Snowed in Ouran

A/N:I. Hate. Writer's Block. -_-

Warning: CRACK. Crack crack crack. OOC-ness, ridiculousness, cannabilism, yess. Wait, what? :P

Disclaimer: I do not ownn OHSHC. I wish.

It was your typical day in Ouran Academy.

Which means there was craziness, zaniness, fourth wallbreaking-ness, and a crapload of other -nesses I don't feel like writing about.

Anyways, the last guest of the day had left, leaving the hosts and their girlfriends to clean up. It had started to snow lightly outside, making Tori shiver.

"Maybe we should wait until tomorrow to clean this, I have a bad feeling about that sno-"

WHOOOM.

A huge pile of snow was dumped all over Ouran and trapped everything- the windows, doors, and all the nooks and crannies.

I like that expression. Nooks and crannies. Hehee n.n

ANYWAYS, they were stuck.

"We're stuck! No! How am I supposed to get my hair done!" Fabulatista, a pale-skinned-onyx-eyed-blue-haired lady said.

"Calm down honey," Kyoya tried to put the moves on his girlfriend.

She kicked him away.

"And you can break the fourth wall only so much here!" Chikin, a clone of Fabulatista, fretted.

"It'll be okay, Chik-chan!" Honey told his girlfriend, sweetly linking hands with her.

Chikin slapped him.

Mori laughed.

"Oh my God oh my God oh my God I'M GONNA DIE!" Tori, a blonde-haired-blue eyed-first year panicked.

"Shhhh, baby. We're gonna make it out of here," Kaoru promised his girlfriend, who attacked him... with love.

"Tori's right! We're never making it out of here!" Hikaru yelled, grabbing at his hair. "I'm going to go MAD stuck in here with you people-"

"Shut up Hikaru," Ayame, a purple-streaked brunette with blue eyes, hissed. "You're making us look bad."

"Sorry Ayame," Hikaru whispered to his girlfriend.

"I DON'T WANNA DIE YOUNG-"

Haruhi simply knocked out Tamaki with a flute(it IS a music room, after all) and dragged her boyfriend away.

Aiki, the red-haired-blue-eyed-pair-skin lady that had caught Mori's attention, and Mori ran around screaming until They dropped to the ground and fell asleep.

"SHUT UP!" the author screamed. Everyone looked to the sky.

"Sorry Rochelle," Chikin called.

"FIND A WAY TO SURVIVE THIS YOURSELVES, I'M GOING TO FIND FOOD," the author, apparently named Rochelle, said before footsteps from above were heard.

"HMM... CHICKEN? NO... I GOT IT! HAM!" they heard Rochelle mutter to herself.

"She's taunting us!" Tori shreiked, glaring at the ceiling.

"SHUT UP, TORI. YOUR FATE RESTS IN MY HANDS," the author threatened.

Tori hid behind Kaoru.

"How dare you speak to my girlfriend like that-"

"SHUT UP KAORU."

"Yes ma'am," Kaoru squeaked.

"I'M FEELING GENEROUS TODAY. HERE," Rochelle made a puppy appear. "FIGHT AMONG YOURSELVES."

"MINE!" Fabulatista snarled, lunging for the puppy.

"Nice try, sister," Chikin spit, clawing at her hair.

"NOT THE HAIR!" Fabulatista covered her head. Chikin grabbed the puppy and ran out of the room down the halls on Ouran.

"...She DID realize we have cake and sweets in the storage room, and quality food in the kitchen, right?" Ayame asked, eyebrows raised.

"FOOD... FOOD... FOOD..." Tori rocked back and forth, knees drawn up to her chest and a scary look in her eye.

"Here you go baby, I brought your favorite, chocolate cake," Kaoru said timidly, dropping the plate and running behind a piano.

...I'm pretty sure he puts up with her out of fear.

"NOMNOMNOM... I LOVE YOU MY SWEET KAORU," she yelled, glomping him.

"Do I smell cake?" Aiki sat straight up and made a beeline for the storage room.

"Bring me back strawberry, woman!" Mori called.

"Me too!" Honey added.

"Here you go, Honey-senpai," Aiki said cheerfully, stuffing the piece of cake in his face. "And for you, sweetie," she laid down the piece of cake in front of Mori, who waved her away.

"Get out of my face, woman."

"Yes honey," she said obediantly and sat down with her piece of lime cake.

"Ah ah ah! Did I say you could sit down?" Mori hissed.

"N- no, but I just thought-"

"You thought wrong. Stand up. Eat that cake with your hands," he ordered. She did as she was told then looked at him expectantly. "Feed me, woman."

"Yes honey," she murmured, taking the fork and feeding him. After he was done, she wiped his face with a napkin. "You are dismissed," he waved her away.

The hosts ignored this entire exchange.

"Hikaru, do you want cake?" Ayame asked, getting up.

"Yes ma'am," Hikaru said primly. "Chocolate please."

"Here you go," she handed him the cake. "Do you need help cutting it up?"

"No, moth- I mean Ayame," he murmured, snatching the cake away. "I'M A GROWN MAN!"

"Okay, okay, sorry sweetie," she turned away with tears in her eyes. "They grow up so fast..."

"Get your cake, senpai."

"Okay, my darling, do you want some?" Tamaki asked.

"No, senpai. I don't want your damn hands on my cake!" Haruhi yelled. "...What?" she asked when everyone stared.

"Kyoya dear, will you get me some cake?" Fabulatista asked as she brushed her hair.

"Of course, sweetie," he replied, brushing her hair softly as he walked past.

"DO. NOT. TOUCH. THE. HAIR," she hissed, biting his leg.

...I'm pretty sure he puts up with her for the money. Fabulatista was very rich, almost Mary-Sue rich!

"YOU GUYS ARE BORING ME," Rochelle complained. "I'M GOING TO MAKE THINGS INTERESTING..."

"I don't like this..."

All of a sudden, the cake was all gone. Chikin ran back in, yelling "WHAT THE HELL, ROCHELLE! I WAS EATING THAT PUPPY!"

"LET'S SEE HOW YOU FARE NOW," Rochelle laughed.

"I'm so hungry," Tamaki wailed, banishing himself to his corner of woe and growing mushrooms.

"That's it!" Ayame yelled. "Tamaki, are those poisonous?"

"I dunno, how do we find out?"

"Like this," Haruhi grinned evilly before pinning her boyfriend down and forcing him to eat a mushroom. "CHEW," she yelled, closing his mouth. "NOW SWALLOW."

The hosts watched for a few seconds as Tamaki sat there. "...What are you guys looking at?"

"FOOOOOOOD," Tori groaned before snatching up the mushrooms and running down the halls of Ouran.

"NICE TRY," Rochelle cackled. "I TAKE AWAY YOUR ABILITY TO GROW MUSHROOMS. HAVE FUN!"

Tori ran back in, looking panicked. "FOOD GONE!"

The hosts sat in silence for awhile.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Fabulatista shreiked, jumping Honey. She made a fire out of the piano, then cooked the blonde third year and ate him.

"...MY PIANO!" Tamaki wailed.

"Who's next?" the blue haired girl snarled.

Tentatively, Tamaki raised his hand. "Next for what?" he asked innocently.

"THANKS FOR VOLUNTEERING!" He was next to go.

It started to resemble Easter Island- one by one, the hosts and girls were picked off by the anorexic looking lady.

Soon, she died from lonliness and lack of sustenance.

The author, a tan-skinned-frizzy-haired-brown-eyed girl walked in. She was of average height, slightly chubby, and had a smattering of freckles across her face. She adjusting her brown-square-framed glasses and looked around. "Well, that was fun," Rochelle muttered and snapped her fingers.

The snow melted and all the cake appeared. Rochelle sat down and cheerfully ate the cake then went to another archive to mess with their characters. Also, she decided to use a fancy word to say 'the end.'

Fin

Note: My name is not actually Rochelle. That was my first beta fish's name... before he swam down the drain in the sink... *sob*

I'd like your feedback ^.^

Love you, my darlings! Mwah!