Dear Sonny,

Yes, another awful name. I'm not even going to get into that one because it's just a repeat of yesterday. Plus, I've got much more important things on my mind, like exams that I have to study for and CRAZY PSYCHO EX-GIRLFRIENDS. Well, girlfriend. Do you know what your aunt did today, you small child? She threatened me.

Not the first death threat I've ever gotten from an ex, but she made it very believable.

I don't think she even meant for me to see it at first- you see, I was just in the common room and I saw her scribbling furiously in a notebook. Afraid that it was another awfully-written poem, I kind of peeked at it. And it was a poem. I can't remember exactly how it went, but it went something like this:

"Lucius Malfoy has to die

Lucius Malfoy has blind eyes

If he cannot see how great

I am of a mate.

Lucius Malfoy deserves death

From his body chopped his head

Lucius Malfoy soon will see

That nobody should ever dump me."

And then I said something really, really quite stupid, considering how pissed Bellatrix Black already was at me.

"You really love me that much? Wo-ow."

I mean, wo-ow, what a STUPID thing to say. What did I expect, for her NOT to spin around and try and strangle me? Which she did, by the way. In fact, I probably would have ended up in the hospital wing again if your mother, son, hadn't rushed in at that moment.

Bellatrix is very hard to surprise, and usually no one can lay a hand or spell on her, but when she's attempting to strangle someone, then, yeah, it's easier. Which is the only explanation I could think of for how Narcissa was able to hit Bellatrix, her own sister, with a stunning spell.

Bellatrix wasn't even able to turn and see who had done it before she hit the ground and went all stunny and dead-looking.

A very good look for her, I might add.

Ah, Narcissa's on her way towards me. She's sure to laugh at how I'm writing another one of these.

Good luck in the world today, son. Sonny. Whatever.

From, Lucius Malfoy.

Narcissa strode up to him, still looking a bit arrogant and proud as she had that morning. She tossed a book onto Lucius's lap, saying, "If you hate all the names I've liked, then look through this and just find one. If you're looking for one that his mother will approve of, pick one that you hate."

And then she left, linking arms with another girl and walking out of the common room easily. Narcissa seemed more confident, and not necessarily in a good way. But even Lucius was getting a little of that.

Bellatrix Black was currently still knocked out and also temporarily- they hoped- adhered to the dungeons' ceiling. Her hair hung down and completely covered her face, but her hands hung free from her robes. Some of the more... immature students had been being kind of moronic and sending spells up at her body. Most of them were just changing her hair color and things, as if she were some enormous dress-up doll, but one or two had actually sliced her hands. The blood had stopped dripping, but she was still an eerie sight.

And if she found out that no one had done anything, she would be totally angry.

Lucius clenched his fists, then let them hang at his sides. Even if Bellatrix was... Bellatrix, that didn't mean she didn't deserve a fair fight before getting hurt.

He was going to have to do something.

Wishing the whole way that he didn't feel obligated to do this, Lucius walked over to Bellatrix, and everyone's eyes were cast upon him. Avoiding their gazes, he charmed her down and threw her heavy body over his shoulder. Lucius carried her up to his dormitory room and let her fall haphazardly on his bed.

"Good enough," he muttered, then made his way out quickly. He definitely did not want to be there when she woke up.

A/N: Sorry that this chapter wasn't exactly humorous, but that's just the way it turned out. The next chapter will be, if you want, I promise. Any comments?