Every so often, I type up something that I feel is way too short to actually be uploaded as a oneshot. So then they just sit on my laptop and never get read. And then I end up just deleting them. And then I feel bad.

So I'll put them here when I remember to/write them/don't delete them. Probably a lot of ASGZC.

The title has basically absolutely nothing to do with the stories. I just like zoos. They're awesome.

What's a Rugrat?

- ASGZC -

"…What are you doing?"

A simple question that should certainly have a simple answer. One would normally reply, and say what they were doing, sometimes with a slight hint of sarcasm. Or, if you were Genesis, you'd laugh at whoever asked, and merely snap back "What the hell does it look like?". Zack would tell you a long-winded story about something seemingly unrelated (though it was known by now that it was always somehow related), finally ending with "and that's why I'm doing this". Angeal would be completely honest; he'd take a deep breath, tell you, and then wait patiently for you to comment.

Cloud was used to asking Zack, Genesis, and Angeal that question—Zack on a daily basis. When he woke up on a rainy Saturday morning and made his way half-asleep into the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth, he expected to maybe see one of his other four lovers doing what they did best—hog the damn shower. Surprisingly, nobody was in the bathroom. So he happily bathed, brushed his teeth, got dressed, and ventured into the living room.

Which was where he found Sephiroth standing on the coffee table in front of the large leather couch, clad in a pair of black boxers and glaring at the beige carpet-covered floor through his reading glasses, cat-like eyes narrowed in concentration, Cloud's first reaction was to stop short on his trip to the kitchen. He then stood there and just stared for a few long moments, face twisted in confusion. He glanced down the hallway, then leaned forward and peeked into the kitchen. No sign of his other three lovers.

And then he asked, "…What are you doing?"

And just like that, Sephiroth turned a tad bit too quickly to look at Cloud and slid off of the coffee table, slamming the back of his head into the TV stand and tumbling to the floor. He lay there quietly, and Cloud thought that he'd seriously been hurt, but before the blonde could even take a step forward, he was pushing himself into a sitting position and rubbing the side of his head. Bright, cat-like, neon-green eyes turned slowly to the blonde and blinked at him.

"Good morning, Cloud." Sephiroth called in a singsong voice, giving the teen a half-smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"…Yeah." Cloud answered slowly. "Why were you on the table?"

"Well," Sephiroth started. "This morning when I was in the kitchen, Zackary shouted 'Angeal, I can't find it!'. I asked what he was looking for, and he said rug rats." He gestured to the rug beneath him. "He was not able to find them before he left, so I am looking for them. I do not like rodents."

Cloud cocked an eyebrow. Rug rats? What the hell was a—Oh. "I think Zack was talking about a cartoon. There's one called 'Rugrats'."

The General blinked at him, then his mouth formed a quiet "oh". He climbed to his feet, rubbed his rugburned knees, and stretched. "Well, what would you like for breakfast?"

He slipped past the blonde, pausing to place a quick kiss on his lips. Cloud frowned down at the rug, shook his head, and followed his older lover into the kitchen. "Pancakes?"

As he slid into his seat at the kitchen table, he made a mental note to show Sephiroth what a rug rat was after breakfast. But as for the man's confusion—he'd keep that to himself and save him the relentless teasing from Zack.

Clearly, I do not own the Rugrats. Though it was my favorite cartoon when I was little.