BleachBook Chapter 7
A/N: Thanks to YuYuInuWolf for certain ideas about Aizen! You all should thank her, as her ideas pretty much inspired me to write this chapter. So thank you, YuYuInuWolf, and EVERYBODY who reviewed. I eagerly read each and every one. You guys are my inspiration!
ENJOY!
Disclaimer: Bleach and Facebook do NOT belong to me!
IceDragon Hitsugaya Matsumoto, where are you?
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Taichou Nanao and 48 others like this.
Comments:
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto luuuullllll whaaaadaya want taichsfsfhnghergbvjhxcvjkou
Shuhei 69 Hisagi I think she was trying to say 'taichou.' -12 people like this-
Yumichika BEAUTIFUL Ayasegawa Pointing out the obvious is so ugly!
IceDragon Hitsugaya …Remember, we're supposed to meet up to search for Inoue? Kuchiki-taichou, Kusajishi-fukutaichou, Zaraki-taichou, Kurosaki, Uryuu, Yasutora, and others are already here. -67 people like this-
Kuchiki Byakuya Having to wait is a waste of my time and a blow to my pride.
Zaraki Demonslayer Kenpachi Shaddap, pretty boy, before I smash that pride you love so much. Noob.
Kuchiki Byakuya I believe you just insulted me. Commoners have no right to slander the Kuchiki name.
Zaraki Demonslayer Kenpachi Ya don't say? And who ya calling a commoner, pansyass?
Kuchiki Byakuya It appears you are suicidal.
Zaraki Demonslayer Kenpachi Damn right I am!
Kuchiki Byakuya Do you wish to take this outside?
Zaraki Demonslayer Kenpachi Ya bet I do!
Kuchiki Byakuya Karakura Town park. Five minutes.
Zaraki Demonslayer Kenpachi Fuck yes.
Yachiru Candy Kusajishi Ken-chan and Byakushi fight! YAY!
-oOoOo-
Kuchiki Rukia Anyone with information about Inoue's whereabouts will be greatly rewarded! If you do have info, call or text my Soul Pager!
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Renji Awesomecakes Abarai and 93 others like this.
Comments:
Taichou Nanao You still haven't found her?
Kuchiki Rukia Seven hours of searching through Karakura Town, checking for portals, and interrogating Hollows, all for nothing. -44 people like this-
Taichou Nanao Well, if you want, Urahara and I can sweep Seireitei using equipment left behind from Kurotsuchi-taichou. Who knows, she might've gotten lost here… -62 people like this-
Kuchiki Rukia Thanks, Nanao!
Shunsui SakeGod Kyouraku My lovely Nanao-chan is on…first name basis with the dastardly Urahara! !
Taichou Nanao Here we go again…
-oOoOo-
Shunsui SakeGod Kyouraku - Kisuke Urahara SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN SO CLOSE TO NANAO-CHAN? KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HER, DEVIL!111!11111!1!
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Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto and 2 others like this.
Comments:
Kisuke Urahara If I may, Kyouraku-taichou, you sound like a fangirl. -23 people like this-
Shunsui SakeGod Kyouraku HANDS OFF NANAO, PRETTY BOY.
Taichou Nanao Urahara, I sincerely apologize for my fool of an ex-taichou. -18 people like this-
Shunsui SakeGod Kyouraku EX? NANAO HAS THROWN ME AWAY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Kisuke Urahara It's fine, it's fine.
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto HEY YO EVERYONEEE LETS GO GETZ DRUNKKKKKKK ALRIGHTTTTTT?
-oOoOo-
IceDragon Hitsugaya SERIOUSLY, where is Matsumoto?
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Momo Peaches Hinamori and 94 others like this.
Comments:
Momo Peaches Hinamori Um…Earlier, Rangiku-san tried to get me to go drinking with her in the Shopping District, but I refused…so she might be there… -34 people like this-
Shunsui SakeGod Kyouraku As I was eating to relieve some of my pain at Ichiraku Ramen, the ramen shop in the Shopping district, Matsumoto ran past me with two bottles of sake in each hand! I would've joined her, but that miso ramen is good… -31 people like this-
Kira Izuru I was on my way to the supermarket at the eastern end of the Shopping District and s-she almost ran me down. -24 people like this-
IceDragon Hitsugaya I checked each of those places! Where. Can. She. Be?
Shunsui SakeGod Kyouraku I hope she didn't steal one of the Senkaimon Portals again. Old man Yama's gonna be mad. -49 people like this-
Juushiro Ukitake I don't suppose she decided to use one of the Portals to get to Antarctica and play with the penguins again? -17 people like this-
IceDragon Hitsugaya NOT AGAIN...
Shuhei 69 Hisagi I suppose this isn't a good time to mention seeing a half-naked Matsumoto dance on the tabletops at our usual bar. -77 people like this-
-oOoOo-
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto added 15 photos to the album DRUNK DANCING! NAUGHTYNAUGHTY~ ;D
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Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame and 20 others like this.
Comments:
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame Hot damn! -45 people like this-
IceDragon Hitsugaya So, Madarame, you just got out of the hospital, eh?
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame Yes…
IceDragon Hitsugaya Would you like to go back?
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame …No, sir…
IceDragon Hitsugaya I thought so.
-oOoOo-
I AM AIZEN BE SCARED, SHINIGAMI, FOR I AM COMING TO TAKE MY RIGHTFUL PLACE AS KING! I HAVE INOUE ORIHIME, AND WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO EXERT DEADLY FORCE. BEWRAE!
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Comments:
Ishida Uryuu Sorry to burst your bubble, but you misspelled 'BEWARE.' -69 people like this-
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai Yeah…so, about that…who are you again? -51 people like this-
I AM AIZEN I AM AIZEN
Retsu Unohana Oh dear, could this be another case of amnesia? We've sure had a lot of those lately… -64 people like this-
I AM AIZEN NO, I AM AIZEN!
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki Where's Inoue?
I AM AIZEN HAHAHAHAHA SHE IS IN A COMA, AT THE MERCY OF MY DEVASTATING BLADE!
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime Aizen-chan's really nice, you know? He even lent me a laptop and gave me some ice cream!
Kuchiki Rukia Something tells me we don't have much to worry about, guys. -72 people like this-
I AM AIZEN NO, SHUT UP! I AM AIZEN! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL!
Momo Peaches Hinamori A-Aizen-taichou? Is it really you? I've missed you!
Momo Peaches Hinamori AIZEN-TAICHOU! I STILL BELIEVE IN YOU!
Momo Peaches Hinamori Please speak to me, taichou!
Momo Peaches Hinamori Taichou!
IceDragon Hitsugaya MATSUMOTOOOOO I TOLD YOU TO KEEP HINAMORI OFF THE COMPUTER! DAMN IT, WOMAN! -29 people like this-
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto Oopsie, sorry… I blame Shunsui, he offered me the sake.
Shunsui SakeGod Kyouraku Rangiku! You said you wouldn't tattle on me!
IceDragon Hitsugaya I'll freeze both of you!
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto Your own wife? So YOU'RE going to change the kids' diapers? Tend to them at 4 in the morning? Clean their poop? -13 people like this-
IceDragon Hitsugaya ...
IceDragon Hitsugaya Of course not, sweetie…drink all the sake you want…
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki I feel you, bro… -4 people like this-
I AM AIZEN SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME! IF YOU WANT INOUE BACK…
Kisuke Urahara Ah, may I take this time to interrupt? Sorry, but Nanao and I have managed to track down this guy's IP Address. Apparently, he lives at 123 ForeverAlone Street, Karakura Town. -94 people like this-
I AM AIZEN GODDAMMIT.
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki Thanks guys. I'm on my way.
-oOoOo-
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime Ahhhh, that was a fun vacation!
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Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto and 52 others like this.
Comments:
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki That was almost too easy, to be honest. Seriously, what was an obese otaku doing pretending to be Aizen? Pathetic. -78 people like this-
Ishida Uryuu Inoue…you had no idea of your situation, huh? -19 people like this-
Kuchiki Rukia How did he even manage to kidnap you, anyways?
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime I was shopping and then he popped up and offered me lollipops! :D
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki Inoue…please don't tell me you walked off with a shady fat guy who claimed to be Aizen because he presented you with candy. PLEASE. -55 people like this-
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime Sure did! He had a pretty white van too! He called it the Candy Van!
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki Inoue, Inoue, Inoue…what am I going to do with you… -9 people like this-
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime Ichigo-kun, did I do something wrong?
IceDragon Hitsugaya My God, she's worse than Matsumoto! -21 people like this-
-oOoOo-
Kuchiki Byakuya I LOVE YACHIRU SOOOO MUCH HAHAHAHOHOHOHO YAYYYYYYYY.
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Yachiru Candy Kusajishi and 49 others like this.
Comments:
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai …C-Captain…?... -88 people like this-
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame I'm literally shivering right now. -63 people like this-
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki Oh God, oh God, oh God… -59 people like this-
Zaraki Demonslayer Kenpachi Yo, I think he's finally snapped. Bout time. -3 people like this-
Kuchiki Rukia Nii-sama…? -46 people like this-
Retsu Unohana ...Retrograde amnesia...? -5 people like this-
-oOoOo-
Kuchiki Byakuya changed his job to YACHIRU'S SLAVE.
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Yumchika BEAUTIFUL Ayasegawa and 37 others like this.
Comments:
Yumichika BEAUTIFUL Ayasegawa Oohhh, so Kuchiki-taichou is into S&M… I see, I see…
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki THE MENTAL IMAGES! SOMEONE POUR BLEACH INTO MY BRAIN! -92 people like this-
IceDragon Hitsugaya Something smells fishy… -33 people like this-
Kira Izuru I'm sorry for eating fish sticks! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Kira Izuru Please don't banish me from Seireitei!
Kira Izuru PLEASE.
Kira Izuru I am unfit to be a fukutaichou...
Retsu Unohana What did you say? You forgot about being a fukutaichou? It must be amnesia!
Kira Izuru I'm sorry! I'm sorry for having amnesia! I'm sorry!
IceDragon Hitsugaya What just happened. -85 people like this-
-oOoOo-
Kuchiki Byakuya Yachiru, have you been on my account again?
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Yachiru Candy Kusajishi likes this.
Comments:
Yachiru Candy Kusajishi Oh hai there Byakushi!
Kuchiki Byakuya …
-oOoOo-
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai Hey, did you know that if you type out your Facebook password, it comes up in asterisks? ******, see?
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Kira Izuru and 98 others like this.
Comments:
IceDragon Hitsugaya ******* Wow, it really works…
Kuchiki Rukia Haha, oh yeah. *********
Shunsui SakeGod Kyouraku Yep, yep, it sure works! *****
Juushiro Ukitake *******************
Juushiro Ukitake Oh my!
Shuhei 69 Hisagi ********. Cool! Maybe this can be featured in next month's issue of the Monthly Seireitei Bulletin!
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame Seriously, dude? Lemme see!
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame i-wish-i-had-hair. -104 people like this-
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki -43 people like this-
IceDragon Hitsugaya Fool. -39 people like this-
Kuchiki Byakuya Pathetic. You have no pride. -32 people like this-
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame ! I WILL KILL YOU!
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai Happy April Fools! -77 people like this-
-oOoOo-
Isane Kotetsu Unohana-taichou, there have been reports of a loud explosion near the sixth division barracks.
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Comments:
Retsu Unohana Oh my. Could it be amnesia?
Isane Kotetsu ...With all due respect, taichou...what's with you and amnesia?
Retsu Unohana Amnesia is very dangerous, you know? We shall proceed immediately to the sixth division barracks.
Isane Kotetsu Yes!
Retsu Unohana And bring the Amnesia Kits, Isane.
Isane Kotetsu ...Yes, taichou...
-oOoOo-
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai Seriously, it's our second time in the hospital in three weeks. Shit.
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Zaraki Demonslayer Kenpachi and 38 others like this.
Comments:
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame Goddammit, I blame you.
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai Whaddaya mean? You're the one who came to MY barracks and attacked me just because of a stupid April Fools Day prank!
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame Thanks to you, Yumichika and Kenpachi-taichou LAUGHED at me! They even offered me hair products, for fuck's sake!
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai Take a joke!
Kuchiki Byakuya Prideless bickering aside, who will it be to pay for the damage costs to my barracks, hmm? -36 people like this-
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame Renji's paying!
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai WHAT? Ikkaku's paying!
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame It's YOUR barracks!
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai You did most of the damage, chasing me around the barracks and swinging your zanpakuto abouve your head!
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame Your fault for running! You should've taken your beating! Like a MAN!
Iba Tetsuzaemon DID SOMEONE SAY 'MAN?' BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I AM!
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame SHUT UP!
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai GO AWAY!
Iba Tetsuzaemon My manly heart is shattered…
-oOoOo-
Kuchiki Rukia INOUE! GUESS WHAT?
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Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime likes this.
Comments:
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime WHAT?
Kuchiki Rukia ONE DIRECTION TICKETS!
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime NO WAY!
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki Hey, hey, haven't you guys learned your lesson after Mayuri was killed at one of those concerts?
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime Silly, that was a Justin Bieber concert! This is One Direction!
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki You're telling me there's a difference?
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai Give it up, Ichigo. It's hopeless. Just let them listen to their music…It's way better than having them give you a two hour lecture about Justin Direction or One Bieber…
Kuchiki Rukia That wasn't a lecture! And it's JUSTIN BIEBER and ONE DIRECTION! God, you're so hopeless!
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai …See?
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime Anyways, Rukia, isn't the concert tonight? Oh my God, we should get going!
Kuchiki Rukia Yay! See you, Renji. When I get back, we're going to have a loooong talk about One Direction and Justin!
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai Oh joy. I'm just counting down the seconds.
-oOoOo-
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai Approximately 2 hours, 37 minutes, and 58 seconds until the Bieber Direction or whatever concert ends. I must enjoy the rest of my brief freedom!
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Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto and 25 others like this.
Comments:
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki And I thought I had it bad with Inoue…you've just given me a whole new perception on life. -11 people like this-
IceDragon Hitsugaya Wait, I thought it was Direction Justin?
Kuchiki Byakuya I believe it was Bieber One Justin Direction, Hitsugaya-taichou.
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki Isn't it two acts? Justin One and Direction Bieber?
Zaraki Demonslayer Kenpachi So ya fools saying it ain't Justin One Bieber?
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto …You guys really are hopeless… -8 people like this-
-oOoOo-
Inoue JUSTINBIEBER Orihime changed her name to Inoue 1D Orihime.
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Taichou Nanao and 12 others like this.
Comments:
Kuchiki Rukia THEY WERE SOOOOO AWESOME!
Inoue 1D Orihime I KNOW RIGHT? 'THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL!' AHHHH ZAYN IS SO HOT. HE'S AMAZAYN!
Kuchiki Rukia No way! Niall is the cutest, but Liam is also hot!
Inoue 1D Orihime AHHHHHHHH THEY'RE SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEE!
-oOoOo-
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki I thought we were through with the whole boy-bands and pop star stage…
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IceDragon Hitsugaya and 56 others like this.
Comments:
IceDragon Hitsugaya This would be a good time to tell Matsumoto to take those Bieber Justin pictures off our walls. You're starting to influence the kids. -39 people like this-
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto But I like them!
IceDragon Hitsugaya Take them off or I'll take them off.
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto Oh yeah? Then I'll take your Disney on Ice posters down!
IceDragon Hitsugaya You wouldn't!
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto Oh yes I would! Starting with your First Edition Mickey Mouse on Ice poster! Your move.
IceDragon Hitsugaya Those posters are precious, Matsumoto. Family heirlooms.
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto So are those Justin Bieber pictures.
Renji Awesomecakes Abarai So does the boy captain have an obsession with Disney? -65 people like this-
IceDragon Hitsugaya NO I DO NOT.
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto Yes he does—his favorite's Mickey. Then it's Pluto and Minnie. -59 people like this-
IceDragon Hitsugaya
-oOoOo-
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto added 20 photos to the album TOSHIRO'S CUTE SLEEPING PICTURES! :D
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Shuhei 69 Hisagi and 91 others like this.
Comments:
IceDragon Hitsugaya MATSUMOTO. WHAT IS THIS?
Rangiku Hotstuff Matsumoto Revenge for spilling milk on my Justin pictures. –Kuchiki Rukia likes this-
Shuhei 69 Hisagi Guess who's sleeping face is going to be on the cover of the Monthly Seireitei Bulletin? -47 people like this-
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame Say, I wasn't interested in that Monthly crap before, but I think I'd like to get this month's copy, yeah? -30 people like this-
Kuchiki Rukia Oooh, good idea, Rangiku! I should do that to Renji—though I think it would be more effective if you drew on his face with Sharpie and THEN took photos. -3 people like this-
Juushiro Ukitake Oh how cute! Toshiro looks just like a younger me! WOULD YOU LIKE A LOLLIPOP?
IceDragon Hitsugaya NO. –Juushiro Ukitake likes this-
Yachiru Candy Kusajishi YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! LOLLI-LOLLI-POP! POP! POP! –Juushiro Ukitake likes this-
Juushiro Ukitake Hahaha, okay, I'll give both of you a few lollipops. Just a few, alright?
-oOoOo-
IceDragon Histugaya Help.
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Juushiro Ukitake and 26 others like this.
Comments:
Shunsui SakeGod Kyouraku What's wrong, Shiro-chan?
IceDragon Hitsugaya My name is Hitsugaya-taichou.
IceDragon Hitsugaya And I'm buried under a mountain of lollipops. -44 people like this-
Juushiro Ukitake My, my. And how did that happen, Toshiro?
IceDragon Histugaya You should know. –Juushiro Ukitake likes this-
Juushiro Ukitake But I only gave you a few…
IceDragon Hitsugaya A dozen 50-pound lollipops are not 'A FEW.'
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki 50 pounds…EACH? Well, shit. Not even Yachiru can eat that many. -52 people like this-
Yachiru Candy Kusajishi But I just ate fifty of them :D
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki Hey, Kenpachi and Byakuya, you ever think of taking Yachiru to the dentist?
Zaraki Demonslayer Kenpachi Doesn't need it. Once she bit through this motherfuckin' piece of steel shaped like a lollipop and didn't even notice it wasn't a lollipop 'til I pointed it out. -58 people like this-
Kuchiki Byakuya I attempted to, but she nearly bit my orthodontist's hand off. -66 people like this-
Ichigo Strawberry Kurosaki …Remind me to avoid the business end of Yachiru's mouth. -70 people like this-
Ikkaku Deathgod Madarame I learned that the hard way…and have the teeth-shaped scars to prove it…
Yachiru Candy Kusajishi CANDY!
A/N: Yeah, I completely forgot what Tetsuzaemon's Facebook name was, and I'm too lazy to go back and check.
Remembering the FB names of, like, more than 20 Bleach characters can be hard—especially since most of them have these stupid 'nicknames' or 'middle names' or whatever that I thought were clever but have gotten extremely annoying to type…
Anyways, there's no cliffhanger this time—though Yachiru gets the last word, because she's just that awesome. The main problem I have with this FanFic is that I'm out of clever ideas, and I'd rather not update than update a bad chapter.
However, I don't think I'm going to end it this way. There will PROBABLY be another chapter. Eventually.
Reviews do convince me to write more. I probably wouldn't even have written this chapter if it wasn't for a few reviews that I thought were funny. If you have an idea—and idea that you think would be good for another chapter—PLEASE tell me, because I'm totally out of creative, humorous plots.
So please review if you want another chapter…
Thanks for reading!
~HauntedMoonlight~