She looked into his eyes, and placed her hand on his cheek. "I do see it, you are still there." Finally she saw me, not the doe-eyed child nor the cold sheriff, but something in between.
"So what's the problem?"
"Bill." And with that single word my dead, cold, un-beating heart shattered. "When you were about to kill him, I just couldn't bear the thought of the world without him in it." She explained. I don't think I can stomach this, he thought. The pain in his chest was the worst he had ever felt in over a thousand years. His insides twisted and writhed in pain, this is why he chose to go through is undead life without compassion. Feeling was weak, loving was worse.
"I love you," she said taking his hand in her own "And I don't want to lie to you, but I can't help it. I love him too." He was angry now. How could such an insignificant, frail little human do something like this to him, she was temporary, she would soon grow old and die and he would live on. He knew from the beginning there was no hope for this. He was gravely wounded, more than he will ever let her neither see nor let anyone else know. It seemed life no longer made sense. The wires of his existence now tangled, connecting and disconnecting in the wrong pattern. "How is that possible?" He asked trying to conceal his boiling fury.
"Sometimes I thought it was only your blood, maybe it's just chemical…"
"You gave yourself to me, completely." He was fuming now. Was she going to deny that there was anything real between them? Surely not, he knew as well as she what they had was real. Amnesia or not. "You are mine." He finished as the rage subsided he was now more wounded than ever.
"I never promised that," Her words cut at him deeper and deeper, the lacerations of her words into his heart. How much pain was she willing to inflict on him? He didn't think he could take the pain much longer. "And you gave yourself to me," she looked right at him now "Completely."
"Yes, I did." He said with no shame, what he felt for her was nothing to be ashamed of and she should know that. He knew how he felt, and he was no coward. "I love you." He would not hide like a child from his emotions. He had never said these words to anyone besides his children from so many years ago. Never to Pam, nor Godric. She should know how much these words meant to him and how hard it was to say. He never thought he was capable of love. It was not a year ago when he claimed to not know the meaning of the words. She just looked at him, pity in her eyes, when he heard the door open behind him, he knew it was Pam.
"Bill called me. Are you back? Is it you?" She said with crimson liquid dried on her face.
"Yes, I am back." He stood and embraced her, which is very odd for vampires but she is an exception, she is his child. She is part of him.
"Oh, God, I missed you." She whispered with her head resting on his shoulder. She pulled away to look at him. "That fucking sorceress, I thought I lost you forever. How did you get her to break the curse?"
"She didn't, Sookie did." He didn't turn to look at her, saying her name aloud was painful enough.
"Oh… thanks," Pam said awkwardly "Why didn't you call me the second you were free?" She asked looking confused and a little hurt. Too busy spilling my guts to a human who looked at me with nothing but pity in her eyes. He did not need her fucking pity. He would not be looked upon in that way. "I'll explain later." He told Pam, he kissed her forehead and left before he was forced to face her again. He couldn't. Before he could even contemplate what he would do next her heard Bill and (the news woman) arguing. Something about blowing up a Moon Goddess? That's exactly what he needed right now, a fight, war, chaos. That sounded wonderful to him right about now.
He heard Sookie yelling at Bill and protesting the bombing. Apparently her friend was there. Tough shit, human got themselves into their own messes. And he would not have Sookie talking her precious Bill out of this one. "Well than they bet on the wrong horse, too bad." He said with not an ounce of empathy or compassion. He crossed his arms and leaned again the wall, feigning uninterest. Sookie continued to argue telling Bill that because of this human, he would have been dead and he still without a memory. Bill stood fast in his plan, as I hoped he would.
"My kind is still in danger; I cannot risk a potential genocide to save one human just because she is your friend." Bill said.
"Loveable, isn't he?" Eric said icily. She looked at him for the first time since Pam interrupted them and rolled her eyes. He was going to cause her life to be as complicated as his was because of her. He would not spare her feelings for she never did his. Sookie would one day have to choose and if that man wasn't him so be it. But he wasn't going to make it an easy decision.