Chapter One

A black haired girl crept quietly past the Squad Six Barracks. Her name was Yasu Fujioka and she was the Fourth Seat of the Fourth Squad in the Thirteen Court Guard Squads.

"What is a squad four doing over here?"

Yasu looked up from the ground and spotted Ikkaku Madarame and Yumichika Ayasegawa walking towards her from the direction of the Squad Eleven Barracks.

"Going for a... walk." Yasu decided, smiling at the men.

"It's dangerous to be walking alone at night, you might find yourself in an ugly situation." Yumichika warned.

"SHHHHHH!" Ikkaku hissed, flapping his arms to try and quiet the others down. Yumichika quickly dodged away from Ikkaku's hand.

"You almost hit my eyebrow!" He cried. "My beautiful, beautiful, eyebrow..." He began stroking it subconsciously.

"Did you hear that?" Ikkaku asked, putting a hand behind his ear to try and listen harder. "It's the faint sound of yelling... Someone's in a fight! This is my lucky, lucky, day!" He chanted, doing a little dance.

"It's true what they say about those Squad Eleven guys." Yasu shook her head.

"What do they say?" Yumichika asked, getting closer to Yasu. "Do they talk about how beautiful we are?"

"Umm..." Yasu said slowly, trying to take a step back. "Where are you two headed?"

"In the direction of the fighting, of course!" Ikkaku said, pointing towards the faint yelling that was coming from the Squad Six Barracks.

A bottle of conditioner went flying over their heads.

"What did that accomplish?" Renji Abarai's voice could be heard through an open window.

"I got rid of the damn thing!" The voice of the Third Seat of the Sixth Division, Saiko Shimada, could be heard shouting back. "If all you're going to do is bitch and moan about it, I'm getting rid of it!"

"I called dibs on that bottle and you know it!"

"I called dibs a good point oh-nine seconds before you did!"

Ikkaku ran to the bottle of conditioner. "Gonna make my way into this one. Yes I am~!" He sang.

"Don't be an idiot, please," Yumichika sighed.

"Make me," Ikkaku challenged.

"I think that's Saiko and Renji fighting..." Yasu said, picking out the voices of her friends. "Though who else would be fighting over conditioner?" She questioned, looking over at Ikkaku.

"Is that supposed to be a bald joke?" Ikkaku demanded.

"What?" Yasu asked.

"I'll have you know I can use conditioner just as well as anyone with hair." He explained, crossing his arms. "Now, to the Squad Six Barracks!" He declared, marching in that direction.

"Is Abarai here?" A voice whispered from behind Yasu. A slender, white haired girl with an eye patch over her left eye by the name of Saiko appeared from the shadows. "If either of you tell Abarai I came back here for the conditioner..." she looked between Yasu and Yumichika before drawing a thumb across her neck. Yasu looked at Saiko's eye-patch and felt a twinge of guilt, remembering the situation that caused Saiko to lose her eye.

Renji crept around the corner, "What are you doing here?" he demanded, seeing Saiko. She vanished from his sight in a second and he shook his head, trying to clear it.

"What am I doing here?" Yumichika asked, pointing to himself

"I... I thought I saw..." Renji muttered.

"Me. He saw me," Yasu said, waving to the shadows that she knew Saiko was now hiding in.

Renji jumped in surprise at Yasu's voice. "Y-yeah, Yasu." He lied, turning to her. "Hi, Yasu! I was just... Uh... Walking... The night air is so... invigorating..." Renji looked around at the people he was standing by. "I didn't know you hung around with Squad Eleven," He said to Yasu.

"Yeah well, you know... Expanding my horizons." Yasu explained. Renji raised an eyebrow at her.

"Where's your shadow?" He asked.

"Huh? Oh... Hana wanted to stay at home he was too chick—I mean, tired. He was too tired to accompany me tonight."

Ikkaku held the bottle of conditioner out to Saiko teasingly. "Ha-ha! Got your bottle!" He laughed. "What're you gonna do now? Fight me for it? Argue with me? Yell at me?"

"You're into Smoe, aren't you?" Saiko asked, snatching the bottle back. "And of course I'm not going to yell at you. Thanks for finding my conditioner bottle for me." Saiko said, patting Ikkaku on the head. "So smooth..." She admired before walking away.

Ikkaku took a deep breath. "Someday," he pouted.

Saiko returned, with Ikkaku to the scene of the crime, the bottle of conditioner tucked safely away in her top.

"I see you're out and about, Abarai," Saiko said as she approached him. "Not looking for that conditioner, are you?"

"Why would I be looking for something as stupid as conditioner?" Renji scoffed.

"Hi, Saiko," Yasu said, giving her a small wave. "How have you been?"

"Oh, you know," Saiko sighed, "as good as I can be with the work load and the idiot boss." She shot Renji a teasing grin.

"Hey!"

"How about yourself?" Saiko asked before Renji could keep shouting.

"I'm amazing... really..." She tugged on her sleeve a bit. "Just you know... Everything's normal, nothing's out of the ordinary... Hey, when are we going to have another meeting?"

"Meeting?" Renji questioned.

"Yeah, the woman's association." Yasu explained.

"That's a real thing? I thought it was a joke; you guys really get together and have planned pillow fights and kissing practice?" Ikkaku laughed.

"Kissing practice, yes, the pillow fights only take place when we're properly nude and oiled." Saiko explained.

"Wh-what?"

"How ugly, you're drooling!" Yumichika cried, taking a step away from Ikkaku. "Disgusting."

Ikkaku quickly wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Is that true? Is that what you do when you get together?"

Yasu turned bright red and Renji patted her on the head. "Don't worry, Yasu, we know they're joking around."

"Yeah, no one was picturing you oiling each other up and gently—"

Ikkaku was cut off as Renji reached over and smacked him on the back of his head.

"Those thoughts are terribly ugly. You should be ashamed of yourself." Yumichika chastised.

"Oh trust me; these thoughts are far from ugly..." Ikkaku explained, smiling to himself.

"Well. I'm going to go take a bath and go to bed..." Saiko stretched and the bottle of conditioner fell out of her top. "Gah!" She cried, fumbling to try and catch the bottle.

"Hey!" Renji cried, recognizing the object at once.

"Are you two seriously fighting over a bottle of cheap conditioner?" Yumichika asked.

"We're not fighting, we're having a heated dispute, because, Shimada here stole my conditioner."

"Heated dispute? Why so formal, Renji?" Yasu questioned.

"I didn't steal it. I called dibs," Saiko protested.

"What's so special about it?" Ikkaku asked, inspecting the bottle Saiko had in her hand.

"It's the last bottle in the barracks." Saiko sighed. "At least until someone goes shopping."

"Why don't you just share?" Yumi offered.

"No one asked you!" Renji shouted at him.

"What's wrong with you?" Saiko demanded of Yumichika.

"You can't just share it!" Renji added.

"Idiot!"

"Dumbass!"

"Such ugly words..." Yumichika muttered, looking away with a small tear in his eye.

"Did you hear that?" Yasu asked suddenly.

"What?"

"It sounded like the wind... But the trees aren't moving..."

"I didn't hear anything," Renji said.

"What an ugly sound, I hate the wind, it messes up my hair," Yumichika said, smoothing his hair down.

"Shh, there it is again... Like a little... Whoosh."

Saiko suddenly went wide eyed and shoved the bottle of conditioner in Renji's hand before quickly standing at attention.

"What are you—"

Byakuya Kuchiki, Captain of the Sixth Division in the Thirteen Court Guard Squad, whooshed into the scene.

"Did I not tell you to dispose of that?" Byakuya asked, staring down at the bottle in Renji's hands.

Saiko stuck her tongue out at Renji quickly before turning her attention back to her Captain. "Good evening, Captain."

Byakuya looked over the rest of the group. "Who are you? What are you doing by the Squad Six Barracks?"

Yasu bowed. "Yasu Fujioka, squad four, fourth seat. We were going for a night time stroll. Who are you?"

"Who am I?" Byakuya asked, pointing to himself.

"I'm kidding, I know who you are."

While Byakuya had his back turned, Renji tried to shove the bottle into Saiko's hands. "I was wrong, I don't want it, you keep it." He whispered.

"No, no, really, it's for you." She whispered back, pushing the conditioner on him once more.

"I insist,"

"No, really, your hair is far more damaged than mine, you really need it."

"No I—" Renji fumbled the bottle and it dropped to the ground, exploding around the bottom of Byakuya's robes.

"Oooh, a fight!" Ikkaku said excitedly, rubbing his hands together.

"Well, I'm afraid that we must excuse ourselves," Yumichika said, grabbing Ikkaku's arm.

Byakuya looked down at his robe and then back up at Renji and Saiko.

"I've never thought of using conditioner as fabric softener before, let me know how it works..." Yasu said.

Byakuya ignored this.

"At least you smell nice now?"

Renji shot her a what the hell are you doing look over his captain's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I just can't take him seriously."

Byakuya turned to Yasu. "I think it is best if you return to your quarters and get out of my sight."

"I would have preferred to have it soften my hair..." Saiko sighed, running a hand through her snow white hair. "It's like grass... So sun damaged..."

"How ugly," Yumichika commented. "Beautiful people always take proper care of their hair," he gently patted his.

"No one asked you, peacock freak."

"You're just jealous of the beauty of my eyebrows."

"When you go to the zoo, do male peacocks throw up their plumage when you walk past?"

"I don't think that matters right now..." Yumichika coughed.

Yasu giggled for a moment before covering her mouth.

"Are you laughing at me?" Ikkaku demanded.

"Huh? No, no... It's... Peacock?" Yasu asked. "I didn't even think of that, but it's so true!"

"Tch," Yumichika began to stroke his eyebrows self-consciously.

"It's okay, I like peacocks... But, apparently they like you more."

"On the count of three, I'll kick the conditioner bottle to distract the captain and we run away." Renji said to Saiko.

"Okay," Saiko agreed. "One..."

"Two..." Renji counted.

Saiko jumped up and backwards onto a rooftop. "You're on your own, Abarai!" She called down to him before running away, disappearing from sight within a second.

"Wh-what? HEY! GET BACK HERE!" Renji shouted at no one.

"Ikkaku, we need to get back to the barracks. We have a meeting early tomorrow." Yumichika interrupted.

"We do?" Ikkaku questioned.

"Yes. With the captain. Remember?"

"Ummm..."

"Let's go."

Yasu perked up at Kenpachi's name. "Oh... You know I should probably walk you guys back... In case something spills and needs to be cleaned up... Yeah..."

Byakuya looked at the bottom of his robes with the conditioner around him and then to Yasu.

"You wouldn't mind just... Wiping up the rest of that with your robes would you? I mean... It's already dirty..."

Byakuya looked at Yasu, horrified that she would ask such a thing of him.

"Sh-she doesn't mean it, Captain." Renji said quickly. "She's just delusional from exhaustion. You know how easily those Squad Fours get worn out."

"Hmm..." Byakuya muttered, turning away so his hair would flow out behind him.

"Captain..." Renji muttered, frowning at him. "Are you the one that's been using all the conditioner in the barracks?"

"Don't be ridiculous,"

"I really want to touch it…" Yasu mumbled absentmindedly.

"You can touch me." Ikkaku leaned down so she could rub his shiny head.

Yasu blushed, "No, no that's okay. It wouldn't prove anything…" She looked up at Byakuya. "Why are you so tall, Sixth Captain?"

"Well we better get going; you're welcome to accompany us, Yasu." Ikkaku flashed a seductive smile.

"Uhm." Yasu took a step back making Ikkaku's smile turn into a frown.

Byakuya took this moment to whoosh away.

"Awh, look he left a trail of conditioner behind him… that's going to be a beez to clean up in the morning."

"Then why don't you take care of it now?" Renji offered.

"Because I'm busy." Yasu said, matter of fact.

"You're just going to push it off on someone else tomorrow, aren't you?"

Saiko faded in from the shadows behind Renji. "Cool, the Captain left."

Renji jumped and spun around. "You! You ditched me!"

She shrugged, "Sorry, Abarai, but I was fearing for my life and I didn't want you slowing me down."

Yumi examined his nails, waiting impatiently for Ikkaku and Yasu to accompany him back to his barracks.

"You can't just leave your superiors like that!" Renji shouted.

Saiko looked down at her feet. "You're right, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

Renji looked slightly taken aback at his friend's sudden passiveness. "Yeah well… don't do it again!"

"I won't,"

"Did you hear that again? The whooshing is back." Yasu spoke quietly.

"I do not 'whoosh'." Byakuya said from somewhere unknown.

"Yes, you do." Yasu nodded.

"C-captain? Where are you?" Renji turned around trying to spot his superior.

"You are all standing outside my window." He informed them, his voice slightly strained with annoyance.

Yasu looked up, seeing Byakuya peering down through his open bedroom window. "Hmm, I always thought the Captain's rooms would be in a more… private location."

"Why aren't you at home, Captain?" Saiko questioned.

"I have an early day tomorrow. There's a seat meeting at seven in the morning." Byakuya informed her.

"What? I thought it was at eight."

"I pushed it forwards an hour."

"That's not—"

"Six then, I'll keep making it earlier…" Byakuya warned.

"Captain, come on that's—" Renji tried to argue, but was cut off.

"Five o'clock, don't be late." And with that the Sixth Captain slammed his window shut.

"Well if we're all leaving… Uhm, does anyone know where Captain Zaraki is? Not that I need to know or anything I was just… you know making friendly conversation." Yasu babbled on nervously, trying to sound inconspicuous.

"He's training." Ikkaku informed her.

"Oh so he's not in his room then?" Yasu asked, doing her best to look nonchalant.

"I doubt it."

Saiko groaned, "I can't believe we have to get up before five tomorrow…"

Renji sighed. "We should get back to bed, shouldn't we."

"'Back to bed' Eh?" Ikkaku winked at them.

"Yeah, back, because Saiko decided to wake me up to bother me about the condition that wound up getting spilt… because of her." Renji threw Saiko a glare.

"You're the one that dropped it!" Saiko defended.

"Well, this was interesting, nice seeing all of you but I'm going to go… this way." Yasu pointed in the direction of squad eleven.

Saiko sighed, "I'm going to bed, with my sun damaged, hay textured hair. Because someone dropped the conditioner." She gave Renji over dramatic puppy dog eyes.

"Oooh no, you can't put this one on me!" Renji shouted.

"I blame the Sixth Captain, he used all of it when you could have just as easily scooped it back into the bottle." Yasu shrugged.

"Is that what you do when you clean things?" Renji stopped fighting with Saiko and looked over at Yasu.

She nodded. "Yeah, it works for everything, spilled cereal, spilled soap, spilled toothpaste… I'm not about to waste things Renji." Yasu shook her head.

Everyone paused for a moment, thinking this over.

"Gross… Don't take this personally Yasu, but… please get someone else to clean squad six's barracks." Saiko made a face.

"You can keep cleaning squad eight's, especially if you wear this." Shunsui, the Eighth Captain appeared, holding up a skimpy French maid's costume.