie. No rather it took an unexpected turn.

A month or so later I can't truly recall a rumor started to spread about Alison and Will, the idiot was apparently unable to keep his unruly mouth shut. I asked or rather interrogated Alison about it and her response was a shrug of the shoulders stating that he wasn't very good. In my jealousy, like my anger, I made stupid decisions. This one however involved Tiffany I don't believe I have to explain just what I did in these notes all I wish to say is that my actions did nothing to help me if anything I felt worse. I only received an ounce of satisfaction a few days later when I told Alison just as emotionlessly as she, I could have sworn I saw a hint of anger in her eyes before she turned away from me. Alison covered her tacks by saying that she was glad the uptight prude got some help. But I saw it I know I did, it was a look I'd become familiar with over the years.

I don't remember how much later it occur but Alison let Will loose the true reason is a much a mystery to me as it was him, who venomously stated he dumped her; she merely said that he was getting annoying. A few days later we slept together. Another day or so after that I broke things off with Tiffany sparing her feelings by telling her that my life was getting to busy to give her the attention she deserved. And thus our vicious cycle began. Every now and then Alison would get a new boyfriend, whom I'd despise, in retaliation I'd gain a girlfriend. She would sleep with me only to then sleep with who ever she was dating. In my jealousy I'd do the same to the girl I was with, I would tell her and she would look at me as though she would kill me but instead slept with me. I would dump whom ever I was with. Sometimes Alison would dump the boy sometimes string him along for another round but it was always the same the only constant in this cycle was that we only had sex in my bed together and that we never changed our attitudes towards each other, to anyone looking on the outside the idea of the two of us being active together was a ludicrous thought.

To this day I am unaware of just Alison was trying to prove or if she was even thinking when we did this. Was she testing me? Seeing if I could treat things separately. Was she testing them and using me to determine there worth? Or was she trying to prove something to herself? I doubt that I will ever truly know why we did what we did.

Ok so this chapter took longer to write than I thought it would my life has kinda been keeping me away from it and the chapter it self was rather hard for me to write. What I wanted to get across here was something Church often brought up in the original series that Tex would sleep with other guys and leave him in the morning, I also remembered that in the New Years PSA Church's resolutions for Tex went like this " meant nothing to me how many times are we going to have this arguement?" meaning he'd done it as well. I figure some of the memories wouldn't quite be the same but similar so Alison and Leonard sleep together but aren't actually dating and she always seems to choose someone else over him.

I also wanted to show the differences between them Leonard is all into science and Alison is more physical but they both seem to down play their potentials so they are slowly becoming more like the counterparts we know and love.