I do not own any of the characters. They belong to DC Comics. "Alice in Wonderland" belongs to Lewis Carroll. This was written purely for fun.

It had been an innocent question. Just six words strung together in an inquisitive manner. He hadn't expected the answer he was given.

Jonathan Crane had finished up his work for the time being and went to seek out his guest, who had decided to drop by an hour or two ago. That time had passed in silence, which was vaguely strange, considering just who his guest was.

The Scarecrow found the Mad Hatter on the sofa in the main area of his hideout. The tea-loving man was sitting in a very relaxed position, his arms crossed loosely over his chest and his head bowed. His infamous top hat was resting on the cushion next to him. Jonathan noticed his eyes were closed, but knew that the Englishman wasn't sleeping. He was off daydreaming again, swept away into a world of fantasy.

Jonathan studied the blond man for a moment longer. "What's it like there?" he asked.

Jervis Tetch opened his blue eyes and blinked before he glanced over at the auburn-haired man standing across the room. An eyebrow lifted and he gave his friend a questioning stare.

"…in Wonderland?" Jonathan elaborated. Jervis spent so much time in his head; one was bound to become curious just where the Mad Hatter spent said time.

Jervis shrugged casually. "I could show you if you'd like," he replied nonchalantly.

That was not the answer Jonathan had expected. He felt his eyes widen slightly. He had expected the Englishman to begin raving about all things Carroll and of Alice in her many adventures. He most certainly didn't expect an invitation to see for himself. "Wha—?"

An enormous grin quickly spread across the Hatter's face. "Yes!" he exclaimed as he straightened on the sofa. "I could take you there!" His hands balled up in excitement and he jumped to his feet. He faced the startled Scarecrow in a fit of energy. "What a frabjous idea! I could guide you around Wonderland, Jonathan! Oh, the fun we'll have! You'll get to meet Cheshire Puss and the Dodo! The Duchess and the Queen of Hearts!" He was practically bouncing with excitement.

As Jervis continued ranting about all the adventures they'd have, Jonathan tried to decline the offer with little success. For starters, he didn't want to do any of the stuff Jervis was listing off. Secondly, he wasn't sure how Jervis in his twisted mind thought he was going to whisk Jonathan away into one of his daydreams. "Jervis, calm down," he said.

"…and then have a Caucus-race, and then—"

"Jervis," Jonathan repeated firmly. The ecstatic blond man finally stopped talking to stare at the Scarecrow. He still looked beyond enthusiastic. "Jervis, I don't want to go to Wonderland."

The blond man's grin faltered. "But you asked," Jervis said in a half-disappointed tone, his shoulders slumping. All of that energy from a few seconds ago vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.

"No," Crane insisted, as if he was speaking to a child, "I asked what it was like."

"And I said I could show you," Jervis pressed. A small smile returned to his face. "It'd be much easier to show you than to explain it."

Crane knew he would regret this, but he couldn't keep his curiosity at bay. "And how would you manage to show me one of your daydreams?" He felt absurd just for asking such a ridiculous question.

The smile widened into a grin as he reached into his sleeve.

When he pulled out one of his mind-control circuitry cards, Jonathan instantly began shaking his head. "Absolutely not."

"Oh, come now, Jonathan," Jervis pleaded. "I've told the March Hare all about you; I know he'd just love to meet you."

"I am not going to willingly let you control my mind, Jervis," Jonathan shot back in outright refusal.

"But I wouldn't be controlling your mind!" Jervis explained hurriedly. "You'd be in complete control of yourself. I'll only have control of the environment." He started to fiddle with the circuitry card in his hands. "Do you honestly think I'd card you with the intention of controlling you?"

"You certainly wouldn't ask first," Jonathan retorted dryly.

"Precisely!" Jervis exclaimed, oblivious to the Scarecrow's comment. He gave his friend a pleading look. "Please, Jonathan? No need to be worried. I do this rather regularly on myself."

'That's hardly reassuring,' Jonathan thought to himself, but held his tongue. He felt his mouth draw back in a frown at Jervis's pleading stare. He knew he'd never hear the end of it if he didn't let Jervis do this. He might as well spare himself the headache. Still, the thought of putting his mind in Jervis's hands made him anxious.

Jervis saw his friend's concerns written all over his face. "I'll stop as soon as you give the word. I promise," he said sincerely. "Let me at least show you a little bit of Wonderland. Please?"

He wasn't sure what he was thinking or what possessed him in that moment. Jonathan's shoulders slumped as a sigh escaped from him. "I'm going to hold you to that promise," he said at length.

The grin that appeared on the Hatter's face could have easily rivaled the Cheshire Cat's. "You won't regret this!" he declared cheerfully.

'Then why am I already regretting this?' Jonathan thought with a disheartened sigh. If anything, this was going to be interesting; there would be no denying that.

Jervis scooped up his hat in a graceful twirl and placed it atop his head. He began waving at the armchair to Crane's left. "Go ahead and sit down and get relaxed," he said giddily. As Jonathan slowly moved toward the chair, Jervis bought the mind-control card up to his face to study it. "Now, this may be a little jarring at first, but I assure you, you'll be fine. It will almost feel like a lucid dream."

"And I will have complete control of myself?" Jonathan pressed as he sat down.

"Of course," Jervis reassured him with a smile. He twirled the piece of technology in his fingers as he watched Jonathan get comfortable. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Jonathan grumbled.

"Good. Close your eyes." As Crane reluctantly did as instructed, Jervis approached the armchair. "Meet you in Wonderland," he said before he slipped the card behind Jonathan's ear.

A/N: This is something fun I'm working on while I try to figure out what I'm doing with the next chapter of "Welcome to Arkham." I already have plans made for a little further on...but I just need to figure out what to do with this next blasted chapter!

Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to get Jonathan Crane's reaction to things in Wonderland. Expect some strange things and an adventure between two unlikely friends. This is going to be fun.

Feedback is always welcome. Thanks for reading!