I'm sure you're all thinking, "omg did she actually update twice in the time space of a week? Omgomgomg it must be a miracle!" It is, it really is. But I did say I have that fresh inspiration for this story, so the next 4-5 chapters should come fairly quickly :p

Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.

I'm fully aware that I sound like a broken record, but I don't really know what else to do. Being honest, I'm the most unspontaneous person to ever exist; I literally plan out every aspect of my life, by the clock. Now, I don't know what I'm doing. Yes, I'm going to Yale, and I'm going to be a lawyer, but right now, in the most inconvenient of places, I've realized I don't want to be a lawyer. I'm not entirely sure if I even want to go to Yale. My mum has always told me what do, and it's just dawned on me that she doesn't have that right anymore, according to the law anyway. But knowing my mum, she'll carry on telling me what to do even when I have grandkids. That's just the kind of control freak she is.

I don't know anything anymore. I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do this summer, I don't even know what I'm doing here, sitting on a dirty bench outside the club where my brother is dancing with the girl I instantly fell for. It sounds pathetic, but I learnt tonight there is such a thing as love at first sight.

"Hi Nick, what are you doing out here?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by her voice, as she plopped down next to me on the disgustingly dirty bench.

"Oh just... nothing." I decided against telling her at the last minute. "Not really my scene, back in there."

"I could tell." She smiled fondly.

There was a silence. A silence in which her head was thrown back against the bench, staring up at the stars with a wonderstruck look on her face, and in which I was having a mental argument with myself on whether I should tell her about Joe's girlfriend situation or not.

I took a sharp intake of breath. "You know Joe has a girlfriend, right?" I said, realizing after the words came out of my mouth that it was a pretty asshole way to come out with it.

She was quiet, gaze still fixed up at the sky. "I know."

To this, I didn't know what to say.

She sighed wistfully, before meeting my gaze. "Tell me about her."

I sighed. How do I manage to get myself into these situations? I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to lie to her. "He loves her."

She scoffed. "Love." She shook her head in disbelief. "Love is a lie".

"You don't believe in love?" I asked her, truly taken aback.

She grimaced. "I hate love. I hate everything about it, the aspect of it, the purpose, the existence, I just despise love." She sighed loudly. "Love's not real Nick. We're humans, and we're selfish. The only people we truly care about with feelings as strong as those associated with love is ourselves. It's in our nature. If love was real, we would put other's first, somebody else's life would mean more to us than our own, but, it doesn't. You know why? Because we're humans, selfish humans, it's just who we are."

I hesitated. "So you don't love Joe?"

"I- I don't know." She wavered. "I care about him... I like him, a lot."

"If it's any consolation, his girlfriend's a bit of a bitch." I offered. "I mean, I like her, I've known her for a really long time and she's a great friend, but as a girlfriend, she's a bitch."

This did seem to cheer her up, which came to me as no surprise. I saw it in her, she loved him. "Why is he still with her?"

I thought about it. "There are some people in this world who you can just love and love and love no matter what."

"That seems unfair." She rolled her eyes. "Why do you believe in love Nick?"

"You have to in this world, believe in things like love." I told her. "Sometimes you just need to have faith."

"Have faith in what?" She asked, looking genuinely curious.

"Life, people." I shrugged. "Yeah, maybe they'll let you down, but you got to have some faith."

She continued to just look at me, a smile present on her face. "That's a really beautiful outlook on life."

I frowned. "Don't mock me."

"I'm not mocking you, honestly!" She said quickly, with a laugh. "I really do mean it. You still believe. You'd be surprised to hear how few people still have that belief."

"Probably." I half-smiled. "My mum did a pretty damn good job of keeping me from, knowing things, living my life, things like that."

"I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to say, 'she means well', but I wouldn't mean it, and I don't like saying things I don't mean." She smiled, straight at me, and my heart literally did a cartwheel. It was inevitable from the start; I'd fallen for her, too deep. "I like to lay it out on the table as I see it. I want to be real." She looked at me again, and when I say looked at me, I mean in that way in which she looks both curious and amused, and she looks at me, deeply, and it feels like she's looking into my soul, and I swear I can feel my skeleton under my skin.

"You seem pretty real to me." I said, but then what did I really know? I'd known this girl for less than an hour.

I need help.

"I'm not." She grinned. "But I'd like to be one day." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'll tell you one thing regarding what you said about your mum though, I mean, in my opinion, she's pretty messed up. What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? And in my opinion, being smart and getting good grades, and getting into an ivy league college isn't remarkable, because so many people do that."

I looked at her funnily.

"Joe talks about you." She said after noticing my expression.

"Negatively?" I asked, though it wasn't really a question worth asking, as I already knew the answer.

She looked uncomfortable, squirming in her seat. "Sometimes." She said slowly.

I made a face. "You don't have to sugar-coat it, I know my brother."

Before she had the chance to respond, my dear brother stumbled out, drunk as hell.

"H-hey Miley-y." He slurred, tripping his way over to her, barely acknowledging me, as per usual.

"How much did you have to drink Joe?" I asked, with the urge to punch him.

He laughed hysterically. "A lot? I dunno." He shrugged me off, before grabbing Miley to her feet and kissing her. They proceeded to start making out right in front of my eyes.

Oh lord, you must be testing my tolerance.

"Joe," I said sharply. "We're going home."

"Party pooper." He glared at me, as I literally dragged him off Miley and all the way to his car.

"Bye Nick!" I heard Miley yell out, waving.

I waved back, a disgustingly love-sick smile appearing on my face, as if by magic, because it definitely didn't have my consent.

"Get in." I shoved him into the passenger seat.

"You're so fucking moody." He complained.

"Yeah, people tend to be when they have to take home their fucking wasted older brother because he's incapable of taking care of himself." I snapped.

"God, you're just like mum." He scoffed.

"Hardly." I shook the comment off, but swore to myself, there and then, I would not end up like my mum. I'd never let my kids feel like the way I feel.

"You'll become her, 'cause you do what she does." He shrugged. Even in his drunken state he was capable of acting superior to me.

"And what might that be?" I sneered unpleasantly.

"Bottling up your feelings, and acting nonchalant about everything. You're miserable." He stated.

"Yeah? Well, I guess you know so well. Your such a good brother Joe, always there for me." I shook my head in disbelief. He had no place to preach to me about bottling up feelings. Who was I supposed to pour my heart out to? Him? My mum? Get real.

"That's low." He said. "You don't tell me anything, it's not my fault."

"You don't care." I gritted my teeth, resisting the urge to smash something, and just scream, scream at Joe, scream into my pillow, scream about every fucked up thing in my life.

He stared at me, just stared at me, with an apathetic look in eyes that made it hard to look away. "You're right, I don't care."

And everything was right in the world again.

I sharply drove into the driveway, practically ripped my belt off, and slammed the car door behind me.

"Nick, you're finally my home!" My mum exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere with a flustered and anxious look on her face.

"Yeah." I nodded noncommittally.

"Are you intoxicated? Did you do drugs? Did your brother take proper care of you?" She fired question after question, grabbing me by both shoulders.

"I'm fine ma, I don't need Joe looking after me. I didn't drink and I didn't take any drugs." I replied, shrugging her hands off me.

"And your brother?" She asked.

"Drunk." She hated one word answers.

A disgusted look appeared on her face. "Be a darling and take him up to his room." She smiled fondly, ruffling my hair, before sauntering back into the house.

I guess that means I'm getting no assistance from her.

Surprise surprise.

Hello bitchez :p thank you for all the lovely reviews for the first chapter. Are you surprised I updated so fast? I am aha. But it's my personal goal to update this story quickly at least till the 5th chapter. So hopefully I will. I'll also try & update my other stories. Some time. Ugh. Sorry it's so short. They'll probably continue to be this short, because I'm not really back into the writing groove yet. I'm out of practise. Which is also my excuse for my shitty writing :p It's Eid on Wednesday yay! Just two more days of fasting, double yay. And I'm hopefully getting a typewriter for Eid, triple yay. Anyway plz review & I'll give you some virtual cookies. Plz plz plz review. 10 reviews for next chapter plz. Love you all muchos:-)