Himayura Hidekaz owns Hetalia.

Warning- May contain some racial slurs or "speaking the lord(s) name in vain." I don't mean to offend ANYONE!

Spiker's says "ed"

APHAPHAPH

Press Ctrl + F and put in any one of these numbers for the ending that you want. WOOT!

(1.) Turkey (2.) Russia (3.) Germany (4.) Prussia (5.) Himself! Fuck yeah!*Parody*

1. Turkey

America sat down on the bed while waiting on Russia. He was calling Turkey to discuss selling America to him.

"Hello, Sadiq?" He heard Russia say. "It's Russia. I have some... Things, to discuss with you... I might sell America to you after all! You see, he..."

"Wait!" America interrupted. "Let me leave before you tell him, okay?" He looked at him with tears in his eyes. Russia nodded and waved towards the door. "Thank you..." America whispered before leaving the room.

"Okay. Now that America is gone, um... Germany was here before you, and... Well, I don't understand how, nor am I going to think about it, but... America got pregnant, but the baby died."

"...Wha'? He... Wha'?"

"Germany. He bought America's body and got him pregnant..."

"America... The... Male, as in, not'ta woman or hermaphrodi'..."

"Male nation. How many of them are there in the world, compared to female ones? How can they make so many male ones with so little female nations?"

"Um... I don't... I don't think it works like that..."

"It works in a lot of different ways~!" Russia leaned back on his chair. "The point is, we have proof that America was, indeed, pregnant."

"Well, come ta' think of it... He was actin' very... Strange... Almost in a clingy way, but... Er... No... Lemme rephrase 'dat... He was... It was like... Well, I dunno how to explain it..."

Russia giggled quietly to himself. "He wants you to take him off of me. Will you? You might have to use protection with him for now on, of course... Unless you want to try having a baby with him, but it didn't work the last time... Though, I'd understand if you wouldn't..."

"No... I mean... I'll take'im... How much?"

"Well..." Russia stared at the ceiling to think. "I guess about, a hundred and fifty thousand rubel... That would be about... Let's say eight thousand, six hundred lira.(1) I no longer have any sexual use for him, seeing that I have all three baltic nations, and because of them, he wouldn't be that much help in chores. He would be, but not that much."

There was a pause on the other line for about a minute. "...Okay. I'll be over there in a few days."

"He will be so pleased to hear!" Russia said in fake enthusiasm. "I'll tell him right away! I'll see you in a few days~!"

aphaphaph

America sighed almost nervously while waiting for Turkey to come over. He still didn't know much about Turkey, but the fact that Turkey said "yes," even after being pregnant and forced an abortion was good enough for him.

America was sitting on the edge of Russia's bed. "Thank you, Russia... Thank you very much..."

Russia pushed back on his chair and turned it towards America. "Maybe you should thank me in a... Different way." His legs parted ands stared at America, waiting for his answer.

America looked at Russia's face, and down in between his legs. He stood up and started walking towards Russia. Russia's eyes averted towards the window. "He's here."

America stopped. "Huh?" He followed Russia's eyes out the window where he saw Turkey. "Oh..."

"Oh?" Is that all you have to say? I thought you liked Turkey..."

"I do, but... I still don't know him very well..."

"Well... I really like him! He's a fun person to be around~! You just have to get to know him."

America stared at Turkey until he was at the door and couldn't be seen from the top floor anymore. "...Are you sellling me?"

"Of course I am." America felt his heart drop a little. "Otherwise I would just keep you here to do house chores."

America gritted his teeth to keep the tears in his eyes. "You sick bastard..."

Russia's smile left. "You're the one who wanted to go with Turkey. He has plenty of money, so it's almost like I'm giving you away."

"...I'll be downstairs."

Russia stood up from his chair. "I'll go with you- I have some buisiness with Turkey, after all..."

Turkey was patiently waiting in the living room for the two. He was eager to take the young nation home, despite him having an abortion forced on him.

"Hello, Turkey~! Welcome to my home~!" Turkey stood up from his seat and turned around towards the stairway.

"Thanks fer havin' me..." Turkey looked at America and smirked. "...An' fer givin' me 'merica." He extended his hand out. "Come on. Let's go."

America looked at the ground. "...If you're buying me, then that means that I'll have to fight you to get free again, once I have the energy and all to do so... I don't want to fight you... But..." Russia gripped on his shoulder and leaned over by his ear.

"Give it five years with him..." He planted a kiss on the back of his neck and let him go. "Bye-bye,~ America~!"

America walked the rest of the way down the stairs. He turned back to see Russia. "You're not going to try to get me back by going to war with him, are you?"

Russia giggled. "Not unless I don't get paid for giving you to him."

"Yes, yes..." Turkey sighed and dug out a bunch of bills from his pocket. "I'ave yer money righ'ere..." He set the money down on the side table.

"Thank you~!" Russia sang out. "Have fun at your new home, America~!"

America nodded and took Turkey's hand. "Eager, are we?"

"I just want to get out of here..." America growled. "...'Too many bad memories are here..."

"Even me?" Turkey asked, feeling almost offended.

"You were one of the few good memories... That's why I want to go already..." America tried dragging Turkey outside.

Turkey chuckled. "Um- Thank ya', again. I guess I'll see ya' later." Russia nodded and waved at them.

America sat in the back with Turkey. He looked outside with his chin resting on his palm. "Ya' look sad." America turned to him. "What 'xactly happened, if ya' don' mind me askin'." America sighed and took a deep breath...

aphaphaph

America was sitting on Turkey's bed while waiting for said man to join him. He looked down at his feet in thought. 'Does he even care...? Am I just here to keep him company..?' Turkey came inside of the room carrying candles.

"These are supposed ta' make ya' feel good..." He sat one down on each side of the bed on a little table before lighting them. "Maybeh they will help ya' relax a littl'... Though I und'rstan' why ya're nervous."

America looked up at Turkey. "What if it doesn't work?"

Turkey shrugged. "Then it doesn' work." He sat down and placed a hand on America's right knee. "I'd understand if ya' don' wanna righ' now..."

America shook his head. "No- I'll do it. I'm just a little tired... You know, from the long ride and all..."

"I understand. I'll jus' haf'ta' get ya' in the mood, I guess..." He leaned over to brush his lips against the other man's chapped ones. "Russian climates are unforgivin'... I migh' have somethin' ta' help with yer lips."

America took a deep breath, letting the scent from the candles take over his brain. "...After this... Okay?"

Turkey smirked. "I'll be careful not ta' hurt ya' lips ta' much." He towered over America's body to dominate his neck...

aphaphaph

Two months later, and the only signs of America being pregnant was the fact that he couldn't control his hormones still. This meant nothing to the two seeing how he was already hormonal over the abortion. He wasn't having any cravings, nor was he growing.

Right now, America was sitting on Turkey's bed, poking gently at his stomach. Turkey sighed and joined him, placing a gloved hand on his stomach.

"I guess it jus' wasn' meant ta' be..." He kissed the top of America's head. "And at least ya' don' haf'ta' go through the whole abortion thin' again..." America nodded and rested his head against Turkey's shoulder.

"When Russia said that I might be pregnant, I was hoping it was with your child..." He took a deep breath and sighed. "You were the most gentle of the three, and... I really like you..."

Turkey smiled softly. "I like ya' too... Ya' can leave, as soon as yer ready." America's eyes widen and he hugged around Turkey's stomach...

APHAPHAPH

I don't want any "oh, but he didn't get a baby" bullshit. I'm fucking pissed off right now, so you should just be happy that I went as realistic as a mpreg fic can get, and that I didn't kill off America like I wanted to.

2. Russia

"It's too bad..." Russia started. "I really wanted a kid for my own... Though I'm not sure if my home is a very good place to raise children... Plus, what would I tell them if I were to adopt? "Your daddies are nations?"

"Russia..."

Russia snapped out of his thoughts and looked at America. "Hm?"

"I... I want a child... Rather it's our own or adopted..." He looked up at the large Russian. "But he or she has to learn english."

Russia smiled and nodded. "Да, of course! We'll adopt a baby." America's eyes widen a little.

"Th-Thank you..." He relunctantly hugged Russia's arm.

"Now then, for the names... I want it to be Russian, so a Russian name will be best, I think."

"I don't think it matter if the name's Russian, American, or even Chinese, as long as it's not British, I'll be fine with it." Russia chuckled, finding America's grudge against England cute.

"How about... Sofiya, meaning "wisdom" for a girl, and Sergei for a male. That name is from the Roman word "Sergius," which means "respected."

America scrunched his eyebrows together. "Sofia is a Russian name?"

"Sofi-ya," is Russian."

"Sofi-ya... Okay." He smiled. "I like it. Sergei, too. It sounds strong, and it means what he should be... "Respected." He better be." America stood up. "Do you know where there's an orphanage?"

Russia looked up at the ceiling, humming. "Um... Yes, I think so. If not, than I'll just ask somebody~!"

America looked away from Russia. "...I hate you-"

Russia's smile went away. "That's not nice!"

"Why are you being so nice to me now?"

Russia had to take a second to think. "Well, I can't sell your body anymore, and we want the same thing- a child. We can't get one alone, and can't get one with each other, UNLESS you're with me."

America looked confused. "What? Why?"

Russia chuckled. "Because we're both guys, of course!"

"No, I mean, why are you such an exception?"

Russia shrugged. "I dunno. They just don't question me, and when they seem to do, they just change their minds at the last second."

'I wonder why...' America thought to himself. 'But I'M not afraid of him!' "Are we gonna go?"

"You want to go right now?"

America shrugged. "Why not?"

"Well, you just said that you hated me..."

"Well, unless you'll let me go home like this... I really want to take care of someone..."

Russia took America's wrist. "Well then, let's go~!"

APHAPHAPH

Again, I want NO COMPLAINING about how I didn't show what baby they got. My choice would be a blonde girl with brown eyes... I will probably draw that sometime... But now you can just assume that it was whatever you wanted or whatever... Even a hermaphrodite!

3. Germany *Taking place during America's stay at Germany's.*

Germany placed America down on his bed gently. America carefully rolled over on his side. Germany got on the bed with him and ran his hand down America's waist, to his thigh, and up again. America wrapped his hand around Germany's wrist to stop him.

"I don't think I should be moving around a lot, because of my stitches..."

"'You don't have to. Just let me do everything." Germany whispered into the American's ear.

"But then my stitches would rub against the bed. I don't want to risk opening the cut up..."

"We can always do it lying sideways, like we're doing now..." He kissed America's neck.

"Stop... At least wait until the stitches are out." America sighed and curled up. "I... Do want a living child, though..."

Germany nodded and brought America's back closer to him with a hug. He was careful of America's stitches. "Then... Maybe we should raise one ourselves... We can go to America to adopt one- America because I'm assuming that you want to be able to talk to him or her."

"I do... I still don't... I mean... I almost wanted it to die, because it wasn't made consensually... But it was mine." Germany buried his nose in the back of America's neck.

"Please understand... Russia was offering me food. He was trying to get rid of some rice that I'm guessing he had for a while, so he gave me doubled the worth of what I gave him. I was able to eat, with Prussia... Two times a day if we needed it... Plus, when I saw you like that..." Germany shivered. "I really couldn't resist... I don't know how Russia did..."

America closed his eyes to think about those words. "I don't remember hearing anything about him feeding you. I thought you were just... A lonely bastard that needed a fuck before heat, or rent!"

"Or food?" Germany's fingers gently ran down America's waist and back up. "I was relunctant about the baby for a reason... I was worried that I wouldn't be able to feed it, or even buy it clothes to keep it warm... Or a crib, even... I was afraid that it wouldn't survive, and we would have to place it in a Russian orphanage just so it can survive..."

"I would be afraid that Russia would kill it even then, though..." America started tearing up.

"He wouldn't. Remember when he allowed me to grab the baby so at least it would give birth, so at least it would survive? He just wanted it to be his..." He slid his fingers down America's chest. "Plus I know that you hate me..."

America gasped a little to himself. "N-No... I mean... I... I understand the situation... I was also hungry... I needed to be strong for my people, quite literally... I would probably r-rape y... You, too... If only I would get food that would last me for at least a week... I'm sorry."

"For what?" Russia kissed the back of America's neck. "Don't worry about that. I'm actually kind of tired right now, so... Go to sleep, okay? I promise I won't do anything above holding you. I need to sleep too, after all..."

America nodded in agreement. "Just... Don't touch me with your fingers... It tickles." He felt Germany's nose going up and down on his neck in a nod before he sighed.

"Gut nacht, Amerika...* We'll try going to America by using our positions of the world tomorrow..."

"Thank you..." America whispered in a tired voice.

aphaphaph

A few days later, in America *Goddammitcardgamesftw...*

America and Germany were riding in a cab to America's house. "Do you know where an orphanage is, even?"

America nodded. "There's one by my house... About ten minutes away."

"Okay... But what about names? If you want an infant, then we would have to name it..." America shrugged and stared out the window.

"Holy shit!" The driver slammed on his brakes. Both America and Germany were forcefully pulled forward, only to be pulled back by their seat-belts.

"What the Hell did you do that for?" Germany demanded.

The driver pointed towards his window. "A little girl... She ran in front of the car and went that way..."

"What?" America unhooked his seat-belt and ran outside.

"Alfred?" Germany got out of the car as well. "Alfred!"

America ran in the direction the driver was pointing at. "Little girl? Wait, little girl!" He ran into a dead-end, where the girl was cornered. She stared at him with wide, blue eyes and shook in fear.

"Wh-Who are you..?"

America stopped and looked at the girl. She was wearing dirty, ripped clothes, with no shoes. "Where are your parents?"

"P-Parents..? I don't have any... I... I mean... Unless the various care-givers counts... I had a lot a parents, then... D-Don't make me go back, please..."

"Alfred!" Germany grabbed America by his shoulder. "What were you thinking, running off like that?"

"You're an orphan? Where are you going?" America asked, ignoring the German.

"B-Back..." She said in a meek voice. "I've been moved from family to family... This one, though, hits me... I think the mother is sick, at least, that's what the big sister tells us... I'm going back to the last family... They were nicer..."

"Wow..." America muttered to himself. "What's your name?"

"Cl... Claira..." The small brunette answered.

"Claira, huh?" America walked towards the little girl. "What's your last name again, Ludwig?"

"Um, it's "Beilschmidt..." Why?" Germany asked, confused.

"Beel... Shim..." America tried sounding out the syllables. "Um..." He lifted Claira up into his arms. "Claira Jones..."

"Wh-What..?" She asked.

"I agree- what? Claira... Jones? As in, your last name?"

"She needs a loving family..." America ran his hand through the short, dirty brown hair. "If you don't want a child, then I can just get my brother to help..."

"You... You're taking her home with you?"

"Are you?" The little girl asked, thinking that it was too good to be true. America nodded.

"We were going to adopt a child today, anyway... She even has blue eyes, like us! And her hair is brown! Almost as dark as her aunts!"

"Aunt?" Germany asked. "Wh... Why? And... Who's the aunt? What?"

"Well, actually..." He smiled. "She's my "step-sister" from Francis' side. She's from Seychelles."

"Am I going to have two daddies?" Claira asked, confused.

"I don't know..." He turned to Germany. "Is she? Or is she only going to have one? You can teach her German if you want- I don't mind."

"Wh... What about school? What about food, and... And a bed..."

"She can be home-schooled. We can go to my house to grab the bed from there and send it to your house, and she can sleep on there! I do have a can or two of soup, still, I think..."

"Most of all- what about Ivan?" America's eyes widen. "How would he react to Claira?"

"I won't let him hurt her!" America's grip on the girl tightened. "I'll nuke his nation, if I have to!"

"I would like to see that..." He muttered to himself, then he sighed. "We should at least properly adopt her, otherwise it would be exactly like kidnapping her."

"So... I'm going to have two daddies?" America smiled softly and nodded.

"Thank you, Ludwig..."

Germany looked at his soon to be daughter and smiled softly as well. "To replace the one we lost..." He whispered to himself quietly.

APHAPHAPH

Now Spiker's says- "1wsaAWS" before sitting on my keyboard. Thanks. Thank you so much for sitting on my laptop with your puppy butt. I appreciate it.

Spiker's: (Translated) "You better!"

Also, do you know how paper is made? "A man-tree puts his penis..."

4. Prussia *Takes place after America leaves Germany's room*

"Are you awake, bruder?"*

Prussia turned towards the now opened door. "Yeah... Why..?"

"America would rather sleep with you, and not alone."

Prussia snickered in his traditional laugh. "Who doesn't wanna sleep with me?"

America walked over to the bed. "Thank you..."

"No problem. I'll do more than just let you sleep with me- if you want."

"Bruder!" Germany interrupted him. Prussia snickered.

"Oh well, I tried. Gut nacht, bruder."

"Don't touch him in his sleep." Germany growled.

"I won't! Mein Gott!* I was just offering my awesome body to him..." He plopped down on his own bed. Germany left the two alone once he was pretty sure his brother wouldn't do anything.

"Thanks again, for letting me stay in your bed with you for the night..."

"No problem!" A small, yellow bird flew on Prussia's lap and chirped while looking at America. "He's curious of you!" Prussia let out a "kesese" sounding snicker.

America stared at the bird. He lifted his hand, but was relunctant. "Can... May I... Pet him?"

"Yeah!" Prussia answered happily. "Of course you can!"

America reached over slowly to pet Gilbird's head with two of his fingers. "He's really cute..." He whispered, as though he didn't want to scare the bird.

"Isn't he? His name is "Gilbird," by the way."

America brought his hand back. "Gilbird..." As in, "Gilbert" and "bird?"

"Duh! The most awesome bird in the world has to be named after the most awesome anyone and anything in the world- me!" Gilbird chirped happily and flew on a comfortable spot by the side table. "Hey, America... I know we just met and all, but if you don't want to adopt a child with Germany, I'll be the father instead..."

America stared at Prussia's face for any sign of that being either a lie or a joke. "R... Really? I-I mean... A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure... I mean, I'm already the best at just about anything- but I'm not a father... Yet!" He snickered to himself. "I like you, a lot. I would obviously want to get to know you better, but that shouldn't be a problem, right? We can just talk like this!"

America hugged Prussia's naked chest by instinct. "Thank you! Thank you... Thank you, very much!"

"N-No problem!" Prussia ran his hand on America's head gently. "I would be happy to be the father of your child..." America rubbed his face against Prussia's chest.

"Your chest feels so good against my cheek..." America moved on top of Prussia so he could wrap his arms around the other man's waist. "So soft... Uh..." America moved away. "I'm... I'm sorry about that..."

"Don't be..." Prussia moved America's head back on his chest. "I understand... In fact, you can rub against whatever you like~!" He smirked. "But, that literally means, "whatever." You can just continue rubbing your face against my chest... I don't mind."

"Thank you..." America's cheek brushed against one of Prussia's nipples by accident. "But what about Russia..?"

"I can take him on. Plus, we'll be in Prussia. He probably won't even think of looking there." He sighed, tired. "Or maybe he will. I dunno... I'm a bit more worried about Germany, though... How he would react to me taking you?"

America thought to himself for a second. "Why would he care?" He finally asked, not coming up with a reason to why himself.

"Because, he was going to use you to, at least, lower the labor France would put on him... Um... But I suppose you could just tell him that you're here and safe with mister awesome himself!"

"Would..." He paused to think. "Wouldn't we have to explain to him that..."

"No." Prussia answered immediately. "Unless, of course, you want to..."

America stared at his covered knees. "Um... I don't know... Would Germany... Or... Or Russia... Would either one of them tell France himself?"

"I... Maybe you should talk to France with Germany... Or, discuss it with him before talking to France..." America nodded and layed down on his side, facing Prussia.

"Good night, Prussia, and thank you, again." Prussia ran his hand in America's hair.

"No problem! Good night, America. Gut nacht, Gilbird..." Prussia yawned- awesomely- and lie down next to America.

aphaphaph

America looked down at the small bowl of rice. "You... You don't need to feed me..."

"No- it's no problem." Germany pulled the spoon of rice up to his mouth.

"Um... I'm... Going with Prussia..." America heard metal clanking against glazed clay.

"Why? What will that solve?" Germany growled.

"I want to get to know him." America looked up at Prussia. "I... I said that I'll adopt a child with him if I do... Otherwise, I'll just take care of him. I've been meaning to live by hunting, fishing, and such, anyway."

"If you can even find anything! I'm sure you're not the only one with that idea..." I took Germany a second for him to think about everything Prussia said. "What? Child? And with a stranger?"

"He's not really a stranger any more. We talked a lot last night, plus, we're both nations. We already know each other kind of. Also, I know France pretty well, so if he's anything like France..."

"I'm not nearly as perverted as he is. He wasn't around that much. I lived with England. France just found... Um... My... Twin brother, first... And Seychelles. They're both not nearly as perverted as France, still. I'm not even sure if my twin brother is even perverted, at all."

"You have a twin brother?" Germany asked, surprised. "Prussia just talked about how nations knows each other's family, but..."

"I knew about his brother." Prussia spoke up. "France talks about him all the time."

"You do? Who's his brother?"

"He's... Um... He's... He's north of America... He has Quebec."

"His nickname is Mattie. It's short for... Matt...hew."

"Matthew?"

"Uh-huh." America brought the empty bowl to the sink. "Is it okay for me to use the sink?"

"Um..." Germany took a second to think about it. "No. Don't worry about it. Thank you, though..."

"No problem! I-If I can help with anything, though... Just let me know."

"Well..." Germany stood up with his bowl. "You could just come with me when I leave to go to France instead of going with someone you met two nights ago."

"Do you not trust me with a kid or something?" Prussia argued. "Mein Gott, Germany!"

Germany sighed. "Are you even listening to yourself, bruder? You want a child all of a sudden, with a stranger."

Prussia looked down at his empty bowl. "Maybe... I dunno... I was tired last night... But I do want to take America. He would be safer I think... By the time Russia maybe figures it out, we'll hopefully be better economically."

"That... Makes me feel better a bit... He's going to tell France though, right?" Germany asked while trying to clean the dishes by using a less amount of soap and water as he possible could and still get them clean.

"Of course I am! He knew that I was in Russia, so I want him to know that I'm okay now... Plus, I think you do need a break... You were... Going to be..." Prussia rubbed his back, hoping to comfort him.

"Thank you, America..." Germany forced a small smile. "I really do appreciate it."

"I-I want to thank you both, too... For saving me and making me feel comfortable here."

"No problem! I really like getting to know you!" Prussia snickered.

"I should probably... Wait for France now..." Germany grimaced.

"I'll wait with you- I want to see him... Did I just say that? I thought that I would never say those words together..." Prussia laughed at America's words.

aphaphaph

Hours later... Yes, I know, but come on- longest chapter ever.

"We're here, America." Prussia pushed America's shoulder.

America snapped back to reality. "Really? But you stopped in the middle of a bunch of trees..."

"Ja." Prussia opened the car door. "That's where all the animals should be... So we can eat. There's also a pond near by where we can fish. Now for the tour of my awesome house!" Gilbird chirped happily...

aphaphaph

Prussia grabbed his shotgun. "Do you want to help me get food? I have a fishing pole you can use."

America sat up eagerly. "Y-Yeah! I'll help with whatever I can..." Prussia smirked and handed America a fishing pole.

"Um... I don't have any real bait, yet... I have this pink rubber thing that looks like a worm, though..." Prussia stabbed the fake worm with the hook. "You'll probably have to dig for real ones though, if that doesn't work. Is that okay? I do have a small shovel... And Gilbird. He'll help you find worms, right, Gilbird? Go with America!" Gilbird chirped and few over to America.

America held a hand out for the bird. "He's very smart. My pet whale isn't as smart as him. Not at all."

"Yep! He's pretty damn awesome like..." Prussia opened the door for them, but then paused when he registered everything America just said. "You're uh... Pet whale?"

America grinned proudly. "Yep! I saved him in Japan! Unfortunately, I haven't been able to feed him, so hopefully Tony is."

"...Tony?" Prussia asked, but he wondered if he even wanted to know.

"He's my friend! He'll stay with me sometimes."

"Oh." Prussia chuckled. "Anyway, I'll lead you to the pond."

"Okay..." America followed Prussia. He stared at the albino's back and blushed a little... "I really do want to do anything I can do to help, but I don't think it will be enough..." He whispered.

aphaphaph

I'm sorry for all the time skipping.

America stared down at his food. He couldn't look up at Prussia without blushing. "I really do appreciate it..."

"No problem. I really like you, you know? You're really awesome. Not as awesome as me, of course, but..."

"I want to get to know you better... After dinner?"

Prussia looked up at America. "Why are you staring at your food like that?"

America shrugged. "I... When you offered your body to me at Germany's... That was just a joke, right?"

"Of course not! Unless you wanted it to be. I won't hurt you. I won't even touch you if you don't want it... How do you feel? I know that after what happened... You'll be so emotional. Very hormonal. Is the food good?"

America nodded and stuffed a bite full of meat in his mouth. "You're so nice to me... Why?"

"Why? Because..." Prussia stopped to think. "Um... Because... You remind me of me, almost! Plus, you're cute and young. I do like someone, but Germany also likes him, and he has a much better chance with him."

"You... Think I'm "cute?" America asked, almost not believing it, despite what others told him before.

"Yeah! Especially when you're being all meek and innocent-like. Your making it hard for me not to take your "vital region."

America looked down a bit more to hide his red face. "Can you save the rest of my food? I'm not very hungry... I think I'm going to go to bed."

Prussia cocked his head a little to the left. "Yeah, sure... Just let me handle your plate, okay?"

"Thanks..." America pushed the plate aside and left the room. Once he walked into the bedroom, he removed his shirt, tossing it some where on the floor, and got under the covers on the bed. 'I hope that he'll come into bed with me...' He waited a few minutes before getting out of bed and out of the room. "Prussia?"

Prussia turned to the voice. "America? Is something wrong? Are you too cold?"

"N... I... In a way, I guess..." His eyes averted to the floor.

"You look red... Do you..." America looked away, panting. He smirked. "Do you have a cold or something?"

"Could you just... Come to bed with me? It's... Kinda cold, alone... In bed..."

"I'm not tired."

America grabbed his right forearm. "...I'm not either..."

"You know..." Prussia stood up. "I know a very good way to warm two or more bodies up..." He noticed that America took his shirt off. "And you're already half way there! Though, I need your permission. Also, you should take the rest of your clothes off."

America paused before unbuttoning his pants. "...You too, Prussia. Not just me..."

aphaphaph

"You're so cute!" Prussia chuckled while rubbing America's waist lovingly. "I don't know if I want to take your regions."

"Please do!" America gasped and looked away. "I-I didn't mean to sound desperate..."

Instead of getting excited, Prussia felt almost bad for America that he got the American this far. He felt like he was taking advantage of the hormones. "Are you absolutely sure?"

America glared at Prussia with an annoyed look on his face. "Do it before I push you down and ride you... Please!"

"Uh..." Prussia covered his mouth. 'Th-That... Sounds hot...' He thought to himself. "Now I really don't know what I want to do..."

America threw his hands around Prussia's neck and slid his knees up so they were in the air and furthur apart from each other. "I don't care what you do right now... As long as you fucking fuck me in the end..." He panted. "I really like you, Prussia..."

Prussia smirked and positioned himself. "Prepare for the best fuck you'll ever have..."

aphaphaph

'Sorry.

In the month America has been staying with Prussia, they've gotten to know each other much better. America was considering to finally adopting a child with Prussia, though he was nervous and relunctant.

"I'm going out to hunt, America. Do you want to come with me again?"

America looked up at Prussia. "Um... No... I'm sorry... I'm not really feeling good today..."

Prussia's eyes widen and he ran over to the American. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

America's body was shaking. "I feel like I'm about to puke..."

Prussia smiled nervously. "L-Let's go to the bathroom so I don't have to clean it up, okay?" He helped America stand and escorted him to the bathroom and over the toilet just in time. He started rubbing circles against America's back when he started heaving.

America stared at Prussia in fear. "Prussia... I think I'm getting... "Fatter..."

"What?" Prussia looked at him like he was crazy. "You've just been eating a lot more meat lately... A lot more... In fact, that's kind of why I've been needing to go out so muh-" He paused to put the situations together. "I... Have to make a quick phone call... I'll help you into bed."

"P-Prussia..." He started crying. "I don't want another miscarriage..."

"Don't think that, okay?" Prussia carefully lowered America down on his back. "I'll be right back, o-okay?" He ran into the living room and picked up the phone, shakingly dialing a specific phone number.

"Hallo?"

"West!" Prussia screamed into Germany's ear. "I-I don't know what to do... Our stupid awesome sperm... America... He's... I think..."

"Bruder, please calm down and talk slowly. I can't understand a word you're staying."

"I think..." Prussia took a deep breath. "I think that I just... I think that America is showing signs of pregnancy..." Prussia pulled the phone away from his ear before he goes deaf. There was a long pause, so he relunctantly placed it back. "B-Bruder..?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Prussia dropped the phone in shocked. "You said that you'd take care of him! At least I had an excuse to rape him! A poor one, but... You had no motive to-"

"He wanted it!" Prussia yelled, picking up the phone again. "He wanted it. I kept on asking if he was absolutely sure, but he kept on saying "yes" and seducing me..."

"...What? How can you... You can't afford..."

"I have been selling the extra meat so it wouldn't go bad... I've been making money without having to spend it so much... I've been filtering water my self. I've been getting food my self. All I have to pay for are heat and electricity."

"But do you still have the money for medical, bruder? Do you even have insurance?"

"I have Prussia. I'll make them help America if I have to. I was just wondering if you happened to have any books on pregnancy..."

"A few... Um... For now, just... He needs vitamins, and lots of rest. One pill a day. I'll be over there as soon as I can with the books, and some rice..."

"Thank you, bruder... I guess I'll see you in a day or so, then?"

"Ja. Bye..." Germany hung up first. Prussia stared at the phone for a while before finally doing the same.

"Vitamins... Okay." He walked out of the house with the money he had...

aphaphaph

Five months... They were already over half way through without complication- besides the fact that a male is pregnant. France had been contacted and he offered to help. Now the two has a personal problem to deal with...

"So... What should we name it?" America finally asked.

"Gilbert Junoir." Prussia said automatically.

"But... What if it's a girl?"

"Oh shit... Um..." He moved his head side to side while thinking. "Well... I decided on the boy name, so you should decide on the girl name."

"Um..." America stared down at his stomach. "...Alice."

"Alice..." Prussia repeated. "Like... The female version of your name, Alfred~?"

America's cheeks turn a slight pink shade. "Hey! You're the one who wants to name it after your self!"

Prussia snickered. "Of course. An awesome baby's gotta have an awesome name!"

America sighed. "Of course..." He rubbed his buldging stomach and sighed again. "...I love you."

Prussia blushed and turned away. "Y-Yeah... I know... Everybody loves me..." He chuckled nervously. "I... I love you too... Almost as much as my self..."

"Mm-hmm..." America continued to rub his stomach. "I know." He looked up at Prussia. "...Kiss?"

"Of course..." Prussia lowered his face towards America's, before going past it to kiss the round stomach.

"Hey!" America pouted.

Prussia chuckled and rubbed his cheek against the covered stomach. "Hi, baby~! Are you gonna be a Gilbert, or an Alice?"

"...What would the chances of a girl be? We're both guys... Seychelles is onlya step sister, or... Something. Do you have a female relative?"

"I don't think so... Unless Germany's been keeping secrets fro me... Just like Hungary, though I found out before her... And she's not really related to me, though... I don't think I have any real relations to Austria, either... Or..." He threw his hands up in the air. "Nation relations are confusing!"

"Speaking of which... What would the baby be? We're both nations... But..." They stared at each other for a minute, exchanging "uh's."

"Maybe it would be... A micro-nation? Or maybe... A state?"

America shook his head. "No. It wouldn't be a state, because we're both nations, and we're in different parts of the world."

"Well, whatever it turns out to be, it's ours, and I love it..." He kissed the stomach again, before standing up and kissing America's forehead. "We'll find out what it is in less than three months." America nodded...

aphaphaph

I'm starting to feel like the BP guy on "South Park" with these apologies.

Nine months and a few days. After nine months, America was in the hospital, waiting for the baby. They made an agreement with Prussia not to ask, and not to experiment on America.

"We made it to nine months. My sperm is so awesome~!" Prussia sang to himself. The baby was late, but America could feel it wanting to come out now. He gripped Prussia's wrist.

"Doctor..." America groaned in pain.

Prussia's eyes widen in shock. "Now?" He stood up from the chair. "Finally! Doc!" He ran out of the room, leaving America alone with his screams of pain.

"Hurry! I don't want it to die!" He screamed in pain. Several doctors came into the room with Prussia.

"We're going to perform a c-section..." One of them told Prussia. "You can't be in here for this." Prussia nodded and turned to leave.

America could barely see Prussia leaving behind the group of people surrounding him. He reached out for his albino lover. "Wait..." He was interrupted when one of the doctors placed a mask over his nose and mouth and gas filled his mind.

"He be back when done. Promise." One of them tried reassuring America. He felt his eye lids getting heavier and heavier by the minute before finally passing out...

He blinked a few times when he woke up again. He groaned while trying to remember where he was and why. 'Um...' He blinked again, as though trying to clear his mind, then they widened. 'The baby!' He tried sitting up, but he was pushed back down by two pairs of hands.

"The doctors told us that you have to stay down, mon Amerique."* America scrunched his brows together.

"...France?"

"Ouais~!* Germany's here too."

'Well, that explains the extra two hands...' America thought to himself.

"England's coming over too, though I don't know if he should be allowed in here. He seemed pretty angry to find out about the baby after he was born~!"

America tried sitting up again, but black gloved-covered hands pushed him down again. "Where's my baby?" It took a second to register the last three words. "He?"

"Don't worry." Prussia walked over to his view with a small, blanket-covered infant in his hands. "Junoir's right here..."

America held his arms out. "I want to see..." Prussia stared at the boy's face before finally giving him to his "mother." He stared up at his "mother" for the first time with his blue eyes. America noticed that he also had blond eye-lashes. "Hello..." He whispered, smiling softly. "Nice to finally meet you, Gilbert junoir..."

France wiped America's face with a handkerchief. America didn't even know that he was crying. "So... Does this make me a grandfather?" France asked to no one in particular. "I look too young to be a grandfather!"

"So does Germania and Rome..." Germany interrupted. "Have you seen what they look like?"

"Of course I have! I hang out with Gilbert a lot, so I got to see Germania when we were much younger. Right, Gilbert~?" France turned to Prussia, who was distracted by his new baby son.

"I'm so happy..." America whispered.

"Me too..." Prussia planted a kiss on America's forehead. "For you and me both."

APHAPHAPHAPH

D'aw. Finally...

5. Himself... Like a parody to "SimsGirl"

"I don't need anyone! I'm America! Dammit!"

Every reader who just read this: "Worst... Chapter... Ever..."

APHAPHAPH

I was going to have a Belarus/America ending, as well. I started it, but I didn't like where it was going and scrapped it. I would have to tell you to read "So Close And Yet..." first, because it would take place right after a certain chapter, that would probably be confusing to read first. (It's like the... Third to last, out of... Eighty-five?)

I'm feeling sick. Also, how did 4Kids get YuGiOh if they knew that they would have to edit out a lot of blood?

*Has been watching a lot of YuGiOh The Abridged Series...* ... "Don't wave your yaoi around in public!"

It's like Silent Hill... "Bad Ending?" "Okay Ending." "Good Ending" "Best Ending" "Joke ending..." And of course, "Alien Ending..." Only I decided not to have that because... It would be very stupid. Think of this as "Silent Hill 4- The Room" with a joke ending to it...

I need to get the silly out of me... Excuse me while I make silly AMVs. (BrindaTatsuki on YouTube... I'm also "WrinryRockbellFMA," but that doesn't accept my AMVs anymore...)

(Story 1.) (1) Almost five thousand U.S. dollars.

*Translating time, bitches!*

(3.) "Gut nacht, Amerika" - "Good night, America"

(4.)"Bruder" - "Brother"

"Mein Gott" - "My God"

(French) "Amerique" - "America"

"Ouais" - "Yeah"