Also, I'm not very happy with this chapter… I don't know why… it just seems I couldn't get across what I wanted to say. _ I'm not expressing myself very well. *sigh* maybe I'll be better for the next chapter, right? ^_^ *positive outlook*
Series: Initial D
Disclaimer: Initial D does not belong to me, more's the pity. I'm just using the characters and concept for a little nonprofit fun and will return them to Shigeno Shuichi relatively unharmed. ^_______^
Rating: PG
Warnings: NON-YAOI
Genre: romance Author's
Notes: chapter titles are lyrics to the song , "Don't Stop the Music" by Lou Grant, featured on the Initial D Selection CD.
*** denotes thoughts and/or random stylistic elements. ^^;;
/// denotes flashbacks Feedback: craved and coveted!!!
[email protected] or leave a review here.
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Title: Don't Stop the Music – chapter 4
The Music and the Lights – With the Best Emotion Author: kokoro
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***
I remember our first dance, hand to hand, cheek to cheek, nose to bumper.
I remember the look in your eyes when they met mine.
I remember the way you smiled as we passed each other.
I remember our song, the rhythm pushing us faster.
***
I had to brake hard several times as I drove on the highway. Nearly avoiding several collisions.
I resolved to put Keisuke out of my mind. I couldn't think about this if I was to make it to Akagi in one piece. It was too distracting.
***
I'd left my past in the past.
***
But what was that saying? That if you tell a person not to think of pink elephants, that person will do nothing but think of pink elephants?
The more I tried not to think of Keisuke, the more I thought of him. I was remembering more and more of what I thought I'd left behind when I'd left. I thought running away to Tokyo would solve my problems. Everyone told me that things change in university. Once you're in university, things will be different, *you'll* be different, they said.
And it was true. In a way. Moving away from home forced me to grow up. I felt so independent now, so empowered. I felt in control.
I thought I was free.
But no matter how hard I tried to forget him, he was always there. Everytime I saw someone with spiky hair. Everytime I saw someone with green eyes. Everytime I drove my car, Keisuke was there. I didn't know it at the time, but I knew it now.
***
My past hasn't left me.
***
I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it until now.
All this time, I thought I'd put it all behind me, but in reality, I was towing it along, like a trailer.
I had never been free. It had all been an illusion.
///
"Gotcha!"
Keiko laughed as she was virtually tackled by her boyfriend.
"Keisuke! Stop it!" she laughed, batting ineffectually at the strong arms around her waist.
The tall blond man chuckled and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Make me!"
She giggled and made a show of trying to escape. "You're not supposed to play on stairs! Didn't your mother ever teach you that?" she joked.
Keisuke responded by picking her up and swinging over the stairs as if to fling her down to the street below. She shrieked, frightening several of their fellow students as they passed the couple on their way out of the school.
"Go out with me tonight." With Keisuke, questions came as statements.
"I can't, Keisuke. I've told you that every day this week."
"But not *why*~~" he whined slightly.
"I just can't. I'm busy." She wasn't joking anymore, and she tried to break away from the insistent young man holding her.
As she twisted in his grasp she happened to look up and lock gazes with a young man on a motorcycle parked on the street below. Keiko stilled.
"Keisuke," her voice was low and very serious. "Keisuke, let go," she hissed.
Her eyes were suddenly wide. Keisuke looked at her curiously. His arms tightened around her instinctively.
"What is it?"
"Just let go!"
"I'm not letting go until you tell me why," he teased.
Keiko made an exasperated noise and deftly slipped out of his grasp. She hurriedly stalked down the front steps of the high school, turning around to flash him a firm glance, telling him to stay put. Her fingers clutched the strap of her schoolbag in a white knuckled grip.
"Keiko-sama!" the motorcyclist dismounted and took off his helmet, bowing slightly from the waist.
"Jun!" Keiko hissed, thwapping the other upside the head. "I told you not to come here!"
"It's important. Toji-sama sent for you."
Keiko's eyes narrowed. "I don't work for Toji!" she spat out.
Jun bowed his head. "I know, but… It's about Hanako."
Keiko's eyes flashed with anger. "So?" she challenged.
Jun lost some of his stiff formalness, his eyes softening. "Keiko........."
She closed her eyes, her shoulders slumped with defeat. She meekly took the spare helmet from Jun and mounted his bike.
"Let's go." Meanwhile, Keisuke looked on from the steps, brows furrowed in confusion and anger.///
"Why is it that no matter what I do, I can't get away from these memories?" I leaned my elbow against the window and propped my head on my hand, fingers tangling in my loose hair.
I wished that I wasn't remembering all this. I wished that it had never happened.
Well… except for that part about Keisuke…
And I couldn't stop the soft smile that crept across my face.
No matter what I did, all the bad things, all the running away, I never regretted my relationship with Keisuke. In fact, in my heart of hearts, I'd never stopped my relationship with Keisuke.
///
Keiko leaned against a white Acura Integra staring up at the stars above. She took several deep breaths, her eyes closed. She could smell rain on the air, but it wouldn't come for several hours yet. The high humidity in the air though, would still affect the pavement. She knew she would have to be careful tonight.
Suddenly, her cell phone rang. Keiko checked the call display. It was Keisuke.
"Moshi-moshi?" she tried to keep her voice calm, the sweet tones Keisuke was used to.
"Keiko? Where are you?" Keisuke sounded puzzled.
"I…I'm…" she hesitated. She didn't know why but she couldn't seem to bring herself to lie to Keisuke. "Why do you ask?"
"It sounds loud…" his voice sounded hollow, and she didn't know whether it was the tinny quality of her cell phone, or if Keisuke was unhappy.
Keiko looked around her. The high performance cars, the scantily clad girls, and the dozens upon dozens of cocky rich boys.
"I'm out with some friends," she answered lamely.
"All alone in a crowd?" Keisuke tried to be coy.
Keiko could hear the smile in his voice, but she couldn't smile back.
"Keisuke…"
"I know, I know," he cut her off. "You're busy. Your friends are very exclusive. You're already doing something. It's private. I've heard all the excuses, Keiko, you've been giving them to me for the past three months. I'm starting to wonder whether or not you consider me your boyfriend at all."
Keiko got into the car for some silence and privacy. "You know I care about you, Keisuke, but there's just some things…"
A knock on the window drew Keiko's attention.
"I have to go, Keisuke. It's important. I promise, when the time is right, I'll tell you everything." She hung up the phone and rolled down the window.
"The bets are in, Keiko-sama. You'll have more than enough if you win."
Keiko's response was a feral grin. "Then let's ride!"
///
"I wonder if I had met Keisuke first...would we still be together now?" I mused aloud. "Would we be the perfect couple? Would we be working towards happily ever after? If only I hadn't done what I'd done?"
No! I shook my head vigorously. This wasn't my fault! I did what I had to do! What I *wanted* to do! It was who I was!
***
If he loved me?
***
He found out.
It was inevitable, I know, but I wished that I had been the one to tell him.
But even then, he told me he loved me. He shouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it. If he'd meant it, we'd still be together now. I would have thrown away everything for our love. Why couldn't he suffer just the one disapproving glance?
I took my aggressions out on the gas pedal, flooring it. Tonight was the night. I sincerely hoped I was making the right decision now. Sometimes the heart leads where the wise fear to tread [1]
***
Truly loved me?
***
Just 10 more miles to Akagi.
Soon I'd have the answers to my questions.
Soon I'd know whether or not my heart loved in vain these past few years.
I was going to see *my* Keisuke.
~* TBC *~[1] sorry for the misquote! ^O^;;;