I woke up this morning with no intentions of working on this chapter. I only had about 600 words done on it, but I needed to spend the day working on school. Round about two this afternoon, a song came on the radio and the rest of the chapter suddenly took shape in my mind. My reduced grade is your bonus. Enjoy.

Much love and thanks to the eyes that make this readable for you all – my beta nails233, and pre-readers rathbonejunkie and AtHomeJo.

CHAPTER 7

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Three hours and a large loaded pizza later, Jake and I had fleshed out a new song, while reviewing the set list from the night before. Leah popped into the garage when she heard us playing, and we sought her input on the crowd's reactions. Once we'd worked out a tight set for New York, Jake and I dicked around with our guitars, while talking about the guys from his band.

Jake, Colin, and Lucas had been the core of Tribe since they'd formed four years earlier. Unfortunately, they'd had several singers revolve through the band, all too stupid to realize they'd locked onto a good thing if they could keep their shit together. Colin and I had gone to school together, but ran with different crowds back then. He was Leah's cousin; it'd been only natural Jake would ask him to join the group. Colin had brought Lucas with him. Before Tribe, they'd been doing the garage band thing, but nothing ever panned out.

Colin and Jake could have been brothers, they were so much alike. Both had the same drive and determination to go after something more. They even bore a striking resemblance to each other, though Jake's hair hung past his shoulders and Colin kept his cut in a short fauxhawk. While both played guitar, Colin's skills as a bassist were incomparable. His ability to tie down the low end, while still doubling up on some of the more complex riffs put him on par with some of the best in the business. More than once, he'd provided me with just the right hook I needed to tie together one of my own songs. We were pretty sure he'd be a lock.

Lucas was an odd fish. He and Colin had been friends since middle school, and had drifted in and out of numerous garage bands before Colin dragged him along for the ride with Tribe. I'd never understood their friendship. Introverted to the point of rudeness, Lucas hid behind a mop of dishwater blond hair that looked like it needed an oil change most of the time. The only time he ever came alive was when he played. The boy had a serious kit, damn well knew how to use it, but I never got the feeling that he wanted to stick with music for the long haul. Damn shame, too. Lucas had been playing drums since he could stand up, and could beat skins with enough talent to make John Bonham weep. Jake and I figured we'd make the offer to him, but neither of us held our breath that he'd want to come along for the ride. We picked through a few other guys we knew who might be able to take his place, narrowing it down to two - Emmett McCarty from Pentagon, and Seth Clearwater.

The first time I'd met Emmett, he'd intimidated the shit out of me. Standing nearly six and a half feet tall, built like a brick shithouse, and covered in tattoos, he looked like the last thing you'd want to run into in a dark alley. At heart, though, the guy was a big clown. He loved to pull practical jokes, and was indiscriminate about his targets. The night he TPed Marty's car, I figured he was either the bravest motherfucker in the world, or the stupidest one. Either way, we'd become sort of friends over the few years I'd known him.

Seth was Leah's kid brother, though he could have passed for her twin. They had the same long black hair, russet complexion, and piercing dark brown eyes that missed nothing. He'd sat in with us on a few jam sessions, picking shit up pretty fucking quick. Not only did he play drums, but he was fairly talented on keys, too. He'd only been sixteen when Tribe first formed, too young to play in the clubs, otherwise, he would've been playing with Jake a long time ago. Leah walked back out in the garage while we were talking about her brother, and made a suggestion neither Jake nor I had considered.

"You know, while Tribe never had a use for a keyboardist, you guys are gonna need one with Jazz's stuff." Lifting an inquisitive eyebrow, I waited for Leah to continue. "There's no way you can be everywhere at once. Laying it all down on tracks is one thing, but you aren't going to be able to pull off lead vocals, lead guitar, and keyboards all at one time. You're good, Jazz, but you're not a magician."

Nodding in agreement, I looked to Jake for comfirmation.

"Looks like we're gonna be calling Seth either way, then. You think he'll be interested?" Jake asked, peering up at his wife.

"I can't imagine any reason why he wouldn't be, and it's a good opportunity for him. Seth's a smart kid, but Mom and Dad can't afford college. This might be his only shot to make something of himself." Moving to stand behind her husband, Leah turned her attention my way, and asked, "What about the other thing, Jazz?"

She leaned on Jake's shoulder, reaching over to strum a couple chords on his axe. I hid a smile at the sight. Damn, they were so good together. While they may not have had the best of starts, they had built a decent life for themselves. What gave me the right to dick that up?

"I don't know, Lee . . . It might not hurt to just not bring it up." I fiddled with tuning my guitar, avoiding the piercing glare she leveled on me. Seeing her hand move out of the corner of my eye, I winced, even before I felt the smarting sting of her slap across the back of my head.

"I'm obviously missing something here," Jake said, grabbing Leah's hand when she pulled back. Placing a kiss on her palm, he held on and continued. "What other thing, Jazz? And don't bother trying to wiggle out of it, 'cause I'll let her go for a second shot."

'Dude, really?" I huffed, then set my guitar to the side. "It's just - Leah thinks I should tell the band I'm gay, that I shouldn't hide it anymore."

Jake stared at me, saying nothing. I writhed internally under the weight of his gaze, wondering what he was thinking, but afraid to ask. The silence stretched on for a several long seconds, only to be broken by the sound of Emily calling from inside the house. Shooting me a hard look, coupled with an exasperated sigh of my name, Leah excused herself to go check on the little girl. Uncomfortable with the heavy silence that had descended on the garage; I stood and walked over to the keyboards, my fingers wandering over the ivory-colored keys in frustration.

"And . . .?"

"And what?" I shot back. "Come on, Jake. You know as well as I do, that shit ain't gonna fly. It's no big deal."

"Yeah, dude, it kind of is a big deal." Fretting a chord, Jake plucked a couple notes. "Look, a band ain't no different than a team. Everyone has to have their head in the game if they stand any chance of winning." He adjusted his tuning then hit the chord again. Satisfied, he met my eyes. "Wouldn't it be better to have it all out in the open ahead of time, rather than spring it on them late? Or, worse yet, have some tabloid get a hold of it a few years down the road, when we're riding high? Keeping your true self hidden is a recipe for disaster, all the way around."

I opened my mouth to interject, but was stunned quiet by his next words.

"Besides, why the hell should you have to lie about who you are? That's no kind of life, and you know it." Jake stood and leaned his guitar against his amp. "I'm gonna go make some phone calls, get the guys over here. We gotta band to build."

Picking out a melody on the keys, I mused over everything Leah and Jake had said. In my gut, I know my friends were right. It had been one thing to be open with them. Hell, even coming clean with my parents hadn't been the hell it could have been. I'd certainly heard worse horror stories than being tossed out at eighteen. But, if I were completely honest with myself a certain amount of fear clouded my choices when faced with coming out, not only to my band mates, but the public in general. I'd lived under the radar for years; I'd never tried to hide my sexuality outright, just allowed discretion to dictate my actions. Then I thought of Edward. Did I want to be like him? Afraid of my own fucking shadow, desperate to break free, but terrified to do it? I knew the answer without wasting any more energy thinking about it.

"I reached all the guys; they should be here in about an hour. I didn't tell them what it was about, just that we wanted to go over some shit after last night." Jake caught my eye and tossed me a bottle of water. "You made a decision."

It wasn't a question. Jake knew me well enough to read my body language.

With steely determination, I answered, "Yeah. but we're doing it my way."

"Don't we always?" Jake grinned.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Setting aside the angst of the coming revelation, I worked with Jake on tightening up the chord progressions on one of the songs that had missed the demo cut. I'd scrapped it at the time because something in it didn't feel right. Even still, with Jake's new input, I knew it needed . . . more, but fuck if I knew what. We were still dicking around with it when Seth wandered into the garage from the driveway forty minutes later. With a casual jerk of his head in greeting, he jumped on the keyboard, picking up the melody and adding a few flourishes of his own. Nodding, a satisfied smirk lifting the corner of my mouth, I started the run again. Jake switched to his bass to give us a bottom, and together we worked through a full progression. With the final chord resonating in the garage, Seth let out a low whistle.

"One of yours, dude?" he asked, shoving his hair off his face while accepting the bottle of water Jake tossed his way.

"Yeah. It still needs something, but the keys may be the ticket. Maybe we can run it again later, when the other guys get here." Absentmindedly, I pulled at the frayed threads on the torn knee of my jeans.

"So, bro - you called, I'm here. What's the deal? Lucas flaking out again?" Seth's fingers continued to flit over the keyboard, picking out small melodies from a variety of songs. Damn, the kid was good.

"Nah - well, not exactly. Just being preemptive." Jake was interrupted by Emily bursting into the garage.

"Uncle Sefh!" she lisped over her uncle's name, exploding in giggles when Seth caught her and tossed her in the air, before he held her close to smother her with kisses.

"Hey, squirt!" Emily giggled and wriggled in his arms, planting a sloppy kiss on his check, before letting him set her down. He turned his attention back to his brother-in-law. "You were saying?"

The other guys should be here soon. Jazz and I will explain then, so we only have to do it once."

"Fair enough. Let me pop inside and say hey to my sister real quick."

While he was gone, I made good on my promise to Emily. Maneuvering the little girl in between my knees, I stood her in front of me and held my guitar so she could see it. I positioned her fingers on the frets, her pinkie on the high E, ring finger on B - a simple G chord, and one of the few her little hands would be able to learn yet. Then, I pulled the pick out from under the strings on the head and handed it to her, guiding her in strumming out the chord. Once she had the hang of it, I repositioned her fingers to the D chord, letting her strum again once they were in place. Patiently, I worked her back and forth between the two chords, teaching her to play a simple melody. Emily watched with studied determination, her tongue captured between her teeth while she concentrated on making sure she placed her fingers right on the frets. Engrossed in our lesson, neither of us heard the door open, nor registered the reappearance of her uncle and mother until a small burst of applause filled the air when she finished. Colin and Lucas entered the garage at the same time, adding their own praise to everyone else's. Emily grinned and blushed, ducking her head to focus on the guitar again.

Catching Jake's glance, Leah nodded, and called Emily to her. The little girl placed a kiss on my check, whispering, "Thanks, Uncle J," in my ear, and then paused to hug her father, before skipping across the concrete floor to join her mother to go back inside. The other guys bustled around; Colin unpacking his bass and hooking up to his amp, while Lucas settled behind the practice kit Jake kept in the garage. Jake cleared his throat, bringing the activity to a standstill and drawing everyone's attention his direction.

"So, you guys know how unreliable Quinn's been lately. He's missed more gigs than he's shown up for, bailing on practices and shit." Everyone nodded in agreement. "Well, after last night, Jazz and I decided to join forces. We already write and compose most of the songs together, anyway - just makes sense that we should be playing in the same band."

The others all voiced their agreement with the decision, relieving one of the stressors I'd worried about. The next wouldn't be quite so easy. Gripping my guitar like a security blanket, I shifted on the stool I'd been sitting on, then looked around the room. Seth still tinkered with the keyboard, albeit with the sound turned down, Colin leaned against the far wall by Jake's toolbox, and Lucas sat behind the drums, twirling a stick in his hand, with an expectant look on his face. Jake nodded, giving me the floor.

"If we're going to do this, there's something I need to get out in the open from the start," I began, a trickle of sweat sending an icy chill down my spine. "I'm gay."

After the wooden clatter of Lucas' stick hitting the ground faded, the ensuing silence that filled the garage was deafening.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

The pregnant silence was broken by a loud snort from Seth.

"Well, hell. That finally explains why you haven't gotten your dick wet with Alice."

Seth ducked the towel Jake threw at him, popping back up with a smug smirk.

"Common fucking sense explains why no one wants to dip their wick in Alice, cuz," Colin replied, then offered me a thumb's up. "Dude, who you fuck is your business. I'm here for the music."

I let loose the breath I'd been holding.

"Well, I'm not cool with it." Lucas muttered. Using the drum stool for leverage, he shoved himself to his feet and worked his way from behind the kit. "That shit ain't natural, and I'm not sticking around."

Colin stared at his best friend like he'd grown two heads. "Are you kidding me, Luc? It's fucking 2012; get your head out of your ass."

"I don't give a fuck what year it is; I ain't ever gonna support two faggots getting it on." Sneering, he pointed in my direction. "You guys want to ride the bone pony with him, go right ahead. I'm outta of here."

He left without another word, Colin hot on his heels. From the open garage door, I could see Colin jerk his friend up short, followed by a heated argument. Lucas waved his hands vehemently to punctuate whatever he was saying. Glaring back at me, he shoved Colin away and stormed off to his truck. I shook my head. It was exactly what I'd feared.

I turned away from the spectacle in the front yard when Jake spoke, "Looks like I made the right choice when I went ahead and called Mac. He should be here in a couple of hours; he's gotta finish up his shift at the shop."

Seth fired off a couple questions about Emmett, wanting to know where he'd fit in if the other drummer took us up on our offer. While Jake filled him in on the particulars of the band's set up in either scenario, I tried to muster a modicum of emotion over Lucas' reaction. Finding none, I realized it didn't matter. What the rest of the world had to say held way less importance to me than the opinions of the five people who had accepted me. Satisfied with that observation, I tuned out everything until I felt Colin's hand came down heavy on my shoulder.

"Jazz, man, I'm fucking sorry."

I shrugged. "It's not your apology to make. Besides, my own father has said worse. Better we know now, rather than later when it could really hurt the band."

"True facts. So, I'm guessing there's a reason why this needed to come out now? Maybe something to do with your talk with the suits last night?"

Since we essentially had a band, even without Mac, I decided to spill the rest of my announcement to Colin and Seth, "Yeah." I grinned. "You bet your ass it does. How do you feel about playing in New York City?"

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Set List for this Chapter:

Remember My Name by House of Lords

I Stand Alone by Jackyl

Get the Funk Out by Extreme

Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park

As I've said repeatedly in the past, I make no promises on an update schedule. I do the best I can with the time I have available. I appreciate every single one of you who still hangs around for the updates, leaving reviews and love, and am grateful that new readers are willing to jump on board a WIP with a shaky schedule. Thank you all.