I hate to interrupt Impossible Dreams but this story kept knocking in my head so I had to let it out to play! Other than one shots, it's only my second story so be gentle with me ;)

This story would not exist if it wasn't for my wonderful friend Jinx1983, a chance comment made it pop into being and she encouraged me... so you can always blame her *evil grin*

HUGE HUGS to my beta's Jinx1983 and Bonkzy, you guys rock and your encouragement and help has meant the world to me!

Hope you enjoy my take on a different kind of Anora :)

Chapter 1

The elven warrior, tired and worn tried to hide her limp as she led Alistair into Arl Eamon's study. Both he and Queen Anora were waiting anxiously and sighs of relief and smiles appeared as they caught sight of the battered pair. Erlina, the city elf that was definitely more than she seemed, hovered in the background. Pleasantries were exchanged and the warrior cried off further discussion until she and Alistair had had time to rest after their ordeal in Fort Drakon.

"I'm glad to see you survived your ordeal, I would be grateful if you would come and talk to me as soon as you are able," Anora said graciously, stepping forwards to clasp hands with Raelyn.

Raelyn hid her surprise as she felt a tiny piece of folded parchment slip between her hands and as Anora nodded, smiled and gracefully left the room, followed by Erlina, she slipped it into a pocket.

Eamon continued, oblivious "I think it would be good if you had the chance to talk to her, before you head anywhere else. It would obviously be of benefit if we could get her on our side."

Rae looked at Alistair who had a dark expression. She could tell he was fairly bristling at the notion of Anora wanting to talk to her and she knew he felt no good could come of it. What else could she do?

She sighed inwardly and smiled up at him reassuringly, "I'll talk to you in a little while" she promised, then nodded to Eamon as she left the room.

She stopped by her own room first and curiously unfolded the piece of parchment Anora had passed to her.

"Raelyn

I can understand how things must look to you right now but I assure you, not all is as it seems. When you come to see me, please act as you normally would, but don't take anything we say at face value. There are eyes and ears everywhere so appearances must be kept. I will arrange to see you and Alistair later, to offer you the truth and perhaps a solution to our current dilemma. I am sorry, this must seem very suspicious, but I assure you I have nothing but the best intentions.

Anora"

Rae went to her fire and dropped the note in, watching it until there was nothing left but ashes. Maker, she hated these games, these machinations. She would have been happy to live out her life in the forests of Ferelden, perhaps even preferred it, but then, she would never have met Alistair. And it wasn't as if she had much choice in leaving either. She sighed and stretched out abused muscles, straightened her shoulders and went to play Anora's game, whatever it might be.

"Thank you for coming to see me," Anora said, offering Raelyn a seat which she politely refused. "Very well then, let me get straight to the point..."

Raelyn left the room even more confused. Anora had said and acted exactly how she'd expected, trying to gain her support for the throne. But her eyes said differently. She had never noticed how expressive the Queen's eyes were in her otherwise cool expression, and it actually made her seem more approachable.

She looked out the window and wasn't surprised to see night had fallen. Her body and head ached from being knocked out, and then the trials of escaping from Fort Drakon. She imagined Alistair felt about the same.

She hesitated a moment before going to his room. She didn't quite know what to say to him about her meeting, knew his distrust and dislike of Anora would cloud his judgement, but if Anora kept true to her note, hopefully all would be explained.

She tapped on the door but there was no reply. She knocked harder but still silence greeted her. She felt like kicking the door in if that's what it took, but she was too tired to argue with him tonight.

Reluctantly she returned to her own room and was both surprised and delighted to find Alistair lounging in a chair by the fire, reading. Briefly she felt bad about her uncharitable thoughts just a few minutes ago but Alistair didn't have the best track record when it came to his temper.

"So did she offer you gold and riches to turn on me?" he asked humorously.

"Worse! She offered to let me keep you," Rae grinned back which made Alistair laugh.

"Well, I'm here, what did you want to talk about?" He said, rising to engulf her in a hug and kissed her thoroughly.

The kiss robbed her brain of coherent thought for a short while before she registered what he'd said. "What do you mean?" she asked, pulling back.

"Your message, to meet you here because there was something you needed to talk about. Or was that code for… you know!" he said with a blush rising on his cheeks.

Rae found it adorable that even after months on the road, sharing a tent and each other, he still got embarrassed talking about sex. Her innocent Templar might not be so innocent anymore but he still had long years of Chantry doctrine to overcome.

Dragging her mind yet again back to what he'd said "What message?" she asked in confusion.

"You didn't send a message asking me to come to your room?" he asked with an arched eyebrow. "And there I was, hoping you wanted your wicked way with me."

Rae laughed, "I always want that but no, I didn't send a message."

"Huh, wonder what that was about then," Alistair shrugged, then looked at Rae meaningfully and started stalking her. "Now about that wicked way…"

Rae giggled and tried to fend him off but in truth, she was delighted when Alistair was bold and so obviously wanted her.

They broke apart with mutual curses as there was a knock on the door and noticed an envelope had been pushed under it. Rae grabbed a dagger and opened the door quickly but there was no one in sight. Curious. She bent and picked up the envelope.

"You know, I'm getting a bit tired of notes, doesn't anyone just speak anymore?" she said rather grumpily. Alistair grinned briefly and took the envelope from her, opening it. He looked for a moment then went white and staggered back until he hit the bed, sitting down with a thump.

Rae was there in an instant, concerned. "What is it Alistair?"

He tried to speak for a moment but couldn't. He tried again, clearing his throat. "I-It's from Duncan."

"What?" she said in shock, sitting next to him, "How can that be?" She waited for a response then nudged the stunned man. He looked at her, tears in his eyes and simply handed the letter to her. She frowned as she started to read.

"Alistair and Raelyn,

If you are reading this now, then I am gone and the situation is very dire. I never meant to leave you both, untrained and untested but I had a feeling it might come to this, so I have prepared this letter in such a case. I hope you never have to read it and that I am able to guide you through what is needed.

Alistair, there are things you should have been told months ago, and I am sorry I was not able to with the impending attack at Ostagar, but you both need to know this in case the worst should happen.

The reason the Grey Wardens were created, the reason we are essential to fighting the blight is that only a Grey Warden who has been through the joining can defeat an Archdemon. Because of the taint we take into ourselves, it acts like a beacon when the Archdemon is slain and the twisted soul of the Old God enters our bodies and is destroyed utterly. If someone without the taint should take the final blow, the soul simply moves into another darkspawn, then another, and therefore is practically indestructible.

It is imperative to have as many wardens on hand as possible, to ensure the destruction of the Archdemon so I charge you with creating more Wardens. The enclosed note gives you instructions on how to enter the storage vault in Denerim where you will find the ritual and the stocks of blood you will need.

Raelyn, I name you the Warden Commander in this, as I suspect Alistair will have responsibilities elsewhere. Remember, Grey Wardens recruit wherever they can and that when I myself joined the Order, I was a thief. Many others had similar, less noble beginnings in fact.

The part I wished for you never to have to find out is that the Warden who strikes that final blow will also be destroyed, completely and utterly. It was my intention that it would be myself who would take that blow, allowing you both to live your lives as Grey Wardens can, until your calling. Now, I can only wish you well and remind you how proud I am of you both, because I know, even as you read this, you will never have given up.

In Peace; Vigilance, In War; Victory, In Death; Sacrifice

May the Maker watch over you

Duncan"

Raelyn let the letter fall to the floor as she wrapped her arms around Alistair and cried with him. It felt briefly as if Duncan was there with them again, his voice guiding them. Even in death he reached out to tell them the things they needed to know, to save Ferelden.

"He knew, or at least suspected something was going to go badly," Alistair said brokenly. "That's why he didn't fight Cailan on his decision to send us to the tower, he wanted us to have the chance to escape."

"I don't think even he could have anticipated a tower full of darkspawn, an Ogre and the Witch of the Wilds mind you," Rae said while rubbing his back and wiping her eyes.

She was relieved when Alistair snorted softly and dried his eyes.

"I wonder what he would have thought about us," he said, lying back on the bed, pulling her down with him.
Rae snuggled in close as she thought about that. "I think he would have disapproved terribly about our relationship... but then smiled about it behind our backs."

Alistair snorted softly again and turned towards her. He framed her face with his hands, stroking up to the tips of her pointed ears which he knew would make her shiver. He kissed her softly and she responded ardently. Desire and heat had them quickly shedding their clothes and they blissfully lost themselves in each other for a time.

Rae lay in Alistair's arms, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Her head was on his chest and she listened to the solid beat of his heart under her ear. She idly to traced patterns on his stomach, often making him squirm as she hit ticklish spots and made her giggle.

She was just starting to get ideas about having her way again when there was a quiet knock at the door. Rae groaned softly and rolled onto her back.

"Think if we ignore it, they'll go away?" Alistair asked hopefully.

A second knock proved him wrong and he sighed and got out of bed, pulling his breeches on.

He opened the door a crack and let out a startled exclamation.

"By all means, keep me standing here if you want the entire estate to know," Anora hissed.

Rae suddenly understood who had sent the message to Alistair to come to her room, and she quickly slipped out of bed and grabbed a robe. Alistair looked over to her and she nodded.

The Queen stepped in and quickly closed the door behind her. She was wearing a dark cloak and now lowered the hood. Rae was actually a bit startled at her first glimpse of Anora with her hair down and an open expression on her face. She looked like a completely different woman.

"I'm sorry for the intrusion but thought it best the fewer people that know about this, the better," she said simply. Alistair gestured to a chair and she settled herself. Rae took the couch and Alistair stood behind her, arms crossed and disapproval radiating from him.

"Please stop glowering at me Alistair, I'm here to explain," Anora said. Her voice lacked her usual snap of command and Rae realised she truly was here as herself, not as the Queen of Ferelden.

"Erlina not with you?" He asked with a frown.

"No, I have managed to escape my watchdog for the time being. She thinks I am fast asleep in my chamber."

"Watchdog?" Rae exclaimed, "I thought she was your bard."

"No, although I'm sure she would be glad you think that. Erlina was a 'gift' from my father. To himself really, she watches and listens and reports back to him. Hence the façade we had to go through earlier. She would have been suspicious had I asked to talk to you on my own earlier," she said in frustration.

"I admit you've roused my curiosity now," Rae said.

"Will you both hear me out?" Anora asked. Rae looked at Alistair who shrugged noncomittedly. She rolled her eyes at him and looked back at Anora.

"We will," she said simply.

"Where to begin… My father hasn't always been the man you know now. When my mother was alive, he was content but never truly happy unless he was with Maric and Rowan. When the Queen died, the light seemed to go out of him and he retreated into himself, more so when mother died which surprised me, since he would go out of his way to avoid us both. He never would talk about some of the things that happened when they were fighting to free us from Orlais but I can only assume he was once romantically involved with Rowan. How she became Maric's wife and Queen I don't know, and don't really want to speculate."

As Anora paused to gather her thoughts, Raelyn felt as if she was seeing her for the first time. No mask of the Queen, or of authority. Just a woman who was being honest, perhaps the only chance she'd had in a long time.

"Anyway, he changed, became darker and more controlling and determined to see Maric's wish realised with the union of our two houses by Cailan and I marrying. Obsessed even. You might not believe it but I even argued against it, for days, but he was set. So I did the only thing I could. I was a dutiful daughter and married Cailan and actually for a while, life got a lot better."

Alistair couldn't help himself, "You didn't want to marry Cailan? I'm sorry Anora but I do find that hard to believe..." He broke off as Rae put her hand on his arm.

"Why were you opposed to marrying him?" she asked curiously.

Anora was silent for a few moments before speaking softly. "We'd been pushed together since we were children, it was always understood that one day we would marry but neither of us wanted it. We did love each other but it was as friends, not lovers. But we did what was expected of us, Cailan understood me better than anyone and did his best to protect me from Father. When he died... it felt like I had lost a limb, my dearest friend, and I miss him still, but my heart was not with him."

"You were in love with someone else?" Alistair asked in surprise.

Anora stirred nervously, something that neither of them had ever seen her do.

"Yes, but it's even more complicated than you might imagine. I-I want to confide in you, be completely honest with you but you must understand the risk I take to do so. You could easily use this against me, and so, I am torn." she said.

"What is it you propose?" Rae asked gently.

Anora looked at the elf with compassion. "I know how difficult all of this must be for you, to know that your race prevents you from being truly by Alistair's side. I would offer you the chance to be as close to him as you possibly can, without rancour or grief from whoever he would be pressed to marry. I propose that he and I wed and we have a similar arrangement to the one Cailan and I had. It worked well and I truly miss having friends I can trust and count on."

Raelyn sat back, slightly stunned. She and Alistair had avoided the subject, but they both knew that if Alistair won the throne, their affair would most likely come to an end. He was too honourable to cheat on his wife, and she respected him too much to let him. However much he might not want to marry someone else, his duty would see it as necessity as would be producing an heir. It was something that had kept her awake some nights, crying silently while Alistair slept at her side. She feared she would lose him, either to the Archdemon or a wife, which amounted to the same thing in her opinion. Just the wife, she wouldn't be allowed to kill.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this, you want us t-to marry?" Alistair spluttered. "You and your father have brought Ferelden to the brink of civil war, with a BLIGHT on our hands and you think marrying me so you can keep your precious throne is the answer? Are you completely crazy?"

Anora jumped to her feet, her fists clenched. "My father is so sick with fear and paranoia that Orlais will retake Ferelden, that he would do ANYTHING to stop it, including murdering his King, my husband, because of a sodding rumour that Cailan was in contact with Empress Celene." Her face suddenly drained of it's anger and tears filled her expressive eyes.

"The stupid thing is, he wasin contact with her, but it was my suggestion that he opened negotiations with her," she said and sat down, burying her face in her hands.

Alistair looked helplessly at Rae who was already moving to crouch by Anora and gently rubbed her back.

The Queen raised her tear stained face, "It was my fault that Cailan died, that everyone at Ostagar died. My father thinks he is protecting the country that he so loves by his actions but it diminishes him instead. I love Ferelden fiercely, she is my blood and if by marrying Alistair, we can protect her better, then I say do it."

Rae almost laughed at the expression on Alistair's face but she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"What was your arrangement with Cailan?" she asked.

"This is where it gets tricky but since you haven't thrown everything back in my face quite yet... I-I am going to take the risk. I want to keep my Throne yes, but I don't want to rule alone, I would also be under pressure to remarry and get an heir, nor do I want to accept any man who is not prepared to fight for her as hard as I will. That makes you a rare man in my opinion, Alistair." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. "You know Cailan had other women?" she asked. Both of them nodded, a little uncomfortably, and were surprised that Anora sounded so easy about it. "Well the reason he did that was because we were not... compatible."

Rae thought about that for a moment then shook her head "Not compatible in what way?"

"Andraste's flaming knickers, this is so hard," Anora muttered causing Rae to burst into shocked laughter at hearing the previously prim and proper Queen swear. Even Alistair was grinning.

Anora smiled nervously back at them. "The thing is... Cailan preferred other women, because... well, so did I," she said and looked at them with a slightly fearful expression.

There was utter silence in the room for several minutes. Rae processed the information and then felt as if a tight band had loosened around her chest.

Anora's face was scarlet and she got up again to run from the room but Alistair caught her hand and turned her to face him.

He looked down at her and brushed the tears from her cheeks. "You are telling the truth aren't you," he stated in wonder, "So much makes sense now."

He led her back to her chair gently and handed her into it, then pulled Rae to sit beside him on the couch.

"So, just to be clear, you are proposing we marry, Rae and I can remain together and you... are in love with a woman..." he finished, just realising.

Anora nodded. "She has been my strength since Cailan died but my Father has done everything in his power to keep us apart. I fear his next move will be to have her killed. I have her as well protected as I can and she is more than capable of taking care of herself but..."

"But you still worry, because you love her," Rae finished. Anora nodded again, her eyes bright with fresh tears.

Alistair shook his head in amazement. "I feel like the world has suddenly turned upside down and everything I knew about you has changed," he said softly.

"It takes a lot of energy to be that aloof and bitchy," Anora said with a half smile, "and I am so very tired of it."

"Did Loghain know about your preference when he forced you to marry Cailan?" Rae wondered.

Anora went very still, her hands trembling visibly. "He did. I've known since I was young and he's known since he caught me with a servant girl. He tried to beat it out of me, asked mages to cleanse me of my 'impurity', even the chantry. As if it was a disease or a possession," she snorted. "Cailan was very kind and understanding which is why he had liaisons with my blessing. He protected me from father by acting as if our marriage was a true one. He took the blame when rumours got out and I will always love him for that. He was my true friend and we would have been happy if my father hadn't let him die," she caught her breath on a sob. She took a few moments to compose herself.

"That is what I propose with you both. Marriage in name and honest attempts at begetting an heir when it is the right time to conceive. You can be as involved or absent as you want Raelyn, I won't hide anything from you. I also propose that Raelyn becomes Chancellor if she is willing. I think we would both need her insight and intelligence to make this all work. We are strangers, other than what we assumed we knew about the other. I'm as surprised at how different you are than I expected, as you are of me," she said honestly. "I think this could work well between us all, but I know you need to talk so I shall leave it there." She stood up and re-cloaked herself and went to the door.

"Thank you for hearing me out. It's been a long time since I could just be Anora," and vanished, leaving the door to swing shut behind her.

"Wow," Alistair said and Rae could only agree, with a breathless laugh.

"I have honestly no idea if I should start running now, think this is a good idea or beg you not to leave me if I go ahead with it," he said, pulling her against him.

"I think I just had way too much information go through my brain to start processing it. Lets go to bed and sleep on it?" she suggested.

Alistair was in agreement and he pulled her up with him and they tucked up into her bed. Alistair fell asleep fairly quickly and Rae envied him the ability, no matter what the situation was.

She curled up against him and couldn't quiet her mind, scenario's and 'what ifs' running riot.

She knew marrying him herself was not an option, had never been, except in her idle fantasies where the country they lived in didn't see her race as a lesser species. Was this the next best thing? Alistair hadn't wanted to be King until he'd seen and experienced what Loghain had been doing. She knew he would give it up in a heartbeat if she asked him to, but was that fair? She knew he would be a good King but also an honourable one, would want to make Ferelden as strong as it could be before their calling, which would mean marrying and having children. It was impossible for them as two wardens to have children, as much as a child between them would be a bastard and she wouldn't want to make Alistair have to go through that with a child of his own. She sighed. The thought of him being intimate with another woman made her want to kill things, which is why she thought once their task was done and the Blight defeated, she would walk away so he would be free. Was what Anora proposed the best outcome they could all hope for? Dawn was beginning to light the sky by the time she fell into an exhausted sleep full of nightmares of a life without Alistair.