Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or anything to do with it, including any characters or places mentioned. I earn nothing for writing this. It's just for fun.

A/N: I was always curious what would have happened if Booth had told Brennan he loved her in 5X01. Set a just after Booth realises he forgot he is scared of clowns. All reviews and constructive criticism welcomed. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 1

Booth didn't think he would ever forget how crestfallen he felt when he hadn't found that clown scary. In fact, he'd been quite amused by it until Bones broke his heart by pointing out that before his operation he had been scared of them. The truth came flooding back then even though this was the last thing he wanted.

Maybe Sweets was right after all? Maybe he did not love Bones after all. Maybe it just was a result of the dream he'd had in coma. He had prayed to God every day since for his feelings to be true.

He sat in his flat alone all night brooding. He'd been trying to work out what to do but still he had no answers. Earlier, he had even cut his celebratory drinks for another case well done with the rest of the squints short. He'd told her he loved her once and managed to cover it up by telling her he loved her as a friend. She bought the reasoning for his confession. He had been lucky. No one else would have let it slide so easily. For once his partner's lack of people skills had come in handy. He knew his luck would not withstand another test, especially not with the likes of Angela around. If he slipped up again, someone would enlighten her to the truth and the result of that could damage her to the core. Still, not trusting himself to keep his mouth shut he removed himself from the situation.

Now they had finished their current case the FBI had granted him a few days off for all the extra hours he'd been pulling lately. They did not want to push him too far while his health was so delicate. Usually he'd get a lonely if he didn't have Parker but this time he was grateful, If Sweets was right then maybe his feelings would go away in that time and things could go back to normal between him and Bones, although now thinking of a time when he did not love her seemed almost impossible.

Ugh he thought, Maybe it would do me better to think about something else for a while, if I can. He wondered over to the fridge, pulled out a beer popped the lid and settled down in front of the TV to watch some really bad sitcom repeats.

He'd just got comfy when an urgent knocking started on his door. "C'mon Booth, I know you're in there." a voice called "We need to talk and I'm not leaving 'till we do!"

He groaned and dragged himself of the couch. The voice belonged to the last person he wanted to speak to tonight; but if he knew his unwanted guest as well as he thought he did, he knew they would not go away until they got what they came for. With a sigh, he resigned himself to his fate and headed towards the door.

"What do you want Sweets?" He groaned as he opened the door.

"Agent Booth," the psychologist began walking into the flat "We Need to talk. I just spoke to Doctor Brennan, she told about the clown. She's very worried, and so I am."

Booth sat down and Sweets did the same. Neither of them noticed the door had failed to close properly behind them.

"Look Sweets, that's nice but we both know that I've been forgetting things. I'm working on it, with you and Bones, so why are you so worried?"

"Because, Agent Booth, this makes it all the more likely that you don't really love Doctor Brennan. I'm a psychologist, I can tell you're dying let her know." He studied his friend's face for a second. "In fact, you're looking rather guilty at this moment in time. Oh God, you haven't, have you? Please say you didn't."

"No, of course not!" he protested a little too quickly. Sweets gave him one of 'those looks' "Oh right, okay, I kinda did. But as a friend."

"Explain."

"Well, for once I'll be honest with you, I was about to tell her that I loved when we both agreed that I was back to normal 'cause I figured that feelings as strong as what I have now must be real, but then that clown showed up, and yeah...well, you know the rest." Booth saw no point in continuing with the story that the kid already probably knew better than he did anyway.

"So," Sweets said switching into full-on shrink mode, "You then realised that what I've been trying to tell you for ages may actually be true. I think this both hurts and annoys you. It hurts because right now, you want nothing more than to admit to your dear Bones that you're madly in love with her. However, you can't do this because you couldn't handle the guilt of knowing that you broke her heart." He paused for a moment as he noticed Booth wince at the accuracy of his analysis. He continued: "I also think this is annoying you because you feel like you can't trust your own mind. This is understandable but I am more worried about your issues with Doctor Brennan at the moment."

"Yeah, me too." Agreed Booth.

"I also think that the fact Doctor Brennan also clearly loves you further complicates matters-"

"WHAT?" Booth stammered interrupting Sweets mid-flow "She loves me too?"

"Yes, she does and has for a long time. This is why you need to be extra careful in your handling of this situation but I'm here to help with that."

"Whoa, Sweets, wait up a sec. You're telling me that Bones has loved me for ages and now I feel the same way I can't tell her because things might go wrong? This whole thing is driving me mad Buddy. I'm finding it hard to concentrate to everyday tasks because all I can think about is how much better it would be if she were here with me. I can't sleep because I want to hold her close and keep her safe through the night and I don't find other women attractive because all I can think about is how much they are not her. But I can never have her or any of these things because my shrink, our shrink says I'm not allowed to tell her I love her!"

Just as Sweets opened his mouth to respond, the pair were interrupted by a gasp behind them. They turned to find Bones stood in the door way with a bag if take away food in her hand, looking totally shell-shocked.