Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. I'm just playing with them for awhile. I also do not own any of the quotes I use at the start of each chapter. They were all found on the internet, and if they have an author I say who it is.

Author's Notes: Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed; I've been having fun with finally getting to write RenRuk. Sorry to those waiting for the next chapter of "Ghost Within Your Eyes," but the one-shot "At Night" was enough angst that I had to write something happy. Oh, and don't let the start confuse you. No, you did not miss a chapter. No, I did not post the wrong chapter. Just give it a bit. So, now, the chapter everyone has been waiting for…

The One I Waited For

By Lady Callista

Chapter 3: To Admit It

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"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains children, it's blood-blood screaming inside you to work it's will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it." Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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"I'm gonna have a permanent crick in my neck."

Rukia giggled as his hands found her waist, easily lifting her up to sit on his kitchen counter. Her hands slid around his neck, pulling the tie from his hair and running her fingers through it. "You're too tall."

"Nah, you're just a midget." Renji chuckled as he moved to stand between her legs, his hands sliding down to her hips as he swallowed her rude comeback with a deep kiss.

"Renji…" Rukia moaned his name when they broke for air, resting her forehead on his shoulder as she gasped for breath.

His hands trailed up from her hips, one moving up her back to pull her closer while the other played with her short cap of hair. Her hands slid down from his neck, trailing over his naked chest, and when she purposely brushed his nipples it was his turn to moan even as he pulled her off the counter and into his arms.

Rukia gasped as he pulled her to him, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. As their cores brushed she could feel her breath hitch. "Ah, gods, Renji…"

They both groaned at the knock on the door.

"Oi… Renji…."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"RENJI!"

The Rukia in his arms melted away, and with a gasp Renji awoke alone in his bed.

"RENJI!"

"What the…" Confused and disoriented, Renji brought both hands up to his face for a moment as he tried to resign himself to the fact that it had only been a dream. Yet another dream about her. His Rukia… finally in his arms…

And then he realized there was actually someone at his door.

"Oi, hold your horses!" Renji called out, grabbing a yukata from the floor and pulling it on, trying to calm his body down as he recognized the voice on the other side of his front door. Matsumoto Rangiku would make way too many jokes if he answered the door with a hard-on.

He was calm enough once he opened the door that he didn't think she would notice, yet almost panicked when her first reaction was to start giggling.

"Sleeping late?" Rangiku laughed as she stood in the doorway, reaching out to try unsuccessfully to smooth down his bed-hair. Half of it was braided, but it was obvious he had been tossing and turning all night from the amount of hair that had fallen out of the braid and was currently a tangled mess.

Relaxing once he realized she was only laughing at his hair, Renji allowed himself a chuckle, hoping she wouldn't get suspicious. "Ah, I guess so. Do you mind if we just skip training today?"

Rangiku laughed again at his sleep-roughened voice. "Nah, that's fine. Go out drinking last night?"

He hadn't, but that was the best explanation, as everyone knew he never slept late. His traitorous mind flashed back to his dreams. "Uh, let's just say it was a fun night."

And it had been, until he had been woken up.

Rangiku grinned knowingly for a second as he glanced off to the side and adjusted his yukata self-consciously. She made sure her face was back to her normal happy mask before he turned back to her as she asked, "Tomorrow? Normal time?"

Renji nodded. "Sounds good."

She strolled away with a little wave, and Renji sighed in relief as he shut the door, heading straight into the kitchen for his morning cup of tea.

He stared wistfully at the counter next to the stove for a long moment, where in his dreams Rukia had just been. Then he sighed, told himself to get real, and started preparing both tea and breakfast.

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Rukia brushed some hair out of her eyes, mumbling to herself as she approached the juubantai practice field. She had been dreaming about Renji again, which had resulted in a very un-restful night. It had also left her really wanting to see him.

She had tried to tell herself she was just popping by to see how Rangiku's training with him was going; after all she knew her friend was training for bankai, and it would be supportive of her to watch. Maybe to offer advice, if she had any. Not that she really knew about bankai, having never tried to gain it herself, but she knew about training in general. Despite not even being a seated officer, she had a reputation among her division for having a really good eye, and a way with teaching. Other Shinigami were always asking her to train with them, or to help them perfect moves they were having difficulty with.

She had managed to tell herself, for about half of the walk to the practice field, that she was just going to watch the training. To help her friend.

Halfway there though, one of her dreams from the night before had flashed through her head, and she had realized lying to herself was not only pointless, but stupid and cowardly. She would never admit it to anyone else, but she was going to watch Renji fight.

Because he was magnificent when he fought.

She loved watching the joking and swaggering boy he still often acted like melt away when he faced a challenging opponent. There was a strength and passion in his eyes and face that he didn't have at other times, and the way his reiatsu would pulse and heat often took her breath away. One of her recurring dreams was, even for a minute, to have all that intensity and strength focused on her.

Lost in thoughts that created a warm feeling deep within her, she had actually stepped onto the practice field before it registered in her mind that Renji was not there.

Rangiku stood on the field alone, Haineko released in shikai as she practiced directing the ash with just her mind, instead of using the hilt like she normally did.

Taking a page out of Byakuya's book, Rukia mused as she stood watching for a moment, not wanting to disrupt her friend's concentration. Not using the hilt to direct the movements gave Rangiku as advantage, for it gave her opponent no warning of where attacks were coming from. But until she grew more powerful, and more used to controlling it, it was a lot slower.

"What do you think?" Rangiku called out suddenly.

"It's slower than when you use the hilt." Knowing her friend would respect an honest answer, Rukia said what she had been thinking. "But your opponent has no warning of what you're doing. At this point, it kinda balances out, so I would say it would depend on who you were fighting as to which way is better."

"Yeah, that's what Renji said yesterday." Rangiku confirmed as she called the ash back into katana form and sheathed the sword, using her pink scarf to wipe a bit of sweat from her brow. "Although controlling it with my mind takes more concentration, and sometimes it makes me miss other things, so I can only use it one-on-one."

Rukia nodded, and took the opening to ask, "Where is Renji? I thought I would find you two training."

"He didn't feel like training this morning." Rangiku replied as she walked towards Rukia, grabbing up a water bottle from the ground along the way and drinking deeply. "I don't think he was drinking last night, but he seemed really tired this morning. I hope he's not getting sick or something. I was going to go back and check on him when I was done training."

Not noticing the gleam in her friend's eyes, Rukia sighed. "I'll check on him. I wanted to see him anyway."

"Why?" Rangiku asked innocently, pretending not to notice when her friend's cheeks pinked slightly.

"Ah, not for anything in particular, I guess." Rukia hedged as she started to back away. "Just, ah… I'll see you around, okay?"

Rangiku chuckled to herself as her friend hurried away. And hoped that Renji had decided to have a cup or two of the tea she had given him this morning. Wishing she could be a fly on the wall when the two were alone in his apartment, Rangiku allowed herself another chuckle, and another deep drink of water, before she pulled her zanpakuto out of its sheath again. "Growl, Haineko."

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Moments later, Rukia knocked on the door to Renji's rooms in the barracks.

"Just a second."

Wiping suddenly damp palms on her hakama, Rukia shifted from one foot to the other as she waited for the door to open, trying to think of what she wanted to say. 'I've been having sexy dreams about you,' while the truth, was not what she wanted coming out of her mouth.

It was nearly thirty seconds before the door opened, not that she was counting or anything, and when it did open the words she had come up with flew out of her head. She could do nothing but stare.

Renji wore nothing but a yukata, tied loosely enough that most of his chest was showing. Even as she stared, a few drops of water trailed down his chest, which drew her attention upwards to his long hair, still dripping wet from the shower he had obviously just finished, and looking shades darker than normal.

Rukia's hands fisted in her hakama before she could reach out to touch him.

"Rukia, what's up?"

His voice was casual and friendly, and she thanked all the gods that he hadn't seemed to notice her distraction. He motioned for her to come in, and she did so after a brief hesitation, glad of the distraction of having to bend down and remove her waraji.

"Oh, nothing much." Rukia tried to make her voice as casual as his was even as she tried to get the image of him out of her head. He had appeared almost exactly like this in one of her dreams, and the urge to slid her hands under the sides of the yukata, to run her hands over his smooth, hard chest, to… Rukia took a deep breath. "Rangiku mentioned you didn't seem to be feeling well this morning, so I just thought I'd stop by and check on you, but you, um… you look good, I mean, fine, uh, I…"

"Uhh, yeah, I just…" Renji cut her off as she began to babble, but then didn't know what to say himself. After removing her sandals, she had remained standing in the entryway, her gaze firmly fixed on the floor. "Had a slow morning I guess, I mean I just finished showering, and…"

Realizing abruptly why she wasn't looking at him, Renji tugged the yukata closed over his chest, tightening the knot and trying to brush his sopping wet hair out of his face. "Sorry, uh… I'm fine. Just didn't sleep well I guess."

Rukia risked glancing up at his face, both relieved and disappointed to find him more decently clothed. "I've been having problems with that myself."

"Well, you know what Ran-chan would say about that." Renji tried for a joking voice, yet his words came out slightly choked. The morning sunlight was filtering through the window beside the door, and when her face had caught in the light he had almost lost his entire train of thought. She wasn't a classic beauty, she never had been, but there was just something about her face, and the intensity in her eyes, that had always left him breathless if he let himself think about her too much.

"That we need to drink more at night?" Rukia tried for a light tone as well, hands still grasping her hakama. She tilted her head to the side, trying for a smile. She had to keep talking, to keep things light and friendly between them. Because she would only embarrass herself, and him, if she tried for anything more.

"Exactly." Renji forced a grin, reaching out a hand to ruffle her hair. It was an old gesture, stemming from when they were children and it had annoyed her, yet this time his hand lingered a few seconds longer, stroking down the side of her hair gently, as he had done so many times in his dreams yet never in real life.

Her eyes widened, and she whispered his name hesitantly, unable to look away from him. There was a heat in his eyes, just a shadow of it, but it was exactly the same look she had seen twice before. Once when they were about to leave Rukongai to become Shinigami, and she had sworn he was going to kiss her. And again when he had been saving her from execution, and sworn to her he would never put her down.

Renji took a deep breath, breaking eye contact as he ran a hand through his hair, trying to give himself time to think. It was always difficult to think when he was alone with her, but for some reason he was having a lot more trouble than he normally did. He blamed the dreams, and how much he wanted them to be reality. He had been aching for her for days now, although the previous night had been particularly bad. And this morning it was worse than it had ever been. His entire body was tensed, and it was through willpower alone that he hadn't touched her again. That he hadn't done more.

But he didn't want to ruin their friendship. Didn't want her to have to let him down gently, have to tell him they would only ever be friends, and that she was really in love with Ichi…

An image of the two of them wrapped up in each other's arms popped into his head, and Renji felt a curse slip through his lips before he could stop it. He also felt both anger and jealousy stirring deep within him, and something else that might have been pain.

"Renji, what's wrong?" Rukia stepped closer to him, reaching out to put a hand on his arm.

Renji saw her hand coming and jerked back, his anger flaring irrationally. "I'm fine, okay? I said I was fine, so just leave me alone, okay?" His voice was harsh, but he was afraid that if he wasn't angry with her, if he didn't push her away, he would do something even worse. Like kiss her.

Rukia's anger flashed to life in return. He had always had that effect on her. "What do you mean, leave you alone? Something's obviously wrong, you jerk, so just tell me, and…"

"Look, I said I didn't sleep well." Renji shot back, suddenly realizing that maybe starting a fight with her hadn't been the best idea. Her eyes always got so hot when they were arguing, and her entire body would start to vibrate, and…

"It's obviously more than that, and…"

"Look, midget…"

"Midget?" Rukia fumed at him, stomping up the one-step from his entryway into the main room to put herself within a few inches of his height. "Look, just tell me what's wrong, and…"

"Just go away; you need to get out of here, before…"

"Before what?" Anger surging through her, Rukia rose up onto her toes, hands coming to rest harshly on his shoulders. She glared at him from inches away. "What are you gonna do?"

Renji reached out, intending to grab her shoulders in return and shake her. But the instant he touched her, the instant his hands gripped her shoulders, that intention flew right out the window. So did every other rational thought in his head.

And with nothing but his heart speaking to him, Renji yanked her those last few inches and captured her lips with his own.

She trembled, and Renji felt the few remaining shreds of his control snap.

His hands slid off of her shoulders and down her back, pulling her body up flush against his own even as he deepened the kiss.

She tasted like spring water, like that first cold and clear sip after a long hot workout, when it was the most wonderful taste in the world. And she smelled like jasmine, a scent he knew she only wore when one of the Kuchiki maids sprayed her with it before she could evade.

Her body had tensed like a spring when he had first kissed her, but even as the kiss spun out he felt her go pliant in his arms. And feeling her tremble for the second time, Renji slid a hand up to cup her face, intending to gentle the kiss.

And jerked back, shock and shame flooding into him, as he felt a wetness on her cheeks that could be nothing but tears.

"I… Oh, gods, I'm sorry… I…" Renji released her at once, bracing one hand on the wall as he tried to regain his breath. As he berated himself for ruining their friendship.

"Renji…" Her voice was soft, and her breathing as harsh as his, but not even a hint of anger remained in her voice. "Why are you sorry?"

"You… you're crying. I feel like such an ass." Even now, Renji wanted to reach out to brush away the few tears that were still falling. But he didn't think his touch would be welcome. "I know you don't think of me that way, I… I mean, I know you love Ichigo, but…"

"WHAT?" Rukia's voice exploded out of her incredulously. "Why in the world would you think that I…"

"It's obvious when you're around him, I mean…"

"I love him, you're right, but… but not the way you mean. He's like a brother to me, Renji. Often times a younger, annoying brother, but…"

The shocked look in Renji's eyes, as well as the mix of both hope and obvious disbelief, caused Rukia to wipe at her cheeks in irritation even as she reached out to run her fingers lightly over the tattoos on his chest, something she had wanted to do for a very long time. "I've been in love with you since we were kids, you idiot."

Renji could only recall one other time in his life that he had been this shocked, and that was when a fifteen-year-old human had come blazing into Soul Society and beaten the shit out of him. "You… really?"

Rukia let out an exasperated huff. "No, I said it just to screw with your head."

Renji glared at her, knowing she was being sarcastic but unable to believe the truth of her previous statement. "Then why the hell did you cry when I kissed you?"

"Because I was afraid it was just another dream." Rukia whispered, vulnerability showing in her voice for a second before it became brasher again, "But you're never this annoying in my dreams."

Renji let out a sound halfway between a chuckle and a groan even as he reached out and brushed the tears from her cheek. "I sure hope this isn't a dream, because I love you too, midget."

And with that he drew her into his arms again, and this time his kiss was soft and gentle.

THE END

AN2: I can almost picture Rangiku peeking in the window, smirking, while singing "Matchmaker" and patting herself on the back. Sorry this part took a bit to come out, but I was trying to write it as a sweet, romantic confession, and it just never sounded right. And then I realized why as I was trying to pick a quote for the chapter and found the one from Buffy. Cause sweet and romantic is not how it would happen. At least I don't think so. I think it would be much more like what I wrote. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this part; reviews are greatly appreciated.