A.N.

This takes place after episode 57 - where Usagi and Natsumi (An) both get detention. Natsumi tries to steal Usagi's energy. They end up fighting over Mamoru and propose a "race" on their homework - whoever loses has to "give up" on chasing him.

It references episode 56 - where the girls put on a Snow White play - Natsumi plays Snow White and Mamoru plays the prince because he's the only guy (I guess Umino doesn't count ;_;) and Usagi plays the wicked queen. The other girls, plus Umino and Naru, have to be big stuffed animals instead of dwarfs because that's what Umino picked out for costumes. It's an incredibly funny episode, but Usagi spends the entire time freaking out because Natsumi keeps wanting to "practice" the kiss scene with Mamoru. In the end, the scene never happens because Ail gets jealous and releases a cardian and the senshi defeat it - to the thunderous applause of the audience.

I just love how Minako spends all of episode 56 just, like, glaring at Natsumi. She's got Usagi's back, yo.

Aino Minako was sprawled out on her stomach in her bed after school, doodling in her English workbook, and kicking her stocking feet in the air when she was startled by Tsukino Usagi appearing in her doorway.

"Oh! Usagi! What's up?" Minako sat up and reached over to turn the music on the CD player down.

"Princess," Usagi said, with a over-the-top cackle, "wouldn't you like a taste of this, bright, shiny, apple?" She pulled her hand out from behind her back and brandished a red apple at Minako. The girl on the bed laughed brightly. It was a line from the Snow White play they had performed a week ago- or rather, tried to perform. The play had never, actually, finished. But the audience loved the version they saw even better.

"I don't remember Snow White's lines," Minako said, "I was busy sweltering inside some big animal costume, remember?"

"You bite the apple and then you bit IT," Usagi said, "and the Evil Queen wiiiiiins!" She cackled again, in a perfect impression of a villain about the collect the spoils of their latest nasty plot.

"Stop right there!" Minako jumped up and brandished her arms in a familiar pose, "I will not allow you to harm an innocent woman who for some reason wants to live with seven life-sized stuffed animal mascots! I, Sailor V, will punish you!"

"Noooooo!" Usagi feigned falling back dramatically, hand to head. "I am defeated!"

"Now, THAT'S a fairy tale!" Minako nodded.

"Why did the evil queen tempt Snow White with an apple, anyway?" Usagi asked, "I mean, it's just a stupid apple." She held it up and looked at it blandly.

"Right? It's like, 'bake it into a pie and then we'll talk.'" Minako quipped.

"Add whipped cream or no deal," Usagi added.

They smiled at each other.

"So what's up?" Minako asked, kindly. "Why'd you stop by? Do you need something?"

The smaller girl was quiet, turning the apple over in her hands absentmindedly, not sure how to explain that she just felt like being in her friend's presence. She sometimes felt like spending time with a particular friend - usually Rei - but mostly the five were altogether. Something that had happened in class yesterday with Natsumi had gotten her thinking.

"Nah, just wanted to hang out. Avoiding homework, you know. Where's Artemis?"

"Out and about I guess," Minako shrugged. "Do you want to listen to music or something?" Minako reached toward her stereo, flipping through jewel cases.

"Uh, well, not really," Usagi said quickly. Usagi liked pop music and pop music was usually love songs. Or break-up songs. Or songs about unrequited love. Usagi didn't want to listen to any of them anymore.

"How about this?" Minako said, popping in a homemade tape. It was a mix of songs she made from England, she usually had it on when she wanted to impress people with her worldliness. "It's from overseas so it's great background because the lyrics are in English so it won't distract us."

Usagi smiled, "Oh, okay. Thanks." It was nice to have a comforting, peppy beat of music in the background and not have to dwell on any deeper meaning.

Usagi leaned her back against Minako's bed and flipped through a fashion magazine. Minako was back on her stomach, doodling in her book again. It was a quiet, comforting silence.

"Hey, Minako?" Usagi lightly, not looking up from her magazine.

"Mmm?"

"Remember when we stole that boat?"

"Ha ha, yeah, good times."

"I think I am so much more selfish than you are," Usagi said, she was digging her fingernails into the apple, leaving little half-moon scars in the red skin.

"Why do you say that, all of a sudden?" Minako looked at the back of the other blonde's head, which was lowered now. Her thin shoulders were shaking a little.

"Hah, I'm just a kid, really," Usagi said, "I couldn't have done what you did. So mature, so selfless. To just give him up like that. I admire you."

"Usagi, it's not the same thing," Minako started, but Usagi interrupted her.

"Do you remember much about the Moon Kingdom anymore?"

"What?" Minako felt completely derailed from where she thought the conversation was heading.

"You remembered more than all of us, do you still remember much about it?" Usagi pressed.

Minako pondered for a second, tapping her pencil against her head. She sweatdropped a little, "Eh-"

"Because I don't!" Usagi said, "Not really. I mean, of course I remember the gist of it. And I remember remembering. That's the strangest part. I knew much more about my life as Princess Serenity when we were fighting Beryl and the Dark Kingdom. Once I reawoke, I feel like I lost some of it."

Minako looked thoughtful. "It makes sense, I guess. Defeating the Dark Kingdom was unfinished business from the past. It was Serenity and her senshi's fight to complete, you know? Now, we've moved on to enemies that don't require us to have those so many of those past memories."

"But," Usagi continued, "that battle at the north pole? I remember every. second." Usagi's voice caught and she swallowed, hard. She squeezed the apple in her hands like she might crush it, "I remember you all dying. One by one. I remember fighting Endymion and finally bringing Mamoru back. And he died, too. I remember being all alone at the end, but knowing you were with me. I remember defeating Beryl. And I remember dying."

Minako fumbled for Usagi's hand and just held it, over her shoulder. Usagi still wasn't looking at her. "I remember too," Minako said.

"I wish I didn't," Usagi whispered.

"Usagi-"

"I'm so sorry! I wished for everyone to be normal and happy and for a while you were. And now we aren't. Because I couldn't handle it on my own. I couldn't be like Sailor V and fight by myself. I couldn't be like you to give up Allan selflessly so he could be happy. I keep trying to make Mamoru remember me but why? Who would want to remember dying?" Usagi broke down into sobs and Minako slid down off the bed next to her and embraced her. "I was just thinking how glad I am sometimes not to remember the details of the Silver Millennium because it was horrible, remembering. The nightmares. And then I'm thinking, if I could forget the north pole, again, I would. And here I am trying to get Mamoru to remember when he's so much happier not knowing! I'm terrible! I'm the most selfish person alive!"

Minako handed Usagi a package of tissues.

Usagi hiccuped, blowing her nose loudly into a tissue.

"Usagi, I'm glad I remember! Because, yes, those memories aren't fun to dwell on, but I also remember spending time with you all, fighting alongside you. I got four of the best friends I could ever want out of the deal. I think that's worth a little bit of bad dreams now and then, don't you think?"

Usagi sniffled. "I guess."

"Weren't you glad when the rest of us reawoke?"

"YES!" Usagi cried, "That's why I'm so selfish! I was so happy!" This started a fresh round of tears.

"Well, I can't speak for the others - although I'm sure they'd say the same thing- but it's not like we were completely content before Luna brought us back."

"Huh?"

"Like," Minako tried to think back to that brief period of time when she lived like a normal Tokyo schoolgirl and didn't remember being Sailor V, Sailor Venus, or a reincarnated soldier from a mystical past. "It was fine, I just went about my usual day-to-day, but it felt like something was missing. Like a puzzle piece I couldn't find, and I was sort of searching for. I mean, didn't you feel that way?"

"No!" Usagi said, "I was totally happy being nothing but Usagi!"

"Really?" Minako was a little offended, "You didn't miss us subconsciously? like, at all?"

Usagi pondered, "What's subconsciously mean?"

Minako sighed. "Never mind. Look, here's the thing, you are saying you want to give up on making Mamoru remember, because you think he's happier not knowing his past?" Minako tried to find her way to the crux of Usagi's ramblings. It was not an easy task, and she had less practice than some of the others.

"No! I'm saying I DON'T want to give up! Which makes me HORRIBLE!" Usagi wailed. "I should walk away and let him be happy like you did with Allan, like that one song on the radio that keeps playing! Like the lead character in the drama I'm watching and the manga I'm reading! I should be strong and tell him to go and have a lovely life without me! But I can't!" She picked up the apple gave it a watery glare. "I am an evil queen," she murmured.

"No, you're an idiot." Minako muttered.

"Thanks," Usagi said sarcastically. "I could have gone to Rei for that peptalk."

"How's this for a peptalk?" Minako shifted over and sat in front of Usagi and made the other girl look right at her. "I am not letting you give up on that boy. If not for you, then for him. Because until he remembers you, he is seriously missing out. And, even though I never really knew him except as someone who either wanted to fight me, or forced me to wear a giant fox suit for purposes of his drama class grade - not sure which is worse mind you- I would never deny anyone a chance at being with Tsukino Usagi because that's just not fair."

Usagi was giving Minako a doubtful look.

"I gave up Allan because I knew he'd be happier with Katrina," Minako's eyes were dry, but bright with fresh sadness. "I loved him, but he wasn't the right person for me. You can't give up on Mamoru because you know he is the right person for you. You love the right person, Usagi. I promise."

"You know what Mamoru's last words to me were? When he died in my arms?" Usagi asked, sniffling again.

"What?"

"Go find yourself a cool boyfriend..." Usagi's lower lip trembled.

Minako rolled her eyes, "So he's as big an idiot as you. See? Match made in heaven." She had successfully stopped the fresh stream of water works in its wake.

"You don't think I should tell him to go find a beautiful girlfriend, and be happy without me?" Usagi asked.

"No. He would have no idea what you are talking about, anyway."

"He usually doesn't."

Minako smirked. "Civilians. What ya gonna do?"

"So you don't think I'm selfish and awful?" Usagi looked at Minako with vulnerable eyes.

"No," Minako said. "I don't."

"Natsumi thinks I should give him up," Usagi said.

"Well, there's an unbiased opinion," Minako practically snarled. She really disliked Natsumi the few times she met her. And the stories she heard from the three girls who attended Juuban Middle School with the strange brunette only reinforced Minako's opinion.

"And I told her I wouldn't! We had this contest with this English worksheet- it was so stupid. But, it just got me thinking."

"That Mamoru might be better off without you?"

"Sorta..."

"Well, that's dumb, and you're wrong." Minako said, flatly. "In the end, it's really just about faith," Minako shrugged. "That's really all I can say."

The other girl didn't look entirely convinced, but at least the conversation turned to other, happier things, for a while.

It was almost dinnertime as Usagi stood up and got ready to leave. Minako walked her to the front door.

Usagi paused at the front steps, looking again at the abused apple she held in her hand.

"So, did you want this apple or not? It's all gross now," Usagi asked.

"Way to sell it. Nah, I'm good."

"Guess I'll take it with me, then," Usagi said, "hey, you never know, I might find some innocent princess to murder between here and home."

"Like Natsumi?" Minako smirked, closing the door behind her.

As she bounded down the sidewalk in the setting sun, Usagi eyed the apple like she was imagining Natsumi choking on it. And then felt guilty.

"Aw, screw it," she said, and took a bite.

It was mushy and gross, so she threw it in a trash can a block from Minako's house.