When they first meet, Alex thought he was a dork. Knew he was a dork. A dork in pleated pants and a stupid tie and those stupid nerdy glasses on his stupid nerdy face. But that smile. Oh god that smile. Alex has been in solitary confinement for so long that he forgot what it was like to see smiles.
(and, oh god, the things that smile does to him)
"How about BigFoot" Alex sees Hank's smile falter as the insult hits him straight through his heart.
(oh god, that smile, please, please, smile again)
And, for a second, Alex feels bad. For a second.
"Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet," Raven counters and Alex almost laughs. Almost. He does know what they said about guys with big feet. And now, he was pretty determined to find out if it was true.
That night, Alex pulled Hank into his bedroom, grabbing the collar of his shirt, pushing him up against the wall. Hank looks confused, and, honestly, a little bit turned on. The look in Hank's eyes, uncertain and pleading, is enough to get Alex going. And, soon, he's pushing Hank against the wall, and kissing him. Kissing him hard and rough, tongue, and teeth, and growling.
And, when they separate, Hank has that smile. That stupid goofy,nerdy smile.
(alex groans, that smile. smile for me)
Hank leans in for another kiss, and Alex pushes him away.
"That was a onetime thing BigFoot. Forget it."
The base is attacked; they see people falling for their deaths. They can hear it, and smell the blood in the air.
The kids are scared, where was Charles, where was Erik. Screaming and crying, Raven is gone.
(gone, gone, gone)
Alex is fucking scared. He won't admit it, won't show it. He's fucking scared shitless. He's afraid to lose everything.
(hank. that smile, that fucking smile)
And, when Angel joins sides with Shaw, Alex almost cries. His friend. His friend.
He joins forces with Darwin to protect Angel, and in that moment he loses Darwin too. Alex sees everything. He sees the look in Darwin's eyes as he turns to dust.
(he knows he'll be haunted by those eyes forever)
Alex and Hank spend the night together. Hank wrapped up in Alex's protective arms. Tears falling, declarations of allegiance. "I will not lose you"
They train for weeks at Charles' family's mansion.
Raven and Hank spend almost every waking hour together, and Alex uses his wisecracks to cover up his jealousy.
"Bigfoot. Bozo. Dork. Nerd."
(i love you. please smile, please look at me. i love you)
Despite what Hank and Raven do during the day, Alex knows it's nothing like what he and the boy do at night. Alex and Hank spend every night together, sneaking into each other's rooms in the dead of night. Covering up moans, biting lips, clawing at each other's skin.
"She likes you, you know."
"I know."
Everyone knows what's going on between Charles and Erik , but nobody talks about it. They don't have to. And, Alex is glad they don't. As long as nobody talks about it, he doesn't have to think about what it means about him. What it means about him and Hank.
Nobody talks about it. Any of it.
As he presses up against Hank's bare chest, he doesn't acknowledge any of it, and when he's screaming Hank's name they both know what it means
But they won't talk about it. He can't.
Until, Sean refers to Erik and Charles as their gay fathers. Charles blushes an ungodly shade of pink, muttering something, while Erik wears a sly grin.
Alex chokes on his fruit loops and excuses himself to the bathroom. To think. To cry.
"I just want to tell them, Alex. To be proud. To say you're mine and nobody else can have you."
"I can't."
(don't frown, don't cry. please smile again)
"Impressive, Hank. Feet like those, all you need is a red nose, right Bozo?"
His smile falters.
"I'm done here."
There's a pained expression on Charles' face, "Thank you, Alex"
That night, Hank collapses on top of Alex, holding him close, his face looks broken, and Alex wants to apologize.
"Why do you always have to do this to me? Am I not good enough for you."
(i love you, i love you. im sorry, just smile, im sorry)
"That sweat suit made you look like shit, Bigfoot."
(and again, he misses his chance)
"Am I still a bozo?" Hank asks Alex, cautiously, after watching the boy put on his new invention.
Alex hesitates for a beat, his heart leaping into his throat, "Yes Hank, you're still a bozo, but nice job."
That night, Alex calls him Hank when they're finished. Not bozo, not Bigfoot.
(and the smile that hank gives him breaks his heart, because alex knows he doesn't deserve it)
Hank finally creates the cure for his feet, and rushes to show Alex.
"I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to change."
"I just want to feel normal, Alex. I just want the names to stop."
(and as hank walks away, he knows it's all his fault)
When Alex doesn't see Hank that morning at breakfast, he starts to worry. And, when they break into his lab and sees the place in ruins, Alex thinks he's lost him.
They finally see each other at the airbase.
Hank. His hank. Blue, furry, sharp teeth. Not smiling.
(oh god, oh god, oh god. hank)
And, when Hank attacks Erik, Alex smiles a little.
"Even I gotta admit you look pretty badass. I've even got a new name for you. Beast."
(see hank, everything's the same. nothing matters. nothing's changed. i love you. I love you)
After the battle, and back at the mansion, Alex hold's Hank in his arms, kissing the back of his head ever so softly.
"I love you. I love you, Hank. I love you."
And, the smile that escaped Hank's lips brought tears to Alex's eyes.
"I love you too, bozo."