Chapter XXIII

Strike's POV

"Strike?" It was a soft sound, barely a whisper. I looked down and saw Brasta giving me frankly the most indecipherable look I have ever seen. And it wasn't one I was expecting either; along with joy, his eyes radiated confusion, shock, and something else. I chuckled, trying to break the sudden tension that had sprang up between us.

"Yes, it's me. Miss me?" The tension only thickened, and Brasta's eyes narrowed. But he still didn't say another word. Instead, he just walked towards me slowly, looking at me as if he was afraid I was just a reflection. With every step closer to me, I felt like a heavy cloud had fallen upon us at a time when it never should have existed. Finally he stopped in front of me, and tentatively raised a paw to touch my face. I almost instinctively shied away- but he looked so vulnerable and confused at that moment, that I just couldn't.

"You have no idea." And with that, he backed up quickly, his face assuming a fairly neutral expression. "You really have no idea..." I raised an eyebrow at that, as I stepped closer to him. I knew the look in his eyes. "You're alive, and well..." There was a faintly accusing note in his tone which I picked up on rather quickly. "You took your time, I suppose."

Now that, I could definitely tell was an accusation. I saw how it was; he was just mad I had taken so long to show up. Taking a breath of my own, I stepped forward and gently touched his shoulder. "But I'm here now." He looked up at me as if he'd never seen me before, as if I were some deity that had suddenly decided to descend to the earth. He looked down towards the ground for a moment with an expression of extreme shame, before raising his eyes up at me.

"I... I..." Clearly, he was not reacting the way I thought he would to my return. I was hoping a bit less stuttering and anger and a bit more of a happy reunion. After all we'd seen, I would have thought he would be overjoyed. I mean, I know I was; I'd been keeping away from him for the past two months, so it was good to finally see my best friend again. "Brasta...what's wrong?" I asked him gently. I wasn't sure what to think, or what to say for that matter. He looked... fragile if you will. And that certainly wasn't something I was used to seeing in him. Clearly, the months I had been gone had taken their toll on him.

"Oh, nothing whatsoever. I'm fine. Practically, perfectly, and genuinely fine." Brasta said, for once not sounding sarcastic but painfully nervous. What on earth was he so anxious about? Had something happened before I showed up? I had only caught up to him and Kopa few times during their trek (including tonight), so I wasn't sure what was going on.

I just raised an eyebrow at that. "You know that's not true, and I know that's not true." I knew there was something bothering him; but if he was afraid to tell me, how bad could it be? I softened my tone slightly; I knew trying to get him to tell me what was wrong required a rather gentle approach. "Come on Brasta, I'm just asking because I care about you."

"Yes, you obviously cared so much..." He muttered under his breath, his tone an icy whisper. Ouch; that hurt, I will admit. Where had the sudden bitterness come from? I could see and hear he was trying his best to avoid showing his raw emotions, but he wasn't doing a very good job of it; I couldn't help but wince at the unusual amount of venom in his words. "Did you really care at ALL?"

What was he so angry about? As I said before, I thought he'd be happy to see me back, not acting like... whatever this was. "Of course I cared. I'm back, aren't I-"

"That's not what I mean." he said, cutting me off sharply, his voice like shards of glass. "You were DEAD." He looked like he was about to shatter at this point, but he kept on speaking. "I thought you were dead. Like nearly everyone else I've ever..." He looked away for a moment. "Known." I knew that wasn't the word he was looking for, but I let him continue anyway. His voice was gradually rising, despite his efforts to keep it down. "I thought I literally had no one left in this world but Maua.. and Kopa." he added almost as an afterthought. "I thought I was almost all alone. You weren't there to say you had my back. You weren't there when I was crying myself to sleep. You weren't there when I was praying for sleep not to come, so I wouldn't have to face the nightmares of you and Fuwele and my Father and all of my family DYING!" He was shaking now, his voice almost at a shout. "YOU WEREN'T THERE WHEN I WAS RUNNING FROM SADIC, DESTROYED AND HUMILIATED, AFTER HE TOLD ME YOU WERE DEAD! YOU WERE ALIVE ALL THIS TIME, AND YOU NEVER ONCE LET ME KNOW! EVERY TIME I NEEDED YOU, YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

He finally took a that, shaking uncontrollably, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. If I said his words hadn't cut me like a knife, I'd be lying. I knew he was was hurt- but until now, I didn't know how much I'd been missed. I thought, if I followed Sadic, I'd be able to eventually catch up to Brasta sooner or later. I could have done it sooner- but I had thought it'd be safer if I waited. Safer? I scoffed at myself. Had that measure of safety really been worth it? "I'm sorry, I took the "safe" route so I could find you alive and well..." I said haltingly. "I thought you'd be okay..." Almost immediately, I realised something was missing from the list of people... it couldn't be? "And what do you mean only Maua and Kopa, what happened to Fuwele?"

As soon as those words left my mouth, I instantly regretted them. The answer was in his eyes; hurt, anger, pain and a bit of denial. A look I knew all too well.

"She's... passed on. Sadic, he... left her alive just so I could watch her die. I said the last rites, and Kopa and I said a few extra prayers for her after we fled..." He trailed off. So she WAS dead. I had wondered why I hadn't seen her with them the few times since I'd left the caves. A sudden pain went through my heart- she had been like my sister, as much as Brasta was my brother. I felt in that moment as if a great weight pressed upon my heart. Frowning, I shook my head; though this was a horrible situation for all of us, I had to keep looking at this realistically. At least there was some kind of silver lining.

"Kopa and Maua are okay? At least they survived, the last few traces of good in this situation." I said, trying to lighten the mood again, grinning slightly out of awkwardness.

"Well, not the only one...you're alive, and you are here now." Brasta said, his face lighting up briefly before he turned it back into his normally impassive expression. He blinked, then continued speaking a little too fast. "I know for a fact that Maua's been wanting to see you again." Brasta said, trying to reflect my good humour by smiling back. And for once, I could tell it was genuine. He hesitated for a minute, before hugging me awkwardly. Awkward on my part, because he was squeezing the ever-loving daylights out of my lungs. Zounds, you'd think he was trying to accumulate a few month's worth of stored-up affection into one minute.

"Brasta..." I rasped. "A little.. too... tight. You're crushing me..." He quickly detached himself from me as if he'd been stung, prompting another metaphorical raised eyebrow.

"Oh, right... sorry." he said, smoothing out his fur, and putting that eternally sober expression back on. I raised an eyebrow; this was... not normal for him. He usually showed emotion in the form of short intervals in the midst of logic and reason. Or the occasional guilt-induced, "catastrophe mode" rant that caused me to wonder about his emotional health. Then again, I suppose I could give him some leeway- after all, he HAD just realised I was alive.

Still, I couldn't help but think that something seemed off. I could tell Brasta was hiding something; but given recent events, I figured it's probably better to just forget I ever noticed it. As he walked along the desert earth, he turned back towards me with the inevitable question on his lips. "So, how exactly did you escape?"

I thought back for a moment- it wasn't the best of memories, but it still was something. "I found my way out of the tunnels on the other side- apparently there is more than one way out." Brasta said nothing, but I could tell he was analysing my every word and trying to create a sequence of events in his head.

"So... I assume you got out of the caves shortly after Kopa and I, and you..."

"Followed behind Sadic- I stayed hidden in the caves for a bit longer, waiting until sundown and they were already across the river before following. I caught your scent once I got to the jungle, and ascertained that you'd been there a few hours before. Sadic, Drake and their happy band were already ahead of me by several hours, so I was getting worried. I knew that they had probably picked up on your scent by then, so I was getting worried. I took a shortcut through the jungle to try and catch up with you, and managed to get ahead of Sadic and Drake. They almost caught me, too- but I hid under a waterfall, and they didn't notice me.."

Brasta allowed himself a slight look of relief at that he quickly covered up. Again. This was odd; Kopa, I might understand him acting like this towards. But me? I knew him better than anyone else. He knew he didn't have to hide his feelings from me; I was more used to him expressing them in the form of an almost inaudible ramble as he paced back and forth across the cave floor back home. The thought was nostalgic; but bittersweet as well. I knew he had to be missing our home as much as I- probably more, knowing his tendency to beat himself up for things he couldn't have prevented. I took a breath and continued, "Anyway, I wandered my way across the jungle, following your scent for months, making sure I was ahead of Sadic and Drake. Until finally, I caught up to you... well, here." I chuckled slightly at the end, catching a second smile from Brasta. A smile; something that suddenly seemed so out of place on him. "And to be quite honest, I'm glad I did." Especially seeing the condition you're in.

Brasta stiffened slightly at that, then relaxed just as quickly. He nervously glanced at the ground, looking everywhere but me. "Brasta?" I asked. He seemed to snap out of it, his eyes meeting mine again. "What's wrong? I mean, what's really wrong? You know you can tell me."

He took a deep breath, staring at me directly now. "It's... it's like you're back from the dead..." He said quietly. "You don't know how much this will mean to Kopa and Maua." His expression turned very pained. "What it means to me."

"Hey, it's okay." I said, smiling briefly. His eyes lit up with joy for a second, before dimming again.

"Not, it's not." He said, and started to slowly sink towards the ground until he was nearly crouching. He glanced up at me with a sudden look of helplessness before he hastily buried his head in his paws. I just looked down in confusion once more- what could be unnerving him so much? A few seconds of tense silence stretched into a minute, until broken by the faintest choking sound. My eyes widened in shock as the sound became more audible; the sound of... was that sobbing?

It was. If I couldn't hear it for myself, I wouldn't have believed it was happening. Brasta, the most pragmatic, intellectual lion I had ever known, was sobbing as if he had been stabbed in his very heart. I felt a sudden wave of sympathy hit me, and a bit of pity. No one would want to be seen at their weakest like this, least of all him. But there was a sudden surge of protectiveness as well. He was my brother, in all but blood; I couldn't bear seeing him tearing himself apart.

Hesitantly, I stepped forward until I was nearly standing over him, and gingerly laid a paw lightly on his shoulder. "Brasta." He was unresponsive, so I shook him slightly. "Brasta!" I repeated, a bit more loudly this time.

Slowly but surely, Brasta raised his red, slightly watery eyes up to meet mine. "I... Strike, I..." he sniffed.

"Brasta, take my paw." I said gently. His eyes never leaving mine, he nodded and took my paw as I lifted him to his feet. With a slight smile, I brought him into a slight embrace. This time, it was returned hesitantly, as if he were holding something back. "It's alright, Brasta." I said. "There's no one else here." A sudden mixture of pain and joy flashed through his eyes, and he buried his head in my shoulder as the tears came back in full force. I could only pat his back awkwardly as his body was wracked with sobs, the tears running down his face and onto my shoulder. But I didn't mind; right now, he obviously needed some comfort. After all, what was a brother for?