Disclaimer: I own nothing.

And I know that I'm playing around with timelines, here, but I kind of need to...you'll see.

Here it goes!

Magazines and Muscle Shirts

"Oh, look!" Megan squeaks, passing Artemis the most recent copy of Gotham Times. Dick preemptively winces-oh, no, don't look at that, don't look at THAT...

"Gotham's Best Boys: Bruce Wayne's Four Adoptees?" Artemis asks loudly, making Dick go completely bright red. Wally grins at his best friend's discomfort and remembers how much Jason, Tim, and Damian had protested at the photoshoot, alongside Dick...Bruce was still unimpressed. "Inside the Lives of the Mary Lennox Stories?"

Dick groans loudly and drops his forehead to his laptop. Kaldur shoots him a curious look, but Wally just starts to laugh louder.

"Richard Grayson, Jason Todd, Timothy Drake, and Damian Wyatt discuss the aspects of their lives exclusively with Gotham Times reporter Marley Wattson," Artemis continues, flipping through the pages. "Oh...Megan, that is the picture of human perfection," she giggles, pointing to one of the pictures from the Wayne story. Dick turns a new color of red undiscovered by mankind and Wally's shrieking with laughter, clutching his stomach.

"Oh?" Megan looks carefully. "Why are they all wearing those shirts to jump into the pool?"

"It's called a muscle shirt. They're probably wearing them to keep the sun off. No wonder they're so pale, but mm-mm, you can completely see Richard Grayson's abs through that thing."

Dick covers his face with both of his hands. Kaldur and Conner look at him and the crying-laughing Wally with completely baffled looks.

"Doesn't Richard go to your school?"

"Oh, yes he does. And he's single. Like, no strings attached."

Dick groans softly and wonders why Artemis got a scholarship to Gotham Academy but Bruce couldn't fanagle Babs in.

"What's wrong, Robin?" Megan asks concernedly. Wally stands up and bends over, cramping. "Wally?"

"Dude-so-callin' Roy," he gasps out, zipping out of the room.

"Walllyyyy!" Dick whines, but doesn't make a move to stop him. He's learned a long time ago to just do damage control when it comes to Wally.

Artemis is still eying Dick's and his adoptive brothers' group picture jumping into the Wayne pool behind the Manor. Megan drifts back over and gently touches the page. "Richard has rather stunning eyes, doesn't he? Blue, but not like Conner's...they're darker."

Conner blushes. Dick's blush is becoming purple.

"Absolutely beautiful. A girl could easy fall in love with a boy like that," Artemis giggles. "Smart, good-looking, wealthy-"

"Shouldn't you like him for his personality?" Dick asks sharply, still tomato red.

Artemis waves him off. "Welcome to girls, Rob. We fall in love with a picture and deal with the personality later."

Conner looks between them confusedly. "What?"

Dick hides his face again. Kaldur gently questions, "Are you alright?"

He shakes his head and wishes he could make his feet move. Artemis and Megan are still giggling over his brothers' and him, and he wishes he could take that magazine and throw it in the shredder without looking suspicious.

"Look at this," Megan points and reads, "Bruce Wayne has already set up the adoption process for Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown, half-sisters who will no doubt experience the same Mary Lennox story as Gotham's Best Boys."

Artemis giggles loudly. "Those girls are in for a nii-ii-iice time. Wish Mr. Wayne would adopt me."

Dick explodes. "Cass and Steph are nothing like that! They're, like, eight anyways! And Bruce only goes for the weird cases!"

The four in the room stare at him with completely shocked expressions. Dick pales as he realizes what he's possibly done.

"Are you-"

"No." Dick immediately brings up the lie. "But I work with all of them. I've met Cass and Steph. I know Bruce Wayne. Just...don't...don't talk about them like that, Artemis. Especially Richard. I'm a good friend of his-I've saved the guy enough times-and it's...awkward to hear that, okay? Just...don't talk about the Waynes."

Artemis narrows her eyes suspiciously, but Conner and Megan easily accept the lie. Kaldur silently nods, but he, too, sees through his ruse.

Wally zips back in, still red-faced from laughing. Dick tries to make his blush go down, but when the others are distracted and Wally leans forwards and whispers, "So, want me to set Arty up on a blind date with you?" he goes red.

Bright red.

"Robin."

Oh, no, Bruce, go back, go BACK.

The others jump, but Dick just stares pleadingly at him, wanting him to retreat so he doesn't see his bright red cheeks. Bruce's eyebrows immediately furrow.

"Do you have a fever?" he comes forwards and presses the back of his hand to Dick's forehead, and Dick pulls away, grumbling unhappily. "Robin."

It's a warning, and Dick stares at Bruce meaningfully, waiting for the World's Greatest Detective to pick up on the real reason. He sees his mentor's eyes flicker with realization and gets a Batglare that hasn't worked in years.

"We're going home. Now." Bruce stalks into the transporter and Robin groans, shoving his computer into his bag before throwing it over his shoulder and rushing after him. The others call good-bye and Dick gives them a quick 'see ya' before disappearing into the garage. He stumbles into the Batmobile and waits worriedly for the lecture.

"What. Happened?" Bruce asks lowly, knuckles white against the wheel.

Dick shakes his head and buries his head in his hands. He feels Bruce soften and Bruce asks, much more gently, "What's wrong, Dick? What happened?"

"That stupid magazine article. Artemis and Megan were cooing over it," Dick finally grumbles, unwillingly. Bruce chuckles softly.

"You should love what Alfred has at home, then."

"What?"

Silence.

"Bruce, what?"

Nothing.

"BRU-UCE!"

Twenty minutes later Bruce and Dick climb up from the Batcave and flop onto the sofa in Bruce's office. Jason hops onto the cushion next to Dick while Tim takes his other side and Damian just plops down on top of him. All three are grinning much too broadly as Cass and Steph, already at home, race forwards to hug Bruce and giggle loudly.

"What?" Dick asks, puzzled.

"Master Dick?" Alfred requests from the doorway. Dick twists around in his seat, and his eyes grow huge. "These are for you, I do believe...from many...admirers."

Bruce, the boys, Cass, and Steph burst out laughing at Dick's face goes from his normal shade to brilliant red, staring at the three foot stack of letters Alfred is balancing on his arms, all addressed to Richard Grayson-Wayne, all dotted with little hearts.

"Oh my-"

"Master Dick, may I reccomend you end that with 'gosh', or I will wash your mouth out with soap."

"Sorry, Alfred."

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