So, I haven't written forever, and I'm SOOO SORRRY! School's started and my schedule has not been the greatest when it comes to having free time. But I hope you enjoy this bit!
Sookie woke the next day with the same thoughts going through her head. Did she love Eric? She knew that she loved the Eric with no recollection of who he was, but what about this Eric? Could he be the same person, just with a mask up to cover his vulnerable side? Maybe. She'll have to figure it out the next time he decided to fly in. Ha.
Going through her day in a bit of a haze, Sookie had to go and work the lunch shift at Merlottes. Well at least Eric couldn't pull the same move as yesterday and show up there, with his stupid overwhelming words. Yet, that also meant that he would have to show up at her house. Which was not very safe for things such as not touching. Maybe she should just give up and let him have his way with her. Or she could have her way with him. Either way, someone would have their way, and it would be mind blowing. Of course, she'd never admit that to Eric.
Going through her usual morning routine, Sookie had a shower, got dressed, applied some makeup, then proceeded downstairs to have some breakfast. Soon enough it was time to leave for work and for some reason she couldn't wait until it was over. Trying to convince herself it wasn't because Eric might be dropping in later, she got into her car and was on her way.
Later that day,
There was about a half hour left in Sookie's shift. Which was a little bit before sunset. It would be dark by the time she got home. Perfect. Eric would probably just show up and give her no time to get ready. Despite Sookie's thoughts of irritation, she couldn't help but be excited about the fact that Eric might be waiting for her. He would probably sense it, again, and start touching her, again.
Tick tock, went the clock. It seemed to be taking forever. Sookie tried to block out the thoughts of the people she was serving. Man, that blonde chick has a nice ass. Nice knockers too. I'd like to take her out behind the bar and..
She did the only thing she could think of to block out the nice words. She thought of Eric. Of the times that they had together. When he had been sweet and loving, yet still powerful. When he had offered to give up his whole life just to be with her. How he told her that he could love her, and how she realized that she could too. The thoughts of their first time together. How gentle, yet passionate, he had been with her. The nights that they spent after that. Which became their second time together, third, fourth, fifth, until eventually she lost count. She thought of his beautiful blue eyes that held her gaze well they had made love. His firm, wonderful hands that made her squirm. Sookie suddenly found herself getting hot. Ok, this was not what she wanted to happen. While trying to block out nasty thoughts of the guys in the bar, she ended up remembering nasty things that she and Eric had done together.
"You okay, cher?" Sam asked, pulling Sookie back into reality.
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine Sam." she answered, trying to convince herself more so than him.
"Well you're shift is pretty much over, why don't you head on home." Sam gave her a smile. She remembered when she used to think of Sam in a sexual way. Not anymore. She did consider him one of her best friends though. Sookie returned the heartfelt smile, muttered a quick "thanks" and headed out the door.
The sun would officially be down in 20 minutes or so. Sookie got into her car and raced home, hoping to beat that stupid Viking. Things would not go over well if he blocked her from getting into her own house. Things would probably start to heat up. He'd push her up against the door, kiss her in that way which made her toes curl. Then, he would proceed to use his magnificent hands. He would slip them under her shirt and find her breast, massage it gently. His other hand would go down south. His fingers would start to…
What am I doing? She thought. She was supposed to be thinking irritating thoughts about him. She wasn't supposed to be thinking up sexual fantasies that would take place on her door step. Shaking her head, she turned on her piece of crap radio and listened to some old tunes. Soon enough Sookie was at home, and the sun had just disappeared. She would need to hurry up if she didn't want her 'fantasy' to become reality. Because she didn't. Really. Well…maybe a little bit.
Stepping out of the car she headed for her front door, making sure to be quick. Almost there, she thought. Just a few more steps. Finally reaching the door, she grabbed for the doorknob. Grasped it. Ha! Victory! She beat the stupid Viking! Of course, she spoke too soon.
"Hello, lover. Did you miss me?" Eric purred. Fuck him, and his stupid beautiful voice. How does he do that? Sookie turned around, looking up at him. Sexy, as always.
"No. In fact, I was just going inside, so if you'll excuse me.." she turned around to reach for the doorknob. He wouldn't have that of course. He grabbed her, turning her around and pushing her against the door. He leaned against her. Bent down. Breathed her in. His breath sent shivers down her spine. Throughout her whole body actually. Damn him. Now it was impossible for her to get inside. Her fantasy that she denied was an actual fantasy, might come true after all.
"Hm.. I sense you're bullshitting me again, my lover." again, he purred. His lips were still down by Sookie's neck. Brushing them right were he used to bite her, she shivered yet again. Eric brought his lips up to her ear now.
"I know you missed me. Just as much as I missed you." he missed her? She seemed to be in the same position as yesterday. Trapped between him and a solid object. His arms running all up and down her body.
"I could sense you're arousal as soon as I rose." she could tell he was wearing his signature smirk when he said that. Thank God she couldn't see his face. She couldn't help but blush. Good thing he couldn't see her either. His hands seemed to have multiplied. They were everywhere. Touching her. It was too much to handle. She needed a moment. She pushed him. He growled.
"Lover. Is there something I'm missing here?" his eyes were locked on hers.
"I just…. I need a moment." to tell the truth, Sookie didn't much understand either. He said he missed her. They were both horny. But, there was something else. She hadn't slept with the 'real' Eric yet. What if he wasn't the same? She didn't know what to do…
She took a deep breath. Shake it off. That's what she needed to do. Figure out a plan. What did she really want? Well, she really wanted to let Eric have his way with her. Maybe that wasn't the right question to ask… What did she really need? That's a good question. Sookie needed to know what Eric wanted from her. Did he just want sex? Something told her that wasn't the case. She knew he felt something for her.. But was it love? Could Eric love? Exhale.
Eric was still staring intently at her. Probably trying to read what she was thinking. Sookie wondered what kind of emotions he was getting from her through the bond. Confusion probably. Love maybe. Did she love Eric though? Yes, her mind whispered. But what if he hurt her? More then last time. Because this time, if he left her he would still remember everything. If she let this happen… he could leave and hurt her twice as much. Somehow Sookie didn't think that her heart could take that. She needed to make him leave.
"Please, go." she said reluctantly. Eric looked quite taken aback, for a few seconds. She actually thought that she saw pain in his eyes. She never wanted to be the cause of that. But sure enough, Eric recovered and she wondered if she had just hallucinated it.
"Lover.. Can you explain what is wrong?" he asked, and he seemed to truly care about the answer.
"I just… I can't have you here right now." she knew it was a weak response but it was all she could think of.
"Sookie.. Something is troubling you. Please let me help. I can be a good listener sometimes." he replied with a smirk. "At least, for the people I care about. Which may I mention, are a rare few." her heart fluttered. There, he said it again. Eric cared about her.
"I just can't, Eric." she said, looking down at his feet now. She could feel tears coming. No way was she going to cry in front of him. Then he would never leave until he knew what was wrong. But then again, Sookie didn't believe he would ever leave without figuring it out.
"Can't what?" he pleaded. Sookie didn't stay anything. Maybe silence was the best answer.
"Damn it Sookie! How many times do I have to prove to you, that you can trust me?" He growled. Sookie snapped her head up, looking at him. He was angry. No, not angry.. More, frustrated. Why was this bugging him so much? Why did he have to care so much? Can't he just go away..
"But I can't trust you, Eric!" she said, and now it was him who was confused. Eric reached for her hand. Grasped it with his own. He looked…defeated.
"Lover… the only thing I can remember from when I stayed with you is.. That whatever happened.. Whatever we did, or didn't do for that matter. It was somehow one of the happiest times of my life. And I have lived a long life.." he broke eye contact. Quickly returned it.
"Why would you think you can't trust me? What happened when I was with you?" Sookie was bewildered. This was the vulnerable Eric. The one that had stayed with her after having had his memory erased. He was still there.
"Because! What if you break my heart again?" She yelled. A tear silently rolled down her cheek. "What if you realise it's not as good as you made it up to be!" The tears were rolling freely now. "What if you don't want me anymore?" she whispered, breaking eye contact. Eric was the bewildered one now.
"Don't want you?" he snarled it as if it was the most ridiculous idea known to man. "Don't want you? How can you even think that?" his eyes blazed at her.
"What do you mean by want though, Eric?" she questioned, wiping the tears away. "Do you just want me for sex?" Please say no, she thought.
"What do you think?" he was questioning her back. Sookie didn't like when Eric put her on the edge.
"I think that you should answer my question." she countered.
"You can be so stubborn, Sookie." he smirked. "I could have sex anytime I want to," jealousy coursed through her. "So why would I try so hard to get you, if all I wanted was that?" his eyes once again continued to search her face. "Even if it would be mind-blowing." he added. It had been mind blowing, Sookie thought.
There was a part of Sookie that greatly wanted to tell Eric about everything that happened. What he said to her. What she said to him. The whole story. But the other part of her didn't want to tell him. That was the scared part. What if he was terrified of that vulnerability and decided to cut and run? But didn't he just say that he didn't just want sex? For once Sookie wished that she could read his damn mind. Fucking vampires. Fucking tall, blonde haired, blue eyed, Viking Vampires.
"Lover," Eric purred, taking a step towards her. Oh no. Wasn't keeping far proximity the key? He was less than a foot away now. Reaching his hand out, her stroked her face with his fingertips, starting at her jaw line and ending up with his fingers holding her chin. "tell me." he murmured, begging with his eyes. The intensity was too strong. Sookie tried to look away, but he kept his hand tight on her chin making it impossible. The tears were coming again. She wanted to tell him so badly. The need to open up to him was too overwhelming, it was crushing her.
"Just don't leave until I'm finished okay? And… don't.. interrupt me. Let me tell you everything at once." This is best, she thought. I've kept it to myself all these months, it's time for him to know.