AN: Chapppttteeerrrrr fooouuurrrr! YAY! How excited are you? My few... reviewers... Sadness. If you're reading this I would really just adore a comment because those reviews are the things that will make me want to keep writing this story! I mean, come on, I wouldn't be writing this without you lovely reviewers who, you know, review. By the way, big shout out to ruthie-r89 who makes me want to keep writing this story and another huge shout out to Paigewho I wouldn't be writing this story at all if it wasn't for her! LOVE YOU BOTH! So anyway, there will be a lot of emotion and pain in this chapter but hopefully some kick ass action too! Probably not but one can hope ;) I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!... and reading your lovely reviews... Hint. Hint. ;) ;). Alright anyway, enough of that nonsense! STORY TIME!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Band of Brothers. The only thing I own is my sexy girl and the fantastic idea of the story. Though I wouldn't mind owning some of those hot boys if you know what I mean ;)

Call My Name and Set Me Free

Chapter 4: What Do You Expect of Me?

That was one of the most awful and terrifying things I have ever and probably will ever go through. When we finally made it back to the meet up point I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I was drained of all life just like a dead plant in the dry ground in summer time. My sun was gone... my way of living and source of happiness was torn from my grasp in seconds and this time, there was absolutely nothing I could possibly do to get that life source back.

The sky above seemed darker, the ground below seemed farther, and the air seemed colder. The air in my lungs was being sucked out of me and my heart could barely maintain its heartbeat. Boulders were stomping on my soul in a heated passion. Everything around me was spinning in a horrid fashion. It was like a dance I just couldn't quite keep up with.

Lifeless, I stumbled into camp and sat beneath that same weeping tree. This time, I found no warmth of comfort of it's homey touch. There was nothing around me that felt remotely sane. With every shaky breath I took, my eyes blurred and tears soaked my pale cheeks. My stomach rose and fell in a very harsh pattern. Dirt traveled along side my tears and blood stained the green grass below as I clenched my torn fingernails into my palm. My shirt was torn and my boots coated in thick dried mud.

As the air blew across my face I felt not calmness but a bust of anxiety and depression. How could life do this to me? How could GOD do this awful unspeakable thing to me? What had I ever done to deserve this seething hatred! What had John ever done to deserve being ruthlessly murdered?... Why hadn't I been there to protect him?... What the hell was I doing when he was running in fear then hit with that damn grenade? Oh, I remember... Spacing out and hiding like a cowardly fool! It's all my fault John was dead and I knew it! Out of everything in my life, God just had to take John away from me...

"Lexie?..." Dicks soothing voice whispered in front of me. I hadn't even realized my red headed friend was here until he spoke. Dick was knelt down in front of me with his hands resting on my knees and his eyes focused on mine with a deep concern that even the best actors of the world could never fake. "How are you holding up Lex?"

My facial expression couldn't have pointed out what was going on in my head anymore then it was now. How the hell did he think I was doing? I just lost my fiance and he's asking me if I'm okay? WHAT THE HELL!

"Oh, I'm doing wonderful Richard darling. I was just wondering what I would be doing right now if John was still alive. Guess I'll never know, huh?" I asked him scornfully. I know it wasn't Dicks fault but I couldn't understand how he could ask such a stupid question like that! His face scrunched up in pain and he recoiled away from my harsh words and I winced inwardly. I'd never said anything that awful to him before...

'You know," Dick started slowly, "You didn't just lose your fiance today, I lost a soldier under my command... My first soldier. Remember that," he finished sullenly. Dick pushed gently off of my knee and stood up, towering above me before he turned and took his leave. Sighing, I buried my head in my knees and felt cold tears soak my green army pants.

After several long minutes of wasted tears and lost time, I wiped my eyes of the little salty devils and sucked in a shaky breath. I wasn't completely sure how I was going to make through this damn war now but I knew I wasn't aloud to back down now. John would hate me for it if I left the war now and just gave up and ,in all honesty, I would hate myself too.

"You know, crying about it only makes you feel worse," a familiar Philly voice filled the air. I chuckled the best I could but somewhere along the line it got a little stuck between my lips and a cry of despair replaced the joy. Sobs filled the misty night air and I fell back against a damp tree and closed my eyes shut tight.

I felt Bill place himself next to me and my head shifted to lean on his strong shoulder. I felt him tense under me but I reached over to lace my arm through his and made myself comfortable. He sighed and resigned into the warm embrace I was giving him. My tears danced down my pale cheeks to pool on his dirty shirt. His arm shifted out of mine to instead rest around my frail shoulders and pull me even closer to his side. We fit perfectly together, just like a finished puzzle when you finally put in that last piece.

I sighed and shifted deeper into his embrace and I heard his shudder slightly. "You know, I never told you what was wrong with me this morning, did I?" Bill asked stonily.

I glanced up at his composed features and wished I knew what was going through his head. My head shook as a simple answer and his eyes traveled down to find mine. It's felt as though he was clinging onto my very soul with those eyes of his. It was an intense feeling that I needing to cling onto.

"Well, growing up I had a lot of siblings. Big family in Philly, you know?" Bill started. I nodded in acceptance of what he was saying and he continued. "Well, I was the closest to my brother Henry. When I was training in Taccoa, he was off fighting in Italy. Right before we got on the plane to jump into Normandy, I found out that he was killed in Monte Cassino. I guess I was just so mad at the Germans and the war that I turned into a complete ass to everyone around me as well..." Bill finished with a sadness in his tone that could tear your heart apart. I reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it with a gentle reassurance.

I turned to look back up at him to find he was already staring down at me. "I'm so sorry Bill..." I whispered. He just stared back but I could tell he knew I wasn't just talking about his brother. I was talking about the war, the death, the pain, and everything that had gone wrong in the past couple of years. I was sorry for all of it. I knew my words wouldn't do much good but there was nothing else I could do to help other then being here for him when he needed me. Bill finally nodded painfully slow and his eyes searched mine in a questioning manner, trying to find something that I wasn't even sure was there.

"Me too..." He finished off then he turned to stare back into the night sky. I stared at him for a few more moments until I closed my eyes and let my weary head rest on his broad shoulder. In the distance we could hear a town being blown to shreds but I tried to focus on anything other then that. I couldn't fathom how many innocent men and women were being ruthlessly murdered by the Nazi's. I wondered how much blood Hitler already had on his hands, why for the love of God would he want to add to it? I'll never know.

I awoke the next morning to the shrill chirping of small birds and the smell of smelly soldiers. You'd think after so many years I'd be used to it by now! I tried to left my head but found it was being weighed down by another. Smiling, I cuddled closer to Bill. I remembered the way he stared at me and the way he held me.

Wait, WHAT? What the hell was I doing? I just lost my fuckin' fiance and here I am sleeping, well in a sense, with another man! God, I feel so filthy right now! Opening my eyes, I yawned and stretched my hands above my hoping it would be enough to joist Bill out of his deep slumber.

By the jolt of his body and a slight moan I guessed it worked. As I looked Bill over, his hair was slightly disheveled and his eyes were droopy from lack of sleep. The bags under his eyes looked like a bee sting and all I could do was giggle at the sight.

Bill's eyebrow lifted in question and my giggling turned into laughter.

"That look suits you, sir," I spoke as seriously as possible. Bill ran his hand over his hair and face, immediately realizing what I was going on about. He smirked and proceeded to tackle me to the soft, moist ground below us.

We rolled around, laughing hysterically and probably causing a huge scene. He landed on top of me and ticked the day lights out of my. Laughter erupted from my mouth like a hurricane. Gosh, I haven't had this much fun since... since...

"You know Lexie, we haven't spent this much alone time together since... well gosh I can't even remember when!" John chuckled. I cuddled close into him and smiled brightly.

"I know, and I'm loving every second with you John," I mumbled into his shirt. I inhaled the scent of meadows and sunlight. God, I was in love with this man and he didn't even know how much. I caressed the cold shiny gold ring around my finger and smile vibrantly.

John saw this and thought it would be funny to push my on the ground and tickle me. We rolled down the grassy hill until we reached the creek where he layed on top of me. I gazed deep into his eyes and tried to pull him as close to me as I possibly could.

"I don't think God could even understand how much I love you Alexandria Wilkes..." John whispered into my ear. I shivered involuntarily and sent him a seductive smirk.

"I love you more then YOU could ever fathom John Hall..." I mumbled sweetly to him. His eyes sparkled and I could feel the pure love and want glowing off of him.

"Never leave me my dear..." John begged. His lips drew nearer to mine and I was falling into pure ecstasy.

"Never..." My voice broke as his lips covered mine in a burning passion that only true lovers could produce. I love you... John...

My eyes flew open as I felt a calloused hand stoke my fair cheek. The vision of John lifted and Bill's face replaced his gentle eyes. My face wrinkled in confusion and my lips parted as I wanted to cry out in pain.

"Alex?..." Bill said so tenderly. I shook John from my thoughts and gently pushed Bill away from me and pulled myself off the ground, leaving Bill confused on the dirt below. His Body was facing me, his elbow on his raised knee and his eyebrow lifted. I could tell he was trying to read my mind just as I was merely hours before.

I shook my head as a single brilliant tear fell from my blue eyes and fell to the green grass below my feet. "I'm sorry Bill, I just can't. Not now... Not after what just happened mere hours ago..." I finished with a new found strength that I didn't even know I had inside of me.

Bill's mouth opened as if he was going to say something but then in an instant he closed it once more. He gave me a swift nod then pulled himself off the ground and dusted off his pants and hands.

"I understand. Take all the time you need, Alex. I'll be waiting there at the end of the lighted road for you..." Bill said with all the love I bet he could muster in this war, picked up his rifle, then left.

I'll be waiting for you...

Oh John, why'd you have to leave me?

Never leave me...

John... Why are you making me fight this war alone?

I love you...

I'll always love you... But why did you have to go so soon?

AN: Yay! I finished this chapter! Yeah, I know, it's a little short. There wasn't much action or stuff going on but I felt that it was needed to move on with the story. The next chapter will hopefully be up soon, don't worry!

Review Replies:

FireIsLove: Yeah, I'm thinking more Bill too, but you never know. That could totally change in other chapters haha. I hope this chapter was posted soon enough and was good enough for ya! Thank you so much for your review, it was greatly appreciated!

ruthie-r89: I love Babe! He's so under-appreciated! I actually know a really good Babe story if you want to read it, I'll send it to ya! I'm going towards Bill but that might change, who knows? ;D Yeah that chapter was really depressing but it had to be done :/ I hope you liked this chapter! Thanks for the constant reviews! You're amazing!

EmmyMK: Thanks! I hope this chapter was good as well! Thank you so much for the review, you're amazing!

So, yeah. Again, sorry for the short chapter! Um, if any you have watched and enjoyed the movie "Newsies" I just started a new story on here about that, so read at you're own free will! Thanks for the reviews, subscriptions, and alerts! You guys are amazing! I'll update soon! Much Love - Jenna