Don't Say You Love Me

Romano didn't know what to say. To be honest, he didn't see that coming. But … This must've meant that she felt the same way about him…Right? He chuckled to himself. He really was the probably the dumbest idiot in the world. What he did and what he was doing now. He'd wonder if he was ever going to be looking at her like that again. He clutched onto the flower necklace given to him during that night from earlier, as he closed the door for the last time.

It wasn't new that the Filipino colony and the Italian colony never really got along. Every time they saw each other they fought, sometimes, but nowadays not always, escalating to violence. But recently they seemed to have been getting along better, to the point where Romano and her would sometimes laugh with each other and go on semi-dates. He often would comfort Filipinas because of the constant abuses and harassment of Spain's bosses. It was even worse when he also found out the Spanish Bastard was beating her as well, though he often apologized for it. He was going through a hard time as well, with some of his other colonies leaving him and rebelling.

He was babied most of the time by him so he didn't realize what was up till the mansion began to crumble from within, more and more countries leaving them behind for the life of independence. Philippines had suffered it worse since some of those that rebelled, like Mexico, were countries she was rather close to. She had been forced to seal off all communications of any way with them, as well as China. She never showed any pain in front of him, accepting her duties and sometimes small beatings with a strong somewhat sad smile on her face.

Romano had never said anything to her at all, at first, because it was natural to see her with a couple of band-aids on her cheek. But they slowly and slowly began to increase in numbers, band-aids turning into bandages and patches, which then into casts and slings. Bruises were found uncovered sometimes because she either missed it or was just new. Those times she told him she was fine? She lied to him. Of course she'd never tell anyone what she was going through. She was stubborn like that. He had to go through something like a friggin' maze in order to find where she was hiding, sometimes injuring himself along the way because she never stayed in the same place twice.

At least that's what he had thought; not knowing she always hid herself away in a new place because of Romano finding her. She hated how he would always find her even when she wanted to hide away. She really didn't like that at all. But she would always lose herself when he does find her. He came by so often it was practically a reflex to fling herself into his arms and hold him till she was done with her tears.

They still fought quite often, but it was mainly verbal, as she mellowed out a lot, her temper still easily raised, but not as high as she did before in the past. There were occasional hits upside the head, never escalating above crotch shots. The verbal fights though were ruthless at times, depending on moods, from sometimes with one or the other upset or angry.

Still, though they somehow managed to get close to each other. They often went out together, sometimes because they needed to get groceries and sometimes because Romano would take her for a change of scenery. It was those times, though she'd never admit it that made her feel warm and safe around him. He stayed with her till she couldn't stop smiling, which was often his danger point, meaning he felt as if he was going too far. Both stubborn in an unhealthy way with each other, they always made small arguments with each other but in the end they always had fun.

But recently, there had been a snag in the countries relationship. A typhoon, it had seemed, between the two colonies, had hit the two, colliding and butting heads back and forth over and over. It never ceased, their arguments making a lot of the other countries nervous. It got so bad, with one or the other throwing something at each other, Spain had to keep them working constantly in different areas. The reason why this all started?

Romano was returning back to his home.

March 15, 1861, 9:48 PM.

The last day he would be in this household; the last day he would ever have to live with these people. True, he will miss a few, like Belgium and (to his own damn surprise) Spain. But there was one he definitely wouldn't miss. The one who stabbed him and overthrew him just because of a kiss when they first met. The one who did all sorts of bad fighting moves on him, who slammed him against the ground, slapped him all around, broke his back once or twice, and even suplexed his ass once or twice. The one who would continually act like she was strong when really she was a very weak girl at heart. The one who would accept everything and blame her beatings on herself because she believed it with all her heart she was at fault. The one who he went ahead and shared a small area far from the mansion that they went to together at nighttime, when everyone was asleep to watch fireflies fly around the pond. That one girl who could make his heart beat faster when she held him and even faster when her smile was only for him at one moment or another. He wasn't going to miss her one bit.

He chuckled to himself in a rather smug way, a smirk curving through his lips. 'I won't miss her. I know that,' he thought to himself. He thought it and repeated it over and over, and yet here he was, going over to her room. Convincing himself that it was only because of the fact that even though they weren't talking, he should at least try and say good-bye to her. He did spend a lot of time with her, whether she liked it or not, so it wouldn't make much sense if she was the only one who he didn't say good-bye to. Not only that but he wanted to try and talk this all out with her, maybe quell her anger a bit.

Course doing that with that hellish temper meant death for a lot of people. He was dealing with a dangerous level that made her past, when she was starting to live with Spain, violent attempts look like a tiny cat's temper tantrum.

But this one was much, much worse than that of her normal tantrum. She was actually pissed. This wasn't a joke. It wasn't a small grudge that goes away that easily through sweets and fireflies. The minute they had made eye contact after he told her a fair few weeks ago what was going on with him, she would start growling at him before breaching the point of absolute hatred. Throwing tables, knives anything handy that she could reach, she threw it at him calling him. He didn't know why she was so bothered by it. But then again … He did.

Romano was the one who helped her look on the brighter things in her life, who brought back that smile he thought he would never get to see while he was with her. He was the one who held her when she was sad and sometimes, if he couldn't hide his amusement anymore, laugh whenever she did something cute or when she laughed. They did so many things together and now, with him taking her out on days when she didn't want to and days when she asked him to. And now he was leaving. Simple logic really, so this came as no surprise of her reaction. But she didn't have to go this far.

Lost in thought he ended up tripping over something. Before he got a chance to yell at whoever the hell it was, he realized just who it was he was about to threaten. Filipinas was still in her uniform, looking like she was once again scrubbing something on the ground, the feeling of nostalgia overtaking him a little. This was how he first saw her. But there was something off. Yes she was up rather late this evening but it wasn't that out of the ordinary. But before he could get a chance to get in a word, she growled at him. "What the hell do you want?" she asked anger in her tone.

"What? A guy can't walk around this late at night?" he scoffed, his eyes rolling in another direction. Filipinas sent him one glare and went back to work on the ground she kneeled on, her light blue skirt getting dirtier by the second. He sighed and picked himself up and dusted himself off. Walking over and standing next to her, he gulped and said the words that may cause him to go through an even worse hell than the one he went through as a child. "I came because I wanted to talk to you."

"…Is that so?" she asked. "What's there to talk about? You're leaving. End of story. Nothing to talk about, idiot." Filipinas stood back up and purposely bumped her shoulder into Romano's as she walked past him. In anger, he grabbed her arm and yanked her back.

"What the hell is your problem!" he asked angrily. "I'm trying to make better terms on you and you're giving me the fucking cold shoulder?"

She kept her head turned away, yanking her arm back continuing to walk away. He was going to regret this later, with her anger so high up, but he was not going to let her do this to him. Not without knowing why she was making this an even bigger deal than it needed to be. This wasn't like her to be so friggin emotional with her anger.

His foot slammed against the wall, the hem of her dress pinned against the wall, causing the Filpino to stop in her tracks. "…Let. Go," she hissed, her face still away from him.

"Not until we have our chat," he said with an equally low hiss.

"There's nothing to talk about. Go and leave, and see if I'll miss you, asswipe," she growled. "Now let GO."

He could feel her anger rising in her voice, but that really didn't matter. "I'm not going to. We have to talk about this." He didn't understand why he had to feel as if he needed to talk to her, even after saying he wasn't going to miss her at all. But he did anyway. Here he was up late at night, trying to make amends, even though it was mostly a one sided argument with mainly her yelling and throwing stuff. Sure he argued back, and he also threw stuff at her, but not as violently as her.

Her face looked to him, even though it was just a small bit, her bangs still covering her face, Filipinas' bandaged eye staring at him. She looked quite threatening to him at that moment. But he didn't back down. "Let go, or I will hurt you, bastard."

"Why are you so damned pissed about this?" Romano replied back, ignoring her threat. "It's one thing to yell at me, but it's another to go on a fucking hurricane and try to destroy every part of my damn body."

"That's none of your damned concern!" she snapped back. "Now just take your foot off and go away."

"It is my concern! Filipinas, we've been talking together for a long time. I pretty much know by now when you're bothered by something!"

"I'm not bothered, now let go of my dress!"

"Not until you give me a damn…!"

SMACK! A wet washcloth was slapped across his face causing him to stagger backwards. "I said I'm not bothered, you asshole! Now take your damn face out of my sight and go back to ITALY! I don't fucking care anymore!" she yelled at him

"As if I believe that you stupid bitch!" he yelled to her, his face scowling, his fists shaking with anger. God, why were women so fucking stubborn? Wait a sec, that's not a woman. That's a demon child. He really wanted to pummel her face in. But that defeated the entire purpose of him wanting to meet up with her. "Tell me why you don't like me going back to home! I want to know why, god dammit!"

Filipinas' eyes shot a glare that made him quake a bit. "Don't FUCK with me Romano! I told you; there is nothing WRONG with me!"

"And I'm telling you I don't believe you!" he yelled back to her, his voice practically straining now. "Now you're lying, I can tell! Tell me, what the hell is it?"

She was taken aback by that comment, though no eye contact was made. He was tempted to smirk out of victory, but if he did, the argument would've been pointless because she would've attacked him and got away. His last chance would be gone and he wasn't going to let that happen.

Filipinas got her thoughts back in order and told him to fuck off before speeding through another direction. And now she was seriously running away from him. Pushing him over before he could grab her. Seriously? Romano gritted his teeth and let out a snarl. Jumping upwards, he gave chase. "You should know I'm at my best when I'm running!"

As fast as Filipinas was, she was no match for the master of running. He caught up to her after a while, him grabbing her from behind by the waist in the living room area. Kicking and screaming she scratched his chin and cheeks before he did the same thing that she did once or twice and suplexed her. It was a rather new experience, but it shut her up. He felt bad about doing that to her, but she wouldn't stop. He was surprised that no one came out to check out the noise. Maybe they did but didn't want to interfere. He didn't really care though.

While she was sitting down and rubbing her head, Romano approached her and kneeled down in front of Filipinas. Grabbing her wrists, Romano felt her struggle relentlessly. Filipinas' hands managed to scratch him even more before he yanked them down to the ground and pinned them there. Filipinas kept her head down the entire time as she continued to struggle with him. "What the hell's wrong with you? Why won't you say anything to me anymore?" he asked, anger rising with frustration in his tone of voice.

"Why are you so intent – "

"Because I'm worried about you!" he yelled.

Filipinas stopped moving as Romano continued speaking. "Even though I hate being treated the way you did! You were so goddamn annoying!" he shouted out to her, his face turning red with every passing second. "Just for a small kiss on your hands or your cheek and you'd kick the shit out of me. If I didn't do my chores correctly, you'd hit me. Flirt on the job, you'd smack me around! Do you think I like being treated like that?"

"Well that's because – "

"I'm not done!" he interrupted. Filipinas scoffed annoyed at his remark. Was he ranting or something? Do it to someone else! However, she couldn't get free. She's never been like this with him before, never pinned by him for a long period of time. It was pretty new to her that he was suddenly able to do that. She was honestly a little intimidated by this, but kept her mouth shut.

"Everything I did pissed you off! There was never any way to please you! You'd yell at every single damn thing I said and did. I don't even understand why how the hell I managed to deal with that bullshit for so fucking long! …And yet …" His voice began to soften though, his hands shaking a little bit, as he spoke out his next phrase. "Yet, even when I messed up, you helped me clean up. You'd take the blame for me when I break something and whatever punishment I would've gotten."

He never understood why she would do that if she didn't like him at all. Wouldn't it have been better that she just left him alone? But then again, he shouldn't talk. When she got sick, he often took care of her, which surprisingly was easy to do. Even worse, she even thanked him for it. It was odd to hear her say anything like that to him, so he would retort insults back at her never showing his blushing face. His voice rose again as he spoke up again.

"Then when we got older, the violence quieted and calmed down with just small bits and pieces of verbal abuse. I never got hurt physically, only just a couple but you would say things that made me both hurt and angry. You treated me even worse with your words sometimes!" Romano looked like he was in so much pain. "Yet after that … Even after all that, I would notice that you would disappear often for long periods of time. It didn't bother me at first, but I noticed the time you were gone was increasing as well as the bruises. I don't know why I got so damn worried over you, but I felt like I needed to go and find you!"

He remembered going down and around every nook and cranny trying to find her. It took a while, but he found her when he heard quiet weeping in an outside area in one of the private outdoor regions. When Romano saw her like that, he didn't know what to say. It was new to him, that such a tough and annoyingly violent demon child was…acting so very fragile all of the sudden. "I often forgot that you were away from your siblings and that the countries you spoke so often to were no longer able to make contact with you. You'd act like it didn't bother you much and that you were completely understanding but you were just lying. You'd hold in your tears like nothing's wrong and you'd never anyone see you cry. That was when - -"

"Shut up!" she shouted. Filipinas was shaking with anger and anxiety. She wasn't used to being restrained by him for a long period of time. This must've been him when he's serious because she never ever saw him like this before so very strong and intimidating. Breaking free, Filipinas pushed him away and turned her back to him. "What the hell are you trying to gain from telling me this?" she asked him, getting up from the ground.

"….ve you…" she heard him mumble.

Filipinas eyes widened, her feet stopping dead in her tracks. She didn't move at all, her feet frozen to the ground. "Wh-what did you…just say?" she asked him, her voice giving a tone of shock.

"I said I love you…" he said.

Filipinas turned back around and smacked him right in the face, the blow causing him to stagger a bit. His back against the wall, Filipinas yanked his collar down to her eye level, and started to punch him. "Do you think this is funny?" she yelled at him. "Is this some sort of damn joke cause I'm NOT laughing!"

He glared down, wincing in pain as she continued to punch him over and over again. Slowly and slowly though, her punches started to have a smaller and smaller impact on him. His stomach was in pain but he spoke out anyway. "What the hell makes you think it was a joke? What, because I always fight with you, that means I don't give a damn about you? I may have sounded as if I was excited to be going home! In fact I am and I can't wait to get out and away from here!"

Looking up temporarily face-to-face, he saw the thing that was off about her. The face she made, that small look of sadness that she always tried to hide. The first look she made that made him fall in love so deeply with her. "Just stop it already! I don't wanna hear anymore out of your damn - !" Romano leaned downwards and kissed her lips, caressing her cheeks softly. She didn't speak only, hesitantly kissing back before she broke it off.

"Wh-what're you…!" Before she could push him away, he pulled her into his arms, as tightly as he could, resting his chin on her head. "Why won't you just be honest and say you don't want me to leave…?" he said calmly. Her cheeks wet, her eyes red, her face so flustered, he realized she was crying this entire time. That much he knew for sure now.

"Because it's useless to try and say it! You made up your mind and I didn't want to have to deal with it. I'd rather push you away then beg for you to stay…" she mumbled in his chest.

"…If I really made up my mind, I would've given up on talking to you a long time ago," his voice shaking.

Filipinas stopped, her fist shaking, her growls, her whimpering. "I didn't know what to do. I was at first really excited to finally be free from Spain. But…at the same time, I … I didn't want to be apart from you. I finally got you to open up to me. I finally got to you to smile at me and just talk to me in general." His voice started to break as he hugged her tighter. This really wasn't fair.

"…Just don't…Just don't go…please?" she mumbled into his shirt, teething his chest pocket. He felt more tears drop onto his shirt before he lifted his head and positioned her for another kiss. He can't. He knew that better than anyone. But he whispered something into her ear which made the crying girl blush a furiously red color. Filipinas stared at him in disbelief. She looked down, twiddling with her fingers.

"F-fine… i-if that's what I need to do…" she told him, her breath short from the embarrassment of what he had just asked.

He gave an awkward smile to her, his lips pressing against hers again, picking her up and opening the door to his room, shutting it quietly. He didn't let her go either way till they were on his bed with her on her back. The kiss broke with him moving down to her neck, biting it lightly as he slid his hands around her waist, beginning to untie the pieces that bound her uniform together. "…Romano…"

He stopped looking to her. Romano felt her hands wrap something around his neck then coming to his cheeks and kissing him softly. "Please don't forget me…" she said, tears flowing down her cheeks, a strained smile to try and show him she didn't hurt. He pressed his lips back against hers finishing taking off her clothes as she began to take off his.

"…I can never forget you."

Filipinas lied down asleep, the blanket covering her body pretty well, her eyes opening slowly as she felt around for something, the warmth she spent the rest of the night clutching onto. When she couldn't find it, she got scared. Her eyesight began to recover, blurs becoming clear by the second, the sunlight helping clearing up her line of vision. The spot that was supposed to have Romano in it was empty. She sat up, something beginning to wave below her. She looked down at herself and saw a silver cross instead of her necklace. Now she remembered. He was gone now. It would probably be a long time before she ever saw him again. She was going to say it again, but he wasn't there to explain he can't.

He was just not there.

She sat there clutching the cross, tears coming out again. He was gone. No good-bye or anything. He was just…Gone. "You really are an idiot…" she told him and herself.