This is my very first character death one-shot! ^^ I know I shouldn't be cheerful about it, seeing as I'm killing off my favorite character, but I am~

Oh! A little note: the date I used for Kankuro's death date is the day I started writing this one-shot, making him the age of 18 at the time of his death, just so you all knooow~

Enjoy and review! ^^

Sabaku no Kankuro

May 15, 1993 - August 9, 2011

Rest In Peace

His gravestone was cold as I traced the engraved words with my pointer finger. I wondered if his body was equally as cold.

Still, I didn't understand how it could have happened. Kankuro, my Kankuro, was invincible, or I thought he was, at least. But I suppose a kunai pierce to the temple could kill anyone, especially if said kunai lodged itself in his brain and was heavily coated with flesh-eating poison.

Sitting to the left of the stone, I hugged my legs to my chest. "Justice made it's way through, Kankuro," I told him. "Ganabi was put to death this morning. He should've known better than to turn against the best puppeteer this country has probably ever seen."

I waited for the usual response of: "Aw, stop it. You're making me blush." I waited and waited and waited, but only more silence came.

An empty feeling pounded into my gut. I wanted to know Kankuro was happy up there. I wanted to know he was looking down on all of us, smiling at the success of Gaara's Kazekage duties or Temari's teachings. I wanted to know he was reconnecting with generations of family members who had gone before him.

I turned my head to gaze at the larger gravestone next to Kankuro's. Maybe, just maybe, he was speaking with his father, if his father had made it up there.

Slowly, my head fell to the side until the solid object stopped it. It was nowhere near as welcoming as Kankuro's shoulder or his lap. If I would've known the last time I lazed on him would be just that, I would've appreciated it more than I did.

I closed my eyes, trying to imagine his fingers making their way through my hair or tracing random designs and words on my back. I flexed my own fingers, picturing the tips slowly running up and down the insides of his arms and the shiver that flashed through his body when my fingers found the inside of his biceps.

"Do you think I'll be okay?" I questioned him. "I mean, everything I did, I made sure you were included. I realize now what Temari meant when she said we were connected at the hip. I'm scared to go anywhere without you now."

Trips to the town market and to Gaara's office felt lonely and strange without Kankuro there, holding my hand or draping his arm across my shoulders. Without the weight of another person on me, I felt utterly small and undesirable.

"I don't enjoy Saturday mornings anymore, you know. It just doesn't feel okay waking up to an empty spot next to me."

Saturday mornings were the worst. I used to look forward to the single day of the week when neither of us were assigned to missions and when waking up took three to four hours. After three years of being with someone, its not unusual to fall into a routine.

Our routine consisted of waking up nearly at the same time and picking on each other until we found ourselves wrapped up in the other as we made love. I would kiss him one final time and slip into a silk robe he had bought me for our one-year anniversary. Then, I would cook breakfast and cuddle up to his chest as he found his way into the kitchen after a shower.

But now, there was no gasps and moans of pleasure. There was no fights of "I love you more." There was no aroma of bacon that filled our apartment. I hardly ate anything myself.

"There were so many plans we had," I muttered, blinking away tears. "What am I supposed to do with all that money we were saving up for an actual house? I can't spend it. I just can't. Gaara still needs your help. I don't know what to tell him when he needs brotherly advice. I'm not his brother."

I buried my face in my arms, unable to stop my tears. I didn't want him to see me cry. He always hated seeing me cry and would always go out of his way to make me smile, even if it meant making an idiot out of himself.

"I'm sorry for the things I did. I know I annoyed you sometimes. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you for getting upset when that guy from downstairs started flirting with me. I'm sorry I talked a lot. Even though you listened to me complain all the time, I knew what you were thinking. Things could've been worse and now they are."

Maybe this was my punishment for complaining so much about missions or losing my favorite jewelry. If I could go back in time, I would've slapped the hell out of myself and told my past self that everything would be okay because Kankuro was there.

"Cherish him while you have him," I would've told myself. "He puts up with you. He loves you. He would do anything for you. Stop whining about everything."

"I'm sorry," I repeated to him. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you everything you wanted."

Although Kankuro always said it was fine that I couldn't become pregnant because he hated little kids, I knew for a fact that it wasn't true. When my older cousin from Konohagakure visited with her two-year-old daughter and husband, I saw the look Kankuro had in his eyes.

Even though he said children annoyed him, he played with baby Saya for hours upon hours, controlling her dolls and reenacting scenes from her favorite baby television shows with them. He always flashed that flawless smile of his every time she busted into her high-pitched laughter.

I could never give him that and I hated myself for it. Kankuro always told me it was fine and he didn't love me any less because I was barren, but he wanted a child. He wanted a little clone of the two of us in hopes it would inherit his passion for the puppetry arts.

I lifted my head to wipe my eyes furiously. The ring on my finger caught my attention and I felt a tiny smile grow on my face.

Marriage.

Again, Kankuro had been completely understanding about that situation, too. He knew about my odd fear of marriage because he knew about my parents.

They had married young and about three months into it, my mother became pregnant with me. Not even a week after I was born, they filed for divorce. Six months later, my mother married a man four years older than her and my father married a woman two months younger than him.

All in all, my mother had married a total of five times during my lifetime, and my father married six times. I feared that the problems with marriage were hereditary.

I often pictured marrying Kankuro, sending my stomach into fits of butterflies. Even if it was only a small wedding with only our closest relatives (being Gaara, Temari, my mother and her two sons, and my father and his three sons and two daughters), it would've been perfect. Kankuro was a perfectionist.

However, divorce always haunted my joyous daydreams. Divorcing Kankuro was something I don't think I could've handled. My life without him was just too horrible to bear.

But now…

"I thought I'd find you here."

I turned to look up at Kankuro's older sister, Temari. It seemed the skin around her eyes was stained red just as mine was.

I hurried to stand and bow to her. After all, I was no longer engaged to her brother. Therefore, I was no longer part of their family. I had to show respect to her just as I would the Hokage.

"Hello, Lady Tem-"

She pulled me into a tight hug and buried her face into my neck. Her body shook with held-in sobs. "Don't call me that," she struggled to say. "You're still my sister-in-law, no matter what anyone says."

I placed my hands on her back, slowly rubbing up and down. She was trying her hardest to hold back her tears, too. Even though he wasn't physically there, crying in front of Kankuro was something we both hated, especially now. We both knew he would blame himself.

"How's Gaara?" I asked, taking a step away from her. Temari stared at the gravestone, slowly shaking her head back and forth.

"He's holding up better than we are, but he's secluding himself in his office. He's pushing all the paperwork off to other people."

I felt terrible for Gaara. Paperwork was something he felt obliged to do himself, often telling us he wrote his own name perfectly and others didn't do it quite right. We all knew that wasn't true, though. Gaara liked doing things on his own and hated burdening others with his work.

Kankuro was the only reliable male figure he had in his life. Without a true father in his life, Kankuro somewhat took that role for his brother, telling him of things Gaara hadn't experienced yet (he was very open about our sex life, which embarrassed me most of the time. Looking back on it now, I knew I shouldn't have cared.) and urging him to try new kinds of food. Gaara's weight was a constant worry of Kankuro's.

"I know he eats," he would say, flipping through cookbooks to find the most fattening entrées. "He just doesn't eat enough. I'll take care of that."

Temari and I stood in silence, waiting for Kankuro to jump out from behind a tree and exclaim with the biggest smile, "I got you guys! I knew I was popular with the ladies, but I didn't think you guys would cry that much!"

"We should go check on Gaara," I finally said. I knew it was selfish, but I also longed for the comfort of the Kazekage as well as Temari's.

"You're right." She placed her palm on the top of the gravestone and wiped her eyes with the back of her other palm. "I love you, little brother."

I bent down and ran my finger across his name again before placing my lips to the word "Kankuro." Giving the surface a small smile, I whispered, "I love you."

Temari's hand connected with mine as I stood. We turned away from the grave and as we walked away, my free hand suddenly felt strangely warm.

My feet came to a sudden halt and I looked to my side. I shocked gasp escaped my lips as I stared into his eyes. His hand was gripping mine tightly.

"You'll be okay," he told me. "I love you too."

"What is it?" Temari asked. I released her hand to rub at my eyes, instantly regretting my action as my arm lowered. Kankuro was nowhere to be found.

"Nothing," I replied, grabbing for her hand again. "I think we'll all be just fine."