Hey guys! This is a quick one shot i wrote, The Doctor in this i would imagine is much older than he is currently. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: (I keep forgetting to do this on my stories.. think i'm in denial.) I don't own Doctor Who, or any of the characters. /3

:)

It's funny, firsts and lasts were always complicated; timey wimey, happy, sad, unexpected. The worst thing, he found, was the never knowing. Never knowing if this was the last time they kissed, the first for her, never knowing if it was the last time he'd see her, but the first time they met. He messed up their first kiss. Her last. Seeing her face on the TARDIS screen had killed him. So he had run.

Sometimes he hated it. They always seemed to meet in the wrong order. He never knew how old she would be, the only thing he could guarantee was the painful knowledge that the next time they would meet she would know him even less. He was dreading the day he kissed that woman, a woman that hardly knew who he was... A woman that had never kissed him. His last kiss with that wonderful woman. He dreaded his last kiss, he dreaded her meeting him for the first time, the day he would know everything about her, and she nothing about him. He dreaded her firsts and his lasts, her past and his future.

He was so focused on their firsts and lasts; he failed to realize that there was a day in the middle, when they were both on the same page. The day when their firsts were also their lasts. The day that Melody Pond and The Doctor fell in love. The day he truly became her doctor; the day they were married, underneath a burning red sky.

"The day's coming when I'll look into that man's eyes—my Doctor—and he won't have the faintest idea who I am. And I think it's going to kill me."

Thing is- meeting her for the first time, seeing her eyes with no recognition in them, it just might kill him too.

It just might.