What I see

I look into my mother's eyes.
And see her picking me up as a toddler
Twirling me around till I got dizzy

I see her laughing at some crack I made
It wasn't that good. Pretty lame actually
But she laughed for my sake. And I started laughing.
We laughed until tears came to our eyes

I see her looking at me, sternly.
Scolding me for something I did.
I nod solemnly, believing every word
Till the moment I see the hint of laughter she's trying to hide in her eyes.

I see her waking me up for school, practically dragging me out of bed
Rolling her eyes as I nod off at the breakfast table
She knows she doesn't have the perfect son
And knows she doesn't want one.

I see her and my father
Together, smiling at each other, frowning at each other, loving each other
No matter what they make up
I learned to believe in that. Through thick and thin, shout and whisper they held each other and forgot the meaningless

I see her and her eyes now
They are staring
As the Visser realizes in shock that the sweet, trusting boy she left is no more

So many good reasons to kill her. So many reasons that make sense.
But I only want her to suffer for her eyes
People say they look like mine