BLACK SWAN

Rating: M
Pairing: Bella/Alice
Setting: Shortly after New Moon, in an alternate world

How could I let this happen?

I don't understand...how could I DO something like this?

This is seriously the worst thing I've ever done in my life. By far.

This may just be the worst thing anyone's ever done!

It's just so WRONG!

I feel sick. How could I do that to him?

I'm not even GAY.

His sister. His own SISTER. I'm sick. I'm disgusting.

I don't even really know how it happened...I mean, I've known her for years and I never thought of her that way. I never thought of any girl that way!

It was HIS fault though. If he wasn't such a frigid bastard I wouldn't have gotten so worked up and acted on it.

He should have just taken care of me like a REAL man should. Then this never would have happened.

I keep replaying it over and over...I don't know how it started. Why I didn't stop it. Why SHE didn't stop it.

We were just having a girl's movie night...like we always do. How did it go so wrong?

Let me back up a little.

Ok so I'm Bella, I'm eighteen and my boyfriend Edward is a vampire. We've been together about a year, well if you include the time he broke up with me and left me a shattered vegetable.

He came back though, or rather, Alice did (long story) and we're back together now. I've mostly forgiven him for leaving, and things are pretty good between us.

Except for one, big, glaring problem.

Edward refuses to ahh...how do I put this nicely? Take our relationship to the next level? Be more...physical?

The boy won't fuck me.

At first it was all sweet and everything. I was underage, he was a gentleman. It was actually really nice that he didn't want to take advantage of me, and I respected him for it.

But now...it's just plain frustrating. He gets in my bed with me, kisses me until I'm practically begging for it, then stops and says something condescending like "I don't want to hurt you."

I faced the VOLTURI for this guy and he's afraid to hurt me?

The more this goes on the more I think he's just not interested in me "that" way. He loves me, that much is obvious, but I wonder if he has confused his friendship love for me with romantic love, like my male best friend Jacob did. Now that was just awkward.

Maybe Edward and I are meant to be more like best friends, like me and his sister Alice. She's my best friend, we go shopping (mostly against my will) and have movie nights when Edward is out hunting. We cuddle and hold hands and snuggle on my bed, and there's nothing more to it.

Well, at least there wasn't. Until one day it all went terribly wrong...

It was just going to be an ordinary movie night. Edward was having a hunting weekend with the boys, and as usual Alice was my babysitter. Edward was always so damn overprotective of me. It was sweet but well...sometimes a bit much.

Especially in the bedroom department.

Every night, Edward would come into my room and get me all worked up. Kissing, touching...then him pulling away when I was all hot and bothered. Then he expected me to just roll over and go to sleep all horny and uncomfortable in my wet pajama bottoms.

Then he'd be there in the morning, and I got a few minutes alone to get dressed and ready for school. Then it was a long painful day at school, I'd drive home and Edward would already be in my bedroom waiting for me.

Most teenage boys would be jumping on their girlfriend if they were alone in her bedroom while her father was at work. Most girls would be fighting him off while he insisted he was getting blue balls.

Edward and I were so backwards.

I'm not some kind of deviant, I swear! I'm just a normal teenage girl with a healthy curiosity, and a good looking boyfriend who won't go past first base.

I was getting increasingly sexually frustrated. Edward insisted on being with me day and night, and if he was away, then I had Alice by my side for girly sleepovers and shopping expeditions.

Not that I didn't love spending time with Alice, but the annoying thing was with the constant supervision, I wasn't able to erm...take care of myself.

I kept looking for opportunities to sneak off alone and take care of the ever increasing ache between my legs. But with two vampires watching my every move, one of them with psychic abilities...well the opportunities were rare to say the least. Not to mention with their super hearing, it's not like I could just sneak into the bathroom and have a little self fun without them hearing me.

And me dying of embarrassment.

I'd even tried to talk to Alice about it. As my best friend I thought she could give me advice, since she was married and all she must know a thing or two. But when I asked about sex she'd just shrug and mumble it was overrated, painful and boring, then change the subject.

Sigh.

That night...THE night...I was almost crawling out of my skin. When Edward was saying goodbye to me in my bedroom he kissed me slow, the way I like, and I felt myself getting all warm and tingly.

"Since you're going away and I'll miss you, how about giving me a little more?" I whispered, trying my best to look seductive.

He gave me that fatherly look and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Now, now Bella. You know we can't. I will not risk your life that way."

"I'll take the risk!" I was almost begging, I knew it, but the throbbing between my legs was getting unbearable and I just wanted him to take it away.

"I will not put you in harms way for the sake of...sexual relations." He said the last two words with disdain.

Ugh! Did he have to be such a prude? He was such a goody goody! Did this boy have any sex drive at all? Was he even HUMAN?

Oh wait...no, he wasn't. Was that it? Did vampires not have sex drives? Alice didn't seem terribly interested in it either when I approached the subject with her. But no, according to the whole family, Emmett and Rosalie were like crazed Energizer bunny rabbits when it came to sex. So SOME vampires were getting some, it seemed.

After Edward left I checked the clock. It was 5:30pm, and Alice was due around 6. I had half an hour to get ready. Should I...

It was tempting, but it takes me a while to get myself off. That could mean I just get going when Alice arrived and have to stop...and worse, she could catch me in the act. And with her visions, she might actually see me doing it without even being there.

Oh hell no.

I blushed crimson at the idea of Alice catching me masturbate. Sure we were close but not THAT close! She wouldn't even give me sex advice, I doubt she'd take it well catching me rubbing one out.

Vampires were so old fashioned.

Grunting in frustration I decided to have a cold shower. I grabbed my towel and headed for the bathroom. I stood under the cold water cursing and sighing. Fuck my life.

After a few minutes I couldn't stand it anymore and shut the water off. Sighing dramatically I stepped out and stood in front of the full length mirror.

I was far from hot, but I thought I was ok. Skinny, which magazines tell us girls we are supposed to be...though I don't think I'm the good kind of skinny. I'm more boyish, zero curves and no boobs.

Some of the boys at school seem to think I'm cute, but clearly Edward doesn't. I guess I'm just not sexy enough for him.

I'm not that ugly though! I mean, ok, I am kind of plain with my dull brown hair and boring eyes. But I have a nice flat stomach, which I think is kind of sexy if I do say so myself.

Looking down further, and I was kind of glad Jessica and Angela dragged me to that beauty spa where I got the full bikini wax last week. I screamed like a motherfucker at the time, but I have to admit I enjoy the smooth feeling. I think I'll get it done again.

I stroke my hand over myself and sigh. With no hair and such straight hips it makes me look like a ten year old, but I do like the clean look of my brazilian. And god, I like touching it.

The only bad part of being completely bare down there, was that it put certain things on display that would normally be hidden. My poor neglected clitoris had swollen to several times its normal size, even after a cold shower I could still see it peeking out from between my lips like an angry red soldier.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. You know you're losing it when you talk to your clitoris.

Maybe I had time to just give it a little rub and ease some of the ache? Just a little rub? But no, Alice would arrive at any minute and as we already established - being caught tossing your own salad by your best friend = total humiliation.

Wrapping the towel around myself I went back to my room to get dressed. Alice is completely fashion obsessed and I am so not. I pulled my draw open and pushed aside all the little negligees and lingerie Alice had forcibly bought me in our many (painful) shopping trips and pulled out a plain white oversized tee. I knew she'd judge me for my boring choice, but I hated the ridiculously overpriced itty bitty garments she wanted me to wear. I'd tried wearing them for Edward and did nothing except humiliate myself in front of him. He didn't find it attractive at all and insisted I change into something "more appropriate."

My cheeks flamed from the memory as I tugged the tee over my head. I took out my most boring white knickers and reluctantly pulled them on, wincing as they grazed my still protruding and incredibly oversensitized clit. I immediately felt sticky and uncomfortable and wanted to rip the damn panties off and just fuck myself inside out. For hours.

This was gonna be a long night.

I was pretty much sulking on my bed when Alice appeared at the window. I waved her in and attempted to smile.

"Hey Bella!" she said in her usual cheerful voice, bouncing into my room. "What's up? You look kind of sad?"

"Hmm? Oh nah, I'm fine." I didn't see the point in telling her. It was embarrassing enough that I had my own little girl erection, which I wasn't even sure was normal. She didn't have to know I was a mess of hormones and falling apart. It wasn't like she would even understand. At least she hadn't said anything about my boring attire, that was something. She was of course wearing a cute little red ensemble of frilly knickers with some kind of camisole. I'm sure it was some frightfully expensive designer brand.

"Great!" she chirped. "For tonight's viewing pleasure, I have brought Black Swan! Have you seen it?"

"Uh, no, I heard it was kind of a mindfuck." Movies about ballerinas weren't high on my playlist.

"It is, but I love it so let's give it a try ok?" She smiled sweetly. I shrugged. There was no point arguing with Alice anyway. Once she made up her mind about something, it was her way or no way. Besides, nobody could stand up to those dimples.

Alice busied herself getting the DVD ready while I went downstairs to fix the popcorn. I stood at the microwave staring at the bag going round and round, trying to ignore the dull pain between my legs.

After the bag had puffed up and the popping stopped, I stood by the microwave staring into space. The whole thing sucked. It just sucked. I was all swollen and frustrated and there wasn't a goddamn thing I could do about it with Alice in the house.

Why couldn't I just be alone, for one night? I loved Alice, I adored her, but god I just wanted to be alone with my own hand for one night. Just one night.

"Bella? You ok?"

I snapped out of my reverie and found Alice standing in the doorway, a worried expression on her face.

"Oh...yeah. Just daydreaming!" I attempted a smile.

"Okay well bring the popcorn, the movie's ready!" she grinned back at me before dashing back to my room at vampire speed. I nodded, took the popcorn and put it in a bowl. I sighed again before slowly dragging my feet back to my room, silently giving myself a pep talk to at least try to enjoy the movie for Alice's sake. She didn't need to be dragged into my perverted problems.

I forced a smile on my face and walked in with the bowl. "Okay start the movie!" I said in my bubbliest voice.

"Yay!" said Alice and pressed play on the remote. She was already sitting on my bed with her legs crossed. I climbed in bedside her and she immediately snuggled into me. Alice is a snuggler. She says she likes how warm I am. She's pretty cold, but I don't mind. She's softer that Edward, and it's nice to cuddle with my bestie.

Alice took a piece of popcorn and placed it between her lips. Vampires can't eat, but Alice finds popcorn light enough she can stomach it. She enjoys licking the salt off, and once her venom has dissolved it enough she can swallow it. It's nice to not feel like I'm eating it alone, which I do when I'm with Edward.

The movie started out ok, a story of a dull ballerina trying to get a part in Swan Lake. I could see why Alice liked it. She's kind of a ballerina herself.

I was getting wrapped up in the movie, almost forgetting the discomfort between my legs until the director guy asked Natalie Portman to go home and touch herself. Instantly the fire returned and I found myself shifting uncomfortably in my already slightly damp panties. Alice just hugged me a little tighter, nuzzling her face in my neck as she always does.

Normally it wouldn't even bother me; it's cute when she does that. But in my current state it was only adding to my arousal, although I certainly didn't think of her that way. Just having someone touching me was getting me all stimulated against my will.

It got worse. Much worse. Poor Natalie Portman kept trying to masturbate but kept getting interrupted. Oh boy did I understand her pain. And they friggin SHOWED her doing herself!

It was too unbearable. I excused myself to the bathroom where I stood running my hands through my hair in aggravation, almost pulling it out. Why the HELL did Alice have to choose a movie featuring the ONE thing I wanted most in the world? I couldn't believe I actually had to watch Natalie Portman playing with herself when all I could think of was plunging my hand into my pants and rubbing myself into oblivion.

I yanked off my soaked panties in annoyance and kicked them away. They were too damn uncomfortable to keep on. My shirt was long enough I didn't need them anyway. Alice wouldn't know.

Losing the underwear did provide some measure of relief, since the cool breeze blowing up my shirt as I walked helped cool down the raging inferno in my hot wet pussy. It did nothing to ease the ache however, and I slowly made my way back to my bedroom feeling slippery between my thighs with each step. Hopefully there would be no more masturbation scenes in this movie or I would lose my mind.

Alice immediately nestled back into me when I got back in bed. I prayed she could not smell my arousal with her vampire senses. God, what she must think of me. Crazy human sex maniac.

Just when I thought the movie couldn't get any worse, Natalie Portman had sex with Mila Kunis.

Now, I knew what lesbians were obviously, but could honestly say I'd never considered sex with a woman in my LIFE. It had just never occurred to me to think of another girl that way, and just wasn't on my list of things to even think about, let alone TRY.

But wow, watching those two kiss and touch each other...my god. Now I understood why it was every man's fantasy. When Mila put her head between Natalie's legs and went down on her, I almost came right there. For all my sex fantasies, I'd never really thought about oral sex before. And I found myself thinking of how incredible that would feel to have it done to me. And then I thought about doing it to someone else...of doing it to a girl. The thought sent a jolt through my clit and made my pussy clench. I wriggled and twisted from the pain of it.

I was suddenly painfully aware of Alice's body pressed up against mine. And even though I'd always thought of her as a sister, I found myself thinking of her in a very unsisterly way. I found myself wondering about her vampire body...did everything work the same as a human? Do the same things feel good to her? Do vampire girls get wet...can they get wet? Did she have the same equipment as me? Does she even have a clitoris and does it get all swollen when she's excited like mine does?

Just the thought of Alice having a clitoris sent a flood of wetness into the sheet below me. This was insane. I looked down, and to my absolute horror I had subconsciously spread my legs wide so that one was resting on Alice's thigh. Worse still, my shifting had caused my shirt to ride up to my stomach leaving my naked pussy glistening in full view, the light from the TV flickering across my wet lips. My already ridiculously oversized clit was now so engorged it was standing up literally like a sore thumb. I had never seen it that size before.

In embarrassment I quickly tried to close my legs, but Alice was faster. Her hand shot out and held my leg in place over hers. I looked at her in shock, but she was staring intently at the screen, absorbed in the movie. Did she mean to do that?

I was mortified, soaking wet, spread wide open and didn't know whether I'd die first from humiliation or sexual frustration.

Her hand, which had started just above my knee, began to slowly move up. I turned to her again, not understanding what she was doing. She was still engrossed in the movie, her face showing no awareness of what was going on. Was she so into the movie she didn't realize what she was doing, just like I didn't when I opened my legs?

Her hand continued to slide up my leg, painfully slowly, inch by inch until her hand was at the top of my thigh. I almost stopped breathing when her finger began to stroke the part where my thighs met, not quite my pussy but just beside it.

Alice continued to watch the movie with a serene expression on her face. It was like she had no idea what her hand was doing.

I was in agony. I thought my clit hurt before. Now it was throbbing intensely. I wanted to burst out of my skin. This was cruel, the worst kind of torture I could endure, yet I didn't ask her to stop. In a sick way I was enjoying it, even though I knew at any minute she would come to her senses and we would both be so ashamed we'd never be able to speak again and our friendship would be over.

Not to mention her mindreading brother who would find out and most likely kill her.

Or her emotion sensing husband who had already tried to kill me once before.

These were all good reasons to tell her to stop, or at least get out of the damn bed. But I didn't move, reluctantly enjoying her fingers tracing tiny circles on my inner thigh.

Then her hand moved up, and she caressed the top of my pussy in her hand quite hard. She was still watching the movie but there was no way she didn't know what she was doing!

I gasped. Oh my it felt good. Then her hand slid down, and her finger slid between my lips. She knew what she was doing. She had to know what she was doing! I stared at her in complete shock as she began to play with me, just around my entrance. She didn't acknowledge me, or turn her face from the movie. Without even meaning to, my hips began to press themselves into her fingers, urging her on.

Taking that as a sign of encouragement she pressed a finger inside me lightly, not very deep. Perhaps she was waiting to see what I would do, I didn't know. Her expression gave me nothing as she gazed straight ahead. This time quite consciously, I pushed my hips further into her hand, taking her finger a little deeper, watching her face for any sign that she wanted this.

Her face revealed nothing, however she pushed her finger further into me and added a second. I gasped audibly and shifted against her.

Alice Cullen was inside me.

Oh god, her fingers penetrating me was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced. I'd never had anything inside me before. It felt good. So good. Her hand was cold, yes, but not in an unpleasant way. The coolness of her fingers was soothing the unbearable heat inside me.

She held her two fingers inside me for a moment, as if to just feel me, then began to withdraw them.

NO! my mind was screaming. No, no, please god no, don't let her stop. Don't let her stop!

She pulled her shining fingers from my body then looked down at them, rubbing her thumb and forefinger together in my juices and frowning slightly. She still did not look at me.

I wanted to scream. Sob. Break something. Why was she doing this to me? I sat there trembling in a pool of my own wetness, exposed and throbbing in the worst pain of my life. When did Alice become so fucking cruel?

She looked at her hand a few more moments, then oh merciful lord, she returned her hand back where it was, sliding her fingers right into my aching sex. I cried out from the pure satisfaction of having her filling me again. Those few moments had been excruciating.

Her fingers began to withdraw again. I dry sobbed with the frustration. But this time she pulled out then pushed straight back in. Then out again, and back in, deeper this time. I thought I would pass out from the sheer pleasure of it. I began to moan, right out loud. I wanted her to know I liked it. I wanted her to know I never wanted her to stop, no matter how wrong it was.

The louder I got the more I was silently glad my dad Charlie was on a fishing trip and would not hear this, because that would be some explanation.

I didn't know why Alice Cullen - my best friend, and boyfriend's sister - was fingering me, but there was not much rational thought left in my mind. The only thing that existed was Alice and her beautiful cool fingers deep within me, fucking me senseless.

I wanted to come. I hoped she would let me come. I felt like I would die if she didn't. When she extracted her fingers from my body again, I literally howled at the loss.

But then, oh god – I felt something cold brush against my poor tender clitoris, which had been begging for attention all day. She played with the tip lightly, not really touching it but just teasing it with her fingertips. I cried and tried to thrust myself into her hand. She still did not react, continuing to peacefully watch Black Swan.

I on the other hand was anything but peaceful. Writhing and bucking against her hand, trying desperately to get her to make contact with my clit. If there was any doubt in her mind that I wanted this, it had to be shattered by my shameless moaning and attempts to get her to just masturbate me already.

Then – oh sweet Jesus – her fingers finally pressed down on my clit. She began to rub it in circles, gently at first then steadily increasing the pressure. I pushed myself into her hand, losing total control of my hips as she gave me the most incredible pleasure I had ever had in my life. Touching myself was nothing compared to this. Nothing.

I gasped, panted, moaned – I needed release and I needed it now. Her fingers massaged my clitoris faster and faster as I struggled to breath. I was gushing wetness, sweating profusely, as I flailed around, searching for something to grip onto.

Then I felt it. Beginning deep inside me, the most intense pressure I'd ever felt before. Something was building within my core, and it was big. Alice increased her force on my clit, working it hard, pushing me closer and closer. I suddenly stopped breathing – then screamed. I screamed like I had never screamed in my life. An explosion of pleasure ripped through my body sending wave after wave right through me, beginning in my sex and rocketing through my entire body. Even my fingertips, my lips...even my hair felt like it was coming.

It seemed to last forever. When I made myself come I gave myself small shuddering orgasms that lasted maybe a few seconds. This climax went for several minutes, subsiding at times then increasing in intensity again until I screamed myself raw.

Finally, finally I came down from my high. I gasped for air, my chest heaving as I urgently tried to breath. Alice's fingers gradually slowed down. She continued to stroke me gently as I came back to earth. Then she took her hand back, picked up the remote and stopped the DVD. The movie had ended some time during my orgasm.

"Great movie huh?" She finally turned to me. I was lying there flushed, legs splayed wide open, shimmering in my own cum, still trying to breath – and she asks me about the movie?

"Uh huh," I nodded back at her in disbelief.

"You look tired," she said in a motherly tone. "Time for the human to go to sleep I think!" She shut the TV off, sending the room into darkness.

"Night Bella! Sleep well, see you in the morning."

I couldn't even respond.