Well, here it is, the final chapter! I will post again in a few days with the answers to any questions you might have…
Thursday
It was impossible to find a moment to discuss the Voldemort problem. The 'governors' hadn't been seen since Sunday, and Harry, Ron and Hermione still hadn't managed to get a moment to themselves. If Mr Harris didn't turn up, then one of the inspectors would be hanging around chatting to students. They had decided not to mention it in front of the other students, not wanting to cause mass hysteria.
"He's got us." Harry muttered to Ron as they got dressed on Thursday morning. "He's got hold of Dumbledore somehow, and we can't do anything whilst the inspectors are here, because we need to pass this inspection and we won't if everybody's running around screaming. We haven't even got our wands."
At this point Neville came back into the dormitory, and they had to change the subject.
Hermione and Draco had an inspector in Maths that morning, but Harry and Ron got through the whole day without being inspected.
"This inspection thing isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be." Ron admitted to Harry as they queued for dinner.
"Except for the whole dark-lord-returning business."
"Well, yeah."
The governors were at dinner, or at least most of them were. The leader, whom Harry was certain was Voldemort on Polyjuice, was absent, and Harry's scar was no more painful than the dull ache he'd had all week.
"Look!" Ron hissed as they were leaving to return to the common room. Harry followed his gaze, and noticed Draco Malfoy having a heated discussion with one of the governors.
"I bet that's his father on Polyjuice."
Whoever it was, Draco was asking questions that the governor refused to answer. Draco looked quite angry about it, but didn't press the issue.
"I wonder what's going on?"
Friday
The atmosphere seemed lighter on Friday, but Harry was wrapped up in the problem of what Voldemort was up to and couldn't join in the feeling of relief. "Have you noticed how all the staff are looking stressed again?"
"They're probably just worried that we're going to let them down at the last minute." Hermione reasoned. "Stop worrying, it won't help."
"It's all very well you saying that, but it's not like I can just forget that the man who murdered my parents is here in school." Harry hissed. "He killed Cedric too, remember, he'll hurt anybody who gets in his way."
That shut Hermione up.
Harry had no idea how he managed to concentrate all day. In PE that morning he played rugby on automatic pilot, and ended up with some nasty bruises that he barely noticed. The inspector who was watching the lesson congratulated him on some very brave tackling, when Harry had merely failed to notice the danger.
Sociology passed in a blur, but Harry didn't usually take in much of the lesson, which he admitted had been quite a bad subject choice for him. Hermione had English Literature after lunch when Harry and Ron had DT, and then she had Maths while they were free. Harry didn't notice what he was eating, and was glad that none of the inspectors tried to talk to him. The nagging pain in his scar had started to grow.
There were once again no inspectors in DT, and Harry decided to get his paperwork up to date rather than work with saws and hammers when his mind was somewhere else. Ron spent an hour and a half nailing bits of wood together in what was apparently an entirely random manner.
"Hey, Weasley!" Malfoy's familiar drawl followed them as they left the classroom at the end of the lesson. "Got any messages for your girlfriend?"
Ron looked confused for a moment. "What are you talking about, Malfoy?" His tone, carefully practised by now, indicated that he thought Malfoy was mad.
"I've got Maths with Hermione next. Any sweet nothing you'd like me to whisper to her?"
This, Harry realised, was obviously their latest staged fight. Ron didn't look particularly rehearsed.
"Bog off, Malfoy."
"Aw, I'm sure she'll be really pleased with that one. Still, maybe I can think of something better. She must be on the lookout for somebody who can offer her a bit more if that's the best you can manage."
Harry's suspicions that maybe Malfoy had picked the wrong subject this time were confirmed when Ron's response was to punch Malfoy very hard on the nose. There was a nasty crack and Malfoy yelled in pain before launching himself at Ron. Harry wondered if he should help out.
"That's enough!" Mr Harris suddenly appeared through the throng of students who were milling in the corridor. He grabbed hold of Draco. Harry grabbed Ron and helped the teacher to separate them.
"What was this about? No, don't tell me." Harris interrupted himself before anybody could answer. "I don't want to know. I've had enough of you two, come with me." He marched them both off into the school, leaving everybody else to pretend that they hadn't been involved. Harry suddenly realised that, despite their careful plans to the contrary, he was on his own.
For want of something better to do, he wandered up to the empty computer room to check the email account that they'd all had to set up as part of their Muggle Studies classes with Mr Harris.
He'd just established that nobody had emailed him, which wasn't entirely surprising since all his friends were at Hogwarts, when a sudden sharp pain in his scar made him turn round.
"So, Harry Potter, we meet again." He'd obviously stopped taking the Polyjuice potion, because the man leaning nonchalantly on the door frame, dressed in flowing black robes had the white skin, red eyes and flat nose that had haunted Harry's nightmares ever since the night when the Triwizard tournament had ended.
"Voldemort."
"Very observant of you, Harry." Voldemort stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. He produced his wand and in one smooth moment conjured ropes which bound Harry to his swivel chair.
"Now, I believe we had some unfinished business. Crucio!" The pain hit Harry just as it had done the last time he met his enemy, except that this time he knew that he wouldn't be given back his wand, he wouldn't be given the chance to duel, to escape, to survive. This was just a reminder, before the final curse, the killing curse. This really was it, he was going to die. He'd never see Ron, or Hermione, or any of the others again. Dazed by the pain, Harry found himself wondering if there was an afterlife where he might meet his parents.
"What's going on here?" Suddenly the pain stopped. Through blurred vision, Harry saw that the door had opened, and somebody was standing in the doorway. From the question, it could only be one of the inspectors.
"What on Earth are you doing?" A second voice joined the first. One of them came into the room and started to untie Harry. As his vision cleared, Harry could see the bewildered expression on Voldemort's face. Nobody had ever failed to be scared of him before.
"How dare you interfere, this is none of your business!" He spluttered finally.
"If you're hurting a student, it most definitely is our business" The inspector in the doorway said firmly. The ropes around Harry were finally loosened, and the first inspector helped him towards the doorway.
"Stop!" Voldemort, finding himself ignored, raised his wand. "Imperio!" The second inspector looked at him blankly.
"What?"
"Imperio!" Shielded from the curse by the first inspector, who was standing between him and Voldemort, Harry watched in amazement as both inspectors calmly carried on doing what they had been doing anyway, which was staring at Voldemort.
"Crucio!" Voldemort shook his wand, trying to work out why his powerful curses were failing.
"Avada Kedavra!" The jet of green light hit the second inspector, who looked at Voldemort in surprise.
"What on Earth are you doing?" he repeated. "Is that some sort of toy?"
"Toy? Toy? This is no toy! This is a wand!"
"A wand?" The inspector suddenly decided that he was dealing with a madman. "A magic wand?"
"Yes a magic wand! What other sort of wand would a wizard have?" Voldemort snapped, finally losing his cool.
"You're a wizard?" Said the inspector, in a tone of voice usually reserved for small children with imaginary friends.
"What's happening?" Two more inspectors turned up in the corridor. The first inspector hurried Harry out of the room.
"This man is a wizard." Explained the second inspector in a voice which clearly said "This man is mad, and probably dangerous."
"Not just any wizard! I am Lord Voldemort, the most powerful dark wizard of all!"
"Of course you are." The inspector turned to his colleagues. "Call the police. And a psychiatric hospital." He stepped further into the room. One of the other inspectors produced a mobile phone and started dialling. The fourth inspector followed the second one into the computer room.
"Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!" Both men were unaffected by the blasts of green light.
"Now then, Mr Voldemort, that's enough." The inspector who'd been doing most of the talking took hold of Voldemort's wand. "You can Abracadabra all you like, but you've been hurting a student and we can't have that." He removed the wand from the surprised Dark Lord's hand and threw it to the first inspector, the one who'd helped Harry out of the room. The two men who were in the room with Voldemort took hold of the Dark Wizard's arms and marched him into the little teacher's office which led off the computer room.
It wasn't long before wailing sirens were heard outside the castle, and an assortment of police officers and paramedics swarmed into the castle. Somebody gave the by now extremely agitated Voldemort a tranquillising shot, and bundled him off in an ambulance. The policemen went round taking statements from Harry and the inspectors, whilst a paramedic tried to relieve the pain left by the Cruciatus curse. Harry was relieved to see Dumbledore appear in the doorway.
"Hello Harry. Everything's going to be okay now, Mr Riddle's under arrest. He's being taken to a psychiatric hospital awaiting further assessment. I doubt he'll be released, given the evidence collected today for his mental instability.
"Sir…?" Harry didn't know how to ask about Voldemort's failed magic in front of so many Muggles.
"Have you finished with Harry now?" Dumbledore asked the senior police officer. When the man agreed, Dumbledore led Harry up to his office.
"I'm sure you must have a lot of questions." The headmaster smiled at Harry, suddenly looking a lot more like his old self.
"Why couldn't Voldemort hurt the inspectors?" Dumbledore smiled.
"Well, that was the brilliance of the plan. You see, OFSTED inspectors aren't human, they're something entirely different, and they're totally impervious to magic. They don't believe in it, and you can't hurt them with it. So Voldemort was powerless against them, and they just think he's insane."
"But…"
"How did the inspectors come to be at Hogwarts in the first place?" Harry nodded.
"I put Hogwarts on the list myself. Auror Harris helped."
"Harris is an Auror?" Harry's expression of disbelief made Dumbledore chuckle.
"Yes, and an old friend of mine. He makes quite a convincing Muggle, don't you think? We knew that Voldemort wouldn't be able to resist a chance like this, when all the magical protections around this school were disabled. Voldemort made one fatal mistake - he underestimated the power of the OFSTED inspectors. He'd assumed that they were ordinary Muggles, a mistake that many people make. He had no idea how to cope without his magic."
"What will happen to him now?"
"He'll be kept in a secure institution for the criminally insane. Harris and the other Aurors will be able to produce enough Muggle-style evidence to convict him of many murders. The Muggles don't have the death penalty in this country, but there's no way he'll be getting free. The Ministry will make sure that there are wizards on the staff of wherever he gets sent, and we'll warn the Muggle institution that this 'madman' has followers who may try to liberate him. That'll keep them on the watch for Death Eater attacks, which I think will be limited in number. Most of Voldemort's followers have become disenchanted with his leadership since he rose again."
As soon as the interview was finished and Harry's questions had been answered, Madam Pomfrey arrived to whisk him away to the hospital wing, where she used magic to tuck him into bed and gave him some chocolate to eat.
"Now that those inspectors have left, we can do things properly again." She huffed, although Harry noticed that she'd kept quite a few of the Muggle machines that Harris had provided for the hospital wing.
She let Hermione and Ron in, after much pleading from all three.
"Harry!" Hermione looked like she might have been crying. "We leave you alone for five minutes…" She flung her arms around him. Harry winced, whilst Madam Pomfrey had cleared the pain from the Cruciatus curse, he still had his bruises from rugby that morning.
"I shouldn't have left you, but Harris dragged us off to his office to yell at us." Ron tried to apologise, but Harry held up a hand to stop him.
"It doesn't matter any more. Voldemort's gone. It's over, we're safe now. The inspection is over and we can get back to normal."
Things took a while to get back to normal, however. Dumbledore, his long silver beard restored, had announced that anybody who wished to continue and pick up some Muggle qualifications was welcome to do so, and that special evening classes would be run in a few subjects. Harry and Ron decided that they had enough work to do catching up with their magical studies, but Hermione determined to continue and pick up a couple of 'AS' levels. Much to their surprise, so did Draco.
He'd apologised to Ron as soon as Harris had dismissed them that Friday afternoon, and they'd discovered that months of plotting together and pretending to hate one another had removed the malice from their insults. To their own amazement, they'd ended up friends. Draco still teased Ron about being poor, and Ron still called Draco a 'stuck up ferret', but they were also able to have a few civilised conversations.
Dean Thomas and various other students, including Ron Weasley, petitioned for football to remain on the school curriculum. It was decided that an inter-house football tournament would be played each year as well as the usual Quidditch. Hockey was dropped, to nobody's sorrow.
Professor Trelawney started a drama club, and stopped predicting Harry's death.
Mr Harris left school a few weeks after the inspection. He returned to his regular work for the Ministry. His first task was to remove Hogwarts from all future inspection lists.
Most of the Muggle rules were dropped. The dormitories were returned to their original state, and the offices were removed from the common rooms. After much pleading, the televisions were allowed to stay. Everybody was given back their wands and their boxes of magical belongings, unopened as promised. Ron returned his Chudley Cannons posters to the walls in their dormitory, but left his Muggle pictures in place. The electric lighting was kept in most of the castle, along with the central heating, although the fireplaces were restored for magical purposes. The computer room remained, and all staff and students were required to learn how to use the machines properly.
Beryl and Sue, the dinner ladies, hung up their overalls and went back to wherever they came from. The serving area was removed, and dinner was once again served the usual, magical way.
Owl post resumed, and twenty four students received overdue Howlers on the same morning.
The ghosts came back out of their tower, with the exception of Peeves, who was discovered in early June still under his binding spell, in an old trunk, under a pile of dusty books, in the darkest corner of the least-used cellar.
Snape moved his classes straight back to the dungeons, untied his hair, changed back into his Muggle robes and reverted right back to his sarcastic self. It was possible to detect a slight thawing in his manner towards Hermione Granger, but you had to look hard for it.
Harry Potter finished the rest of his sixth year at Hogwarts, gaining six detentions, all from Snape, and passed his exams with reasonable marks. Gryffindor won the football cup for the first time, the Quidditch cup for the third time in four years and the house cup for the sixth time in sixth years.
Hogwarts School passed the OFSTED inspection, and was rated 'very good'.
"It's been a strange year." Harry mused as they boarded the Hogwarts Express for the journey back to platform 9 ¾.
"You can say that again." Ron wedged Pig's cage into the luggage rack and draped his cloak over it to stop the little owl from hooting constantly. "OFSTED, You-Know-Who defeated, being friends with Malfoy."
"You playing football." Hermione joked as she settled into a seat. She'd managed to pass five 'AS' levels as well as all of her end of year exams. Ron grinned. He'd really taken to the Muggle sport, and was planning to teach his brothers next time they came home.
"It's going to be very peaceful next year." Harry said as the train pulled out of the station. "Nothing to worry about."
"Nothing to worry about? We've got NEWTs next year, remember!" Hermione sounded shocked.
"Some things never change." Draco Malfoy wandered into the carriage.
"What do you want?" Ron's rude tone was clearly meant as a joke.
"Hermione leant me a book, I found it when I was packing and didn't get a chance to give it back before we left." Draco held out the book. Hermione got to her feet.
"Thanks Draco." She took the book back and started to stuff it into her bag, which was on the luggage rack above Ron's head.
"Harry, can I have a word with you outside?" Draco nodded his head towards the corridor. Puzzled, Harry stepped out of the carriage, and looked back in time to see Draco neatly knock Hermione's feet out from under her as he passed, toppling her into Ron's lap. He pulled the compartment door closed behind him without looking back and they both moved a few feet down the corridor.
"Nicely done." Harry grinned. Draco shrugged and smiled.
"I was fed up of them avoiding the subject." Hermione's squeals of outrage had quickly subsided, and Harry had a pretty good idea of what was going on back in the compartment.
"It's about time."
"If I had to watch them avoiding the subject for another year, I would have gone mad."
Harry grinning at the one person he never thought he'd be friends with.
"It makes me wonder what's left to happen next year…"