Summary: "Then could you please give me an explanation to why you would be protecting that piece of...shit!" Renji is once again risking the wrath of Byakuya, but why? the story is better than the summary, i hope. M for bad words and maybe more later!
this has not been checked so typo warning!
I flung myself between Senbonzakura and its target; i expected to feel those tiny blades shredding my flesh, spilling my blood, making ribbons of pain dance on my skin. But the only pain i felt was me crashing sideways on to my taicho's desk, rolling off said desk and becoming personally acquainted with the floor.
"Renji, would you kindly explain why you are protecting that abomination?" quietly spoke a clearly furious captain of the 6th division
"huh?" that was all i could say as i picked myself of the floor blushing slightly at my ungraceful landing.
"Are you going to make me repeat the question?" he was getting more angry by the second, if i was any less of a man i would have been crappin' myself, scratch that I was crappin myself.
"no..uh..well..im..err." i stuttered, i don't even know what i was trying to say.
"Are you by any chance protecting it because you enjoyed any par..."
"GOD SHIT NOOOOOO THAT ISN'T IT" ok when I look back on it I might have said that a tad too loud and i may have been a little defensive.
"Then could you please give me an explanation to why you would be protecting that piece of...shit" he snarled out, if possible narrowing his steel gray eyes even further than before, until they were just slits.
"Wait did you just..." I kept replaying it my head and he had defiantly done it, Byakuya Kuchiki had sworn...
A slow small smirk spread across his noble face really it was just a quirking of his luscious lips wha...luscious did i just oh...
"I would advise that you close your mouth before a hollow thinks it's a cave and tries to live in it" he said still smirking. Cutting my thoughts off and If possible my mouth hung even lower and my eyes began to bulge out of their sockets as I formed a list in my head:
The impossible thing that i would like to see happen, but will never happen.
Ichigo like chappy
Rukia hate chappy
Byakuya have an emotional outburst of any kind
Byakuya ever joke again (yes he made a jokeonce)
Ichigo not frown for more that 10 minutes
Urahara not have an ulterior motive while he helps someone
Me swim in taiyaki
Byakuya swear
Shunshi not talk about having sex/ trying to have sex with me at every possibility
Shunshi not try and have sex with Rangiku
Shunshi try not to have sex with anything that moved that is even vaguely attractive (man he is such a whore sometimes)
Ichigo ever tell Byakuya that he is dating Rukia
"Ichigo is dating Rukia" came a cold voice
"Yer didn't y... i said that list out loud didn't i"
"Yes, you did fukutaicho."
"Dam...did i sa.."
"Yes, you said the whole list" he cut in
"Dam"
"You now have three options Abarai fukutaicho" he said in a tone of voice that would send even the espada running away with their tail between their legs.
"H..hai" never mind crapin it, i was fucking shitting bricks now.
"Option one: allow me to destroy that thingthen apologise profusely, beg to be forgiven, work over time, and do both our paperwork for the next decade."
"D..d..decade" I stuttered.
"Option two" he carried on, ignoring me "you explain to me why i haven't been informed of my sisters relationship with Kurosaki Ichigo, and depending on your answer is how excruciatingly painful i will make your death." His voice kept deadly calm and i knew it probably wasn't a joke.
"Option three: you tell me why you are protecting that bullshit and why i shouldn't destroy you along with it, depending on your answer is if you will get to keep all your limbs or if i just kill you and be done with it." i gulped, this was bad, really bad, if only Rukia hadn't gotten that laptop, if only Rangiku hadn't found that website. If only.
My lack of sleep combined with not eating anything for the last week and the sudden stress of the situation was too much, my world went black.
FLASHBACK
I looked down at my desk and my desk looked at me. My brown desk looked at me, and at that moment i could've died happy. I had done it. I Renji Abarai had finished all 4867 sheets of paper work assigned to me. Unbeknownst to me a large shit eating grin made a home on my face.
"And what do you find so amusing about your desk Abarai fukutaicho?" If my taicho's voice could kill i would be in a lot of trouble.
Shit i had been smiling hadn't i, i mentally face palmed. Normally smiling wasn't a problem, but the fact that i was meant to be being punished at the moment made it a problem, my punishment being the absurd amount of paper work if you hadn't guessed. "errr well you see..."
BANG!
"THERE YOU ARE RENJI!" yelled/squealed the voices of both Rukia and Rangiku.
" i would appreciated it if you nock before barging into my office." seriously every time Byakuya used that tone of voice i could feel years off my life running away screaming.
"oh nii-san, oh sorry we didn't think you'd be here but we can come ba..."
"NOOO IT HAS TO DO WITH HIM AS WELL!" cut off a very existed Rangiku, and whenever Rangiku was excited someone always had hell to pay, this time it would be me.
"And what is it that has to do with me?" came his cold reply.
"I thought you'd say that!" Rangiku's chirpy voice sang as she danced over to taicho's desk.
"Come on Renji this is for you as well" Rukia yelled
I slowly walked over to the desk with a feeling of impending doom in my gut.
"Rangiku..." began taicho his voice implying that there would be some serious punishment if this was going to be a waste of time.
Luck bitch...wait lucky? Why would she be lucky? Punishments are bad...right? oh holy shit don't say i turned into a masochist while i wasn't looking just my fucking god damn luck!
"Well you see it all started when Rukia here let me have a go on her laptop and i stumbled across an interesting website named fanfiction..."
Duhn duhn duhn cliff hanger...sorry i just ran out of steam so well please rate and review, this is my first story and i really love the bya/ren pairing...so well yer...i don't know will finish this so please let me know if you want it continued...! =3