All characters (c) Satou Keiichi

Summary: Tiger comes to work with an annoying cold... Bunny can't tell if his annoyance at this stems from germophobia, his partner's tupidity, or concern.

Enigmatic Enmity

Barnaby Brooks Jr, oh so cleverly nicknamed "Bunny" by his co-worker, was annoyed.

That in and of itself was nothing new. Being annoyed, for him, had become rather commonplace since the start of this catastrophic partnership. Since Kaburagi Kotetsu had the natural effect of raising everyone's blood pressures the moment he walked into a room, it was even more common for him to be the cause of Barnaby's annoyance.

As he was now.

Today had begun as one of those miserable November Mondays that questioned one's decision to even get out of bed in the first place. It was a Monday full of hail, rain, and screaming gales more appropriate to an off-key and tone deaf soprano than to the wind. It was the kind of weather that put dampers on sunny moods, and the kind that even the most pernicious of evildoers felt reluctance to brave. Only Lloyds seemed to enjoy the storm, seeing it as an excellent chance for Apollon Media to get caught up with their paperwork. Anybody who didn't like it, he said, could quit.

Barnaby didn't mind the rain either, since his mood had already been ruined the moment his co-worker walked through the door. Barnaby had seen that look and posture before; it was the "I'm-not-at-my-best-but-goddammit-I'm-going-to-do-my-work" slouch, usually attributed to hangovers, self-inflicted injuries, or just plain laziness. Kotetsu plopped into his blue swivel chair at the L-shaped desk next to Barnaby's and prepared for Lloyds's tirade on collateral damage and property lawsuits and whatnot (since most of it was his fault anyway). After it was all said and done, he rubbed his temples and responded with a "yeah, yeah, gotcha."

Definitely a hangover, Barnaby initially thought. And honestly, the guy was supposed to be his role model. What a joke. Now the old geezer would gripe about his headache for the next few hours until he could go get himself a latte.

But today was a day for new discoveries, it seemed. By ten o' clock Barnaby almost wished it had been a hangover. In fact, he now pleaded for it to be a hangover, and that he was simply mistaken in his conclusions. Naturally, the universe had decided to rear back its colossal head and laugh at him today, adding insult to the deluge outside. The only thing worse than a hungover partner, Barnaby discovered once Kotetsu began to sneeze, was a sick partner.

Today, he also found out that when sick, Kotetsu Kaburagi was even more of a nuisance than he was normally. Joy.

Barnaby ignored the first sneeze, and the second. He had tried hard to ignore the third, but by the twentieth (not that he had been keeping count) Barnaby's blood pressure was reaching dangerously unhealthy proportions. His pronounced irritation, which was the general Default Reaction to being in the same room as Kotetsu for more than five minutes at a time, was either the product of germophobia, his partner's stupidity, or concern. At the moment, Barnaby could not tell which.

For some reason the rest of the office seemed to be blocking out the noise perfectly fine, all except for him. As Kotetsu plucked a tissue from the red box on his desk and blew his nose for the umpteenth time that morning, Barnaby slammed his laptop shut and abruptly rose.

Kotetsu looked up from behind his tissue, cleared his throat, and asked innocently enough, "Something wrong, Bunny?"

"If you're sick, you should be home," Barnaby snapped, eyeing the wastebasket full of used tissues beside the desk. It was an eyesore, and was bothering him more than it probably should have been.

"Nah, it's just a little cold," Kotestsu replied, waving his hand dismissively. A humored tawny eye appeared beneath his hat a moment later. "Are you worrying about me again?"

Barnaby could ring this guy's neck, he really could. "That was one time, and you got injured on my behalf," he replied tersely, referring to the Lunatic fiasco a few months ago. "This time you're just being an idiot."

"Idiot?" Kotetsu looked mildly miffed as he twisted the Kleenex and tossed it into the trash bin. "If you're so annoyed, then go somewhere else." He gave a wet sniff that made Barnaby cringe in disgust.

"That's not the point," Barnaby grit out as he watched Kotetsu bend over in another sneeze that sprayed countless germs over his papers and the desk. He would have to Clorox-wipe the entire area down later.

"Geez! Look, I'm not running a fever," Kotetsu pointed out after he had recovered, rubbing his nose. "I told you, it's just a little s-sniff-sniffl-" he broke off, his eyes losing focus and his breath beginning to hitch. Quickly, he grabbed another Kleenex and braced himself. Barnaby sighed and rolled his eyes. He had rarely heard his partner sneeze in all their months of working together-and when he had he never really thought about it. Upon further observation Barnaby had never heard anything so akin to an exploding engine.

Kotetsu, on the other hand, was sneezing and coughing too hard to really contemplate such things. At least he had the decency to cover his mouth, which Barnaby had not been expecting from him. Barnaby waited for him to finish, his only outward indication of concern, if you'd call it that, was a subtle push of his glasses up his nose.

There was a heavy silence in the air when Kotetsu appeared to be done, and Barnaby told himself that there was no way in hell he was saying "bless you." But, he had to say something.

"...Are you okay?"

It was a phrase Kotetsu often asked him, but one that he almost never asked in return. It just wasn't his thing.

Kotetsu groaned and blew his nose heartily. "Well this just sucks," he said, still coughing and harrumphing noisily.

Barnaby pushed in his chair and took out his keys. "Come on."

"Eh?"

"Home," Barnaby snapped. "I'll tell Lloyd's you're leaving."

"I can still work," Kotetsu protested, gesturing to his papers indignantly.

"Please. You've been sneezing since you walked in the door, putting the Heroes at risk as well as yourself."

"Well y'know, the only other Hero here is you, Bunny..."

"Yes, and if I utter so much as one cough after this I will personally tell Lloyds about who really destroyed his copier last week."

Kotetsu pouted. "Well aren't you a spoilsport," he grumbled, but got up nonetheless. "Okay, Bunny, let's go. And by 'home' do you mean mine or yours?"

"Yours, imbecile. I'm not taking care of you; you're an adult."

/

A week later, Barnaby Brooks sneezed. It was a rather quiet sneeze, controlled elegantly behind one hand, but Kotetsu heard it nonetheless.

"Oh! Gesundheit, Bunny," he exclaimed, eyes wide. In a somewhat smug gesture, he pushed his box of Kleenex closer to Barnaby's side of the desk.

Barnaby wrinkled his nose in a sniff (which really did make him look like a rabbit, Kotetsu chuckled to himself) and said nothing. After another minute, Kotetsu saw his nose crinkle up again. "Y'know if you hold your breath and count to ten it helps," he suggested. Barnaby pointedly ignored him and sneezed anyway.

"Goodness," Kotetsu plucked a tissue from the box and waved it in front of his partner. "That didn't sound too good. You really should take one of these."

Glaring, Barnaby snatched the tissue away. "I think," he said quietly, green eyes narrowing, "that I have something very important to tell Lloyds."

Kotetsu blanched. "N-now wait a minute, Bunny-no! Hey!" He jumped up as Barnaby rose wordlessly and headed for the main office room.

"I didn't mean it! HEEEEYY!"

end.