Prologue - The Courtesy Call

Mmph. The messy American groaned in his sleep.

"Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days."

'Oh god, what is it now…' He rolled over on the bed and shoved his face back into a pillow, trying to ignore the voice resonating from above.

"In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Hetalia Science Extended Relaxation Chamber must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise. Please exit the bed to begin the test."

'Seriously? But I don't wanna get out of bed yet.' The American, frustrated, rolled over again, slowly cocooning the sheet around him. 'Maybe if I drift off and fall asleep it will just go away…'

"Please exit the bed to begin the test."

"…"

"Please exit the bed to begin the test."

"…"

"Please exit the be-"

"ALRIGHT! I'm coming! God! Do you KNOW how annoying that is?" Alfred, for that was the man's name, chucked the sheet off himself in anger. Alfred hated mornings. He hated getting up when he wanted to snooze for another hour. He also hated when people would keep pestering him over and over to get up. A feeling told him that this day wasn't going to start out very well.

"You will hear a buzzer, when you hear a buzzer, look up at the ceiling."

A high pitched, ear piercing buzzer rang out. Alfred cringed, but he did what he was told.

"Good. You will hear a buzzer, when you hear a buzzer, look down at the floor."

Another ear splitting buzzer went off. This was getting annoying fast…

"Good. This completes the gymnastics portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise."

'Wait, what. That was it? I got out of my comfy, cozy bed for THAT?' Alfred felt his fury boiling.

"There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it."

Stomping loudly in frustration, he marched over to the painting and stopped in front of it.

"This is art."

"LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!"

"You will hear a buzzer. When you hear a buzzer, stare at the art."

"No!" Alfred spun on his heel, looked in the opposite direction of the painting, and stuck his chin in the air. He closed his eyes and waited. "I'm not going to look at some stupid art unless I want to." He continued pouting.

The buzzer rang. After a few seconds the voice called down again, "When you hear a buzzer stare at the art."

Buzzer. "When you hear a buzzer, stare at the art."

Buzzer. "When you hear a b-"

"Okay, Okay!" Alfred stuck his face so close to the painting that his nose was touching and his vision was blurry.

"You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music."

Savory, long notes swam through Alfred's mind. 'Hm...' He smiled. The music reminded him of someone, but he just couldn't put his finger on whom. Actually, he couldn't remember anything about his life. All he knew was his name, Alfred Jones, his parents were dead, he was the supposed pride and joy of them, and that he woke up here. He actually didn't know why he was here except that it had something to do with being paid for being tested on. He hadn't realized that the testing was just sleeping for a long time. He smiled wider at the thought of that.

Another buzzer pulled him sharply to reality, also inducing him to let out a very girlish yelp. Alfred scowled.

"Good. Now please return to your bed."

Alfred kicked the bed with his bare foot but immediately regretted it. He hopped around for a bit, muttering words of annoyance before plopping his body back on the cushy surface. His orange jumpsuit itched just a little as he gathered his sheets and tossed them over himself. He picked up a pillow and slammed it over his head. He hadn't realized how his thoughts about family and home had affected him. He decided he wouldn't let himself believe that and instead blamed his anger on the annoying voice that was so ominous and repetitive.

Alfred felt his muscles relax as he drifted off, back to the place of dreams.

"Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine, nine, ninenineninen- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate the blah blahblah blah"

Alfred shot up into sitting position. He was sweating and his room was dark. The courtesy call droned on, but his mind just replaced the words with variations of blah. He swung his legs over the bed, and stood. The room was dim, but still lit enough for him to see. Filthy and over grown with plants, his once comfortable room looked like its own apocalypse had come. The TV was on in the corner, its screen only displaying one thing, we are experiencing technical difficulties. He switched his gaze to the bed, which had a large human shaped dent in it. It didn't give him the best nauseous feelings. Alfred felt his breathing becoming a bit heavier, his heart pounding like a drum. He jumped visually at the sound of a nearby voice.

"Ve, is anyone home?...I don't think anybody's here Ludi."

"Let us try knocking, Feliciano."

A quick and abrupt knock was heard on the other side of the door. This was repeated soon after.

"Hm." The voice that seemed to have a distinct German accent thought about their predicament.

"Ve, ve, Ludi! What if they're dead! Or worse, a vegetable like the others!"

"Well, we can only hope. By the way, everyone so far has been dead, that's why they weren't responding."

"Oh… But what about management?"

Meanwhile, Alfred had crept over to the door and was eavesdropping. Suddenly, unable to take it any longer, he flung open the door.

"AHHHHHHHH! VEEEEEE!"

The easily scared Italian reactor core shut his eye and screamed. The German just sat there and rolled his eye.

"Feli, quiet." The Italian programmed core shut up.

The blue eyed core sighed and looked back at the test subject. Alfred looked towards them, his mouth agape. The German core with the blue eye had yellow stripes, while the Italian core with the amber eye had brown stripes. Alfred had always read about robots, but had never seen one before.

"Please prepare for emergency evacuation."

"Ve, stay calm. Stay calm. Just prepare. Prepare…ve…" The Italian core was shaking.

His partner was cruising along his rail, heading for a metal trapdoor in the ceiling. "Don't worry, I'm going to get us out of here."

"Ve, you might want to hang onto something, mister. Just saying." And with that, the Italian core left along with the other.

Alfred was too shocked by everything to say anything. He did move and brace himself inside the closet, though. Just as he did, the entire room began to sway and crash into things. The color drained from his face.

"Are you okay?" A German accent asked.

"Ve, Hellooooo?"

The German descended from the ceiling. "Most test subjects do experience cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for..erm..quite a bit longer and it is possible that you have serious brain damage. Try not to be alarmed."

Alfred got hit with another shock. Serious brain damage? No, no way….

"Do you understand me? Does anything I'm saying make any sense? Just say "yes"."

Alfred's mind still tried to wrap its hand around what was happening.

"Actually, what you are doing is gaping. You just gaped at me. Well, nevermind. Try saying Wurst. Wuuurst."

"Huh, what?" Alfred shook his head abruptly, regaining his senses.

"Ve, he actually can talk!" The Italian had just retreated from the ceiling as well.

"Let's not get too excited."

"Hey, don't talk about the hero like that! The hero always wins, and is never talked about like a science project!" Alfred made a winning hero pose, just before being knocked down onto the floor.

"Ve, I should have told you, we started moving again!" The happy core burst with energy. Alfred moved his head a bit off the ground before dropping it and groaning.

An alarm started to blare in the background and the Italian core went back through the ceiling where the German had left to a minute before.

"Hey, wait! What are your names?" Alfred heard himself shouting.

"Ludwig."

"Feliciano, ve!"

"And how long have I been in suspension?"

"Er… twenty to thirty years. We don't know for sure since Feli lost your records."

Muffled crying was heard, followed by soft counseling.

"All reactor core safe guards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown."

The room was starting to sway dangerously now.

"Okay, we weren't going to tell you this, but we're in pretty hot water right now." Ludwig's voice dimly called.

"Are you alright? You still holding on, ve?"

By this point Alfred had resigned to the closet. He had maintained the fetal position with his hands over his head, guarding his neck from the debris that was now flying around the room.

"I think I can get through here. I just need to concentrate. Feli, that means you need to stop hyperventilating for a minute."

The room plunged into a corridor of darkness, smashing into cross beams and other chambers. The walls had fallen off the room and everything was strewn around, the room swinging wildly back and forth.

"AIEE! You hit that one, you hit that one! Ve!"

"I know, Feli." Ludwig took a deep breath and swung the room around another bend. " Also, if anyone asks, but no one's going to ask, just please tell them that everyone looked pretty much alive, okay? Not dead. Thank you."

"Ve, we're almost there! An old testing track is behind that wall. You need to get a tool from there to get us out of here! … Wait, I think that's a docking station! Get ready, ve!"

"Hey, wait, Feli!" Ludwig shouted, just a bit too late since Feli already had the controls.

The entire room vibrated as it slammed into the wall. Luckily, it had partially crumbled under the impact.

"Ve, good news! That is NOT a docking station! Mystery solved! I have to make a manual override on this wall. Hold on!"

The room slammed into the wall once again.

"Feli has almost got it. Remember, look for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but- Er, you'll know it when you see it."

"WE'RE GOING THROUGH!"

The room barreled into the wall for the third time, creating a solid hole and sending Alfred head over heels into the testing track below.

"Hm. I'm sorry for the rough landing. This is the track you need to run to find the gun. Just try your best, Feli and I will meet you up ahead."

"Oh, one more thing before we leave, ve. What's your name, mister?"

Alfred stood and brushed off his orange jumpsuit. The dirt tainted the bright orange color, and he didn't like it dirty for some reason. "My name is Alfred. Alfred Jones."

"Well, Alfred, Alfred Jones, nice to meet you! We'll see ya later Al!" Feli giggled as he and Ludwig turned around and left.

This was the first time in a while that Alfred had actually been alone. It felt odd, the stillness, yet he had treasured it earlier in his comfy room that was now completely ruined.

He shook off the feeling and turned around himself. He stepped forward and plummeted down as the glass roof to a small room collapsed beneath his weight. Miraculously, his bare feet were unscarred and he hadn't noticed the fall very much at all, except for the shock. Looking down, he remembered why. He had on his Advanced Knee Replacements, so falls wouldn't harm him. 'Well, that helps.'

The overgrown glass room was suddenly filled with a resonating voice, "Hello, and again, welcome to the Hetalia Science Enrichment Center."

"Oh, god. Not you again…"

Hetalia Cast as Portal Cast:

Alfred (America) - Chell (Chell's part at least)

Ludwig (Germany) and Feliciano (Italy) - Wheatley (Wheatley's part at least)

A/N 1:

These guys aren't nations in this fic.

Just in case my writing was so bad that you couldn't even tell that.

They also don't know each other.

The characters may seem a bit OOC at times, but it may just be for effect or that I'm trying to fit in lines from the original characters and their personalities don't quite add up.

I'm sorry for any inconvenience.

A/N 2:

Hi! Thank you SO much for clicking on and (hopefully) reading this story.

This is my first fan-fiction, so, yeah, I probably suck something terrible, but, oh well!

Also, I have been known to over use commas, so I apologize in advance.

Also, if you liked it *cough*no one*cough* then please reply. :D

I have trouble with actually giving myself any credit, so a simple "hello" would literally make me die of joy.

Also, before I go, I would also really really like some constructive criticism, too, because I'm new and I NEED help with my writing. So, I you have any helpful tips, let me know!

~Thingshappenfora reason

P.S. Have a cookie reader. You have had a long journey, trying to understand my words and phrases. *hands reader virtual cookie*

*Disclaimer* I do not own either Portal or Hetalia. I own nothing.