Author's Notes: Hey! I'm SO sorry it took this long to update! Nevertheless, thanks for following and liking this story. :) See you next chapter, I hope! And tell me what you think of it.

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A Dream

Chapter 5. Sorrow

After a few minutes of staring into the void in silence, blood dripping down his mouth, Izaya got up, leaning on the cold brick wall behind him with his two hands. He sighed, then walked a few steps before wiping off the blood from his mouth and chin. He looked at it in pure disgust and awe. Who'd have thought the great and Godly Izaya would bleed one day? And it even was because of Shizu-chan... He chuckled at the thought, then dragged himself to his office, limping, and his arms dangling. His body was sore and wounded due to the hard fall and Shizu-chan's stop sign strike.

'Stupid thoughts of love... Hehe...That I'll never get... Hmm..I'm so unlucky. I won't think about such things again. No! Never! They drove me to my humiliation...Idiot Shizu-chan... Why did you let me live?'

Not only his whole body was hurt, but his soul was even more... He didn't cry; not one tear ran down his face. He didn't even sob as he entered his office... No. Instead, he just felt the heavy and almost unbearable weight of sorrow on his shoulders. It was as if an anvil was crushing him with all its strength, and this, non-stop... So, he just dragged himself along to the bathroom, feeling this unpleasant rock of pain and sadness in his guts. He stared at himself in the mirror and showed he despised what he saw with a grimace of disgust; his lips and chin were bloodied, he looked tired and shocked, and simply...as if he'd come from another planet or something. He leaned on the white sink, sighing, before grabbing the hand towel and wet it under the faucets' water. Izaya roughly used it wipe away the blood on his face... And still, no tears, no nothing... He threw the bloodied hand towel in the sink, then walked out of the bathroom.

It wasn't that he didn't feel like crying; oh no! Because believe it or not...his emotions were for sure heading that way. No... It simply was that he couldn't. He just couldn't! All he was able to do was roam about helplessly in his apartment, staring into the void for it was as if his eyes were sore of seeing and his heart of feeling. Humiliation, pain, sadness, confusion, love and hatred were buzzing in his mind.

But then, as a certain image of how Shizuo had turned his back on him and let him go surfaced... His eyes widened and he chuckled for a good moment. Maybe, just maybe, Shizuo was experiencing some... troubles... too. But then he remembered just how much of a brute the blonde was, and realized he probably didn't feel anything much towards him than hatred, and despise. What had happened earlier was simply a moment of weakness from the man, surely telling himself that killing someone, no matter who that person was, was bad... So, Izaya sighed, and gulped before dragging himself along to the computer.

Izaya wasn't actually in the mood to talk, nor to be in front of a pc screen, but he figured he had nothing better to do; Well, if focusing on the several unpleasant feelings tormenting him within was better to do, he'd be doing it by now... He sat in his black chair, shifting so he'd be comfortable, then turned the computer on. He couldn't help but still feel squashed from the heaviness of his sorrow, and from the love that'll never be returned...He intertwined his fingers, but then the Windows' typical melody was heard, and he leant over his keyboard, typing in the Dollars' Website in the address bar.

A smirk carved its way on his face as he entered the chatroom, eyes a little bit lit up with ephemeral glee that was sure to be wiped out as soon as the feelings'd alert the brain again with a pain in the chest.

[Kanra-chan logged in.]

Perhaps a little chitchat with someone foreign to what was happening in his personal life could help taking his mind off those disturbing matters...His worst one : Shizuo, of course. Who else but that lovely beast? Well, he wasn't all so lovely, but to Izaya, he was special...more special than anyone. Though, the monster hadn't yet been informed of it.

Izaya frowned slightly; there was only one person in the chatroom, this Quiet Hero something. It was odd. Usually, there were more people...Oh well, nothing could be worse nor more confusing than today, he thought before typing in a greeting.

[Kanra-chan : Heyyyyy~ ]

The black-haired lad loved introducing himself on the Internet as a woman; it was funny he reckoned. It was even easier to extract information from people in order to sell them to others when impersonating a charming, and seemingly innocent girl. Plus, it brought him protection, and efficacy at concealing his true identity.

[Quiet Hero: Hey.]

"Oh wow! A bit more and he's talkative..." he thought mockingly.

Despite all of his negative feelings, he forced himself to type a joyous reply. He mustn't blow his cover. Plus, this conversation may relax him...

[Kanra-chan : Oooohh! Cat's got your tongue? Haha!]

A while passed before an answer appeared. Izaya had almost given up all hope, which startled him a bit when he heard the clear "ding!" from his computer. He gasped, then read.

[Quiet Hero : No.]

Izaya frowned. This guy sure wasn't talkative... Then, why was he online?

"Pffff, probably one of those dimwitted people; there are so many scattered around the world!" he thought, chuckling, trying to barricade his bad feelings somewhere in his heart until he'll have time to only focus on them, which meant when he was going to go to bed... And trust him, he wasn't eager to.

[Quiet Hero : It's because...I...I had quite a peculiar day.]

[Kanra-chan : Huh?]

"Kanra-chan" now had his eyes wide opened, staring at the screen at a few centimeters from it only.

[Kanra-chan : Tell me about it. I'm here to listen, and giggle. How was it? What happened? I had a weird day too...and I still do.]

Rule number 1 : Make the other person feel safe with you. Rule number 2 : Act cute and caring (though, in this case, he was somewhat really interesting. Because admit it, wasn't it strange that he had an odd day, and there was only one other person in the chatroom, and he had had a weird day too? Izaya thought so.). Rule number 3 : Sympathize with the other person by stating a few of your things too, but not too many as to give you away. Mostly not on the Internet. What a mistake! And he was certain (don't ask him how; it was as if he felt it...as if he already was intrigued with the other person) that "Quiet Hero"'d make that particular mistake...

[Quiet Hero : Well...Let's just say I...hate someone. But today I...]

[Kanra-chan : Today you what...?]

[Quiet Hero : ... No, nothing. It's probably boring you. So, how was YOUR day?]

Izaya bit his lips not too softly. He didn't know what to really answer. After a few seconds, he guessed it couldn't hurt to tell the truth for once, seeing how he was chatting with a stranger, anyways...He sighed loudly, passed a hand through his dark hair, and chuckled at his own carelessness as he typed in an appropriate answer. He was so overwhelmed by everything that had happened to him recently, taking his own broken feelings in account as well, that he didn't think the consequences of it through enough. Unlike usually...

[Kanra-chan : Well, there's this guy, you know... I kind of.. He's great, but he doesn't know it. I do. And we're usually playing cat and mouse, it's fun. But it's an extreme cat and mouse... And today, it looks like...]

[Quiet Hero : It looks like WHAT?]

Izaya raised an eyebrow, realizing he was getting annoyed by the other's roughness, but it also reminded me of someone... He groaned as he felt a physical pain in his chest at this thought. No, it simply couldn't be. Was Shizuo clever enough to use the Internet? Izaya knew that, despite everything he called him, he indeed was... But, he shook away that thought, and concentrated on writing his reply.

[Kanra-chan : Well, it looks like today he made his worst mistake. Hehe, isn't that weird? I thought he'd...do it without mercy. Guess I was wrong, but I still wonder why he did it...]

[Quiet Hero : Did WHAT? TELL ME!]

[Kanra-chan : ...I'm not sure if I should tell you. This is quite a secret. What? Are you interested? Haha! And why are you so...urging? Almost as if you were violent...]

[Quiet Hero : Have you seen my username? Take a look at it. I can't be that violent, right?...Right. Anyways, yes, I am interested. It's because...I think I know what happened.]

[Kanra-chan : Oh! You do? O_O And what was it, then? Prove it, genius...! Haha.]

[Quiet Hero : He let you live, right?]

[Kanra-chan : ...O_O! No! That can't be!]

[Quiet Hero : Hi Izaya dead fish'eyes. Bye, you fucking flea! That mistake won't happen again! TRUST ME!]

[Quiet Hero logged off.]

[Kanra-chan : ...]

[Kanra-chan obviously logged off not long after this.]