Time: April 4th, 2184
Location: Afterlife, Omega

If you told Kasom Bultas that credits can't buy you happiness, he'd just laugh in your face. Though he'd need to prop himself up on one of his crates first. Amongst the elite of the diminutive volus, Kasom was a titan. He made his vast fortune in shipping and trade. If you were transporting goods between worlds, odds are they were secured in one of his crates. They say money talks, and he sure loved to blab. He had purchased everything from mansions and customized starships to exotic animals and ancient relics. Kasom was the center of his universe and he enjoyed the attention he got.

But as with every being of greatness, Kasom Bultas had what would prove to be a tragic flaw. It wasn't his size, his unique charms or even his big spending. Kasom Bultas had a temper shorter than a krogan midget. It didn't take much to set him off. An odd shove, a random nudge. Or just refusing to do as he wanted.

Kasom had set off with his new asari friend Shani K'Nelan to paint the town on Omega. Afterlife was the first stop on his night of debauchery. It was a simple enough plan: some drinks, then some dancing. And then to someplace private to… embrace eternity. After getting sufficiently liquored up it was time for Kasom and Shani to strut their funky stuff on the dance floor. The little guy wasn't too bad! It might have been a great night for them both if only he didn't bump into Randy Mitchell.

Or if Randy Mitchell didn't bump into him, as he accused the young human of doing. Mitchell was kind of a punk but even he knew that picking a fight with a volus was like punching a baby. There are some things you just don't do! Kasom wanted him off the dance floor and out of the club. The human tried to give him the brush off and move away.

Wrong answer, Mitchell!

Kasom Bultas wasn't gonna let an upstart human embarrass him in front of his latest squeeze, oh no! He demanded satisfaction. Shani tried to calm him down but the volus was determined to show this little punk what's what. A shoving match broke out between David and Goliath on the dance floor. Mitchell continued to try and back out, but the little slugger sallied forth. Finally, Mitchell had all he was gonna take from this shrimp and figured just knocking him on his back would make his point. But as his hand snapped up to shove Kasom, one of the sharp ornaments on his bracelet moved just in front of his palm and got pushed through into a weak spot of Kasom's environment suit...

Worst. Sucker punch. Ever.

Volus and quarians are the only known races that require suits to move about and interact with the rest of galactic society safely. Suit failure spells trouble for both. When a quarian suit fails, the greatest menace is infection and disease due to their compromised immune systems. But when a volus suit goes, it's a whole lot worse.

The volus originate from Irune, a world with an ammonia-based atmosphere and gravity about 1.5 times that of the human homeworld, Earth. It is inhospitable for all other Council races, but the volus thrive there. When heading off world, their environment suits not only allow them to breathe but also replicate the high pressure atmosphere of their planet needed to literally hold them together.

When Kasom's suit blew, he was delivered a fatal two-pronged attack. The nitrogen-oxygen based outside air went straight into his lungs and choked him. The poisonous air only affected his ability to scream out and would have killed him in minutes. The sudden depressurization caused him to burst like a balloon.

This little scuffle was over, all right. No one could accuse Kasom of not having any guts - they had all sprayed over Mitchell and Shani. Any curiosity about what volus looked like underneath their suits died on that dance floor along with any appetites the partygoers may have had. Shani fainted from the shock. Mitchell fell to his knees and screamed hysterically, dripping with entrails. He was taken to a nearby medical center to receive sedatives and counseling. Afterlife was forced to close down briefly to tidy up. The remains of the volus were scooped into a bag to eventually be shipped back to Irune…

Safely tucked inside one of his crates.

So ends the tale of the great and powerful Kasom Bultas. He'd bought all of the king's horses and all of the king's men. But even they couldn't put this blowhard… back together again.

Way #6984: Ham Grenade

END