Sorry it took so long for me to update, I hope you haven't given up on this story!

Disclaimer: I do not own BTR

"I have to talk to him..." Logan debated as he paced through the art room. "But I can't, but I have to! Ugh! Kendall is so sweet and amazing and I'm not giving him half of what he deserves; but I'll kill him if I break up with him but then again I'll just have to because did I really have a choice when my dad gave me it; oh! That leads to my second point! My dad sent in my Harvard application when they weren't even suppose to see that, I was ranting in it, it was one of those letters you write but never send and now I'm in and I'm even gonna be able to pay; GAH! What was he thinking?" The brunette paused and turned around. "Are you following this?"
Jo's jaw hung open and her head rested on one side. She gradually closed her mouth, soft brown eyes thoughtful. "I think...I think you just need to tell Kendall," Jo finally proposed. "As for your father; you need to talk to him too if you want to get any further with that."

Inwardly, Logan was relieved Jo didn't mention anything about his relations with his father. More importantly, his family's financial issues. "But what if after I speak with Kendall he's disappointed and will think I still hate him...a-and my mom divorced my mom my dad for a reason, I don't think I feel comfortable going into that alone."

"Then take Kendall with you..." Jo bit her bottom lip. "If he...uh you know, is cool with you after talking to him about...I'll just shut up now."

"No..." sighed Logan, "Thanks. Really."
Jo nodded and glanced around as if to find an escape. "Why did you ask me for help? I mean, after what I did if I were you I'd want nothing to do with Jo Taylor," Jo said.

"I just needed someone to talk to who would...have a different opinion," Logan explained lamely. "Scratch that; I already knew you would tell me the same thing anyone else would it's just...I kinda want to forgive you. I want to try to be able to forgive you at least."

"Thank you..." She said softly. "I'm sorry I couldn't think of a better idea to give you."

"S'okay," Logan muttered. There was more he wanted to say, but it was...well, it was one of those things where you desperately wanted to say something about it but couldn't because you knew it would end with people hating you.

"Is your leg or whatever healing well?" Jo inquired.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah," Logan sighed.

Jo nodded to confirm. She looked around the art room, taking in the paintings hung on the walls. "Are any of these yours?" Jo asked.

"Hmm? Uh..." Logan strode over to the door and pointed to the painting above. It was of a scenic outlook of a frozen lake in Minnesota. The colors were a blend of varying shades of blues and grays. "Did that in freshmen year."

"Don't you want it back?"

"Nah. Well maybe before I graduate I'll want it," the brunette. "Ms. Donnelly said it was 'the best piece she'd ever seen so far'..."

"It looks like a photograph," Jo gasped. "Wow. First you surprised everyone with your singing, now this!"

"Thanks," Logan said. The brunette didn't move. He knew the positive feedback of his painting but he couldn't find any depth in it now. In this type of media, depth was everything. No depth and you're guaranteed failure. That's what Ms. Donnelly had told them. She also told them, that true strength in artwork came from someone with imagination. It didn't matter if you planed on being the next Picasso or not, that was what you needed.

Logan knew his imagination was a puddle of melted Popsicle. Even as a child, it wasn't much. Even before the Kendall incident, all day long his face was shoved into a book; his mind locked on to studying all night. Kendall, James, and Carlos were the only ones who could really ever pull him into 'having fun like a normal kid.' Logan wouldn't deny he loved being with his friends. One day, they had planned on dragging him on a plane to Bali to go 'soul searching'. And right now, Logan needed something like that.

"What are you thinking about?" Jo mused, walking over to Logan so that she was at his side.

"How I need to find myself," Logan replied.

"Logan...we're teenagers; heck, a bunch of us are eighteen. Adults. This is where our lives begin. Right here. It all started the moment we walked through the doors of Minnesota High four years ago." Jo glanced once over at Logan, then back up to the painting. "As teenagers, we have to deal with a hell of a lot of drama. As teenagers we are going to have highs, and lows. But, we learn. We learn and apply that to our life when our parents and friends can't always be there to support us." The blonde haired girl ran her fingers through the light strands. "To think though; popularity will mean nothing in life. Nothing. And we're so obsessed with popularity these days...everything will melt away and you'll be left to fend on your own, and because you spent all your time climbing to the top...you've learned nothing and you'll be lost."

Logan had remained quiet, taking in what Jo was telling him. The brunette let out a long breath. "And...that person. Who wanted popularity...was it you?"

"It is me," Jo admitted. "I was lost, maybe still lost. Just a little. It took Jett's little stunt to break through to me. It took you to break through to me." There was a tear that had escaped, sliding down her cheek.

Again, Logan was muted. They watched his painting as if it were to begin to move. Logan sighed again and faced Jo. "Is it just me, or do you feel like we're in one of those teen angst shows?" In response, Jo smiled. Logan reached out and rested his hand on Jo's right shoulder, gently turning her. "You're wise, Jo. More so, than I'd ever want to admit. More than you'd want to think, hmm?" Logan didn't wait for an answer. "But you're wrong. You didn't need Jett, or me to know that there is more to you than a girl seeking popularity. Jo. Let me just say, you never came off to me as the type of girl who needed popularity to know she was amazing."

Jo swallowed, another tear falling. "You...think I'm...amazing?"

"Yeah. Jo, don't take any of offense to this; but you can be really stupid sometimes."

She laughed softly, "Thanks, Logan."

A week had passed-and Logan still refrained from talking to his dad of Kendall. But, for all Jo knew; Logan had. And he didn't feel like disappointing her. Yet...

Another thing Logan refrained from telling Kendall specifically, was that he got into Harvard in the first place. Looking back now, Logan was a first-class liar. No one would have guessed it. Well, Kendall knew most of his secrets now. But, if you were to be an everyday passerby, you'd assume Logan was a genuine, sensitive guy who had nothing to hide. You'd be wrong. Very wrong.

"Logan, you wanna head down to the playground?" Kendall asked, closing his locker door.

"Uh. Sure," Logan agreed, pulling his Latin book out and placing it in his backpack. He zipped the pack and closed his own locker. "Let's go," the shorter boy exclaimed. Kendall smiled softly and took Logan's hand, squeezing it gently; they walked down the halls to the front doors. Next to them, Jo talked with a girl the two boys' didn't recognize. Logan released Kendall's hand and herded him towards them.

"Hey, Jo," Kendall greeted gruffly. "Who's this?"
"Hi guys. This is Lucy Stone," Jo introduced. "She just moved here and I'm going to give her a tour of the school."

Lucy's straight dark hair streaked with scarlet highlights fell in front of her eyes and she brushed the strands behind her ears to reveal lucid brown eyes. "Hey..." She said.

"Hi," Logan welcomed, "I'm Logan and this is Kendall."

Kendall added, "Hope you like Minnesota; where'd you move from?"

"Los Angeles," Lucy answered.

Logan suddenly stiffened. He swallowed, finding it hard to breathe. Los Angeles. Where his father wanted him to move. "How is there?"

"Warmer. Definitely. I'm glad I'm getting out of the Hollywood craziness though," Lucy admitted.

"I see," Kendall said astutely, "It was nice meeting you."

"I'll see you two around," Lucy said. She and Jo headed off, Jo waving to them over her shoulder as they left.

Kendall, who had noted Logan's reaction towards Lucy's hometown, gave his boyfriend an odd look. "Do you not like California?" The blonde inquired mildly.

"Oh, no. I heard it's a...a great place. I mean, celebrities love it there," Logan reasoned.

Kendall shrugged doubtfully but didn't say anything more. The two reached the playground and climbed to there normal spot at the top of the slide. Logan rested his head against Kendall's chest, one of the taller boy's arms around the brunette's body; the other, resting casually on Logan's hip. Kendall asked, "How was your day, Logan?"

Logan blinked and glanced up at Kendall. "What?"

"How was your day?"

He nodded slowly. "How was my day?"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Yes. Are you doing that on purpose?"

Logan frowned. He wasn't sure if keeping this up would annoy Kendall, or if he'd find it cute. Logan sighed, "Great. My day was great."

"Pissy are you?" The blonde mused. Logan grunted and leaned forward, locking lips. Kendall's arms braced tighter around the brunette and he pulled him closer. The blonde leaned his forehead against Logan's and said in a soothing voice, "But seriously; how are you?"

"The way I usually am."

"So you're good, right?"

"Oh...what do you think?" Logan mumbled. The brunette pushed his lips to Kendall's again, allowing it to last until they could hardly breathe. Logan kissed the corner of his boyfriend's mouth before looking back into those intense green eyes. "I'm a high school senior," Logan whispered with a shrug.

Kendall glanced around. "Huh? Um, am I supposed to know what that means?"

"You are one too, so...basically." Logan scooted back so his back was pressed to the structure of the top of the slide. "Alright. What is it for you to be a teenager going on adult?"

Kendall breathed in, held it, and then let it out. "Honestly? Terrifying. But also electrifying...thrilling in a sense. You know what I mean?"

"Guess so," Logan sighed.

"Why did you go all Breakfast Club on me?" Kendall inquired teasingly.

Logan snickered. "I don't know. Life. It's been...wow."

"Tell me about it."

The two boys didn't talk anymore. Instead, Kendall leaned forward once more and they continued to kiss. After a few minutes had passed, the pair headed home.

"Where have you two been?" Ms. Knight asked as they walked in the door.

"The old playground making out," Katie answered for them.

Kendall gasped, "No!" His mom and sister gave him 'the look' and he sighed, "Okay, yeah."
"Called it," Katie stated.

"I'm sure you two have homework, so get to it," Ms. Knight ordered.

Logan nodded. "On it; c'mon, Kendall." Before Ms. Knight could protest, the two boys hurried upstairs together. Kendall closed the door behind them and Logan plopped himself down on Kendall's bed as he pulled out his textbooks. He opened his agenda.

"Alright; we have an essay on the Three-Fifths Compromise...uh...we've to come up with ten motifs...write five paragraphs on Anne Frank...study for the test on logarithms…there's that chemicals quiz..."

"Ugh..."

Logan snorted, "What?"

"That's all due tomorrow?" Kendall whined.

"The logarithm test is next Friday and the Anne Frank paragraphs are due Monday. Everything else is for tomorrow," Logan explained.

Kendall groaned, "Seriously?"

"Seriously; now unless you want to fail..."

"Okay-but I think we have way too much homework."

"Could be worse."

"True."

Kendall and Logan worked in silence for an hour or so until Ms. Knight called them down for dinner.

Logan set his pencil aside and flexed his fingers, grimacing at the calluses that were starting to form. "God...how much did you get done?"

"Not even half way through the Three-Fifths Compromise...and...Got two motifs done," Kendall sighed.

"Ah...Are your hands killing you too?"

"Uh-huh."

"Kendall! Logan!" Called Ms. Knight.

"Coming, mom!" Kendall called back. "We're gonna be up all night, aren't we?" He said to Logan as they headed downstairs.

"Maybe. We'd have more time if we weren't kissing for so long," Logan pointed out."

"You weren't complaining."
Logan pulled on a tight smile. "Well, I am now."

Kendall frowned at his boyfriend's words but didn't counter them. Honestly, he wasn't sure what to really feel about Logan's on and off snide behavior. Kendall would still always love Logan but the behavior was getting irritating.

Kendall and Logan ended up both going to sleep sometime around midnight or one. Logan was well asleep when...

Help!

I need somebody

Help!

Logan practically jumped out of bed and Kendall yelped, startled, he fell to the floor with a loud 'THUMP!' Logan swallowed and reached over to the bedside table and answered his phone.

"What? Who is this? Why are you calling at this hour?" Logan hissed.

"It's me, Jo."

"Jo?" Logan mused.

"Jo?" Kendall repeated, hauling himself back onto the bed. "What does Jo want?"

Logan shushed him before asking the blonde girl, "Why are you calling?"

"Well. I was lying in bed awake, when I started thinking..."

Logan yawned, "Yeah?"

"You didn't Kendall yet...did you?"

"Busted, huh? And you called me to tell me that?" The brunette inquired.

"Yes. And no." Her voice started sounding increasingly excited. "Tonight...guess what?"

"What, Jo?"
"My found out that my dad can visit!"

Logan remembered Jo telling him and the others once that her dad was marine. He also recalled how she loved her father and hated that she couldn't see him. Logan was happy for Jo but couldn't ignore the sting. He couldn't deny the jealously he felt for the relationship between Jo and her father while he was stuck with his miserable excuse of a dad.

"That's awesome," Logan exclaimed, trying his best to be genuinely glad.

Kendall, who was watching Logan carefully, questioned, "What's awesome"

Logan shushed Kendall again. "So, why'd you tell me first?" He asked Jo. "I would've guessed you'd call Camille."

"Camille's been texting Carlos all night," Jo said.

"Hmm. Nice."

"I know right? They are adorable together," she sighed. "So are you and Kendall."

"Thanks," Logan said, "And congratulations on your dad visiting."

Kendall blinked and sat up slightly. "Jo's dad is visiting?"

Logan rolled his eyes and nodded and to Jo, added, "Hey, Jo; do you wanna talk to Kendall, I mean he's been very interested in this conversation."

"Oh, I don't think that'd be a good idea if we talked," Jo replied quickly.

"Shouldn't you try being better friends with him again?"

"Yeah, but...not now."

"Okay; goodnight Jo."

"Night, Logan."

The brunette hung up, turned his phone off and set it back down on the side table again. "Jo's dad is visiting?" Kendall repeated.

"Yeah, Kendall; he is," Logan huffed.

"She...didn't want to talk to me?"

"She didn't want to talk to you because she was sure it'd be a bad idea...considering, I think, that you wouldn't want to talk to her."

Kendall slipped further under the sheets. "Okay then."

"You're not still mad?" Logan inquired, following the blonde's actions.

"Not as much," Kendall admitted. "You?"

"Obviously not," grunted Logan.

"Right..." Kendall mumbled. He pecked the shorter boy's nose before rolling onto his side so his back was to Logan.

Logan, feeling as if he needed to say something to Kendall, hesitated to reach out his hand and turn him around. To speak with him more...To do what he told Jo he would. But something inside of Logan that made him feel empty kept him from speaking. The brunette swallowed the words that were beginning to float up; and leaned forward, planting a kiss to the back of Kendall's neck before he too flipped to his other side.

"Logie..." Kendall sighed.

"Yes, Kendall?" Logan asked in half-hearted aggravation. Then he was wrapped in Kendall's arms, instantly warmed by the embrace. "Can I help you?" Logan grumbled.

"Yes. Actually. Go to sleep."

"I was about to," Logan lied.

"Sure you were," Kendall murmured, nuzzling his face into the crook of Logan's neck. "Goodnight, Lo."

"Mmm..." Logan said, falling slowly into sleep. He frowned when there was a sudden wetness to his skin. Was Kendall crying or something? Logan released one last sigh. He turned again and pressed his lips to Kendall's, filling the kiss with as much passion as he could.

When they pulled away, the moonlight illuminating through the window shone off of tears that slipped down the taller's cheeks. Kendall asked breathlessly, "What was that?"

"Ur, nothing..." Logan muttered, reaching up to dry Kendall's face.

"Nothing? You sure about that?"
"One hundred percent. Why were you crying?"

Kendall bit his bottom lip. "I'm just happy for Jo."

Logan mocked, "You sure about that?"

"No..." Kendall confessed. "I just...I just want..."

"Yes?"

"I just want you to love me."

Logan's heart practically stopped. His bottom lip trembled ever so slightly. And he turned his back to Kendall for the last time.

"Have you seen Kendall?" Logan inquired to Camille as the school day ended. All day long Kendall had been avoiding any eye contact with Logan. They didn't talk much and now Logan couldn't find his boyfriend to walk home with.

Seriously, aren't I supposed to be the one getting him to break up with me? Thought Logan, No, that's selfish; you care for Kendall and should find him.

"Of course, and you haven't? I don't know, aren't you two dating, hmm?" Camille said teasingly as the two went outside. Carlos with his back to the flagpole and when he saw his friend and girlfriend, he waved his hand rapidly back and forth. "Check the auditorium. You should know by now to check there," she giggled. Camille sprinted over to Carlos and waved once more to Logan before she and her boyfriend walked away together.

Logan followed Camille's advice and went to the location where they preformed the musical that was the beginning of their friendship rebirth. Logan caught sight of Kendall sitting on the edge of the stage and the brunette could very faintly hear him singing.

"Strange maze, what is this place? I hear voices over my shoulder; nothing's makin' sense at all…wonder, why do we race? When everyday we're runnin' in circles; such a funny way to fall...Tried to open up my eyes, I'm hopin' for a chance to make it all right...when I wake up, the dream isn't done; I wanna see your face and know I've made it home...If nothing is true, what more can I do? I am still painting flowers for you..."

Logan's breath was shakey as he noted the mix of pain and passion in Kendall's voice. He sat in the farthest seat as Kendall continued, "Holdin' my clutch, even my heart; wish we could start all over; nothing's making sense at all... Tried to open up my eyes, I'm hopin' for a chance to make it all right...when I wake up, the dream isn't done; I wanna see your face and know I've made it home...If nothing is true, what more can I do? I am still painting flowers for you...I heard everything you said, I don't wanna lose my head... I wanna see your face and know I've made it home... If nothing is true, what more can I do? I am still painting flowers for you; I am still painting flowers for you..."

It was 'their' song. Ugh, he's giving me guilt, Logan thought egoistically, and then replaced the reflection with a, oh but he's so disappointed after trying so hard to... "Kendall!" Logan exclaimed, getting up and hurrying down to his boyfriend.

"Hey..." Kendall grumbled.

"It's Friday and you're sitting here in school?" Logan said quietly. "Are you feeling okay?"

Kendall shrugged. "No, I just needed to take a moment to exhale a bit."
"By singing?"

"Yes, Logie; by singing."

"Nice call. Very high school musical esc," Logan taunted.

"Don't pretend like you don't love it," Kendall mocked back.

Logan smiled sadly, recalling the ton of Kendall's voice earlier. "So do you wanna go see a movie or something?"

Kendall sighed and shook his head. "We have to go check up on Skyscraper Jr. don't we?"

"Kay..." Logan agreed. He fell back slightly when Kendall retrieved his backpack. In his brain what he originally wished to achieve grew closer and Logan knew he should've been pleased with that; his heart however was furious at what he was doing to Kendall. Literally, he was one step away from being another Jade West and who wanted that?

Have u guys seen the interview where Kendall drew that ocean abstract? It was VERY Kogan-shippy and if you haven't seen it, I'll direct you to it =)

Also-chapter title credits to the book/movie: Extremly Loud, Incredibly Close; I heard it was amazing and I want to see it some time