Before you begin reading this: You MUST to go Flame'Alchemist-sensei's page . She's my Captain Kirk and the co-writer of this story and if it weren't against the rules and guidelines, every other chapter of this would be posted on her account, soooo...yeah. Just go there. Give her some love.

And you may have noticed that the genres for this are Humour/Romance. Yeah, by that we mean "There are a couple of funny bits in this story about competitive flirting. So that's cool, yeah?"

Also, just coz we named ourselves after characters DOESN'T MEAN that we have any claim to Star Trek. Or Doctor Who/Torchwood/SJA, for that matter.

"Captain, I'm receiving a strange signal from the asteroid," Lieutenant Uhura's voice cut through the relative calm of the USS Enterprise's bridge. The ship was in no particular hurry to get anywhere, so they were traveling on impulse power and currently passing what had seemed like a small, normal asteroid.

Jim Kirk looked to Spock with a questioning expression. "I thought the asteroid was uninhabited?"

"It is," Spock replied. "Sensor scans completed five-point-four minutes ago showed no life forms on the asteroid."

"I'm still receiving a distress signal," Uhura said, "coming directly from the surface of the asteroid. There must be someone down there."

"Mr. Spock, scan the asteroid again."

"Captain, there is no atmosphere on the asteroid," Spock explained with an air of one stating the obvious to a small child. "Even if there were some sort of life form on it, it would be dead before the scans complete."

"Perhaps ve should just find ze source of ze signal and beam it up," Chekov suggested.

"It may be malicious," Spock pointed out.

"Or," Kirk countered, "it could be in distress. Send a security team down to the transport room." He pressed the comm button. "Kirk to transport room."

"Scott here, sir."

"Scotty, I want you to find the source of that distress signal and beam it up. Spock and I will be right down. Kirk out."

Whatever Kirk, Spock, Scotty, and the rest of the security team were expecting to be beamed up, it most definitely was not this. A tall, dark haired man in a twentieth-century military coat materialised on the transport pad, gasping for breath.

Nobody spoke as he breathed heavily for a while, nor when he eventually straightened up and took a look at his surroundings. Appearing pleased at finding himself in an environment able to support human life, he gave the room at large a cocky smile and strode over to Kirk, hand outstretched.

"Captain Jack Harkness," he announced, borderline flirtatiously, and took Kirk's hand. "I'll assume you're in charge of this ship?"

"That I am," Kirk responded. "Captain James T. Kirk. Welcome aboard, Captain Harkness."

Maybe it was the arrogant air that he carried himself with, or his annoyingly inquisitive comments about the Enterprise, or perhaps even his barely contained flirtatiousness toward all of the female-and even the male-crew members, but after their first encounter, Kirk simply could not bring himself to call this man Captain.

Captain of what exactly? Himself? In Kirk's opinion, unless one was a certified Starfleet officer, or something of the sort, which Harkness most certainly was not, one did not deserve the title of Captain, no matter how charismatic that one may appear to be. Showing him around the ship, Kirk did notice one thing, perhaps from a viewpoint of the feeling of personal and professional rivalry he felt towards this man. He had an air about him. Somewhat of a challenge waiting to happen. It was like he wanted to stir up trouble, like he relished it. And he also seemed to have a particular interest in Mr. Spock.

Captain Kirk simply could not stand how Jack's - as he had fervently insisted they all call him - eyes lingered a moment longer than necessary on Spock and how all his questions seemed to be somehow directed to the Vulcan. It gave Kirk a strange feeling, like something inside him was boiling and he just absolutely had to find out what this man was up to and what he wanted with Spock.

Interrupting a monologue of Mr. Scott's about the inner workings of the Enterprise's engine systems, Kirk clapped Jack on the shoulder and said, "Mr. Harkness, perhaps later this evening, if you aren't too fatigued from your ordeal today, you could stop by my quarters. We could have a drink, discuss," he paused for a moment, unsure of what to say, "how you came to be here and how the Enterprise may be of any help to you." He ended with a confident smirk, showcasing that he could be just as charming as this Harkness character, and maybe even more so.

"Well, if it wouldn't be too much trouble on your part Captain Kirk, I'd love too. I also have some things of which it might be in your interest to... discuss." He gave a too-wide smile and a casual wink, before launching back into his unending regimen of questions for Spock and the rest of the crew.

"Jim, what the devil is this about?" Doctor McCoy had pulled the Captain of the Enterprise to Sickbay as they were leaving the conference, grumbling something about blood and poison that nobody could really make out.

"I don't know," the Captain replied. "You're the one who dragged me in here …"

"I mean with Jack!" McCoy explained. "Why do you need to talk to him alone in your quarters? Who the hell is he anyway?"

"I don't know, Bones," Jim said, starting to pace. "That's why I need to talk to him!"

"Okay," Bones agreed, "I see why you need to talk to him, but why do you have to be alone?"

Jim stopped pacing and stared at his friend. Ignoring his question, he asked one of his own: "Have you seen the way he looks at Spock?"

The doctor snorted. "Have you seen the way he looks at everyone?"

Jim shook his head. "No, no, it's different with Spock!" he insisted as he resumed his pacing.

"That's just your overprotectiveness, kid."

"I'm not overprotective!" Jim snarled overprotectively. "And you have to admit, he does ask Spock a lot of odd questions."

"He's curious!" McCoy defended the "Captain". "He's never been on a starship before, he's just curious how it works."

"First of all," Jim retorted, "he's a hitchhiker. He's probably seen plenty of starships. And secondly, that's not the sort of question I'm talking about. He asks Spock these weird questions. 'Are you a time traveller?' 'Have you ever been to Gallifrey?' (What is Gallifrey anyway?) 'Are you a doctor?' Why would he ask Spock if he was a doctor?" He stopped pacing once again and wheeled around to face his friend, wide-eyed.

Doctor McCoy shrugged. "Maybe he thinks Doctor Spock has a nice ring to it."

"But even when he just met Spock!" Jim insisted. "Did you hear him? 'Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Spock.' He wasn't even flirting. He said it like a joke!"

"You," Bones said slowly, as if speaking to an overexcited, uncooperative child (because really, how else could you describe Captain James T. Kirk?), "are overreacting. Jack's harmless, he's just a hitchhiker, and he's clearly been through a lot today. I just don't think you need to have him alone with you in your chambers."

"What, are you scared he's gonna rape me?"

"He has already gotten five crew members in bed."

Kirk wasn't completely aware of what his facial features were doing, but he was certain it couldn't be pretty. "Five crew members?" he said in a sort of strangled whisper. "FIVE? How? He's only been here for three hours!"

Bones looked down and shrugged, a strange expression on his face. "You gotta admit, Jim, the man is good."

Jim stared at his friend. "Oh, Bones, not you..."

"What can I say? He is … very good!"

"I thought you were straight," Jim said, unsure whether he was horrified or fascinated. Five people in three hours...

"So did I," Bones said, shaking his head. "And you know what? I'll bet little Timothy Turner down in engineering thought he was too. As for Ensign Powell … well, everyone knows he plays for the other team."

Captain Kirk tried to stop himself asking the question in his head. Unfortunately, Jim got the better of him. "What about the other two?"

"Janice Rand," McCoy said. "You know she's got a thing for Captains."

"He's not -" Jim started to correct Bones before realising something. "Janice - Rand? As in … my Yeoman Rand?"

"Is there another Janice Rand on this ship?"

Kirk considered this. "No, not that I know of...anyway, who's the last one?"

"Lieutenant Uhura."

"I thought she was with Spock?"

"They broke it off a month ago," McCoy said, eyeing his friend. "I thought you knew that."

"No, I didn't!" Kirk seemed a bit too happy about the news. "Well," he continued, looking at his left wrist as though expecting to see a watch there (who even wore watches anymore?), "I'm expected in the bridge. Nice chat. 'Bye!"

And he left, having seemingly forgotten all about Captain Jack Harkness.

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