disclaimers_I don't own Naruto.
notes_this one is a little weird...

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prompt_Heist

A Backwards Goodbye

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It is past sundown, but the darkening sky is still bleeding red and orange at it's horizon. At the edge of the cliff, the two stand a step away from the fifty three foot drop into the surging ocean below. If the landing doesn't kill them, then the black waves crashing against the jagged rock face most certainly will. But, tonight is not their night to die (that would be stealing the show).

Naruto has her ankles, Sasuke has her wrists, and Sakura hangs between the two like a rag doll. They're in their blacks suits, she is in her black dress, her eyes closed like she is sleeping, and still she manages to look pretty all powdered up.

Together the two teenage boys began to swing her back and forth in tandem. Towards the ocean and back. Towards the ocean and back. Towards the ocean and back.

It could have been funny if they weren't slowly speeding up; if they looked a little less serious; if the girl would just open her eyes.

Towards the ocean, they let go, and she is flying.

The wind pulls violently at all her loose ends: her hair, her arms, her legs, and her black dress flaps crazily around her like a torn up parachute. Naruto and Sasuke are watching and watching and watching with hands in their pockets until, finally, she hits the dark waters below and is snuffed out of sight. Gone.

The salted winds buffet the two relentlessly and a heavy silence hangs between them in Sakura's place.

At their backs lies the empty casket. In the distance, the wail of sirens is growing louder and nearer.

There is no longer any light in the sky.

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The black convertible tore down the streets, running red lights, and screeching around hair pin turns. Right on its tail, a small fleet of police cars doggedly kept chase while their sirens flashed and shrieked in outrage.

The car's top had been opened to make room. Sasuke was at the wheels and Naruto was sitting stooped in the passenger's seat because the coffin jutted out over his headrest like a peculiarly shaped ramp.

It would have made more sense to take Naruto's ride, but the orange van had been totaled in the crash.

Sasuke barreled through a speed bump and Naruto's head rocketed into the wood with a bang. The blonde let loose a string of curses but didn't loosen his hold on the coffin, determined to keep Sakura from getting thrown out of the car.

Once had been enough.

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It was all so strange that no one really knew how to react at first.

When the two boys stepped up to the coffin during the open casket viewing, no one had suspected anything. After paying their respects to the dead girl, the one with the black hair–Sasuke, if Mrs. Haruno remembered correctly–suddenly, reached over and slammed the lid shut.

Then the blonde one from next door who was always over for dinner or pies or cookies, spun the coffin around on it's gurney. Before anyone could understand what was going on, the two boys were propelling the coffin down the aisle at a full out sprint.

Those in attendance all stood in a mix of amazement and confusion as the strange procession shot past them. At one point the arrangement of lilies fell off the casket, but the boys didn't slow to pick it up. They didn't even hesitate at the exit, charging through the double doors while using the coffin like a battering ram.

The doors swung shut and those left in the church were struck silent.

What the hell?

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For two days neither of them spoke. Their beds were placed five feet apart, but it might as well have been five miles.

On the third day, Naruto suddenly broke the silence.

"Fuck," he said. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" He was yelling and screaming and slamming his fists into the thin hospital mattress with every word.

"Shut the hell up," Sasuke snapped next to him.

Naruto struggled into a sitting position, and twisted to look at his companion. His expression looked as stricken as a caged animal's. "What the hell do you mean shut up? I fucking killed her bastard! What a way to go right? Killed by your own best fucking friend! Write that one across her headstone! And don't you go and say it wasn't my fault! Because it was. All. My. Fucking. Fault, damn it." His voice broke into a sob over the last word.

Sasuke stayed quiet and pretended that Naruto wasn't trying to muffle his crying.

Eventually the blonde's sobs subsided. They both lay in bed, listening to the machines hum and the beep of the heart monitor. A gurney rattled by in the hallway outside. Sasuke took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He turned his head and gave Naruto a tired look.

"If you feel bad, then do something about it."

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It was a heavily forested area and poorly lit at night, though that was no excuse. The orange SUV hurtled down the narrow road at eighty miles per hour, thirty miles past the posted speed limit. All around, the dark spires of pine trees crowded against the edge of the asphalt, their jagged tops blocking out the star littered sky. It was a foreboding atmosphere, though it was lost upon the three in the car.

Naruto was at the wheel, Sasuke in the passenger's side, and Sakura was in the backseat, despite her earlier declaration of "shotgun".

When Sakura complained about the seating arrangement, Naruto just cheerfully explained that the back was the safest place to sit. Sasuke didn't say anything, which meant he agreed.

When Sakura pointed out that there weren't any seat belts, Naruto assured her he and Sasuke would catch her before anything happened, to which Sakura rolled her eyes. There were times when it was kind of cute when her guy friends played the overprotective card; this was not one of them.

Sakura crammed her hand into the crevices of the seat, determined to find a buckle. Unfortunately, for all her effort, all she managed was to get potato chip crumbs beneath her nails. When her hand brushed against what felt like a wad of gum, Sakura eventually resigned herself to the situation at hand.

In the front, some strange lovechild of alternative and techno band called "ANBU" was playing low in the background. Naruto and Sasuke had gotten into another argument about Amazonians and one winged angels that was so stupid and mindless that Sakura tuned them out of sheer habit.

It was so peaceful that when they hit the deer, it was like a bomb had gone off in the middle of a waiting room. Sakura remembered the thud of the impact, the squeal of tires, Naruto yelling, Sasuke cursing, and everything spinning madly around.

Before she could fully understand what was going on, the car rammed it's nose into a massive, unyielding pine tree and Sakura went sailing through the windshield. She was thrown so hard against the trunk that her body was practically wrapped around it, snapping her spine like a twig.

They said she died instantly.

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They were crowded onto the smelly couch in Naruto's basement, or The Man Cave as Sakura liked to call it. Dim and poorly decorated, the only redeeming feature of the whole place was the giant plasma screen television mounted on the television in front of them. Unfortunately, it was currently playing host to some video game, the only discernible goal of which was to beat the other player to a bloody pulp.

Squashed between her two dead-eyed friends, Sakura watched Naruto's scantily clad Amazonian duke it out against Sasuke's one winged angel. Aside from the game's various sound effects and the furious tapping of thumbs against plastic buttons, the room was silent.

Suddenly, Naruto's Amazonian let out a pained shriek as she was uppercutted into far upper right hand corner of the screen. "Fucking hell!" Naruto threw up his hands and cursed when he lost. "Again!" He demanded hotly as they were returned to the game's opening sequence.

Sakura watched as they navigated through the title screen. Naruto was fuming while Sasuke looked smug as ever.

"You know, I'd hate to die in a lame way," Sakura commented.

"There's lame ways to die?" Naruto asked without taking his eyes off the television.

"Of course. Like those people who accidentally eat peanut butter even though they're allergic. Can you imagine what their headstones would read?"

Next to her, Sasuke snorted.

Sakura jabbed an elbow into him in response. "I'm being serious here. If I was gonna die, it'd have to be super badass. Like if I was sky diving and my parachute wouldn't open."

"That's just unfortunate," Sasuke commented.

"Yeah, but at least my epitaph could read something cool like 'Death by Skydiving.'"

"You guys wanna get some pizza after this?" Naruto suddenly cut in.

Sakura shrugged. "Sounds good."

"Excellent! I want anchovies on mine!" The blonde announced.

"That's disgusting."

"Loser pays for the whole pie and doesn't get to choose a topping," Sasuke wagered.

"You're on bastard!" Naruto fired back and stood up in his seat to make a scene. Sasuke rolled his eyes, though he stood as well.

"Make sure you win Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cheered from the couch.

"What?" Naruto squawked. "Sakura-chan! Why're you–"

"She hates anchovies you dumbass," Sasuke pointed out.

Sakura just laughed. Everything was perfect.

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author's notes_

1. reviews, comments, emotion outbursts are always appreciated.

2. for those of you stalking Return&Rehash, I'M WORKING ON IT SOORRRYY! ;_;

3. I'm in college and this covert double-life-writing thing is getting to be hard...