Bonjour. This story is being written as a result from a poll on my profile. Sadly, not many actually voted so I had to keep it up for a while and well, the majority voted for this story.

I have troubles writing humor and I never wrote anything that could be truely considered crack, so this is a first. If you have suggestions, ideas, feedback, anything to contribute to the quality of this story, it would be nice to tell me.

Fire and Water

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Boredom.

That was a feeling Suigetsu Hozuki had grown accustomed to.

Why, you may ask?

Well...They, Suigetsu, Juugo, Karin and Sasuke, had been travelling around quite some time without finding Itachi now, and even though the Hozuki liked to travel a lot, it had become so boring!

Really, they couldn't have any real fun (or what Suigetsu considered as fun) because they didn't want Juugo to snap and cause trouble and unwanted attention. Stupid split personality...

But it was not the split personality which made the Mist Nuke-Nin worry (if that word was even in his dictionary as in "being worried for other people"), no, it was Sasuke's behavior these days.

Since they first met, Sasuke had been a cold-hearted, stuck-up brat, who did nothing but long for power, revenge and all that stuff.

Sasuke was never dreaming.

Sasuke was never speechless (it was as if something that managed to shut him up had yet to be invented).

Sasuke was never distracted.

At least, that was what Suigetsu had been thinking.

The Uchiha had suddenly started to space out from time to time (not very often, but still), often hid in his room for hours and no one was allowed to enter his room when he was like that. (He noticed that Karin did just that a week ago, but he had dragged her out there to prevent her from raping Sasuke) At their last inn, the Uchiha prodigy had fallen asleep at the dining table because he was just too caught up in his daydreaming (Who would've expected that from the Avenger) and he even ran into a wall. (Okay, actually, he ran against a wall, stumbled a step back and ran right into it again)

While that was all really concerning and pretty damn funny (and disturbing, regarding the fact that the Uchiha was too stupid to watch where he was going), at least one member of team Hebi didn't give him the creeps, only a major headache.

Yes, she was still the most annoying and obnoxious slut Karin, just like she used to be.

Okay, that one wasn't entirely true.

Something so shocking and just downright unbelievable happened.

She stopped fawning over Sasuke Uchiha.

Suigetsu swore he saw a flying pig that day (and that was not because the inn they stayed at was next to a butcher shop whose owner was known for his anger issues) and that hadn't been a trick his mind played on him.

(Why did people say that anyways? What reason could your mind have to play a trick on itself?)

Yep, but aside from that, she was as normal as ever.

Come to speak of her...

Suigetsu watched as she stepped into the room that could be described as a living room, and the first thing he noticed was that she didn't wear her glasses.

Why the hell he noticed that was a mystery to him.

But he did and he felt slightly unnerved when he saw how her wine-red eyes drifted over to him and stayed there.

At any other time, the white-haired teen would've thrown a few insults in her direction, but he was too...tired? Boredom sure was doing funny things to his head. Too bored to tease Karin? Oh come on!

Her boots made strange clacking noises as she approached him and

Before he could do anything against it,

She did the

Cruelest,

Scariest,

And meanest thing she could possibly ever do.

She smiled.

At him.

Suigetsu had seen many things in his life, scary, disturbing things, but this was the first time he saw the redhead smiling a genuine smile, and his presence, nonetheless.

And to his shock, she was coming closer and closer until she reached the armchair he was sitting in and her knees touched his.

She didn't stop there. She leaned over, her face coming nearer and nearer and nearer to his face, so that their noses almost came in contact with each other, the wide smile never leaving her features in the process.

The nuke-nin from Mizu no Kuni swallowed, not liking her sudden proximity at all. Was she on crack?

Karin opened her eyes, which she had closed earlier.

"Hello, Su-i-ge-tsu-kun!"

She stressed every syllable and before the white-haired male could ask her just what the hell was wrong with her, she retreated, and walked away.

As soon as he heard the door of her room close with a loud 'BOOM' ("Always the brutal one, huh, four-eyes?" "Fish-boy!"), he jumped onto his feet and stared at the wooden door and couldn't help but let his jaw drop.

He shook his head, and when he facepalmed, he felt that his cheeks were burning hot.

(Or better yet, was he on crack?)

It was late evening, and all counterparts of Team Hebi were sitting at the table and were eating in silence.

And this silence of doom had the amazing effect that everyone was feeling uneasy (except Sasuke who couldn't be affected by something trivial like that).

The giant Juugo ate at a fast pace to escape the tension by occupying himself with his food, but he failed. He was a polite person and every polite person waits until all people at the table are done eating. But breaking the silence that settled between them was even for the, at least most of the time, friendly and peaceful animal-lover impossible.

Suigetsu couldn't expect any help from the teen who sat next to Juugo and opposite from the sword carrier, because Sasuke was lost in one of his daydreams again. At least he had said something before drifting off in his dream-land. "Tch" and a shake from his head as a reply to Suigetsu's question if he would like some ramen. Very talkative today, aren't you?

Suigetsu who was observing the scene chuckled quietly at the memory (Sasuke's facial expression when he mentioned 'Ramen' had been priceless), yet it wasn't enough to make the others talk.

Now, the table had four chairs, two on either side. One side was occupied by the Uchiha and Juugo, the other one by Suigetsu and...

Karin.

She was doing it again. She was acting out of character as hell by sitting next to him; she even volunteered to do that, which had earned her a strange look from the other teammates (the Avenger still being 'awake' at that time).

The orange-haired male shot him a questioning glance once again, making a motion with his head in her direction, as if asking 'On what drug is she?' or 'Why is she doing that?' Suigetsu liked to think he meant the former.

With a disgruntled expression Suigetsu mouthed 'I don't know!', slowly shaking his head to emphasize it.

The object of this mute conversation noticed the look on his face and asked, just as if she cared, "Is something wrong, Suigetsu-kun?"

There, it was there again!

The –Kun!

Was this a new kind of plot to kill him?

And for some stupid, stupid, stupid reason, he felt his blood rush to his cheek again.

"Well, I know, who here has a little problem!" she whispered without awaiting his answer for the question asked earlier and leaning over to him.

"You?" he said, confused.

And she giggled.

The soft giggles grew louder and louder, until she was laughing her ass off. She held her side and, to his dismay (was it really dismay?), supported herself with his shoulder.

"Hey, what's up with all that laughing, bitch?" he growled and half-heartedly tried to shove her off of him.

For a moment her face got serious again and he could see how she had to struggle to refrain herself from arguing back, yet it didn't last long, because she fell back into her laughing fit.

"Suigetsu! Just look, okay?"

He more or less obeyed (he would have looked either way).

There was nothing wrong with Juugo; the worried look that was probably meant for Karin did not count.

Then his eyes fell on Sasuke and he couldn't hold back the snort of laughter.

Yes, Mr. Uchiha had been acting weird lately but this sight was so highly amusing, Suigetsu wished he had a camera (for blackmailing of course).

The Sasuke Uchiha had fallen asleep, once again, with one of the weirdest expression Suigetsu had ever seen in his life. Then his head fell down, with his face right into his food.

Now, while that was quite disturbing, it was funny as hell too.

But what was even more disturbing, was the fact that he didn't move, hell, he didn't even seem to breathe.

The piranha-boy poked the Uchiha's side, again, and again, and again.

Suddenly Sasuke's head perked up and he whipped the salvia from his mouth, apparently embarrassed, and snapped "What?"

And that was when Karin, who had just managed to calm down, freaked out again. "Oh my god! That's so funny!" she laughed hysterically.

Despite receiving "THE GLARE" she didn't stop, instead she was almost throwing herself at Suigetsu.

So Sasuke turned his head, (wait, his cheeks...he was blushing? Okay, something was definitely WRONG with him), towards the support of Karin and asked, half-curious, half-angry "What? What's so funny?"

Suddenly the redhead's head perked up and she stated in a matter-of-fact voice "Oh nothing. You just finally hit puberty. Nothing special."

How she managed to keep a straight face while saying this was a mystery to all persons in the room, especially after her second laughing fit which had somehow made her almost sit on Suigetsu's lap.

Not that he noticed...

It was way too interesting to watch the face on the opposite side of the table turn from an expression of annoyance into disgust. Because in-between, several emotions crossed his face. There was embarrassment, horror, and...Oh-ho! Was that Guilt?

As if Karin had been right?

"As if." Sasuke muttered just loud enough for them to hear.

He left the table, food dripping from his face, leaving a path on the floor.

"I think you insulted him." stated Juugo, a slightly scolding expression on his face.

"You think so? But it's true! He HAS to realize someday!" retorted Karin, dramatically throwing her hands in the air, hitting her pillow's (coughSuigetsucough) head in the process.

Rubbing the now hurting spot on his forehead Suigetsu hissed "Hey, bitch! That hurt!"

"Why, you little-" She looked at him threatingly, her red orbs glaring at his purple ones, and she was about to raise her fist, when the origin of the curse mark interrupted them, saying that it was time to go to sleep.

When the beholder of Kubikiri Houcho fell onto his bed, he was disappointed that Karin had turned back to normal.

Just a tiny, tiny, ti-ny little bit disappointed.