Title: No, Pete, That's Wrong

Setting: At Sam's insistence of bonding, Teal'c and Daniel attend a 'Boy's Night' hosted by Pete Shanahan. However, to Pete's dismay, he gets a lot more than he asked for…

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or any of its characters. In fact, it's safe to say that it owns me!

Time for some Pete-bashing. I've been in a rut, writing-wise, and being mean to Pete is one of my favorite ways to get back in the game ;)

I know Pete's a bit OC here, but... I just really don't like him, okay. I am unashamed of my complete Badfic!Pete here...

I hope you enjoy, and I'm sorry if it seems a little forced, and unsubtle. I hate writer's block, and I'm trying to push past it...

"Come on in, guys!" Daniel smiled back in the face of Pete's cheeriness, privately thinking that this guy was just too happy, and walked into Sam's house. Sam herself was staying on base tonight, but it was at her insistence that Daniel and Teal'c had come. Apparently, Pete just wanted to be friends with Sam's team-mates; understandable, because the guys were a large part of her life, but a small part of Daniel resented the cop trying to muscle in on that. He mentally shook his head, knowing it was wrong to think so. If Sam wanted to be with Pete, Daniel was going to make an effort, and keep his personal opinion to himself…

"I got beer, and T got steaks." Daniel said, smiling at Pete, who ushered them into the living room. The house had acquired a much more 'lived-in' air since Pete had come along. Sam never spent much time at home before that, but now there was a man's coat slung on the back of a chair, and a few empty beer cans on the coffee table.

"Oh, gee, thanks!" Pete grinned again -stop that! You look like a golden retriever- as he relieved Daniel of the beers, but his smile fell as he looked at the package Teal'c offered him. "Ah, I was thinking we would just order a pizza, instead of a barbecue. I mean, I know Sam likes them, but with just us guys I thought we could stay in and watch the game? Teal'c, you can just stick 'em in the freezer, but thanks anyway."

Teal'c nodded, and moved away. Daniel, knowing the Jaffa so well, knew his smile to be forced, but hoped Pete didn't - he doesn't look very observant...

"The game? Um, sure." Daniel raised an eyebrow, but didn't object. Pete was only being friendly, he wouldn't object to that."Oh, I know Sam said you guys weren't very interested in football, but I'm hoping I can convince you! By the end of the night you'll be fans like me." Pete grinned, sitting down in the recliner. Daniel sat on the couch with a smile and a nod, but the glance he exchanged with Teal'c spoke volumes. If Jack O'Neill hadn't been able to get them involved in sports in the last 8 years, then Daniel was pretty sure there was no way Pete could. Nothing you can do really compares with Jack at all, but Sam seems to have settled for that… Daniel's inner thoughts were getting uncharacteristically catty, and he tried to refrain by smiling at the boy. He would not start comparing him to Jack - despite how much he believed Sam was making a mistake. Daniel wasn't a master at seeing relationships (that was more Teal'c's thing) but over the years he'd finally realised that Sam and Jack most certainly had a… thing.It was out of loyalty for his best friend that Daniel was not quite happy with the though of Sam and Pete's engagement. Hell, the whole base was against the man - the civilian that dared to try and tame the SGC's top scientist, a member of the revered SG-1, he was resented, especially by those that remembered his interference with the Osiris problem.

An hour later, not much had changed. Pete was chattering in that crazy-happy way of his, narrating each and every movement of the people on screen. Daniel wasn't paying much attention - he didn't even know who was playing, as he nodded and said the occasional 'yeah' to keep conversation going.

"Man, it's so great of you guys to come. I know Sam doesn't like mixing home and work - she's a very private person, and I don't think she really likes her job that much, she never talks about it, and-"

"Wait, what?" Daniel asked, cutting across Pete in his confusion, "Sam loves her job."

"Oh," Pete's brows furrowed, looking at Daniel as if he was in denial, "I'm sure she likes you guys, but whenever I try to bring up the subject, she tries to change it. Hell, I was talking about that Colonel guy the other day-"

"General O'Neill."

"-Yeah, and she just totally changed the subject, like she doesn't even like him. I get that she doesn't want to sully her happy home life with that stuff, though, it's totally cool with me." Pete smiled at Daniel, with a shrug that clearly said 'Women, huh?'. Daniel smiled again, but it was cold. Pete didn't seem to notice.

So Pete though Sam didn't like her job? It was almost laughable to think of Sam not liking Jack -keep dreaming, Pete- and Daniel was amazed that Pete had got it so wrong.

"Yeah, I guess she doesn't want to mix them." Daniel said, agreeing in an effort to get back to the subject.

"Yep! And she's a very private person, too. She doesn't like stuff - like PDA, or me calling her at work. She's not big on that stuff."

"That's funny," Daniel said, frowning, "Because she always seems like that kind of person with us. I mean, we call her every Christmas, or when we're at home and she's at the base." Daniel turned to Teal'c, who nodded.

"Indeed."

"And she's very open in her affection for Cassie, too…" Daniel was now trying not to smile at how wrong Pete had it, and at the confusion on the cop's face.

"Huh. That's - I mean, I guess I could push it a bit more, like visit her at the base. Should I call her now, or something?" The poor man was honestly asking Daniel advice, and he felt sorry for Pete. He was a nice guy, that much was definite, but he didn't seem to realise that Sam wasn't able to give it her all, relation-ship wise. Daniel was pretty sure, in fact, that her heart was elsewhere.

"No! I mean, if she doesn't like it," -you-, "then you don't want to pressure her. She's probably just concentrating on a project."

"Project?" Pete looked confused, "I thought she was just, I don't know, on a mission?"

Daniel looked at the man for a moment. Did he really think that was all Sam did on her job?

"Pete, Sam is the foremost scientist concerning the Stargate, and the alien pieces we bring back." Daniel said, raising an eyebrow at the man. "You didn't think she just sat up there, polishing her P-90 every night, did you?"

"She does the science-y stuff too? I didn't know that! I mean, she doesn't ever talk about it. I always thought she wasn't interested in that stuff. She doesn't seem the sort."

Daniel's face was blank for a moment - he was afraid if he opened his mouth, he would burst out laughing at Pete's ignorance. Teal'c had been silent all evening, but now he leaned forward in his seat.

"Pete Shanahan, what 'type' did you believe Colonel Carter was?" the Jaffa's voice was deep, and it was only from knowing him so well that Daniel detected the same disbelief Daniel felt about Pete and Sam's relationship.

"Well, y'know, the cute, cuddly 'come save me' type. Y'know, she likes an alpha male," the man puffed his chest out idiotically, "and looks to me to explain and deal with things. Kind of not-all-there, if you know what I mean." Pete leaned forward, whispering with a lewd grin on his face, as if he were telling a secret.

Daniel had most certainly had enough. Standing up, he gave the man a look that questioned his sanity. He spoke as if to a three-year-old, and his voice was full of pity.

"No, Pete. That's wrong." With a laugh threatening to push out of his chest, Daniel smiled at the man's idiocy, patted the bewildered cop on the head, and walked out the door without looking back.

Teal'c bowed at the man as he too stood up.

"You are mistaken, Pete Shanahan. In fact, I believe that is the way Samantha Carter sees you." With a superior smile, the Jaffa turned and left.

"Do you think we were the reason Pete and Sam split up?" Daniel murmured to the tall Jaffa standing beside him.

"I do not. I believe he was very badly suited to her, and it was simply a matter of time." Teal'c murmured back.

"Yeah, guess so…" the archaeologist said with a grin, and Teal'c smiled, his eyes sparkling with humour.

"Hey, noisy boys! Can you guys pay attention, this is kind of important!" Jack twisted round and hissed over his shoulder, shooting them a look and then turning back around.

With a grin, Daniel looked forward again. Sam wore an expression of bemused resignation as she watched the small exchange. As Jack turned back and met her eye, she smiled. It was a thoroughly happy, beautiful smile - not content, not in-control, but happy. She opened her mouth, and for a wild moment Daniel thought she was going to tell them off for whispering, but he was wrong.

"I do." she said, her voice ringing out across the congregated crowd with a joyful ring in it. Jack grinned back at her, and as the priest sealed the deal with the words, the retired General swooped to claim her lips with his.

For a glorious moment, Daniel could only beam, tears tickling the back of his eyes -in a very manly way- as he gazed upon the married couple. He half-turned towards the other best man again with a gleeful grin.

"Oh, I like to think we helped, though."
"Indeed, Daniel Jackson. Indeed."