God Damn It! Chapter 1: Rebirth, a katekyo hitman reborn! fanfic

Okay...I'm not sure if this will work. It's just a random idea I picked out in a really boring class, so bear with me on this...

I apologize in advance for grammatical errors, bad spelling and weird use of language. If the characters seem OOC, I will fix it...eventually (by killing off a few people, making up tragic events, etc etc). Romance will occur...eventually.

Please enjoy :]

Chapter 1 - Rebirth

Before that night, my life had been boring. Ordinary if you must; but I would rather be in those shoes than the ones I would be in. If only I had known.

My name is Alexandra Knight. Or was...but that's not the point. I was fifteen, an only child, ranked third in my year (I could've been first if I hadn't been dead last in sport), and currently addicted to Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

"Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn is epically awesome!" I chanted with a classmate.

"OMG, have you read the new chapter of My Heavenly Judgement?" she rambled, absorbed into the topic.

In response, I tried to do an impersonation of Bel's laugh. "~Ushi shi shi shi~...of course! I can't wait until the next chapter." The rest of our class groaned. They'd had enough of our fangirl squeals, rants and mimics.

"Aren't you over that already?" one whined.

"Shut up..." another advised.

For the rest of the lesson, we discussed who was hotter, cooler, or better. We even got as far onto how much we hated minor characters. Our teacher had long given up on us, and attempted to teach the remaining students. Eventually, the bell rang and we went to our separate classes.

The remainder of the day was very much the same: there was only so much you could learn from the Merchant of Venice. How were a bunch of people who couldn't stop saying 'thou' and 'thy' going to help you in real life?

Come to think of it, school was a stupid idea. Knowing about the 'magical properties' of triangles wasn't helpful at all – nor Henry VIII's numerous wives, for that matter. Seriously, who cares about the past? It's...the past. The future was far more important.

My logic worked like this: On a cold dark night, you're for some reason, alone. In a cliché dark alley. Suddenly, you're getting mugged and this guy says: "Give me you purse!"

And obviously, you'd say something like: "Aaarrrggghhhh! Shylock's anger at Antonio is caused by anti-Semitism and prejudice. Don't kill me!"

And of course the guy would just sit down, look interested and say. "Oh my, that's so interesting! Please tell me more."

No kidding.

And so, one night after countless hours of worshipping KHR fanfiction, I wondered about this.

School is pointless. It would be so cool if everything was like KHR...mafia and bishies...now that's the life! Glancing at my alarm clock, I realised it was some ungodly hour in the morning. Inspired by a sudden thought, I made a wish. I wish I was in KHR! And with that, I fell asleep.

What I didn't know, was that at that moment, a wishing star streaked the sky, twinkled then disappeared.

I lost everything. And I was reborn; into the world of Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn.

The day of my birth was not meant to be a celebrated day. Firstly, my 'parents' were perfectly happy with their six year old son; Superbi Squalo...or my new brother. I was just an 'accident', if you know what I mean. How this thing worked...well, it was like that whole God thing. I was in KHR, but I wasn't in KHR. Just like how Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit are apparently three and one.

The moment I opened my eyes, both my parents had to agree that they were perhaps...wrong about their initial judgement. My eyes apparently were full of 'tranquillity'. And so, they named me Serena, and kept me; instead of their initial plan of abandoning me at the local orphanage.

That day also happened to Squalo's first day of primary school for Mafioso kids. It was halfway through the school year; but his parents insisted that he would make more of an entrance, thus opening more career opportunities. (A/N: I'm not going to call him Superbi coz that would just sound weird O_o).

He did not have a good day.

He was late – because his Mom conveniently went into labor on the way. Once he reached school, he was yelled at by his teacher and was slapped. When he threw the teacher's stapler and stapled the teacher (later arguing that he was just giving it back), he was sent to the principal's office. The result was a month's worth of 'push up' detention.

When he was finally allowed to return to class, he had missed out on making a macaroni gun; and was left to sing ridiculous mafia nursery rhymes along with the rest of his class. After they were dismissed and he finished his first detention (1000 push ups took a while), nobody came to pick him up – and was left with no option but to walk the long trip home. It was past midnight by the time he returned.

Hence it was expected for him to be in a horrible mood when he slammed open his front door.

"VOI! Why didn't you come to pick me up?" he yelled, looking around the house for his parents.

The Squalo household in truth wasn't very large. Both parents were in fact related to the mafia – his mother a weapons designer and father an informer – internationally wanted by large mafia families and the police. They were barely in their thirties, and very rich. So why the small house? It was easier to keep an eye on things. And it was still comfortable.

He found his father sitting at the kitchen table, drinking from a bottle of whisky. "Superbi...I'm so sorry, I forgot you were at school..." his father apologized.

"You forgot? How could you forget?! It was my first day! And do you know how far I had to walk?" Squalo ranted angrily, waving his hands.

"I'm sorry...your mother and I had to look after your sister," the man explained. Squalo looked away. A sister? A little brother would have been better...some little kid to beat up. But a sister? Oh come on.

She may've only been a day old, but Squalo was already thinking about murder.

Yet, he still felt a tinge of jealousy. As a single child, his parents had been close to spoiling him - well, every now and then when their attention was actually on him. Now what?

His father smirked at his childish behavior. "Do you want to see her?" he teased.

"Go die in a hole," Squalo muttered, and stomped to his room. As he passed his parents room, he caught a glance of a tiny figure – so innocent; so fragile...but no. He quickly broke his gaze and kicked his door shut.

It was in fact a three weeks before he paid his sister any attention. Both his parents were working and on 'business', which left him as the only one to look after her. He had put up a fight; but there was barely any point when both his parents were professionally qualified hitmen.

And so, Squalo was left sulking in the corner of his parent's room, locked in with the one person he didn't want to see.

Babies are interesting things. They cry whenever something is wrong; Squalo didn't know that. Granted he was only six, but nonetheless, when Serena began bawling, his anger reached new levels.

"VOI! What do you want? Just shut up already!" he yelled, and it had no effect whatsoever. Squalo walked over to her and shoved a hand over her mouth. After some time, she ceased crying and looked up at him with teary eyes. Feeling just slightly guilty, he let go, since she'd stopped crying. He sat down hard, next to the crib and sighed.

Serena had stopped crying, and found interest at her new-found brother. Hesitantly, she stretched her hand out of the crib and poked his face. Squalo looked at Serena, she looked back; they shared a moment. A sibling moment. Sighing, Squalo looked away hastily. Well since she wasn't going to be dying off any time soon, he might as well make a good impression on her. After all, the only thing more annoying than a sister was an irritating one. He felt something yank on his hair.

"What?" His question was unanswered when she made a gurgling sound. "Toilet? Toys? Illness? Death? What is it?!" Squalo mentally slapped himself. Of course. She didn't know how to talk. Instead, her stomach grumbled – and Squalo understood. She was hungry. He pulled a half eaten packet of chips and offered her some – but she just sat there.

"It's food. Eat." He mumbled, shoving a piece into her mouth. She seemed to gag, and attempted to spit it out. He then realised – no teeth. Just perfect. He rolled his eyes. Now they would just have to wait until their parents returned.

But by nightfall, their parents had not returned. To be honest, Squalo was hungry, tired and struggling to find his patience. Serena didn't even have the energy to cry and piss him off. Squalo stood up. He didn't care about the consequences; he was going to get them out of the damn room.

Walking to the door, he hesitantly placed a hand and pushed. His parents argued a fair bit. A lot of door abuse had accumulated over the years, and it shifted a little. Straightening up, he took a few steps back, ran towards the door and placed a kick near the edge. Besides the pain, there was no effect. Again. And again. And again. Eventually, it snapped open, and he dragged his sister to the kitcen.

And that was how their parents found them the next morning – asleep at the kitchen table, baby food, milk powder and bread strewn around them.

As time passed, Squalo was a decent brother. When Serena woke up crying in the middle of the night, he was always the first one to get her to be quiet. When their parents were on 'business', he looked after her. And on a normal basis, he was her role model. Perhaps not the best of role models...but she still learnt a lot.

Like, when she was seven months old, Squalo was doing his homework. She had crawled into his room, and watched him; frustrated trying to do his homework.

"Fuck...how am I meant to know the fifth strongest mafia family?" he had growled to himself. Serena continued staring. "The Vongola has a secret assassination squad...what is it called?" he read out loud. "Damn! If it's secret, how the hell is anyone going to know what it's called?" With that statement, Squalo threw the sheet onto the floor, began jumping up and down on it, and swore as loud as he could.

"You – fuck – ing- piece – of – trash – should – go fuck – yourself – no – good – piece – of scum – fuck – off – bastard – teacher – " He would've gladly continued if he had not suddenly caught sight Serena, who was staring with interest at his behavior.

Busted.

"VOI! Whatever happens between these walls, stays between these walls. Got it?" he warned the baby, who in return absent-mindedly nodded.

That night, Serena began saying her first word.

"Ma – pa – ff – ka - " she tried.

"It's going to be papa," her father betted, bringing out a twenty euro bill.

"Is not! I'm saying it's mama!" her mother retaliated, also drawing out twenty euro bill.

"Da – ma – pa – fa – " she continued. Both parents waited, on the edge of their seats.

"Fa – fa...fuck!" Serena giggled happily. Both parents gaped and turned as one to Squalo, who was innocently eating a piece of broccoli.

"VOI! Why are you looking at me for?"

"WHY YOU LITTLE - "

The result? He had to walk to and back from school for a week.

Serena was a fast learner. By her second birthday, she had already learned to talk – and like Squalo, her parents insisted she learn several languages. French, Japanese, Italian, English. It would become handy in the future.

It was also around this time she began to walk. Her first steps were controlled by Squalo – who was doing a science experiment to contradict his teacher ('children can't teach'), but unfortunately Squalo received a month's worth of detention due to the teacher's humiliation. From his calculations, he would have detention a month after he left primary school.

All in all, Serena had grown into quite the cute child – short, innocent eyes and a habit of large smiles. And by her third birthday, Squalo and Serena had grown inseparable.

Despite Squalo's perfect grades, he was didn't get along with his teachers, and had broken numerous records for the number of detentions and teacher's who'd run away from the school, screaming.

He'd just finished another detention and his father late, so he was forced to wait with the other detainees. It just so happened that the schools most arrogant seniors decided to try their chances and pick on the weakest kid in the school. Dino Cavallone.

"Ha ha! You call that a push up, pipsqueak?" one of them sneered, kicking Dino to the floor. A teacher looked up from his novel, and looked back down. Hey; it was a mafia school. Bullying and fights were encouraged.

Squalo raised an eyebrow. He didn't care about who beat up who, but he respected the weak blonde's defiant look. "They're still better than yours, asshole."

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?!" another retorted angrily. "This is - "

"An asshole. Didn't you hear?" The room had gone silent. Squalo had quite the reputation in the school – his intelligence, athleticism and attitude were unmatched.

The leader took a moment to study Squalo, and grabbed the front of his shirt. "So oldy, what's up with the white hair?"

"Voi. What's up with your face?"

Sneer. "There's nothing wrong with my face."

Squalo rammed his forehead into the older boy, his mouth twitching into a small smile as he felt the other's nose break. "Well now there is."

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" the class chanted happily, glad for an excuse for a break.

With their leader down, the three others regrouped and drew their weapons. Two had flick knives and the other had a baton. They charged as one, and Squalo made his way for the least experienced of the three. As they came within inches of each other, Squalo pushed the startled boy into the other two, and the trio toppled over, knives meeting flesh.

At that moment, the door of the classroom opened and his father and sister walked in. Now at the age of three, her hair was a shoulder length white and wore a black bow in her hair. "Hey bro!" Serena called out happily, completely unaware of the surrounding events.

Turning around at his sister's voice, he didn't notice the one of the boys lunge forward to stab him. "Duck!" Serena commanded; and Squalo did so just in time, trusting her voice. Any later, and he would've been skewered - instead, he received a cut on his arm.

"I hope you've got health insurance," Squalo growled, cracking his knuckles, "coz this won't be cheap to fix."

With a sigh, his father intervened. "All right, that's enough!" he yelled, dragging Squalo away.

"I'm not done yet!" Squalo insisted, attempting to go after the cowering boys.

"You've done enough," his father pointed out, continuing to drag him by the collar. "And those brats belong to a family I'd rather not mess with."

Embarrassed by the whole ordeal, the leader got to his feet and charged at Squalo. But before another fight could ensue, Serena casually stuck out her foot and placed a chair in the path of the young teen's face.

Smiling innocently, she broke into grin, running after her family. "Ciao!"

It wasn't until they arrived home when the interrogation began. The head of the Squalo household was an informant. He had his methods on gaining the information. "Did you start that fight?!"

Squalo glared back. "No."

"Oh really? Then why the hell - "

"Let's discuss your punishment," his mother tried more gently. "We could let that cut get infected."

"...I'm going to my room."

Sighing, his parents watched him leave. "Well, look on the bright side. At least Superbi's not the kid with half his face smashed in."

"Those boys had weapons. We might as well give him one too," his father suggested, eager to ease the mood.

"You know damn well that the reason you had to stop the fight was because Squalo would've beat the living shit out of them right?"

I listened quietly at their conversation from my room. Thin walls had an 'up' side. As my parents words became more hushed, I pressed my ear onto the wall.

"Though really, Serena's the one to blame for smashing in that kid's face..." I heard my father mutter. "For the love of God, I hope she grows up easier to deal with."

I could imagine my mother shrugging. "We should send her to school then."

"Isn't she still a bit young? It's hard to get in; and she'll only have one shot."

"She's bored! How many three year olds aren't fazed by graphic violence? We might as well send in an application," my mother finished. "And we agreed preschool was stupid."

"Fine. I'll get the application papers tomorrow."

Grinning to myself, I stretched on my bed. This was kinda like a new beginning, right?

What's up? The sky...yeah I know...

Anyways, sorry about the jumps between first and third person - it just sounds really weird if it's all in third or all in first so...a mixture. The story right now kinda does seem slightly random, but I'm working on it...kinda. Have a nice day; ciao :]