Disclaimer: What? Really? Does anyone here think I own Code Geass? Anyone? Is anyone that stupid? And, you know, for clarification, the obviously labeled quotes aren't mine. Nor are the obviously labeled songs.

Note: Hark? Doth I hear people complaining about my use of subbing for parts of these stories? /plugs ears/ Ah, it seems I doth not.

"Only the forgotten are truly dead."

-Tess Gerritsen

Only the Forgotten

Chapter Fifteen

Determination

"Guilt is anger directed at ourselves - at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others - at what they did or did not do."

~ Peter McWilliams

The Black Knights had fallen. And it seemed she was the only one who knew it.

Or perhaps not. Kaguya looked to the entrance to the Knights' headquarters, where Japan's Foreign Minister stood, speaking softly with Lady Nunnally. Ohgi had aged gracefully over the last year, and no longer looked as unsure of himself. Yet there were new frown lines around his lips and eyes as he, too, looked over the Knights. Undoubtedly he'd heard enough by now to recognize what had happened. Despite everything that the Knights had seen and witnessed, everything they knew, the machinations of the previous Zero; despite all of it, these men and women had somehow fallen for it again. Little over a year later, and everything they'd been through had been reduced to this.

Yet somehow it was worse this time. Because Kaguya knew the truth, and stood alone against the madness? Or was it because Toudou and Kallen had been the first to fall in line, before even the show at the hospital? With their allegiances solidly on Zero's side, everyone else had quickly turned, as well. Or perhaps the worst of it was how badly she wanted to be like the rest of them, happily talking and readying gear, preparing for the moment Zero contacted them to move out. He'd gone ahead to finish something, and neither Toudou nor Chiba had returned after Chiba had raced in to get Toudou. Everyone was talking about how Toudou was working together with Zero. How Zero was going to handle the threat from the immortal woman Lelouch had failed to eliminate. They were all nearly giddy with it. And at the head of them all, of course, was Shinichiro, the most likely leak of the information on Geass and immortality, telling everyone who would listen – and those who wouldn't – about the old days fighting with Zero. The man seemed to have forgotten just who the first Zero had been.

Was she now the only one who remembered?

Ohgi frowned down at Nunnally, who stared up at him with a soft smile. Kallen returned to her side, as if to be away from her was somehow painful. As if the two were glued like magnets to one another. Nunnally looked up at Kallen and outright beamed. Ohgi made his escape.

He came to her, of course, and Kaguya lifted her head as he neared. "Well?" she asked, though she doubted he knew anything more than she did. She doubted Lady Nunnally even knew. She may have been her brother's sister, but she had been his enemy. He'd held her as a trophy at the end. Like an animal. He'd been sick. She'd been a fool to love someone like him.

"No," Ohgi said, bringing her out of herself with a short shake of his head. "She didn't seem to know anything. But it's clear where her loyalties lie."

With Zero. Of course. She and Zero had been nearly inseparable the last year. Something Kaguya hadn't fully understood. Perhaps because he freed her? Because he'd killed the evil that had been her brother? But how could she trust the symbol, after who had carried it last?

Kaguya took a deep breath. She'd learned her lessons about symbols. About how no man could ever be the embodiment of anything other than his own desires. So what did the man wearing the outfit now desire? Peace? Justice? Power? "We need to find out what's actually going on," she said, more to herself than Ohgi. Nevertheless, the minister nodded his head. His lips pulled down even lower. Well, they had nowhere to go for now. She'd sent a few men after Chiba and Toudou. She would just have to wait to hear from them before she could move forward. She cleared her throat. "How is your wife?"

Finally, those frown lines eased somewhat. "She's good." A small smile actually peeked out. "Little Mayu's growing like crazy. Vi refuses to leave her side." Not that she ever would; while she'd been a striking military woman, Vi had been thrilled at the idea of a peaceful enough world in which she could settle down. And Ohgi wouldn't want her here, especially now; he was placing himself in jeopardy every day as it was, acting as Japan's political leader, let alone now that there was a very real threat in the area. Mayu couldn't be left parentless.

"That's good. I haven't seen her in a while. A few months, actually. She'd probably twice the size she'd been then. I better see her before she'd all grown up." Of course, they both knew she couldn't leave so long as this immortal threat persisted. Kaguya looked around again, her lips thinning horribly at the sight. How long before they ran off to the UFN? To Zero? And if they did? Would the tide shift? Would the balance be lost? Would war begin all over again? While to others, the symbol of Zero remained equality and peace, to her the look had been stained. There was a reason the outfit was dark purples and black. Shadow. Darkness. Zero represented only greed and hunger to her now.

How long? she wondered, near despair. How long before that hunger once more devoured the world?

Lelouch scooted quickly away from Toudou's grasp, though of course it was already much too late. The man had seen. And from the look on his face, he was displeased with things as they stood now. Lelouch frowned, even as he struggled to his feet. Toudou did not look angry, or even betrayed. He looked almost upset.

Wonderful. So the man had figured it out on his own. It should have been unsurprising, but after the man had turned his back on him – on Zero – he'd believed the man less capable than this. He'd failed to read Lelouch's intentions. Or, perhaps, he'd simply chosen, like Suzaku, that Lelouch was too evil to allow to exist in this world.

Lelouch took a deep breath and thought. Of course, if that were the case, then why had Toudou chosen to stand by Suzaku as he took Lelouch's place as Zero? Why bother with such a thing? And why assist him? And why kneel beside Lelouch, trapped exactly where he'd been when Lelouch had finally gotten himself under control and hidden himself from the world again? Not in time, perhaps; always, he was skirting the edge of too little, too late. Yet still Toudou knelt as if freshly whipped...

Ah. And the knowledge spread through him, slow and warm like honey. He hadn't expected anything like this. "Warehouse," he hissed, just loud enough for Toudou to hear. Lelouch could still see a few stragglers, hanging out at the last dock before the water's edge turned into a slight cliff, raising the road from the shore. Though there were no bodies – save Suzaku, still panting heavily mere meters from him – the place felt like a battlefield. Something crackled in the air. Lelouch knew he couldn't get any closer to Suzaku. Not without starting that hell all over again.

"Take Zero," he murmured, though, as Toudou stood, Lelouch was certain the man knew exactly who Zero was. Not that it mattered. The world needed to believe Zero was merely Zero. He could have no identity. It was a cruel demand from someone who had once called himself a friend.

Toudou moved swiftly, at least. Though his gaze never lightened, never escaped from whatever shadows the man had placed himself within, still he rose and moved to Zero's side. With one firm hand on his shoulder, he called Suzaku back from that hellish void and led him to the warehouse. Just before they reached out to get the door themselves, it slid open, no visible hand or body to tell who turned the handle. So C.C. was hiding out in there, most likely. Would there be a problem if she was – and there it was. She, too, ran out, her eyes wide. Her arms shook. Lelouch still didn't move, and she came to him, instead.

"How bad?" he asked, his voice terse.

"Bad," she said, turning to look behind her. "Schneizel's still in there with her, and I think it – the unconsciousness – Wisdom – has finally left again. She's unconscious. This time for sure."

"For now." Lelouch glared over to the damn door of the warehouse. What were Toudou and Suzaku making of all this? Was Suzaku ready to kill him? He snorted; well, more ready to kill him. And Toudou. Lelouch wasn't certain if the man was loyal to Suzaku or to Lelouch, or if he was merely attempting some sort of obligatory retribution, as if making some sort of tally against his previous crimes. If so, the man couldn't be considered anything but a liability. He thinned his lips. "And Zero? The crowd?"

The witch shifted slightly. Wonderful. He sighed. "I don't think they saw anything," she said, trying to be helpful, he was sure.

"Your optimism worries me more," he said.

She stuck out her tongue.

Well, if people had seen anything, the one good thing in his favor was their willingness to be led. Suzaku could easily rectify the situation by saying he'd been fighting the immortal. People still didn't know much about them. Even Lelouch didn't, and he was now among their ranks. Ranks that consisted of himself, C.C., and D.D. And soon to be even fewer. "We must get her out of here before anyone sees anything else. Suzaku being here is enough. They'll have seen it all; a good spin will turn it into a battle. So long as D.D. isn't seen again, nothing more will come of it."

Of course, that was taking the factor of Suzaku's lack of involvement for the rest of this nightmare. The chances of that while he was conscious were absolutely zero. And unfortunately, while Suzaku and Lelouch had to be apart, Lelouch couldn't go into the warehouse and finalize the last of his plans for the immortal. And of course, there was Xingke.

Lelouch already had the man taken care of for the next hour or so, but after that, he needed to be made available. He'd hoped to have D.D. on-board the boat by now. He could have carted her off without a problem, and Xingke would have happily held off until Lelouch came back, thanks to the diversions he had planned. Jeremiah would take care of the worst of it, of course. But after that, Lelouch needed to be done with the immortal woman before too long. A quick trip had been paramount. And now? Now that a quick trip was impossible?

Suzaku would never let Lelouch simply walk away. Toudou wouldn't, either. The time it would take to get rid of them would make it impossible for Lelouch to return in time. Making them acquiesce only had about a forty percent shot. Well, Toudou might be about forty-five percent, but Suzaku... normally, Lelouch would have been willing to bet a thirty-five to forty percent chance. But after the hospital, and then again here at the docks, the number was more like twenty. If he was lucky. Suzaku wanted him dead again. That would be the deciding factor. If he could get Suzaku to believe he also had a plan to ensure that – though Lelouch had planned to stay alive for generations, keeping vigil on the weak, greedy hearts of humankind. To Suzaku, any answer other than a desire for death would be answered with violence, as Suzaku attempted to rectify another of Lelouch's supposed 'mistakes.'

So twenty percent, if he could get Suzaku to believe him. And if he couldn't? He would have to find another way to take care of the problem.

Of course, how was he supposed to speak with Suzaku without being able to get close to him? The gap seemed to be widening with every occurrence, as if their proximity tore the hole between what was and what should be even wider. He sighed. "We'll have to put off getting rid of D.D. Schneizel will watch over her as much as possible, but the unconsciousness will take over her body at least once more before we're able to solve this problem."'

Which meant he also needed to think of some way to stop 'Wisdom' from getting what she wanted again. Her motivations were transparent now, but he still wasn't quite certain just what it was capable of causing. If it could pull him into Eternity, then it most likely held some sort of power over Eternity itself. Yes, it most certainly did. It kept attempting to alter the world. It kept trying to alter him, or perhaps Suzaku. "How close can you get to Zero without setting off the gap?"

She frowned. "I was pulled in when he came toward the warehouse. Though I was better off than you," she said with a smirk. As if hearing him scream had been entertaining. Witch. "A meter or two, most of the time. It fluctuates a bit."

Because she was only slightly linked to Suzaku, while he and Suzaku were apparently two halves of a torn whole. Their gap would only continue to widen.

"Get as close as you can and give them your phone," he said, making C.C. scowl. The witch was uncannily like a common woman with some things. Lelouch rolled his eyes. "You can retrieve it later. I need a means of communication with them. And tell Toudou to help Chiba clear the area. We'll need space to speak without danger."

C.C. huffed as if he'd done her some great disservice before walking back to the warehouse. He could tell exactly when she reached the limit of her own break in Eternity; she stopped exactly one foot away from the door and called softly for Toudou. The man opened the door immediately.

Lelouch caught a glimpse of Suzaku before the door closed again. Lelouch was certain Suzaku had seen him, too.

He was far enough away that C.C.'s quiet murmurs to Toudou didn't travel to his ears. But she finally materialized and held out her phone, her lips twitching in distaste at the idea of losing her new cell. Toudou's gaze slid for a second toward where he'd last seen Lelouch, and then the man took the thing from her. C.C. faded back into invisibility. Within a moment, Lelouch had his own in his hand. He hit number one.

Toudou almost literally jumped as the phone in his hand rang. C.C. chuckled.

Lelouch thought the man's hand actually trembled as he brought the phone to his ear. "Yes?"

"Stop looking around. You'll draw attention." Immediately Toudou stared straight ahead, resting his gaze on something over C.C.'s shoulder. "Tell Suzaku to stay inside. We'll discuss things once the place is cleared out. And try to tell him in a way that leaves him only slightly enraged."

He thought he saw Toudou's lips twitch before the man opened the warehouse again and stuck his head inside, hiding the phone to his side as he did. If Suzaku knew Toudou was giving him the order at Lelouch's behest, the fool would come out just to spite him.

Finally Toudou closed the door once more and joined Chiba, and Lelouch took the few moments to consider his plan. Taking care of Xingke meant leaving D.D. behind for now. It would destroy everything. The unconsciousness had only exhausted herself; she would be back as soon as she was able. He'd hoped to have D.D.'s body back in the World of C by then, so he could fight equally, without having to hide his identity. As it was, he was forced to allow her one more try. He would have to do much better this time; he'd underestimated her abilities, to the point where it had almost cost Suzaku more than the poor moron had already lost. And him, as well. The repercussions could be severe.

He would need to get in contact with Jeremiah. He strummed his fingers against his thigh for a minute before taking out his phone again and hitting two.

Jeremiah picked up on the first ring. "We see him, Your Highness. He's going into the UFN."

"I know," Lelouch said, watching as Toudou went to Chiba, spoke for a short moment, and separated. She took the left, and he the right. The few stragglers, seeing a united force, beat a hastier retreat than before. "Leave him alone inside. Don't follow. After he leaves, give chase, but don't engage. He'll need a few hours. Give him three, exactly. Then contact me."

"Will do."

"And Orange?"

"Yes, Your Highness?"

Lelouch smirked. "I am not royalty anymore."

A short second. "Yes, Your Highness."

Well. He supposed loyalty was a good thing. And something in horribly short supply for him. "When you contact me, make your presence known. Give me enough time to arrive at the headquarters."

"He'll be returning to the Black Knights, then?"

"He'll have to. It's safer there than anywhere else, even with their renewed allegiance with Zero. And he'll want to stick close to Empress Tianzi."

"I see."

Lelouch hung up before Orange could announce his old title again. The wind blew cold against his skin, bringing the sharp, salty tang of the sea with it. Lelouch huddled slightly into himself, since no one but C.C. could see, anyway. And he was tired. Bone weary, as if he'd literally been dragged into that horrible abyss. But he didn't have time to sit and lick his wounds like a beaten dog. Toudou was making short work on the crowd on his end, and Chiba had nearly emptied the place. It would be safe to bring Suzaku back out, but Lelouch would prefer to have Toudou nearby when he did. Even though the man would certainly stand by Zero – where he belonged – Lelouch would like the man's restraining hand on Suzaku's trigger-happy arm. And so he waited another few moments, until Toudou began walking back, the place safely empty of all but a few dock workers a couple hundred meters away. If they saw anything, it would be nothing more than Zero and one of his men standing before the docks, perhaps planning something, perhaps merely looking at the ocean. They would not hear Lelouch speak. They would not know.

Toudou hesitated outside the warehouse. Its walls had turned even grayer as evening approached, as if the sky was sucking all of the color from the land. He knocked on the door, called through it. Though he tried to be quiet, Lelouch caught the man's words. "Zero. It's safe to leave now."

Of course. All Toudou had needed to do to gain Suzaku's cooperation was threaten the safety of the secret. Suzaku wasn't foolish enough to not understand the importance of Zero Requiem.

Suzaku – Zero – exited the warehouse with false aplomb. While others may see his stance as strong, Lelouch saw its rigidity. Even when Suzaku was ready for battle, there was still a subtle grace to his movements. While Lelouch lived within his mind, Suzaku lived within his body. Every muscle, every nuance of motion, was cataloged and measured, all without a single thought. Yet now Suzaku seemed to be struggling to maintain the idea of confidence and power, of readiness and the placid calm of a leader. He'd never truly had any of those things; Lelouch had counted on Suzaku's obvious lack of leadership skills. He'd counted on Suzaku eventually relaxing enough to no longer hold himself in a false position. And when Suzaku relaxed, one would see him for what he truly was: strong, but unsure; unprepared, but eager to give. Suzaku may be a follower, but he stood tall when he believed there was something worth fighting for.

That relaxed stance was long gone. Lelouch didn't even know if he'd relaxed enough to achieve it before this mess had occurred. He thought it probably had, however. With Nunnally by his side, Suzaku would have been instantly protective. That, mixed with her calming presence, would have brought him back from the edge he'd been walking since Euphemia's death. Since Lelouch had killed her.

But now he was hardened steel, just as he'd been... just as he'd been. He stood stalwart, Zero's cape billowing in the wind as it surged, the water breaking loudly behind them. Lelouch watched, knowing Suzaku could see him. What did Suzaku see? Not his best friend. Not anything. Nothing at all. Worse – something that should be nothing, but persisted on continuing itself, anyway. He held up a hand before Suzaku could take more than a single step outside the warehouse. He held up his phone.

Softly, Toudou cleared his throat and held out C.C.'s phone. Suzaku stared at it. He did not pick it up.

Lelouch rolled his eyes. With an impatient jerk of his thumb, he pressed one. The phone in Toudou's hand rang, and both men jumped. C.C. burst out laughing, hiding as she was further along the edge of the warehouse. Somewhere behind them all, a boat blasted its horn.

Though Lelouch couldn't see Suzaku's face, he could picture the exact look the man made as he picked up the phone.

Kallen looked once more toward the front rooms of the headquarters. He'd stood there beside Kaguya just a bit ago. What did she think of Kallen's supposed defection? Did she think she'd turned to the dark side? Been geassed? Lost her mind?

Nunnally sat in the private room the Knights had given to her, seemingly deep in thought, herself. Kallen thought the two of them were on the same page now, to a point. They both wanted Lelouch's legacy to live on. They both wanted to help her brother, even though their help had come too late for him. Possibly because their help was too late. They owed it to themselves. To him. To the world, perhaps, for having chosen the wrong side.

It made Kallen want to break. She vibrated with the need to move, to do. Toudou even now was out there somewhere, chasing some lead, doing something. And whatever it had been, it had been something too important to waste time grabbing Kallen.

Or, she thought, slowing down for only a short instant, maybe he'd left her behind in order to protect Nunnally. But was that enough? Was it really enough to simply sit in the back, on the sidelines, playing bodyguard to Lelouch's sister?

Just then, Nunnally looked up, almost as if she'd heard Kallen's thoughts. "Kallen."

Kallen jerked guiltily and looked to Nunnally. The girl's hair had grown out another couple of inches, making her look even more fay. Funny she could only see it then – no. Never mind. She understood why she saw it, as Nunnally looked up at her with sharp eyes, eyes holding the same intensity as her brother's if not the color.

"I left my brother behind once," Nunnally said, her voice strong, though her eyes squinted slightly in remembered pain. "I turned my back on him. I refuse to do the same again."

Kallen didn't understand for a moment. Then she did. "It will be a battlefield," she warned. But she was already moving to take hold of Nunnally's wheelchair, because she, too, didn't want to end up watching from the sidelines, useless and pathetic, as someone remade the world at the cost of their lives.

"I'm ready," Nunnally said, and the tone of her voice said she was already fighting.

Kallen led them out.

Nina Einstein lived alone. Her home was little more than a hovel, surrounded on all sides by forest and wilderness, cocooned on an abandoned side of Mt. Fuji, a tiny rockslide of rubble with no hint of sakuradite. She lived on what food and supplies were available in the nearest mining town about ten miles over. Quiet. Safe. She could touch no one. Could create nothing. She had no computer.

She hadn't been evil. Lelouch had told her that. But still she knew a stain lay in her wounds, in her eyes and in her heart. She knew the stain was dark. So she hid.

The forest was quiet, as it always was during the day. Even though the miners worked miles away, the repercussions were felt all the way to her home, where animals lay hidden and quiet, hoping their homes weren't destroyed the way other homes were destroyed. She stood on her back porch steps, arms crossed over her chest, and looked out toward the trees and bushes. She saw not one flicker of life, though she knew it teemed; at night, or in the evening, when the miners were finally quiet, the forest burst into life. Animals chittered, grasshoppers chirruped, cicadas sang. If it was still evening, she would likely see a red squirrel, or a shrike, or even, once, a fox. Each would scuttle and scurry through, desperately searching for food or water or a safe place to spend the night.

Animals were so human. She hadn't understood it, apart from the scientific knowledge – humans were another species of animal; they had evolved, and survived enough to evolve some more. Yet only out here, alone amongst the wilderness, did she see just how very much like animals humans were. They were familial, and social, like the sika deer who paced the far edges of Nina's sight, or the mountain hares who furrowed deep into their dens at night. They grouped together to stay alive, or for warmth, or merely for an illusion of safety. They were greedy, as the fox, or the marten, searching hungrily for what the wanted and tricking others out of the feast. They were scared, as the squirrels and the tanuki. They survived on the lives of others, and conquered without concern, as the mamushi and bears lorded over the animals they fed upon.

She was one such as they. She held tightly to those she loved – and how could she not once more think of the late Lady Euphemia? – and tricked and harmed others into doing as she desired – and how could she keep herself from remembering the holocaust of the F.L.E.I.J.A? – and thus survived on the deaths of countless others. She huddled on the sidelines, slightly cold in the wind's chill, the scent of wood and grass and sap filling her lungs while those she'd hunted blew like ash through the air around her. She was an animal, just like the rest. Only she hadn't the courage to face what she'd become.

Well. It had been a year, and only now did she think she was beginning to understand. No wonder Lelouch hadn't seen anything wrong with what she'd done. He'd known from the start just what humans were. It was why he'd done everything he had. He'd known, on some instinctive, visceral level, how stupid and cruel and animalistic humans were. While she'd pretended at being an intelligent being, removed from the natural life, Lelouch had reached that short, half-step higher than other humans. He owned up to his animal instincts to want to destroy and conquer, and he'd meshed it with his human intelligence, that which had removed them from the tedium of nomadic existence, that which had pulled them from the same routine other animals still circled through. He took what he wanted, ignored everyone else's opinions on the matter, and forced the world to bow to his wants. And in doing so, he made it a better place, and allowed himself to die. Demanded it, in the end. And she, furtively clinging to her own desire to live, and to live happily, went along with it, with a smile, because she was selfish and greedy and human.

She sighed. There wasn't much point in standing out now; the night was covering the forest, blanketing it in soft purples and blues. Beneath the deep canopy of leaves, the forest floor was little more than splashes of black and gray. She turned to go inside.

Even though she was on her back porch, she clearly heard the sound of someone walking up the steps of her front door. The squeak on the second step would have been enough of a giveaway without the loud swearing and cursing coming from a woman making her way up. Apparently she hadn't liked the three mile hike from the nearest dirt road.

"Oh, do suck it up, Cecelie. You're driving me nuts."

"You're already nuts!" she said, and this time Nina recognized her voice. She hurried back inside.

"I'm offended!" the man cried, his voice nearly high enough to be a woman's. Nina raced through her tiny abode and opened the front door before a full-blown argument could ensue.

"Nina!" Cecelie thankfully left off whatever response she'd been saving up to hug Nina the moment the door opened. Nina jumped a bit, startled at the unexpected contact. But she was a social creature, at her heart, and so she returned it, thankful for the first touch in months. "How are you? It's amazing, how you're able to survive here."

It was apparently Cecelie's attempt at tact. Nina smiled at it.

Lloyd sniffed as he barged his way into her home's tiny living room. "It's practically medieval," Lloyd said, noting the flickering gas lamp in the corner of the room. Electricity didn't pick up well so far away from the town, and it was best not to waste it on flickering light bulbs. Nina hid her smile at the sound of horror in Lloyd's voice. "Nina, you absolutely must come with us. This place can't be healthy for you." He wrinkled his nose. "Or for anyone."

Nina nearly laughed. Lloyd hadn't changed at all. "No, thank you. What are you doing here? Not that I'm not glad to see you," she quickly assured, as Cecelie gave her a worried frown. "But I haven't seen you since..." Her words trailed off as she wondered how exactly to put it. "Since things ended."

She hadn't expected Lloyd's sudden cackle. "That's just it! Isn't it wonderful, Cecelie? It's started again!"

Nina's heart froze. "What?" she whispered.

"She's back! Oh, I've wanted to get my hands on her from the moment I saw her!" And Lloyd jumped into her space, putting one finger up in front of her nose. "That odd green-haired woman, the one with Emperor Lelouch? She'd been different, you know. And then I learned she was an immortal!" He squealed just as he had that day, clapping his hands together and looking up, likely imagining possibilities, each more ridiculous than the last.

He'd been the one to start it, of course. He'd dug through archive after archive, searching for any sort of explanation for the odd woman. And he'd been the one to find an old painting of a woman some man had been madly in love with. And then another painting. And then some pictures of her with a little boy with hair so pale yellow it looked silvery-white. And of course, Lloyd had done a facial recognition scan and found each one to likely be the same woman... and then the entire damn group had found out. Nina sighed, remembering the woman's glares. Lloyd had made that woman's life a living hell, and she in turn had made everyone's lives a living hell. If it hadn't been for Lelouch putting a leash on Lloyd, the entire building would have been torn to cinders over the fight between the two.

Well, now that Lelouch was gone and C.C. was back, Nina supposed Lloyd found himself free of his leash. And he was running wild with it. "I don't want to chase after her. Just leave her be. Let it all go away."

"No, no, no," Lloyd said, waving her words away like pesky flies. Cecelie moved further into Nina's home. The only three rooms left were the kitchen, a thin hallway of a room, her bedroom, cramped with little more than her bed and a small wardrobe of clothes, and her bathroom, hidden in an alcove off her room like a closet. Cecelie shimmied her way into the kitchen. "Things had started before that. Didn't you know? Well, of course you didn't, living in this hollowed out tree in the back end of the world."

"Be nice or shut up, Lloyd," Cecelie called cheerily.

Lloyd sighed. "Some other woman with that girl's abilities showed up. That disappearing, reappearing thing she did around the emperor, you know? Though I only saw it once..." And the man fell back into that odd dreamland of his, where, Nina supposed, invisible rockets flew and Knightmares talked to people.

Nina let them go on in their little universes. It was nice to have people around, but their news made her wish once more for solitude. Why had they come to her? If the world was falling back into darkness, the stain in her would only become bigger if she were to return. She'd already done more to harm people than most ever did in their lifetimes. It would be safer if she kept herself uninvolved.

The F.L.E.I.J.A. still stood, a testament to human hunger. And the two people who had stopped it were no longer alive. The miracle of their victory was gone. If that was the case, then who – what – how could it be stopped? If people brought that monster back to life, what would the result be?

She chewed her lip as Lloyd sighed dreamily, lost even deeper into that fantasy land where people wore invisibility capes and took pills that reversed their lifespan. Something clinked in the kitchen, and Nina smelled the scent of coffee drift in from the kitchen. No point in telling Cecelie how to cook it; there weren't enough spices in the cupboard to ruin the drink altogether. She hoped. "Is it a war?" she asked, cutting into Lloyd's happy daydreams.

"Not yet. And we have to hurry, before it does. If they take away this specimen – oh, I could have kicked the emperor for doing away with the geass! If only I'd had one, just one – or if he'd let me look at his, or see how the immortal woman fit into it all! Oh, the things I could learn!"

It wasn't what she cared about, but if war was eminent, then that would have to do. Different goals, same destination. And she would make sure Lloyd didn't get his hands on anything that could spell the level of disaster she'd wrought on the world from her own curiosity.

"Let's go, then," she said, just as Cecelie came out with three coffee cups juggled in her hands. Nina made a small face; the coffee, closer now, no longer smelled quite like coffee.

Lloyd went and grabbed one of the cups, drinking it down with gusto. Nina quickly left the house before Cecelie could offer her one of the remaining drinks.

Lelouch shimmered before his sight.

It wasn't something he wanted to see. At that moment, he wasn't even sure it was real. The only thing that made it seem potentially true was the look on Lelouch's face. Even though he'd tried to distance himself from the man across from him, he couldn't take away what he knew. He saw the tightness at the edges of Lelouch's lips, and he knew it meant Lelouch was battling back some sort of pain. His eyes were squinted, as well – so physical pain, like a headache, as if he'd suffered from those hallucinations, as well. And also emotional pain, because those tightened lips were the same as they'd been when Lelouch took the blame for Euphie's death.

It wasn't something he wanted to see, because it reminded him too terribly of the things he'd just witnessed. Those horrible visions, ones that seemed to almost sparkle like gold. He reached for his gun, even as he pulled the hated phone to his ear. He didn't have it. Where was it? Oh, of course. It waited inside the warehouse, where he'd taken it out and brandished it against the white-haired immortal, even though he knew it would be a useless waste of bullets.

The warehouse where Schneizel stood, the motionless puppet staring vacantly at the immortal witch, where he repeated "you told me not to tell you" over and over again whenever he asked the bastard a question. Because the mindless fool couldn't see the difference between Zero and Lelouch. It made Suzaku want to scream. Which was probably why he'd, in a moment of pure petulance and no small amount of head pain, thrown his gun at the man.

"What?" he snapped, not bothering to play nice. For some reason, the answer made Lelouch smirk. The memory of his kiss took a sudden shot straight down to his groin. He knew exactly what that smirk tasted like.

"Hello to you, too, Knight of Zero." Lelouch chuckled as if he'd made some sort of witty joke. Or perhaps he just liked the color red Suzaku's face turned. "You've made a good deal of trouble, haven't you?"

"Me?" He snarled. He wished he could show Lelouch his rage, his fury. The lack of forgiveness in his eyes. But no, perhaps that wasn't the best idea. He could end up showing far more than he chose to. Lelouch always saw more. And now, when he was still reeling from those visions? While he still had tear streaks from the torture of seeing and feeling and knowing something that he had no right seeing or feeling or knowing? A world where their friendship had become something slightly more, like a comforting blanket turned somehow warmer... no. Best to keep the mask on.

"Yes, you," Lelouch said before Suzaku could begin properly to rage. "You'll need to keep a better distance from us from now on."

Suzaku nearly shot the man. He wanted to punch him, but with the need for distance – the catalyst even he managed to recognize for the visions he'd had shoved in his head – shooting him would have to be enough.

But it hadn't made him feel any better the last time he'd done it, and with the memories of something he didn't quite understand still shuddering in his brain, he didn't think he would react very well to his own actions. "This is your problem. If you weren't alive, that never would have happened." He thought of something. "Do you have any idea what this will do to your Zero's precious reputation?"

The words hurt Lelouch. He'd meant them to. Wanted them to. Yet when he saw how Lelouch's eyes pinched slightly at your problem and weren't alive and your Zero's, he couldn't help but hate himself. He knew Lelouch better now than he had an hour ago. He knew that Lelouch felt, that he hurt, that he blamed himself for all of this. Suzaku's heart jerked in his chest. He knew how Lelouch reacted in his arms, how he looked spread out on a bed, pale sheets against pale skin, dark hair like inky pools against the white. He knew how Lelouch looked when he woke from bad dreams – bad memories – and how it sounded when Lelouch admitted he was a monster. He knew the exact length and width of those fingers. Exactly how long those eyelashes were. Exactly how terribly fragile that perfect, diamond mind was.

"Your reputation will be spared," Lelouch said, pulling Suzaku back from the brink. He didn't even know what he felt anymore. Lost. Scared. In pain. In pain? "So long as D.D. is dealt with, the public will forget your supposed failure and will remember only your triumph."

Just as it had with Lelouch's Zero, when the man had lost, left, and somehow still become Japan's savior once again. But there was no anger in Suzaku. Only a desperate, aching feeling, like something he'd been clinging to had been snatched away from him. "Do you think that excuses everything that's happened?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't sound as hollow through the mask as it did in his own ears.

Lelouch didn't say anything. He didn't have to. That same damn look was on his face. The one he'd had when he'd admitted to killing Euphemia. To killing Shirley. The same look Suzaku himself had felt the day he'd killed his father. And he knew Lelouch would take the blame for it all. If it came down to it, he would take the blame for everything – D.D.'s appearance, Zero's supposed weakness just now, here at the docks. He would be brought back to life in order to become the world's enemy once more. And like before, he would be vanquished, and Zero would become the hero all over again. He could see it as if it was already happening. And he didn't want to. "What was that?" he asked finally. "That shit I saw – what was it?"

"Eternity." Lelouch frowned. "C.C. told me she'd explained it to you." After a moment, those purple eyes crinkled in mirth. "Ah. But allow me to explain it so that you may understand."

He was going to shoot him. He was.

"I was told you once saw Eternity. Back when you stood at Euphemia's state address?"

The anger that always cropped up at the mention of Euphie warbled in his chest. He didn't know anymore if it was anger or helplessness. He sucked in a breath. "I remember."

"Do you remember what you saw?"

Suzaku thought about it. He didn't want to. He wanted to just yell at Lelouch, maybe pull out his gun, if only to threaten him a little. If only he hadn't left it inside the warehouse. "I remember the symbol of geass. I remember seeing people, and a planet..." He caught himself saying this out loud and clamped his mouth shut.

"Yes. Geass and the World of C are linked. But what is the world of C? Simply a room within the rock walls of Kaminejima?" Lelouch shook his head, as if Suzaku hadn't caught the sarcastic tone in his voice. "No. It's something more. That place had merely been a – let's call it a gateway. A gate between the real world and the world of possibilities."

Suzaku could feel his brain flatlining. He didn't say a word.

Of course, Lelouch understood what his silence meant. And damn him, but he sighed and said, "those visions you saw then – and now – are of Eternity. Imagine fate, only shaped by human wills and desires. If we want something, we will strive to achieve it. One man, for instance, may want money for drugs. Another may want to reach home quickly. An interaction between the two wills causes a mugging. It could be as inevitable as destiny."

Suzaku snorted. "I didn't think you believed in that sort of thing."

"I don't. The very fact that all of this is happening is evidence that fate is not quite as it may seem."

Lelouch looked tired. And hurting. Now that he had no choice but to stand and stare, no choice but to listen instead of act, he could hear just how breathy Lelouch's voice was. See how those shoulders sagged just slightly. See how, when he looked over to Suzaku, those amethyst eyes burned into his mask. There was something Lelouch wanted Suzaku to see. Something Suzaku didn't want to see. He turned his gaze away. "What does that mean?"

At least this time Lelouch didn't sigh. Suzaku thought he wanted to, though. "Those two worlds you saw. The one, and then the other, floating above it? One of those worlds is reality. Truth – this actual world. The other is the world of what should be."

Suzaku shook his head. "Fate?"

"Yes. Fate, or inevitability, as created by people's own desires. The unconsciousness sees all this. That's the message of Eternity. The screaming, reaching corpses." Suzaku jerked slightly at the memory. He'd seen those very creatures within his own mind. He'd felt something like power, and envy. The touch of it had felt vile, and heavy. "The unconsciousness is those corpses. It's the will of every person who once lived. Imagine it touching the desires of trillions, quadrillions, quintillions of lost lives. It knows human desires intimately. Imagine it sees what each of the living's desires would do to the world.

"Now imagine the interruption of these plans by the geass." Suzaku struggled with just that which Lelouch had already told him. The unconsciousness was watching all humans on the planet? Like a god? Well, that was how Charles vi Britannia had considered it. So, like a god, it had watched and made some sort of plan for the future. Based on peoples' wishes? "Geass is nothing more than the manifestation of a person's wish. Or, perhaps, more a way to manifest these dreams. If a man wanted to become a famous artist, for instance, he could receive a geass and force people to buy any piece of artwork he drew for them."

Suzaku gripped the phone at the mention of what a geass could do. "And?" he bit out.

"When you have a geass, you should follow your desires. Correct? Humans are selfish." As usual, Lelouch spoke of the darkness in people's hearts as if it was nothing. Yet Suzaku remembered Lelouch shaking in his arms, admitting that yes, he was immortal, he couldn't be killed, and he knew his existence was a mistake.

Your existence is an error!

He shuddered.

"Consider the other geass users we've met. C.C, who used her power selfishly, without concern." No surprise there. But since that sounded like Lelouch, too... Suzaku's breath shook when next he breathed. No. He didn't believe that. As selfish as Lelouch undoubtedly was, he was no more selfish than anyone else. And in the end, he'd chosen to hide rather than risk the peace he'd achieved. He'd made himself a pariah. That wasn't selfishness. "Mao, whom you met, though you didn't know he was a geass user. He wanted C.C, and he was willing to do anything for it. Including hunting me, holding Nunnally hostage, and even hurt you." Even though Suzaku didn't want to see it, he saw the flash of purple fire that said that had been perhaps Mao's biggest mistake. He also didn't want to feel the warmth that burst stupidly in his chest. It didn't make any sense. "Charles and V.V, who both wished to stop time. And I forced the world to align with how I wished." For some reason, Suzaku's heart sped as he listened to Lelouch damn himself once again. "Geass lets people do whatever they want."

"That doesn't explain anything." But he thought he knew where Lelouch was going. But it couldn't be. Lelouch had wanted that? Wanted him? All that time? Then why hadn't he simply asked? Why hadn't having Suzaku and Nunnally been enough?

And, he asked himself, if Lelouch had simply asked for Suzaku? Would Suzaku have entered such a relationship with his best friend? He'd loved Euphie. He'd thought of Lelouch as simply a dear friend. Hadn't he?

No, he thought. No, Lelouch had never 'simply' been anything. As soon as he'd seen Lelouch again, the man had become the center of his world. Once more, without any thought to it, he'd revolved his life around his friend. Around him, and Nunnally, and the school. The school Lelouch had ensured he be welcome in. Nunnally, who was Lelouch's little sister. A girl he loved dearly... as his sister. He'd never once thought of Lelouch as his brother.

He couldn't let himself think like this. All it would do was hurt him. Like those images he'd been force-fed – images of what fate had decreed would be? What the unconsciousness had thought was inevitable?

"You're correct, of course, Suzaku," Lelouch said, and the words made Suzaku flush. Thank goodness he had the mask on. He didn't say anything, not knowing what Lelouch was talking about and hoping it had nothing to do with where his mind had wandered. "This is my doing."

No, he wanted to shout suddenly. No more taking on all the blame. But he bit his lip and held the words back. He hated those false memories. Hated how they'd been him, as much as they could be. Because he did still care for Lelouch, no matter what he'd done; he recognized everything Lelouch had done for him, and for the world, and he'd regretted Lelouch's death. If he let go of his anger, even for a moment, all he could feel was exactly what that false him had felt – relief. Thankfulness that Lelouch was alive. And if he was horribly, horribly honest with himself, he wouldn't mind finding out how Lelouch tasted – finding out if the memories were correct there, as well. Find out if Lelouch really did smell like charcoal and electricity.

"When I accepted my geass, I should have taken everything I wanted."

No. This was going exactly where Suzaku had thought it was going. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"But I didn't. The things I wanted most, I did not take for myself. Geass grants unlimited power – a chance to fulfill every single one of a person's desires. Who says no to such an ability? Who stands back and says, 'I will not take'? We are humans. Humans take from each other, even without power. They always do. There is no exception."

No exception. Suzaku thought of all the things he'd done. All the things he'd taken. Starting with his father's life and ending with Lelouch's. He'd taken Lelouch's very memories. His sister. His life. When faced with the power to do so, he had not hesitated.

And Lelouch? Lelouch, when faced with the chance to kill Suzaku, had ordered he live. Selfishly, he'd decided Suzaku's life for him. Lelouch was selfish, too.

He was right. Of course he was; he was indecently intelligent. Offensively so. Humans were selfish. Lelouch was, and Suzaku was. The world, in demanding all blame for all immorality be placed on Lelouch's shoulders, as if he had been the only one to commit atrocities. Every single human ever born was a monster.

Tears tore down his face. It wasn't something he wanted to realize. It wasn't something he wanted to know, or to acknowledge. It made Lelouch more than monstrous – it made him a hero, too. And if things had been different, Suzaku, monster that he was, could have been lover to this beautiful demon.

"Because I failed to take everything I wanted, there is a rift between what is and what should be. The unconsciousness is trying to rectify this problem." Lelouch looked toward the warehouse. The white-haired woman? But of course; hadn't Lelouch mentioned how she was no longer speaking in quotes? He was an idiot. "I suppose she needs an immortal's body to carry her, seeing as we can't die. She'll stop playing with us now. If she has any intelligence in her, 'Wisdom' will soon attempt to take either my or C.C.'s bodies."

A jolt crashed down his spine at the thought. He remembered the sight of that giant, writhing blob within the World of C. The idea of that forcing itself into Lelouch made his heart nearly break his rib cage. "That can't happen."

"I believe it must be a voluntary thing, or else she likely would have done it from the start. Likely, I would have to take what I want for myself. If she forces me, then it still is not the same as what 'Wisdom' believes things should be."

Suzaku blinked away his tears. That was right. If what Lelouch said was true, then that meant Lelouch wanted that future he'd seen. "And you have no intention of taking it?"

"I believe there's another option available. But until this situation is rectified, you need to stay away. Proximity sets this reaction off. Whenever you're near me, or the person who gave me my geass – C.C. – you will see Eternity again."

"I don't see..." He stopped, unsure of whether he should be admitting such or not. "I'm not leaving. Zero needs to be involved, or else that so-called 'triumph' the people need to see won't exist."

But Lelouch ignored his attempt to change the subject. "If you don't see Eternity, then what do you see?"

C.C. cleared her throat. Suzaku jumped; he'd forgotten about their audience. He turned to find C.C. pressed tightly up against the wall of the warehouse, as far away from him as she could be and still have the wall's support at her back. Toudou and Chiba stood a ways off, guarding the perimeter from curious glances. Their heads tilted slightly inward, toward the warehouse. They were clearly trying to listen in. He wondered if they could hear Lelouch's voice, or if it was just him. If so, how did the conversation sound to them? "He likely sees that other world," she said, answering Lelouch's question. "Eternity has fractured. While we see the cracks and holes, he likely sees through them, to the world that should be."

Suzaku flushed horribly as he remembered some of the things he'd 'seen.' And touched, and tasted. He closed his eyes. Gods, he'd seen Lelouch beneath him, felt those slim fingers, that smooth palm, around his member. Felt Lelouch pump him slowly, that smirk widening as he gauged Suzaku's reactions, slowing when Suzaku's breathing raced, hurrying when Suzaku's shoulders slumped. Keeping him on the edge, testing Suzaku's vaunted endurance. And within the restricted confines of the costume, his dick hardened. Thank goodness for the cape, too.

Lelouch looked at him for a very long time. Long enough that Suzaku wondered if he could somehow see the bulge beneath the loose cape, or if he somehow knew Suzaku's thoughts. Well, if he did, maybe he could share with the rest of the class. Because Suzaku didn't think he understood half of the avenues his mind was traveling down.

"Stay away from now on," Lelouch said. "Whatever happens, it's no longer your concern. I'll ensure D.D.'s focus remains on me. You will no longer be targeted. And I'll make sure the people think you took care of this matter."

No.

Lelouch stilled, enough that Suzaku realized he'd said the word out loud. He barged through before Lelouch could grab hold of the moment of weakness. "It's clear this is more than you can handle. And I need to know just what all of this entails." He had a bad feeling about what Lelouch meant when he said another option might be available.

And he would never, ever admit it, even under penalty of death, but he was afraid to let Lelouch out of his sight.

That other world – the world Lelouch said should have been. The world that, if Lelouch had been more selfish (as if that even made sense!), would have existed. Was it really what should have been? Would it have been a world Suzaku would have loved? He knew now the feel of a geass controlling him, and he hadn't felt it once within that alternate universe. Would he have willingly had sex with his friend? Formed a relationship with him, to the point where he mourned Lelouch's death before he even thrust the sword?

He needed to know. If he left now, without coming to understand anything, those images would haunt him for the rest of his life.

He straightened his spine. "I'm coming with you. Like it or not."