Yet another one inspired by goings-on at Cambridge... It's handy having a friend there, no?

Disclaimer: I'm not Japanese, and my self-portrait is not a really awesome cow. So no, I'm not Hiromu Arakawa. I am, however, someone who uses her work for non-profit products of boredom and assignment-dodging such as this. Enjoy.

The boy was asleep in the office; Roy had to be threatened at gunpoint before he promised to not wake him up, no matter how funny it would be, so he had been staring at the blond since the others left wondering what else he could do. He considered piling object on top of him, but there wasn't much in the office he could put on the boy without squashing him. He was also certain Riza would count that as waking him up, so that idea was out, as was waiting until he was awake to do something – the last few times Edward had fallen asleep in the office, he had stayed there until the morning.

So, something Roy could do while Edward was asleep that wouldn't wake him.

He knew from experience not to touch him – his wrist was almost broken and Havoc received a bloody nose the first and only time they tried – so he couldn't draw on him or rearrange his position, and dipping his hand in warm water just wasn't classy.

Water... Hmm...

If the storeroom had what he needed and Edward remained asleep, it would be a long night. Roy weighed up the pros and cons and in less than a minute decided that it would be very, very worth it.

(-)

Sunlight was glaring through the window as Edward woke up. He reached up to rub his eyes with his left hand, then let it drop to hang over the sofa. His hand brushed against something, and he felt about still with his eyes shut against the light. Circles. Several circles, all a few inches above the floor. He frowned, opened his eyes and turned his head to see.

Every flat surface in the office was covered with plastic cups filled with water.

The small table, the desk, the cabinets, the entire floor was covered with them. He rolled over and leant over the edge; even the floor beneath the sofa and desk was covered with them. The only space free of the cups was a small area clear for the door to open and close.

"What the hell?"

(-)

Roy looked up from his paperwork and smirked.

"What did you do to him?" Havoc asked, staring over towards the inner office.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" Roy stood and walked over to the door, opening it and looking in at the boy. Havoc peeked over his shoulder and snorted – Edward was kneeling on the sofa, staring around the room, still in a daze from sleep and looking for all the world like a small child.

"I don't get it," the boy said.

"You aren't meant to, but I assure you it's amusing from over here. And just so you know, if you get the floor wet you'll suffer a penalty. The same goes for if you use alchemy on the cups."

Edward scowled and put his hands down. "So how the hell do I get out?"

"That's your problem." The colonel smirked and went back to his seat, leaving the door open so they could watch.

Edward poked at the cups; they were all stuck to each other, destroying his first plan of moving a few and stepping in the gaps. He couldn't move them, and he couldn't use alchemy...

Wait.

He was only banned from using alchemy on the cups – Roy hadn't said anything about not using alchemy on anything else in the room. Sitting up straighter, he looked around and made a list of what was within reach. No, that wouldn't do – the cups were attached, and he couldn't break them apart without alchemy. He'd get the floor wet if he tried it without, and he didn't want to see what Roy considered a penalty.

So that left manipulating the actual floor.

Edward looked around him some more – on closer inspection, the cups weren't all attached to each other; they were in groups of thirty or so. He could work with thirty or so.

Outside, Roy heard Edward clap his hands together.

"Remember, I said no alchemy on the cups," he called.

"Who said I was using it on the cups?" Edward shouted back over the crackle of alchemy and a loud rumbling.

The floor boards fractured into blocks beneath the groups of cups and rose up on stilts a few feet high, forming a clear path to the door without tipping any of the cups. Edward slid off the sofa and ran in a crouch underneath, making it to the door and out into the office beyond. He stood for a moment looking back into the room, then turned to smirk at Roy.

"My turn next."

As he began walking towards the main door, it opened and Riza entered with a small stack of files.

"What happened in there?"

"Ask him," Edward smiled brightly and practically skipped out into the corridor.

"Colonel... What did you do?"

"I think I just started a war..."

I realise I was lazy with this, and it's short, but I'm in the mood for fanfics (read: avoiding uni work) and this was already half-done. Regardless, thoughts? Comments?