In case you were wondernig, yes this is purely Cor. I could never write something this sad. Persona;;y I'm not satisfied with it, I think I could have made it much sadder. I'm not even sure if this deserves to be a tragedy fic. ... . yes well...anyway please read and review! Thank you!

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away

I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Gilbert sighs and puts the small framed photo back on the bedside table, remembering the day perfectly. Hehad been laughing when the picture was taken. 'How could you not have known?' That's what people asked him. The truth was he had known his lover had been depressed. He hadn't known he was suicidal. All he had ever wanted was to save the boy, he was so quiet and polite on the outside and so sweet and funny when you got to him. All he had ever wanted was to keep him here, keep him from doing exactly what he ended up doing anyway.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You're gone away You don't feel me here, anymore

What Gilbert hadn't realized was how much he needed the younger man in return. He didn't know when he fell in love with Matthew. And right now it didn't matter. What mattered was he had failed, and he was gone. He was alone. Gilbert sighed, holding back tears as the memories ripped through his mind again. It had been a long time since he had felt this way. So long since he had been alone. He had forgotten how to deal with it. He pushed back his tears in favor of a smile. He wouldn't be alone for long.

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

It was so quiet here, without him. There had always been a little noise when he was here. The sound of his breath. Or his yells when a hockey game was on. Even just the sound of his bear padding around the house with his endless question of 'Who?'. He needed to see him again. He needed the soft sounds that came with the man, the faint scents. He hadn't had nearly enough time with the man. He hadn't asked the man the one thing he should have. So he would just have to now.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

There was a smile on his lips as the blade went through his heart, damning the thing that had caused him so much pain. He knew, now, he wasn't strong enough to go on without Matthew. So he had decided not to. He had been too cold, too hurt, for too long without the other man. He just couldn't stand to be away from him for this long, he needed to go to him. Needed to return to the arms of his angel. He just hoped, with every fiber of his being, that he would go to heaven. Even with all the sins he had committed, he hoped that trying to save the man was enough to atone, hoped that his love was enough to see the man again.

You're gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

We realise that we don't do disclaimers and this is why, this is a fanfiction website, it is obvious we don't own ANYTHING on here except the ideas for the fics, and in this case not even that really as this is a song fic. So yeah... just throwing that out there.